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only child |OT| - "No brothers or sisters. Only swag."

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Blargonaut

Banned
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...hm? Oh, hello there. Couldn't see you over all this heaven-sent booty.

I myself am an only child. I noticed there wasn't a thread for this and it seems as good a topic as any.

I would've had three siblings but my mom had sadly suffered multiple miscarriages and complications. I've dipped into loneliness-related depression a few times, but not for long; there's always something new to do. There's been times that I've really wished I had a brother or sister, just for the friendship and homework help I guess. I guess what I'd like most is a steady co-op partner/rival my age at least! But, for my 21 years of living so far, I've coped just fine. I don't really consider myself spoiled, as my parents are relatively thrifty; I've been taught to buy all my clothes secondhand (except underwear and not from smokers) or in bulk and I do most of the household chores, dishes, etc. However, I have been majorly privileged in two respects: we've been able to afford travelling and living in different countries for varying amounts of years each (been on 19 international flights and lived in 6 different countries since I was 3) as the family is small and there's only my mom, dad and I; I've had a staggered education to say the least. Also, my parents afforded my university tuition without me having to work a job (I'm really grateful), and though I struggle with my studies I try my best.

Currently, I'm living at home during university and it's great (a fairly short commute by bus, great food as always and my parents actually prefer this arrangement as I'm still home to help with their business).

Any other only children around NeoGAF? How are your own experiences during this solo run?


Ask questions, talk about your own experiences being/befriending/fighting/having an only child, etc!
 
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rexor0717

Member
I'm an only child and I never really wanted a sibling. I had a younger cousin live with my family for about 4 years, so that was the closest thing I had to a brother. I was always a very independent and somewhat solitary person, so I found entertainment on my own as a kid. I had good friends, but I always valued alone time.
 
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Faiz

Member
My son is likely to be an only child due to my age and complications my wife had after giving birth. I worry he will end up spoiled and selfish but being mindful of the pitfalls I hope we can avoid it.
 
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Intheflorsh

Banned
Blargonaut said:
Also, my parents afforded my university tuition without me having to work a job (I'm really grateful), and though I struggle with my studies I try my best.
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Same here, it's one of the nicer benefits of being an only child. I still have a job but I use that money for myself instead of crippling student loans and whatever other bullshit you poor guys have to deal with.
 
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Auron_Kale

Member
Only child here but most are surprised to learn that I am one.

I grew up with my cousins - my most immediate ones being either older or younger by 2-6 years. I guess the closeness in age and being around them constantly made me seem like I had siblings growing up.
 
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Hilbert

Deep into his 30th decade
My siblings are my closest friends. I wouldn't change that for the world.

Made sure to have a baby very soon after our first (15 months) so they can grow up together as well.

Siblings forever!
 
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Ranger Taffles

Member
Parents were always careful about my personal spending so as not spoil me. In return, I learned monetary value pretty quickly. I was a shy kid but that was taken care of once I got into primary school. Developed a love of quietness though, always need my own time of peace. I also agree about education spending, it helped my family a lot in that regard. However, one of the main differences I noticed as an only child was the maturity brought up. Learned pretty quick about matters regarding to saving, leisure, conversing among all ages, stuff that's short-term or long-term good. It was a pretty damn great contrast to my cousins and friends. Also, gaming and reading were a huge factor on being alone and it definitely helped with the loneliness to some extent. But with age more important things came up and a lot more independence too.
 
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Sai-kun

Banned
I'm not an only child, but my sister is much much older (21 years older), so by the time I was born, she was already out of the house and doing her own thing, and lived on the other side of the city so I hardly ever saw her till I was older.

...so I kinda consider myself an only child. I wish I had a sibling around the same age, but at the same time I like having my own space, so I'm glad I had my own room and everything, growing up.
 
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Effnine

Member
I've always wanted a brother and/or sister, but damn I've been spoiled to hell ... not sure if it would be worth the trade off ...

johnnyDOLLARS.gif
 
J

jb1234

Member
I used to have an older sister but then she came down with schizophrenia, lost herself and forgot she had a family.
 
B

Blargonaut

Banned
rexor0717 said:
I'm an only child and I never really wanted a sibling. I had a younger cousin live with my family for about 4 years, so that was the closest thing I had to a brother. I was always a very independent and somewhat solitary person, so I found entertainment on my own as a kid. I had good friends, but I always valued alone time.
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I can count the major times I've really, really wanted a sibling on two hands, but overall, that's also fairly how I think I am, minus the interaction with cousins (I've never really been around mine). I've grown to value alone time more than anything because it's the only time I really feel comfortable :eek:

Faiz said:
My son is likely to be an only child due to my age and complications my wife had after giving birth. I worry he will end up spoiled and selfish but being mindful of the pitfalls I hope we can avoid it.
Click to expand...

No worries, but companionship is really important. My dad is the one who got me into gaming and sci-fi/fantasy from a really early age and we played Halo, Diablo, Warcraft, Baldur's Gate and other games together all the time. I remember one time that he helped me with the Disney Hercules PS1 game when I couldn't beat the Hydra or do the Pegasus segment. Since I didn't have any siblings growing up he sort of assumed that role for me. We still play Diablo 3 together.

My mom never specially spoiled me and maintained discipline, teaching me to do chores and stuff myself but not to be afraid of asking others for help when you really need it. My dad's a bit more lax though :p One important thing she really focused on was the difference between needs and wants. Personally I think that's what saved me from becoming a spoiled, selfish brat (somewhat)!

pokeystaples said:
Dating one right now. Love her to death, but damn if she isn't spoiled and slightly awkward.
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Since I don't know her I'm just throwing wild guesses out there; maybe the awkwardness is due to the lack of experience in being truly close to someone?

Having no siblings created a vast amount of alone time for me growing up. Learning the proper tact during conversations was fairly challenging for me because I lacked the siblings to learn it with. Maybe she's just used to being alone more than being with someone for long periods of time, and she doesn't feel truly comfortable with maintaining extended periods of interaction. Can't really say, though.

Personally, that's what I feel I lack myself...

Dunno about the spoilage there, though :/

Auron_Kale said:
Only child here but most are surprised to learn that I am one.

I grew up with my cousins - my most immediate ones being either older or younger by 2-6 years. I guess the closeness in age and being around them constantly made me seem like I had siblings growing up.
Click to expand...

You're lucky to have cousins around! :eek: I have around 40+ cousins back in my native country but I've been cut off from them since childhood. My parents have moved to different countries multiple times while I was growing up and I've had to leave behind so many groups of friends over the years. I think I've been fairly distant and cold when meeting new people because I still have this attitude that I won't really know them for long anyway, so why bother... I guess this is why I don't really have friends or contacts in university :I







How much does the majority of GAF believe in the spoiled, selfish only child stereotype? It seems a lot of people do :eek:
 
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Hycran

Banned
Being an only child in itself is fine for most people as they just trade off siblings for good friends. Being an only child of two only children though? That is some other shit right there. I come from a big family with multiple big families adjoining so there was always a birthday party or family event every month. Knew a girl who was an only from two only's and she always seemed lonely :(
 
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Septimus Prime

Member
I'm an only child, but my wife is one of seven. Counting her siblings' spouses, I went from having no siblings to freaking 12 siblings(-in-law) overnight.
 
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Princess Viola

Member
I'm not technically an only child, because I have an older sister. But I didn't grow up with her (she lives with my mom and step-dad and I live with and was raised by my grandparents).

So I guess I can be considered an "honorary" only child? :p
 
D

DUFFMCWALIN

Member
Blargonaut said:
How much does the majority of GAF believe in the spoiled, selfish only child stereotype? It seems a lot of people do :eek:
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We might believe because we've ran into it so often. This isn't really a harmful stereotype (unless your going to make the argument that every stereotype is harmful, then fine) and it might not even be true.
 
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Jake.

Member
i'm an only child, although my mother wanted more children she couldn't due to health complications.

unlike most only children, my parents were dirt poor until i was about 14 or so - growing up there was lots of things that i didn't have, but they did the best that they could. however, every other kid i knew at school who didn't have siblings definitely fit the 'spoilt brat' stereotype haha.
 
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Plywood

NeoGAF's smiling token!
I think only child's tend to be more individualistic and are given more freedom to do so. As someone who was the youngest amongst two brothers and two sisters I always felt a certain pressure to sort of fall in line with their behaviors, likes and dislikes, interests etc.
 
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Hilbert

Deep into his 30th decade
Plywood said:
I think only child's tend to be more individualistic and are given more freedom to do so. As someone who was the youngest amongst two brothers and two sisters I always felt a certain pressure to sort of fall in line with their behaviors, likes and dislikes, interests etc.
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I have 4 siblings, so I have learned to pretty much go with the flow on everything. Actually kind of became a problem later in life, because I never really give any opinions on what we should do. Ended up annoying quite a few of my friends.
 
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Plywood

NeoGAF's smiling token!
Hilbert said:
I have 4 siblings, so I have learned to pretty much go with the flow on everything. Actually kind of became a problem later in life, because I never really give any opinions on what we should do. Ended up annoying quite a few of my friends.
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Yeah, I've definitely had a fair share of lack of opinions on things and there are other times where I just concede instead of giving my opinion because I don't want to get into it nor go against the grain.
 
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Hilbert

Deep into his 30th decade
was about to comment again about how me and my siblings would play games together. Are there more non only children comments in here? Maybe we need a sibling thread.
 
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HeySeuss

Member
Only child and was never spoiled. Had too learn to cook and do my own laundry at 12, got a job at 15, bought my own car at 16 and had 2 jobs during the summer through high school. Everything I have I got on my own.

Bootstraps bitches!
 
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ahoyhoy

Unconfirmed Member
I have five siblings, so there are six of us total.

- Lived in an upper-middle class area but as a result of the money my father made being spread throughout our large family, we lived more of a lower-middle class lifestyle, resulting in me usually feeling like one of the poorer kids up until High School. However, I also was instilled with a need to work for everything I wanted beyond the necessities that were provided for me, resulting in me having consistent employment pretty much since the age of 12, so I suppose that was nice.

- Losing to two older brothers pretty consistently while roughhousing/playing video games left me with a fierce capacity for anger in competition, which has taken me many years to break. We fought more often than we interacted civilly, so I never really grew "close" to my siblings, especially my younger sisters. We only ever seem to get along if separated from each other for a decent period of time and drip-fed holiday and birthday interactions.

- Dated an only child with divorced parents who seemed inherently lonely despite having friends and a supportive mother. She was always curious about what living with siblings was like and I always struggled to adequately describe it in an outwardly positive way, and still do, kind of.

- Most of my friends (including my current boyfriend) come from two sibling households. In all, they all seem to get along with their siblings better than mine do, or at the very least know more about their siblings at some level I can't really match.

Basically, if I ever have kids, I'm drawing the line at two, ideally having them close to one another so they can grow up together (and, more importantly, move out of the house near each other). Watching my parents having to deal with the same crap now with my sisters entering High School that they've been struggling with for 10+ years now tells me everything I need to know about sensible limits.
 
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