I'm so much happier now that I'm dead. Technically missing. Soon to be presumed dead. Gone.
And this lazy oblivious and incompetent "Square-Enix" company will go to prison for my murder. Hajime Tabata took my pride and my dignity and my hope and my money. He took and took from me until I no longer existed. That's murder. Let the punishment fit the crime. To fake a convincing release date for Final Fantasy fucking Versus XIII you have to have discipline. You befriend a local idiot. Harvest the details of her hundrum life and cram her with stories about how development is "doing fine", how the the game is already playable from start to finish. Secretly create some money troubles: feature length film, anime, mobile apps, eau de toilette bullshit. With the help of the unwitting, bump up your life insurance. Purchase the Ultimate Edition. Square-Enix Store. Generic. Overpriced. Pay cash. You need to package yourself so that people will truly mourn your loss. And I don't know how much you know about Japan, but they truly believe in honor.. . You know what's hard? Faking your excitement for this game. First, you pretend to follow all the dishearting news about this trainwerk of a game. Watch every damn ATR stream. Wake up at fucking 3.a.m just to see how this man has deleted Stella Nox Fleuret, my girl, from this game. Then you steal a Final Fantasy Type-0 copy. And you pretend to like it. Voila! The platinum demo plays like ass. You wasted 60 dollars on a PSP port and a 15 minute demo that can't even reach 20 fps. Happy 9th Anniversary of this game's announcement. But then you go on NeoGAF, and post "wow I loved the demo tabata is doing a great job :)" while you dry off the tears running down your face. Wait for the clueless director to announce the release date. Off he goes... and the clock is ticking. 40 days away from the release day and they haven't even shown console footage yet. You feel fisically ill. A lot. A lot. A lot. You start to post about how the Neo version will save the game. How the game still retains that Tetsuya Nomura-sama magic, even though you damn now deep in yourself that's one hell of a lie. June. E3 starts and they fucking bring a broken demo on stage. "It was Matt fault, I'm sure of it". I repeat to myself. But everyone else playing the demo booths agrees that it is just bad. And because you're you, you don't stop there. You go back. To the day this fucking game was announced as Final Fantasy Versus XIII. Start with the fairy-tale days. Noctis slamming soldiers with this cool looking weapon. Multiple playable characters. A blonde female character that looks hot and it's not some damsel in distress trophy wife. Those are true. After that, you invent. "Versus was supposed to be a Romeo and Juliet adaptation". "The game was supposed to be tragic, not a roadtrip" The spending, the abuse, the fear, the threat of violence. And Nojima thought he was the writer... burn it, just the right amount. Make sure the fans will find it. Finally, honor tradition with a very special treasure hunt. And if I get everything right, the world will hate Tabata for killing his beautiful, legacy franchise. And after all the outrage, when I'm ready, I'll go out on to GameStop and buy a Persona 5 copy. And when my mother finds me investing my precious time trying to bond with this hot anime girl, I'll look straight into her eyes and say "but have you looked at the menu scree? have you actually seen the menu screen? In that very moment, she knows. She fucking knows. As she handles me the nugget pieces she previously cooked for me, she leaves my room with these words: "Persona 5 is the true savior of the JRPG". And that's when the people will know, Final Hajime Tabata dumped this franchise like garbage, and she floated past all the other abused, unwanted, inconvenient franchises like Silent Hill and Metroid. The Final Fantasy XV fans will be fone, but then we never really existed. We loved a game we pretended to like.
"A true Final Fantasy game".
Gamers always use that, don't they? As their defining compliment: "World of Final Fantasy is a true FF game, not this boy band garbage". A true Final Fantasy game is hot. A true Final Fantasy game is game. A true Final Fantasy game is fun. A true Final Fantasy game never makes its fans angry. She only smiles in a chagrined, loving manner. And then presents is turn based combat system. The fan likes what he likes, so evidently he's a vinyl hipster who loves fetish Manga. If he likes girls gone wild, Tifa Lockhart was a good example of empowering woman design. Cindy Highwind is sexist trash.. When I met Hajime Tabata I knew he wanted "true final fantasy experiencel". And for him, I'll admit: Final Fantasy XV truly was it. He created an empty overworld just like that Final Fantasy VII game everyone loves. He rewrothe story to fit that Game of Thrones show everyone loves. He put food into the game because we all love food. He showed the game, semi-regularly. I lived in the moment. Duscae for three years. I was fuckingin game. I can't say I didn't enjoy some of it. Tabata teased out in me things I didn't know existed. A lightness, a humor, an ease. But I made him smarter. Sharper. I inspired him to rise to my level. I forged the developer of my dreams. We were happy pretending to be other people. We were the happiest couple we knew. And what's the point of being together if you're not the happiest? But Tabata got lazy. He delayed the game. He actually expected me to love support his game unconditionally. And before finishing with the game, he dragged me to the season pass full of content cut from the game, expecting me to put other 40 dollars on DLC bullshit.
You think I'd let him destroy me and end up happier than ever?
No fucking way.
He doesn't get to win. I don't know how much the rest of you know abouts social culture (I'm an expert), but grown-ups work for things. Grown-ups pay.
Grown-ups suffer consequences.