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Humans not responsible for global warming . . . Satan to blame!

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T

teiresias

Member
Thank goodness Jerry Fallwell is on earth to set the record straight!!

http://www.wric.com/global/story.asp?s=6140669

The Reverend Jerry Falwell says global warming is "Satan's attempt to redirect the church's primary focus" from evangelism to environmentalism.
Falwell told his Baptist congregation in Lynchburg yesterday that "the jury is still out" on whether humans are causing -- or could stop -- global warming.

But he said some "naive Christian leaders" are being "duped" by arguments like those presented in former Vice President Al Gore's documentary "An Inconvenient Truth. Falwell says the documentary should have been titled "A Convenient Untruth."

Falwell said the Bible teaches that God will maintain the Earth until Jesus returns, so Christians should be responsible environmentalists, but not what he calls ... quote ... "first-class nuts."
Click to expand...
 
M

ManDudeChild

Member
Well to be fair, Hell is underground at the center of the Earth. That's a fact. Hell is hot, that's also a FACT! So he has a point.
 
W

whytemyke

Honorary Canadian.
I can't stand apocalyptic traditions in Christianity. man that shit bugs the hell out of me. it's giving everyone an excuse to trash and **** over everything that could be deemed important because they think jesus is coming back.
 
M

ManDudeChild

Member
whytemyke said:
I can't stand apocalyptic traditions in Christianity. man that shit bugs the hell out of me. it's giving everyone an excuse to trash and **** over everything that could be deemed important because they think jesus is coming back.
Click to expand...

So here's a fun one. What if (i'm realllllly reaching here :lol) he does come back, full carpenter power and all that jazz. How you think he'll take people wearing his death around their necks?
 
T

Teh Pedobear

Banned
Dear Lord,

If you have to send somebody to hell, please send these religious freaks. We dont want them on Earth.

Have a nice day, say hi to my relatives over there.
Bye
 
Z

Zaptruder

Banned
I'm sick of these right wing ****s manipulating religion into a right wing propaganda machine.

It's so tiresome hearing about politics and religion in america. Wish you could nuke the whole hypocritical edifice and start again on a belief system predicated on logic.
 
T

ToxicAdam

Member
Jerry is just upset he didn't figure out how to fleece the guilty, rich liberal first. Fleecing the trailer park trash isn't nearly as profitable.
 
MaddenNFL64

MaddenNFL64

Member
So, by 'naive Christian leaders', who is he calling out? I would love to see a war of words happen between pastors. I need more entertainment.
 
L

Lucky Forward

Member
Satan: Hmmm...if I have my unholy minions stoke the flames of hell just 3 degrees hotter, I may be able to divert God's followers onto the red herring of environmentalism and away from their mission of saving more souls...it's just crazy enough to work.

Saddam: Hey Satan.....look at this!

Satan: Oh, Saddam. *sighs*
 
T

TheIkariWarrior

Member
"Global Warming" is cyclic. it's happened in the past. the earth's temp heated up by something like several whole degrees in the middle-ages. it's been much hotter in the past than it is now.

all the global warming fear-mongering is part of the NWO's agenda for the U.S. and the world.

ohhh Global Warming is so bad ====> Global Government.

oh and F**K al gore and his Convenient Lie :)


besides, global warming is GOOD. it lets more crops grow longer, and in parts of the world they normally would not. makes for milder winters etc.

I love global warming. :lol
 
Link1110

Link1110

Member
The Reverend Jerry Falwell says global warming is "Satan's attempt to redirect the church's primary focus" from evangelism to environmentalism.
Falwell told his Baptist congregation in Lynchburg yesterday that "the jury is still out" on whether humans are causing -- or could stop -- global warming.

But he said some "naive Christian leaders" are being "duped" by arguments like those presented in former Vice President Al Gore's documentary "An Inconvenient Truth. Falwell says the documentary should have been titled "A Convenient Untruth."

Falwell said the Bible teaches that God will maintain the Earth until Jesus returns, so Christians should be responsible environmentalists, but not what he calls ... quote ... "first-class nuts."
Click to expand...

Wait, so God is maintaining the Earth, but somehow Satan is able to do something as major as global warming?
 
H

HyperZone<3

Member
TheIkariWarrior said:
"Global Warming" is cyclic. it's happened in the past. the earth's temp heated up by something like several whole degrees in the middle-ages. it's been much hotter in the past than it is now.

all the global warming fear-mongering is part of the NWO's agenda for the U.S. and the world.

ohhh Global Warming is so bad ====> Global Government.

oh and F**K al gore and his Convenient Lie :)


besides, global warming is GOOD. it lets more crops grow longer, and in parts of the world they normally would not. makes for milder winters etc.

I love global warming. :lol
Click to expand...
yeah, all those droughts and floods I keep hearing about are doing us all a world of good.
 
D

Dan

No longer boycotting the Wolfenstein franchise
The Reverend Jerry Falwell says global warming is "Satan's attempt to redirect the church's primary focus" from evangelism to environmentalism.
Falwell told his Baptist congregation in Lynchburg yesterday that "the jury is still out" on whether humans are causing -- or could stop -- global warming.

But he said some "naive Christian leaders" are being "duped" by arguments like those presented in former Vice President Al Gore's documentary "An Inconvenient Truth. Falwell says the documentary should have been titled "A Convenient Untruth."

Falwell said the Bible teaches that God will maintain the Earth until Jesus returns, so Christians should be responsible environmentalists, but not what he calls ... quote ... "first-class nuts."
Click to expand...
Between those three statements, too many logical fallacies to count.
 
S

Shig

Strap on your hooker ...
So religion and environmental responsibility are conflicting, incompatible idealogies, then? How is that?
 
Z

ziegen

Member
Doesn't that satan guy ever do anything good to help us out.....all I ever hear about is the bad stuff. sheesh


maybe if people just gave him a chance.....
 
A

AntoneM

Member
whew! and I thought I would have to start driving less, using less heat/AC, and switching my light bulbs. Suck it Satan! I ain't changin'!
 
F

fallengorn

Bitches love smiley faces
ziegen said:
Doesn't that satan guy ever do anything good to help us out.....all I ever hear about is the bad stuff. sheesh


maybe if people just gave him a chance.....
Click to expand...
devilalpacinooh0.gif

"I'm here on the ground with my nose in it since the whole thing began. I've nurtured every sensation man's been inspired to have. I cared about what he wanted and I never judged him. Why? Because I never rejected him. In spite of all his imperfections, I'm a fan of man! I'm a humanist. Maybe the last humanist. "
 
Phoenix

Phoenix

Member
Nut job Falwell said:
Falwell said the Bible teaches that God will maintain the Earth until Jesus returns, so Christians should be responsible environmentalists, but not what he calls ... quote ... "first-class nuts."
Click to expand...

Earth isn't going anywhere...
 
R

ronito

Member
fallengorn said:
devilalpacinooh0.gif

"I'm here on the ground with my nose in it since the whole thing began. I've nurtured every sensation man's been inspired to have. I cared about what he wanted and I never judged him. Why? Because I never rejected him. In spite of all his imperfections, I'm a fan of man! I'm a humanist. Maybe the last humanist. "
Click to expand...
Oh man, I loved the devil in that movie.
 
Z

zon

Member
Zaptruder said:
I'm sick of these right wing ****s manipulating religion into a right wing propaganda machine.

It's so tiresome hearing about politics and religion in america. Wish you could nuke the whole hypocritical edifice and start again on a belief system predicated on logic.
Click to expand...

I have found the answer!

satanic_bible.jpg
 
H

Hitokage

Setec Astronomer
TheIkariWarrior said:
besides, global warming is GOOD. it lets more crops grow longer, and in parts of the world they normally would not. makes for milder winters etc.

I love global warming. :lol
Click to expand...
Europe and its dependency on the gulf stream says "hi".
are you informed ?
Click to expand...
Of the grand conspiracy to defile my bodily fluids? Absolutely.
 
A

Armitage

Member
Shig said:
So religion and environmental responsibility are conflicting, incompatible idealogies, then? How is that?
Click to expand...

Humans can't go extinct, the bible CLEARLY states that the Rapture will take believers away into the coulds.
 
H

Hitokage

Setec Astronomer
I love how some people think that when god said we're stewards of the earth, he really meant we could do whatever the **** we wanted and he'd clean up after us.
 
A

Armitage

Member
Verano said:
Evangelical dumbass- -100 to the infinite power
Click to expand...


Ok, so, it's been a while since I did calculus, but wouldn't -100^infinty be as much a positive number as a negative number?
 
Z

zon

Member
Zaptruder said:
Are you mocking me? Or did you just out yourself as a satanist? :/
Click to expand...

Come on dude, the thread is about a preacher who blames Satan for global warming, how can I not whip up a pic of TSB when someone wishes for a new religion in that thread? :p
 
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