So another wonderful date. Maybe not feeling this girl as much as some but it was definitely a lot of fun and we agreed to see each other again. All of this is starting to become extremely trivial for me...
I'm actually considering trying to date some semi-dumb/immature but hot girls just for the challenge... (not kidding, this is actually going on in my mind. I'm getting a little bored honestly. Not by the girls but the lack of challenge.)
I have to respectfully disagree. I'm not one of those guys who plays 'The Game' and uses crazy psychological tactics to manipulate women, but this is one that I do engage in. It's small, but effective.
Just try it out, and see how it serves ya.
Agree with this completely. If it doesn't work for her and she's interested and brave she'll suggest something else or say that doesn't work for her.
Setting up specific stuff, even if it takes a little while, has done me wonders, and allows me to put less effort forth myself overall (choosing places I like, places closer to me while being fair).
Some girls LOVE it when guys do this and other girls are just good with it, but it's never a negative thing in my experience to give a very specific time and place.
if something that little will set them off enough for them to flake out on you, then at the end of the day, they're not people worth spending time on.
My date tonight gave a very specific example of cancelling plans with a guy when she 'felt something off'. But she recognized the very tentative and sketchy nature of initial messaging. You are missing opportunities if you don't play these early things just right (for that specific girl). It's one of those things you have to swallow your pride and do.
My friend (who has dated one girl in the last several years) has the same attitude. "If something that small blah blah, it's not worth my time." Sorry but with that attitude you're not going to get anything from anyone and you're just robbing yourself. Anything this 'big' is worth doing right.
As always EO rebounds, this time with a number from a hottie today. We've been flirting back and forth over the last week or so, and with this other girl's insecurities pushing me away from her I was in the mood to cast my net. We'll see if this new girl is just a flirt/sweet by nature or if she wants more.
Awesome, man. Remember these rebounds, recognize the disparity between how you feel when you fail and how you feel when you succeed and adopt some sort of middle ground stable viewpoint. It'll come in time whether you try to do this or not, anyways.
I've been wanting to get a girl, but from what I hear from others, it sounds like I don't have a chance right now considering they sound like they don't want to work with someone who doesn't have much. "I'm broke, I don't have a job, car, or license.
How old are you? Do you live in a city? You should get a driver's license unless you live in a city. The job part doesn't matter to many girls as long as you're ambitious and working on your future in some way. Being broke just makes things difficult for yourself (paying for stuff).
Anyways, that's my take. Girls aren't as hung up about every little thing. They like ambitious guys that don't want to be super lazy though.
Judging the bahavior of someone you've never met in real life is silly. Hell, I'm a great guy, and a kind and caring boyfriend. But I've been guilty of being flaky in the whole online space. It happens. I've been flaked out on as many times as well. The key is that you kinda hafta EXPECT every plan to flake out, and be pleasantly surprised when it doesn't. It kinda sucks, I know, but as a guy who's dated literally dozens of women from OKC /POF in the past year and a half, I know it to be the truth.
This is a relatively new thing, and for whatever reason people don't behave the same way that they do when they meet someone 'in real life'. Just keep that in mind, be persistent, and don't worry about it. There are great people out there on that site, and you can't always tell who they are at first glance.
I understand the cynical defense mechanism, but I think that's a little extreme myself. Better than being overly sensitive though, I agree.
I've been texting this girl I met on OKC for the past couple of days and the texts have been thoughtful and engaging, despite her playing the "hard to get" game by sending texts 2-3 hrs later; both added each other on FB, as well.
One problem is that she lives 80 miles from me at a university dorm, and she has no car. Last night I asked her out to come up to the city next week, sort of in a charming and sarcastic way, and she replied "If I'm the around the area I'll let you know". Does this mean she's not interested? Considering that she has no car, I guess she's really limited. What should I say? Should I offer to meet her there or would that be too desperate/aggressive?
Playing 'hard to get' by sending texts 2-3 hours later? Are you sitting there waiting for her to text you? Don't you think she might have other stuff to do? There are perfectly awesome girls I put off texting for days at a time because I have something more important to do (or really because I just don't feel like it at the time and I'd rather post on NeoGAF). Doesn't mean I'm playing hard to get.
That's a weird response by her. Maybe she expects some other guy to pick her up and take her somewhere on a date planned before you did and she wasn't clear about it? Just throwing out a theory. I don't think she's uninterested anyways.
I've driven further but only for a girl I was already talking to, was super hot, and was definitely interested in me (that had no car and realistically no way of meeting me any other way). It's not desperate at all and it's not aggressive. It's meeting a girl with no car.
Just make sure you're comfortable with the thought of doing this and you won't be disappointed if she isn't into you in the end.
