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Variety: Ben affleck admits to groping Hilarie Burton

Nekofrog

Banned
Hayter used his experience and decscribed his physical traits and abilities not because it makes him better or worse as a victim, or to dismiss them, but to frame it from the other victims perspective. They are not as big as him, strong as him, and he still got pulled into a situation like this. Imagine how horrified the other victims must be in that position when they have 0 actual power unlike hayter? That's his entire point
 
Right. It seemed like it could have been saying both of those things. 'If I had been interested and gay it might not have been so problematic`, which almost seems to validate the proposition.

That doesn't validate the proposition, nor is that what he was implying. What the hell?
 

lenovox1

Member
The context explains what he means. He says he totally doesn't fault/judge people who do use their sex appeal to get ahead if that's what they really want, so to me this implies he might have been tempted to do that, but since he's not gay, it couldn't ever happen.

At least, I think that's what he meant... Not that "if the abuser had been attractive to these women it wouldn't be so bad". Or I hope so, anyway...

Yeah, that's what he meant. Grammatically and editorially, it still wasn't necessary. That point comes across when he adds the quote, "that's just not me." But whatever. I'm not his editor.
 
Hayter used his experience and decscribed his physical traits and abilities not because it makes him better or worse as a victim, or to dismiss them, but to frame it from the other victims perspective. They are not as big as him, strong as him, and he still got pulled into a situation like this. Imagine how horrified the other victims must be in that position when they have 0 actual power unlike hayter? That's his entire point

yeah exactly
 

Replicant

Member
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Wingfan19

Unconfirmed Member
This was already brought up yesterday and I asked the question, did she mean Ben specifically or other men at the party? That's too vague.
 

norm9

Member
This was already brought up yesterday and I asked the question, did she mean Ben specifically or other men at the party? That's too vague.

I'm still confused about it also. Was he playing goose with multiple people? There had to have been tons of people who saw it if that's what he was doinh.
 

Wingfan19

Unconfirmed Member
I'm still confused about it also. Was he playing goose with multiple people? There had to have been tons of people who saw it if that's what he was doinh.
My guess is she meant multiple men were doing it, not just Ben. Golden Globes parties are pretty notorious for the celebs getting boozed up and the mingling during commercials. Wouldn't shock me that some of the guys got a bit too tipsy and thought it'd be funny to goose a few of the women while they were walking around.
 
My guess is she meant multiple men were doing it, not just Ben. Golden Globes parties are pretty notorious for the celebs getting boozed up and the mingling during commercials. Wouldn't shock me that some of the guys got a bit too tipsy and thought it'd be funny to goose a few of the women while they were walking around.

It would be weird if she meant Affleck was feeling multiple women up. Although he most likely has if he's a serial assaulter.

Friends who have worked these parties have told me stories of people having sex in bathrooms, stairwells, handjobs under the diner tables, etc.
 

Thaedolus

Member
I'm not quite sure what to make of the Hayter anecdote.

One guy made a move on another guy and the second he said no, it was all over.

So, Hayter is saying if he was smaller or didn't have martial arts training, he might not have felt comfortable saying no. But why is that the "fault" of the producer? Is the producer not allowed to make a move on someone in the event they haven't had combat training?

I understand the inherent power dynamic at play but again, that's not the fault of the producer and shouldn't necessarily preclude him from making a sexual advance, on the proviso that he respects that advance being rebuffed which it was in this case.

Yes, the power dynamic absolutely makes it wrong for the producer to make sexual advances. It’s no different from my gay boss at work making sexual advances on me. He holds the power to affect my entire livelihood, rebuffing him would come with considerable risk even if I felt I could kick his ass if he tried to force himself. That’s why it’s gross no matter the sex or physical size of the person doing it.

It’s also gross when a subordinate will come on to a person in power in order to try to advance their career or get ahead of others. Keep business business FFS.
 

Luschient

Member
I'm glad people like Hayter are sharing their experiences but I'm afraid if nobody starts naming names, all this will just go away in the next week or so.

If all we keep hearing about are "this powerful studio exec" or "a famous director" did this and that, there's really nothing you can do with that information.
 
Great. Clear message. And he's right. People should all take some self-defense lessons. It helps.

Lol at people misinterpreting Hayter's heartfelt testimony...it's clear as day.

Reading comprehension is your friend.

What do you mean? Who is misinterpreting it? In what way?
Edit: Oh wait. i read the posts. Though it's always more clear if you give example. Don't leave stuff in the middle.
 

mckmas8808

Banned
Yes, the power dynamic absolutely makes it wrong for the producer to make sexual advances. It’s no different from my gay boss at work making sexual advances on me. He holds the power to affect my entire livelihood, rebuffing him would come with considerable risk even if I felt I could kick his ass if he tried to force himself. That’s why it’s gross no matter the sex or physical size of the person doing it.

It’s also gross when a subordinate will come on to a person in power in order to try to advance their career or get ahead of others. Keep business business FFS.

I disagree with this 10000%. You just can't make blanket statements like this. It might be a good rule of thumb, but you can't know everyone's relationship when it comes to boss -> employee.
 
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