Here's what I'm expecting...
Blueprint for Nintendo of America Media Summit (2/24/10)
"Hello! You may remember me from two years ago! My name is Cammie Dunaway."
"This is from my family's vacation to Disney World last year. We had much fun, until Little Timmy was molested by a man in a Goofy costume, who we later discovered wasn't even a park employee."
"Hello, my name is Satoru Iwata. Here at Nintendo, we try to reach out to every demographic possible. We decided to make a game based off of Cammie's experiences, but Hillary Clinton objected to a video game starring a shrewd middle-aged woman, so we had to rethink our approach."
"This otherwise useless device will be required to play Wii Relax. It will be priced at $69.99USD and will be available yesterday."
"WHO'S EXCITED FOR SUPER MARIO GALAXY 2"
"Sit the fuck down Matt, you act like we just announced kid icarus or something. Who put this DS in my hand?"
"For our new Metroid game, we have used this makeshift ouija board to consult Gunpei Yokoi for advice. We found using the ouija board was so much fun that we should make a game out of it. Announcing..."
"Luigi's Ouija, exclusive for the DS. Speaking of DS..."
"Pikmin 3 will be a DSi exclusive. Sorry, we suck."
"But we don't like to disappoint, even though we're certainly good at it. So we've invited someone very special to talk about his new Wii game..."
"Why, it's Tetsuya Nomura from Square-Enix! What are you doing here?"
"Sorry, I was looking for the shitter." *exits*
"Hello, you probably know me. I'm Shigeru Miyamoto. I'm pleased to announce that we're working on a new Zelda game for the Wii. In it, you play as Link. The game uses the Wii Balance Board. It will be available in 2014."
"We're open to any questions from the audience."
"Will Nintendo be releasing Sin & Punishment 2 in the United States?"