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Hylian7
Member
(03-27-2012, 06:54 AM)
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Originally Posted by TheSchwab_7

So I am in a pickle. I met this really cool girl on a dating website, we have a lot in common, got her number, been texting, but she's not exactly the most attractive. She's just average. Part of me wants to take her out cause we've been hitting it off, but I also don't want to waste time and money on someone who, based on her pics, isn't the most attractive girl I've been with.

Are the pics from her profile the ONLY thing you have? If so, don't base it purely on that. At least meet her in person first. If you still don't want to date her, you never have to see her again after that.

Just remember, it could turn out BETTER than you think. I have sort of the same situation, but I can't really tell much because she only has one picture. I meet her for the first time tomorrow. I had a date once with a girl that looked fairly attractive on OKC, and then in person she was even MORE attractive. So things turned out for the better there.
Last edited by Hylian7; 03-27-2012 at 07:16 AM.
Vermillion
Member Formerly Known as JokerOfSpades
(03-27-2012, 07:04 AM)
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Originally Posted by TheSchwab_7

So I am in a pickle. I met this really cool girl on a dating website, we have a lot in common, got her number, been texting, but she's not exactly the most attractive. She's just average. Part of me wants to take her out cause we've been hitting it off, but I also don't want to waste time and money on someone who, based on her pics, isn't the most attractive girl I've been with.

Damn, we men are pretty shallow. I realize that, despite not being the most attractive person, I still constantly judge women on their looks...

But this isn't something I want to derail the thread with, so all I have to say is this:

Try and spend time with her and see if you enjoy it. Remember - what Mother Nature giveth, Father Time taketh away. And that's important to remember in looking for a long term relationship.
Banglish
Member
(03-27-2012, 07:27 AM)
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<--Junior
Are we allowed to talk about sex in this thread?
Im not talking about some penthouse stuff, has to do with.. virginity and such. Like, my own.
Last edited by Banglish; 03-27-2012 at 07:33 AM.
Truth101
Banned
(03-27-2012, 07:29 AM)
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Originally Posted by JokerOfSpades

Damn, we men are pretty shallow. I realize that, despite not being the most attractive person, I still constantly judge women on their looks...

But this isn't something I want to derail the thread with, so all I have to say is this:

Try and spend time with her and see if you enjoy it. Remember - what Mother Nature giveth, Father Time taketh away. And that's important to remember in looking for a long term relationship.

I don't think it is shallow to want to date a beautiful or good looking woman.
SpectreFire
(03-27-2012, 07:33 AM)
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Originally Posted by low-G

My date tonight gave a very specific example of cancelling plans with a guy when she 'felt something off'. But she recognized the very tentative and sketchy nature of initial messaging. You are missing opportunities if you don't play these early things just right (for that specific girl). It's one of those things you have to swallow your pride and do.

My friend (who has dated one girl in the last several years) has the same attitude. "If something that small blah blah, it's not worth my time." Sorry but with that attitude you're not going to get anything from anyone and you're just robbing yourself. Anything this 'big' is worth doing right.

I see what you're saying, but still, I feel that if a girl decides to cancel plans because I texted her about the time and place wrong, then honestly, fuck her. I really don't think I'd be missing out on much, I'd just be missing out on a headcase.

If I can't be on equal terms with a girl, then she's not a girl worth dating to me. If I have to play stupid games to get her, then it's not worth it.
mcrae
Member
(03-27-2012, 07:54 AM)

Originally Posted by Banglish

<--Junior
Are we allowed to talk about sex in this thread?
Im not talking about some penthouse stuff, has to do with.. virginity and such. Like, my own.

topic is ok, just no graphic descriptions would be a good general guideline
low-G
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(03-27-2012, 08:13 PM)
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Originally Posted by TheSchwab_7

So I am in a pickle. I met this really cool girl on a dating website, we have a lot in common, got her number, been texting, but she's not exactly the most attractive. She's just average. Part of me wants to take her out cause we've been hitting it off, but I also don't want to waste time and money on someone who, based on her pics, isn't the most attractive girl I've been with.

If she's borderline you can try her out. I've been lucky in that every girl I've met has looked at least a little better than her pics, but it's definitely disappointing and probably won't really work if she's still below your standards.

Worst thing about me personally is there are girls that I think are plenty good looking for -me- but I'd be embarrassed to show my family or friends. That's pretty damn fucked I guess.
hipgnosis
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(03-27-2012, 09:15 PM)
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Had a great date again with the gorgeous and smart girl I told before. The best part is she really seems to like me as well. Lots of cuddling and hand holding. She came with a kiss when we were leaving my apartment and waiting for an elevator to arrive. We also had a nice moment when we were waiting for a tram.

Life is beautiful.
Hylian7
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(03-27-2012, 09:47 PM)
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Just got back from the lunch date. She was pretty cute and smart. Definitely want to see her again. I felt like things went pretty well. There wasn't any weird excuse to end the date like last time too. Also it apparently made her day that I covered the bill for her, she said no one has ever paid for anything for her before.
Last edited by Hylian7; 03-27-2012 at 09:55 PM.
TheSchwab_7
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(03-27-2012, 10:24 PM)
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Originally Posted by low-G

If she's borderline you can try her out. I've been lucky in that every girl I've met has looked at least a little better than her pics, but it's definitely disappointing and probably won't really work if she's still below your standards.

Worst thing about me personally is there are girls that I think are plenty good looking for -me- but I'd be embarrassed to show my family or friends. That's pretty damn fucked I guess.

Yeah see I mean my standards aren't as high as some of my friends, but it sucks when she seems like a cool girl and she's not attractive. We'll see though.
Hylian7
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(03-27-2012, 11:38 PM)
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Originally Posted by low-G

If she's borderline you can try her out. I've been lucky in that every girl I've met has looked at least a little better than her pics, but it's definitely disappointing and probably won't really work if she's still below your standards.

Worst thing about me personally is there are girls that I think are plenty good looking for -me- but I'd be embarrassed to show my family or friends. That's pretty damn fucked I guess.

Supporting this a little bit, the girl I had a date with today was "borderline" from the pics and actually ended up looking much better in person. So the moral of this story is don't be afraid.
Branson
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(03-28-2012, 02:03 AM)
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Can I talk about a break up I'm going through in this thread or should I not? My 5 year relationship just ended and I'm lonely :(
Hylian7
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(03-28-2012, 04:59 AM)
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Originally Posted by Branson

Can I talk about a break up I'm going through in this thread or should I not? My 5 year relationship just ended and I'm lonely :(

Are you me from a little over a month ago?

Seriously though, there's no reason why not, I did.

On an unrelated note, I found out that one of my friends actually knows the girl I had the date with today, so a double date is potentially there in the future. My friend also told me that this girl apparently has a really sensitive orgasm-inducing spot on her hand, that might come in handy (pun not intended...).
NotTheGuyYouKill
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(03-28-2012, 05:03 AM)
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Originally Posted by Branson

Can I talk about a break up I'm going through in this thread or should I not? My 5 year relationship just ended and I'm lonely :(

Let it out, dude. Just let it out.

But be manly about it.

Well, if you cry, I won't judge you. There's no BronzeWolf or she-devil to hurt you here.

Neki
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(03-28-2012, 05:04 AM)
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Originally Posted by Branson

Can I talk about a break up I'm going through in this thread or should I not? My 5 year relationship just ended and I'm lonely :(

No one will judge you. :P
TheSchwab_7
Member
(03-28-2012, 05:19 AM)
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Let it all out man.

Anyway, this girl really wants to meet me, so it looks like we're gonna go out to lunch sometime soon. First date in awhile so believe.
low-G
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(03-28-2012, 05:33 AM)
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How crazy is too crazy to invite a girl into your home?

Like, she's a liberal, so that makes me think she's perfectly sane. But she's needy.

She invited me into her home barely knowing me for that matter.
NotTheGuyYouKill
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(03-28-2012, 05:37 AM)
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Originally Posted by low-G

How crazy is too crazy to invite a girl into your home?

Like, she's a liberal, so that makes me think she's perfectly sane. But she's needy.

She invited me into her home barely knowing me for that matter.

You need to be more descriptive. There are insane liberals out there too. Insanity knows no political sphere.
low-G
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(03-28-2012, 06:49 AM)
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Originally Posted by NotTheGuyYouKill

You need to be more descriptive. There are insane liberals out there too. Insanity knows no political sphere.

Wasn't entirely serious about the liberal part.

So she's one of those people that texts me every other day asking if I ever do want to see her again even though I reassure her that I do. That level of crazy doesn't bother me as long as she doesn't start knocking on my door later when I'm seeing another girl (I've been open about dating around from the start).
Branson
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(03-28-2012, 06:59 AM)
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Oh ok. Thanks guys. I'm trying to collect my thoughts as this came abruptly Thursday night. We were engaged for about 3 and a half years too. We started dating the summer after high school and through our college days and we both graduated. Her more recently as an RN and now works at a hospital with long hours every night. I didn't see her as much. It sucked but I understood. But it got to a point to where she wouldn't talk to me as much and I sort of said I felt like I didn't exist.

This upset her and that same night we had a long talk about what's been going on lately and this lead her to saying she's changing and needs to be independent for a while. She said that we don't have anything in common anymore and that she's not in love but will always love me. As much as that hurt I understood. Right now she needs the space for her sake and I think my sake as I was making her my sole source of happiness.

She ended the relationship that night and it went as good as a breakup could be. We were kissing and laughing while still obviously upset about breaking up. I was trying to stay positive and let her know I'll be here for her. Time apart may be good for us. I just hope it isnt perminate.

We promised to keep in touch and she told me not to delete her off of Facebook and I havent yet. The only contact we've had was the day after to get her phone to her own line and to check up on each other. Since then it's only been draw something plays (lol).

Anyway thanks for letting me post this. I'm just confused as to what to do next. Part of me is telling myself to just have no contact and make her miss me but then the other half is saying why not talk to her she's easy to talk to. Idk guys. Im just meh right now. As I should be I guess.
Sanky Panky
Banned
(03-28-2012, 07:09 AM)
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It's a typical case where people go through the formative go-crazy-and-have-fun days of the early 20's while in a relationship. HS sweetheart relationship rarely work because people confuse what love is, or get freaked out at the idea that they never experienced adult-hood in all of it's freedom.

It can really go both ways, where she will find nothing worth it out there and will come back to you, or she will discover herself and find another relationship. In fact, behind the scenes, maybe meeting someone potentially new (not necessarily cheating) was what prompted her to change towards you.

In either scenario, you have to question if you want to be with someone that can leave you like that. Do you value yourself so low that you are willing to be at the mercy of someone else? By now you are used to her and you have comfort in that, but you yourself admited that your happiness was dependent on her. This is a clear sign that you have to mature and become your own man.

This is the moment for you to truly experience life in all of it's awesomeness and find happiness in your own damn self. The minute you don't depend on someone for validation, is the moment you'll know true love when it hits you in the face. Depending on someone for happiness is NOT love. In time, you'll look back and realize this.
Prologue
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(03-28-2012, 07:15 AM)
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Originally Posted by TheSchwab_7

So I am in a pickle. I met this really cool girl on a dating website, we have a lot in common, got her number, been texting, but she's not exactly the most attractive. She's just average. Part of me wants to take her out cause we've been hitting it off, but I also don't want to waste time and money on someone who, based on her pics, isn't the most attractive girl I've been with.

I had one or two instances like this. One case we just didn't end up clicking.

The other case, attraction grew day by day. It got to the point where I couldn't stop looking at her.


Ball is in your court.
brian
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(03-28-2012, 07:22 AM)
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Sorry to hear. I know it's difficult, but I would suggest letting her go for a while. If you stay friends, you're just going to be holding out hope that there is still a future there. Who knows, maybe you reconnect somewhere down the road, but for now it is healthier for you both to stay out of each other's lives because it's going to slow you from moving on.
butimnotarapper
Junior Member
(03-28-2012, 07:32 AM)
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Originally Posted by mcrae

topic is ok, just no graphic descriptions would be a good general guideline

Where would that discussion go? haha I'm not too experienced so I could use some general tips
NateDrake
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(03-28-2012, 07:37 AM)
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Okay, so I've been attending a new bar the last few weeks. Not really my scene as the place is really low-key & it has a lot of regulars, mostly the twenty or so people who attend it. Thing is: I've been there twice & have left with two different girl's numbers. One is a regular & another who was their with friends & a date -- yes, I scored her number despite her being there with a guy.

Now, how do I play both of the girls knowing they will likely be at the bar at the same time on the same night? I'm going to the movies with one tomorrow & the other won't be back in town for another week or so since she is in the process of to the area.

I've never had a problem with two or more girls in more location since I usually attend bars with a hundred or so people in it. This place everyone knows each other & it makes it slightly more complicated.
EviLore
Expansive Ellipses
(03-28-2012, 09:15 AM)
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Originally Posted by butimnotarapper

Where would that discussion go? haha I'm not too experienced so I could use some general tips

Stick them with the pointy end.
Xun
Banned
(03-28-2012, 12:14 PM)
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I've got to learn to maintain eye contact properly.

Some fine girl in Subway was looking my way (hopefully not for negative reasons, ha) as I was ordering some food.
butimnotarapper
Junior Member
(03-28-2012, 01:04 PM)
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Originally Posted by EviLore

Stick them with the pointy end.

in the butt?
SuperAndroid17
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(03-28-2012, 01:20 PM)
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One of brent's best videos ever

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snW8g...source=message

Cant believe I didn't see this earlier.. so much insight.
Branson
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(03-28-2012, 02:25 PM)
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About her meeting someone new I don't know if that's it since she barely had time for me and works on an all girl floor at the hospital. And she told me that it wasn't another man. lol. And she grew kind of meh at the idea of that too. I'm just at that stage of weird hope that's still a bit of shock I guess. 5 years is a long time and we are both 24 and I thought we were mature enough to talk this out. I didn't think this day would come honestly. We seemed strong. Just a bit different recently because of her working so much. I respected her decision though and let her go free. I did everything I could do in the relationship and was an amazing person to her and she realized that. Hopefully that's something.

Shit. She sent another Draw Something. Lol.
Last edited by Branson; 03-28-2012 at 02:28 PM.
Sarye
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(03-28-2012, 02:35 PM)
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Originally Posted by Branson

About her meeting someone new I don't know if that's it since she barely had time for me and works on an all girl floor at the hospital. And she told me that it wasn't another man. lol. And she grew kind of meh at the idea of that too. I'm just at that stage of weird hope that's still a bit of shock I guess. 5 years is a long time and we are both 24 and I thought we were mature enough to talk this out. I didn't think this day would come honestly. We seemed strong. Just a bit different recently because of her working so much. I respected her decision though and let her go free. I did everything I could do in the relationship and was an amazing person to her and she realized that. Hopefully that's something.

Shit. She sent another Draw Something. Lol.

It's harder to heal if she's still in your life. I have friends who are still hung up with their ex's years later because of that. Part of it is that there is that hope that she might come back to you. But you have to have the mindset that that chance is gone. Do whatever you need to do, but it's not going to be healthy for you to be in contact with her like that.

Funny story about Draw Something. I am playing Draw Something with my ex and I got the word, "breakup". That would be awkward if that came up for you too haha
Mendrox
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(03-28-2012, 02:44 PM)
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Well shoot me. I made out with the sister of my best friend. He doesn't know fortunatly.

Heres the problem... she's 15 and I am 21 (she will be 16 next month) and she kind of trys to hold me sometimes when I don't call her or write her back (well not often... so she's not really clingy, whatever). Problem is that my best "girl" friend knows that I had something with her and like some of you know I have a crush on her kind of. I am finally able to also crack her shell (I've got to be with her, and as I was hugging her last time and told her that everything is okay and that sometimes some people need to be hugged, she was starting to cry and she thanked me at night)

His sister is really mature and good looking and soon she's going on a exchange, so nothing to loose I guess? I should have fun and don't think about anything. My best friend is okay with me even if she's at my place (I got the go... so?)

Awh. And then there is another girl who wants to hook up with me... does look very good too. I know I have really stupid problems. Any advice? lol.
Branson
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(03-28-2012, 02:45 PM)
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Originally Posted by Sarye

It's harder to heal if she's still in your life. I have friends who are still hung up with their ex's years later because of that. Part of it is that there is that hope that she might come back to you. But you have to have the mindset that that chance is gone. Do whatever you need to do, but it's not going to be healthy for you to be in contact with her like that.

Funny story about Draw Something. I am playing Draw Something with my ex and I got the word, "breakup". That would be awkward if that came up for you too haha

Yeah. I know I'm prolonging it. But it feels right right now. We promised to keep in contact and not to remove each other from Facebook. Maybe it was an in the moment thing. Maybe it wasn't. I'm not sure. Break ups even for the best hurt :(.

She thanked me for being so understanding about her situation. Which makes me have hope(ugh) again. The past day or so it's been really hard not to text her though.
Last edited by Branson; 03-28-2012 at 02:51 PM.
AdventureRacing
Member
(03-28-2012, 02:50 PM)

Originally Posted by Branson

Yeah. I know I'm prolonging it. But it feels right right now. We promised to keep in contact and not to remove each other from Facebook. Maybe it was an in the moment thing. Maybe it wasn't. I'm not sure. Break ups even for the best hurt :(.

At first i thought this would be the way to go but i was a lot happier when i decided to just cut my ex out of my life completely. It just let me focux on improving myself and forgetting about what happened. When i was talking to her it would constantly remind me of what happened and i was always hoping maybe she would change her mind.

Personally i think if we're truly good friends then at some point down the line when things have settled down we will probably ended up getting back in touch. If that doesn't happen than it probably means we weren't that good friends anyway.

The idea of going straight from a long term relationship to just being friends just doesn't sit well with me.
Branson
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(03-28-2012, 02:57 PM)
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Originally Posted by AdventureRacing

At first i thought this would be the way to go but i was a lot happier when i decided to just cut my ex out of my life completely. It just let me focux on improving myself and forgetting about what happened. When i was talking to her it would constantly remind me of what happened and i was always hoping maybe she would change her mind.

Personally i think if we're truly good friends then at some point down the line when things have settled down we will probably ended up getting back in touch. If that doesn't happen than it probably means we weren't that good friends anyway.

The idea of going straight from a long term relationship to just being friends just doesn't sit well with me.

Yeah. I also agree and if this was a shorter relationship where we didn't know each other very well I wouldn't be as hung up on this. Would have deleted her from fb, etc. Right now though. I don't know. Lol. Bah.
AdventureRacing
Member
(03-28-2012, 03:02 PM)

Originally Posted by Branson

Yeah. I also agree and if this was a shorter relationship where we didn't know each other very well I wouldn't be as hung up on this. Would have deleted her from fb, etc. Right now though. I don't know. Lol. Bah.

I was with her for 4 years. There is no need to rush things anyway, everyones different and some people prefer to stay friends with their exes.
Sarye
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(03-28-2012, 03:19 PM)
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Originally Posted by AdventureRacing

I was with her for 4 years. There is no need to rush things anyway, everyones different and some people prefer to stay friends with their exes.

I realize everyone has a different way of handling breakups and that's fine. Anecdotally, I found that I needed to relearn how to be single again and cut off all contact with my ex before I can be friends with her.

It's tough because for 4 years, you've been co-dependent with her so naturally when you guys aren't together anymore, you will feel like there's a part of you missing. Do you still keep in contact with your friends? I would say... hang out with them... as much as possible. You don't need to cry on their shoulder or anything but just get out of the house. It will help.

Originally Posted by Mendrox

Heres the problem... she's 15 and I am 21 (she will be 16 next month) and she kind of trys to hold me sometimes when I don't call her or write her back (well not often... so she's not really clingy, whatever). Problem is that my best "girl" friend knows that I had something with her and like some of you know I have a crush on her kind of. I am finally able to also crack her shell (I've got to be with her, and as I was hugging her last time and told her that everything is okay and that sometimes some people need to be hugged, she was starting to cry and she thanked me at night)

His sister is really mature and good looking and soon she's going on a exchange, so nothing to loose I guess? I should have fun and don't think about anything. My best friend is okay with me even if she's at my place (I got the go... so?)

Awh. And then there is another girl who wants to hook up with me... does look very good too. I know I have really stupid problems. Any advice? lol.

Dude.... dude...
AdventureRacing
Member
(03-28-2012, 03:24 PM)

Originally Posted by Sarye

I realize everyone has a different way of handling breakups and that's fine. Anecdotally, I found that I needed to relearn how to be single again and cut off all contact with my ex before I can be friends with her.

It's tough because for 4 years, you've been co-dependent with her so naturally when you guys aren't together anymore, you will feel like there's a part of you missing. Do you still keep in contact with your friends? I would say... hang out with them... as much as possible. You don't need to cry on their shoulder or anything but just get out of the house. It will help.

To be honest i have mostly been focusing on work and going to the gym and that sort of takes my mind off it. Whilst i was with her i kinda neglected my friendships and breaking up with her has made me make a few big changes to my life. I put way to much of my energy into that one relationship to the detrement of all my other relationships and even myself.

As painful as it was i really learned a hell of a lot from the experience. Also i can really relate to the whole learning to be single again, it has been a weird experience. Once i learned to just enjoy my new found freedom things started getting better.
Sub_Level
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(03-28-2012, 03:43 PM)
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I could use some outside input.

Been friends with a girl for a couple of years. In the last few months it's gotten different and has turned more into a relationship. Last week we made out for the first time. Last night when I tried making a move again she denied my move (and I respected and obliged that)

She's had a tough time, not in the best place in life. Her dad died last summer, she's living in a small apartment with her mom and helps support her with her part-time tutoring job (she's 20, I'm 21 btw), and she has other various family problems. She said she didn't want any drama and she felt pressured (not by me, just in general) She says she just does not want sex (I don't know how far she's went with guys in the past, I never bring up her exes)

She's not seeing any other guys to my knowledge and I know she cares about me (her mom and her made me a nice meal and cake for my bday) And I care about her, I mean, we hang out at least once a week and we've kinda grown up through college together. We made out a little more after last night, but I'm not sure I can have the amount of patience she expects from me. No sex, very little making out, she says she just wants things to flow naturally, but to me (and I could be very wrong, I have very little experience, still a virgin myself), things flowing naturally = hands holding/snuggling -> first base -> second base -> e.t.c.

I don't wanna break things off with her but at the same time what she wants and what I wants are two different things. Should I ask her if I can see other girls just for sex? Should I suck it up and just go slowly? Should I break it off with her and move on? All those options suck. This situation sucks.
Mendrox
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(03-28-2012, 03:55 PM)
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Originally Posted by Sub_Level

I could use some outside input.

Been friends with a girl for a couple of years. In the last few months it's gotten different and has turned more into a relationship. Last week we made out for the first time. Last night when I tried making a move again she denied my move (and I respected and obliged that)

She's had a tough time, not in the best place in life. Her dad died last summer, she's living in a small apartment with her mom and helps support her with her part-time tutoring job (she's 20, I'm 21 btw), and she has other various family problems. She said she didn't want any drama and she felt pressured (not by me, just in general) She says she just does not want sex (I don't know how far she's went with guys in the past, I never bring up her exes)

She's not seeing any other guys to my knowledge and I know she cares about me (her mom and her made me a nice meal and cake for my bday) And I care about her, I mean, we hang out at least once a week and we've kinda grown up through college together. We made out a little more after last night, but I'm not sure I can have the amount of patience she expects from me. No sex, very little making out, she says she just wants things to flow naturally, but to me (and I could be very wrong, I have very little experience, still a virgin myself), things flowing naturally = hands holding/snuggling -> first base -> second base -> e.t.c.

I don't wanna break things off with her but at the same time what she wants and what I wants are two different things. Should I ask her if I can see other girls just for sex? Should I suck it up and just go slowly? Should I break it off with her and move on? All those options suck. This situation sucks.

Be a man, just kiss her, show her your manliness, grab her, take her. Give her the correct amount of respect´, but take what you want.

My favourite saying is:

Don't just talk about things, just do it and you will succeed. (Eureka Seven) :-)
Branson
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(03-28-2012, 05:18 PM)
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Originally Posted by AdventureRacing

I was with her for 4 years. There is no need to rush things anyway, everyones different and some people prefer to stay friends with their exes.

Yeah. Right now I'll see if I can get on with life like this. I've been hanging with friends mostly. Yesterday I exercised and jogged around a track for a bit. Afterwards I felt the happiest I've been since the break up. Also been using some melatonin pills to help me sleep. It helps and I've changed my sleeping patterns for the better.

I wish I was working though, this week is my week paid vacation and it kind of sucks. But I'm trying to keep busy. Watching movies. Friends. I might try to get a new job. Just make some positive changes in my life.

God though, the more I've gotten used to it the more brave I've been about wanting to text her.
Ice King
Member
(03-28-2012, 05:20 PM)
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Originally Posted by Mendrox

Well shoot me. I made out with the sister of my best friend. He doesn't know fortunatly.

Heres the problem... she's 15 and I am 21 (she will be 16 next month) and she kind of trys to hold me sometimes when I don't call her or write her back (well not often... so she's not really clingy, whatever). Problem is that my best "girl" friend knows that I had something with her and like some of you know I have a crush on her kind of. I am finally able to also crack her shell (I've got to be with her, and as I was hugging her last time and told her that everything is okay and that sometimes some people need to be hugged, she was starting to cry and she thanked me at night)

His sister is really mature and good looking and soon she's going on a exchange, so nothing to loose I guess? I should have fun and don't think about anything. My best friend is okay with me even if she's at my place (I got the go... so?)

Awh. And then there is another girl who wants to hook up with me... does look very good too. I know I have really stupid problems. Any advice? lol.

Dude. I don't know just how good friends you are with him, but I suggest you tell him right away. Don't just hope he never finds out, cause he damn sure will.

Also, as for the whole her being 15 and all. Well, I'm not a prude, I know age is just a number, but from reading your post it feels, to me at least, that you took it a step to far. Not saying your a horrible person, just I got a little weirded out.

But tell your friend.
Sarye
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(03-28-2012, 05:29 PM)
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Originally Posted by Ice King

Dude. I don't know just how good friends you are with him, but I suggest you tell him right away. Don't just hope he never finds out, cause he damn sure will.

Also, as for the whole her being 15 and all. Well, I'm not a prude, I know age is just a number, but from reading your post it feels, to me at least, that you took it a step to far. Not saying your a horrible person, just I got a little weirded out.

But tell your friend.

You and me both man. Especially the advice afterwards about taking what you want. WTF
[KoRp]Jazzman
Member
(03-28-2012, 05:43 PM)
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I'm really hoping it was just his poor English and he actually got with his female friend who he has had a crush on who I assume isn't 15... But I give people the benefit of the doubt too much, and this is GAF lol
Sub_Level
Member
(03-28-2012, 06:06 PM)
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Originally Posted by Mendrox

Be a man, just kiss her, show her your manliness, grab her, take her. Give her the correct amount of respect´, but take what you want.

My favourite saying is:

Don't just talk about things, just do it and you will succeed. (Eureka Seven) :-)

I want to work things out with her or find a resolution to the situation, not get slapped in the face and receive a restraining order or get in some weird fucked up domination relationship.

But I appreciate your attempt at advice.
Sarye
Member
(03-28-2012, 06:51 PM)
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Originally Posted by Sub_Level

snip

It's a tough situation for sure, especially because she has gone through some tough times. A couple of months is a long time for little make out sessions.

If I were you, I would just suck it up for a little while longer and see if things improve. Definitely communicate with her that you are unhappy with the situation. If she says she want things to flow naturally but it's been this long, it can be that she is dealing with something or scared or just not ready for anything intimate.

But if it really bothers you to the point of wanting to break up, no one would blame you for that. Being intimate with your significant other is important in any relationship.
Vermillion
Member Formerly Known as JokerOfSpades
(03-28-2012, 07:11 PM)
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Originally Posted by Truth101

I don't think it is shallow to want to date a beautiful or good looking woman.

It's not, but to ignore a potential good match on the basis of looks is. Besides, often average guys will ignore average girls, despite that irony.
Minamu
Member
(03-28-2012, 07:31 PM)
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Originally Posted by JokerOfSpades

Damn, we men are pretty shallow. I realize that, despite not being the most attractive person, I still constantly judge women on their looks...

But this isn't something I want to derail the thread with, so all I have to say is this:

Try and spend time with her and see if you enjoy it. Remember - what Mother Nature giveth, Father Time taketh away. And that's important to remember in looking for a long term relationship.

I don't think it's negative and mean to be shallow if you're being it for the "right" reason. I mean, if you're being shallow in a sense that you lower her value as a human being based on her looks, that's pretty bad indeed. But judging people on looks is also quite genetic and is a mating filter, as men and women have valued different things in a partner, since the dawn of time. Women usually prefer muscular men, not just because they like the look, but because they're programmed to be attracted to the protection that may give them. Big muscles is usually a signal of leadership and power, something that we can't really help but find sexually attractive. So in that sense, the thing we call shallowness is actually one of the most natural things about all of us. Good or bad, I must add.
low-G
Member
(03-28-2012, 07:37 PM)
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Originally Posted by Mendrox

Well shoot me. I made out with the sister of my best friend. He doesn't know fortunatly.

Heres the problem... she's 15 and I am 21 (she will be 16 next month) and she kind of trys to hold me sometimes when I don't call her or write her back (well not often... so she's not really clingy, whatever). Problem is that my best "girl" friend knows that I had something with her and like some of you know I have a crush on her kind of. I am finally able to also crack her shell (I've got to be with her, and as I was hugging her last time and told her that everything is okay and that sometimes some people need to be hugged, she was starting to cry and she thanked me at night)

His sister is really mature and good looking and soon she's going on a exchange, so nothing to loose I guess? I should have fun and don't think about anything. My best friend is okay with me even if she's at my place (I got the go... so?)

Awh. And then there is another girl who wants to hook up with me... does look very good too. I know I have really stupid problems. Any advice? lol.

Delete this post, hire a good lawyer, tell the judge you thought she was older. Whoops too late quoted.
mcrae
Member
(03-28-2012, 07:46 PM)

Originally Posted by butimnotarapper

Where would that discussion go? haha I'm not too experienced so I could use some general tips

a route i've heard people suggest is to pretend you havent had sex for a long time. like a year. this is if you're embarrassed about admitting that you're a virgin.

another tip would be to watch a ton of porn, like amateur guy on girl stuff, just to see different positions and how other people.. do it

oral is wonderful.. but if again you're afraid of coming too early, you can always do it intentionally, then do her, by which time you should be ready to go again and plunge on in so to speak.

really unless you're a good actor/really passionate she'll probably know either way, so im not gonna recommend straight up lying to her face, cause then she'll just assum eyou're a really lousy lay. or you can fake it till you make it. lol




Mendrox: 16 and 21 isnt only illegal but its pretty morally wrong, imo

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