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Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you a tale of sadness in the tongue of peasant folk

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S

shanshan310

Member
yfKAW.png


http://imgur.com/yfKAW
 
C

confused

Banned
John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn’t see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad “I want to be on the ships daddy.”
Dad said “No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS”
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons.
“This is Joson” the radio crackered. “You must fight the demons!”
So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
“HE GOING TO KILL US” said the demons
“I will shoot at him” said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
“No! I must kill the demons” he shouted
The radio said “No, John. You are the demons”
And then John was a zombie.
 
Lamel

Lamel

Banned
Is this what OT is reduced to this late at night?

"Dat mean he love her more den 4ever" oh god for fucks sake.
 
S

shanshan310

Member
ArtistDude88 said:
I... What...

I almost went cross-eyed reading that.
Click to expand...

At least there are full stops. People have sent me paragraphs on facebook with that kind of spelling combined with no punctuation. Comparatively this is the very well education type.
 
L

likeGdid

Member
I will cry myself to sleep tonight.

Indeed, a love such as this can only be described not if it was inspiring and heartwarming, but by how much? By how many "Romeo & Juliet"'s can one quantify their love?

Oh, that we may all hope to love and be loved "FIVE-ever."
 
S

serotonina

Member
A girl found out she had ovarian cancer and she couldnt find a donor, she told her boyfriend who just shrugged it off and stared at the tv. The next day she went into surgery to get her ovaries removed. When she woke up from the surgery she started crying because she cant have kids any more, well the nurse told her that someone donated their ovaries to her. Her mom came in and said wheres my boyfriend? Her mom said, "He donated his ovaries" she now visits his grave everyday.
Click to expand...

True story.
 
J

jorma

is now taking requests
Fritz said:
That's a hoax alright. Why's the person's username Unsterblich (German for immortal)?
Click to expand...

Immortality is sort of implied when you love someone five ever.
 
G

Granger Danger

Member
jorma said:
Immortality is sort of implied when you love someone five ever.
Click to expand...
Now I wonder if the secret to gaining immortality is, in fact, to love someone 5ever.
I.e. as soon as you truly love someone 5ever, you automatically unlock eternal life.
And then you have to spend it in neverending agony and heartbreak as soon as your loved one dies, because he/she didn't love you 5ever back.
 
F

Fritz

Member
Granger Danger said:
Now I wonder if the secret to gaining immortality is, in fact, to love someone 5ever.
I.e. as soon as you truly love someone 5ever, you automatically unlock eternal life.
And then you have to spend it in neverending agony and heartbreak as soon as your loved one dies, because he/she didn't love you 5ever back.
Click to expand...

Now I am crying. So beaut.
 
T

Takao

Banned
What benefit does anyone get from typing "by" as "bi" ? Was the car sexual orientation important to the story?
 
S

Sibylus

Banned
So wait, who is the green man? What was the driver doing, just sitting there while boyo whispers puns to the dead lady?

THIS IS BULLSHIT
 
M

MThanded

I Was There! Official L Receiver 2/12/2016
what

Medalion said:
People don't type on the internet like you type as if you were writing a paper for school, oh no
Click to expand...
You must have written this story. That is the only way to explain this post.
 
M

Medalion

Banned
MThanded said:
what


You must have written this story. That is the only way to explain this post.
Click to expand...
The internet is full of people who write butchered internet lingo speak, even before there was this thing called the internet

People like short-hand because maybe they aren't the fastest typers in the world, and on the internet things are more informal

Surely there is such a thing as taking it too far but srsly
 
S

shanshan310

Member
Medalion said:
The internet is full of people who write butchered internet lingo speak, even before there was this thing called the internet

People like short-hand because maybe they aren't the fastest typers in the world, and on the internet things are more informal

Surely there is such a thing as taking it too far but srsly
Click to expand...

It can be really hard to read that style of typing though. If you are going to type like that, I cannot take you srsly. :p
 
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