[lawlohwhat]

Hmm. I think there's pontential here. But I can't make such a game alone...

I'd be suspicious of any teaching tool that tended toward quantifying a goal in regard to social interactions. This includes a lot of PUA material and the games it sounds like you're talking about. It seems really unhealthy to teach people to think of others in terms of how many 'points' they're worth. Having relationships with people shouldn't be like power leveling a wow character.

Any thoughts or advice on how to proceed from here?

Personal anecdote: Guy moved in with one of my exes as a roommate and immediately began hitting on her relentlessly. I got jealous and confronted her about it, we broke up soon after, and they started dating a month later. I could have easily avoided the breakup if I had not gone down that path. I credit insecure actions on my part for ending that relationship.

[Xun]

I wonder how much help something like this would give:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Instant-Conf...4014728&sr=8-1

My friend said it seemed to give him more confidence, so maybe it does.

[Etrian Oddity]

So I slept with a prostitute yesterday. Lol, sat night went out to the bar with some buddies, saw a nice ass, so I grabbed it.. She turns around and gives me a nice hug, and from then on it was ass grabbing and dancing till 2 am. Went back to her place, she passed out, I had whiskey dick.. At least we got out of our clothes lol. Made up for it in the morning though, twice. She was good, but for someone in her line of work I thought I'd be blown away, but not quite. She charges 150/hour. (It was free, if that's not clear) She didn't outright say she's a prostitute, but she did make clear she's not a stripper, and after the 2nd time we did it I said fuck it and asked "so.. Are you an escort? Or, a prostitute? Or ?" And she ignored the topic and made small talk, so that's pretty much a yes. I know what she charges cause she mentioned how she paid the bouncer 50$ to skip the line, but "whatever, its only 20 minutes of work." She's a 21 year old 3rd year nursing student who is a self-admitted borderline alcoholic and smokes all the time, weed and marijuana. This can be nothing but disaster but I'm heading back to her place now. Fun times.

STD check, go do it.

[~Kinggi~]

I wonder how much help something like this would give: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Instant-Conf...4014728&sr=8-1 My friend said it seemed to give him more confidence, so maybe it does.

Sounds like bullshit. Guys other books "I will make you rich" "I will make you thin"

lulz

[RPGCrazied]

Sure would be nice to find someone interested in dating me. :/

[soultron]

So I slept with a prostitute yesterday. Lol, sat night went out to the bar with some buddies, saw a nice ass, so I grabbed it.. She turns around and gives me a nice hug, and from then on it was ass grabbing and dancing till 2 am. Went back to her place, she passed out, I had whiskey dick.. At least we got out of our clothes lol. Made up for it in the morning though, twice. She was good, but for someone in her line of work I thought I'd be blown away, but not quite. She charges 150/hour. (It was free, if that's not clear) She didn't outright say she's a prostitute, but she did make clear she's not a stripper, and after the 2nd time we did it I said fuck it and asked "so.. Are you an escort? Or, a prostitute? Or ?" And she ignored the topic and made small talk, so that's pretty much a yes. I know what she charges cause she mentioned how she paid the bouncer 50$ to skip the line, but "whatever, its only 20 minutes of work." She's a 21 year old 3rd year nursing student who is a self-admitted borderline alcoholic and smokes all the time, weed and marijuana. This can be nothing but disaster but I'm heading back to her place now. Fun times.

Just be careful. Condoms don't protect you from every STD, and they do nothing to protect you from crazy.

Remember that it's not your job to fix her.

[Attackthebase]

So I texted the girl I'm seeing and asked if she was up for doing something on Thursday. She said it depended on what since she had 2 tests the next day. I told her I was initially thinking dinner and a movie, but we can turn that into lunch and a movie since the former might trample her study plans. She suggests we have a movie night at one of our places instead that night. Everything went better than expected.

I'll get the cake ready.

[~Kinggi~]

Wish there was some magic way to rid being petrified of social interaction with people but nothing works.

Actually one thing works. Alcohol. But that seems like a road to doom. I would rather not have to resort to alcoholism whenever i leave my apartment.

[Etrian Oddity]

Wish there was some magic way to rid being petrified of social interaction with people but nothing works. Actually one thing works. Alcohol. But that seems like a road to doom. I would rather not have to resort to alcoholism whenever i leave my apartment.

Take it from me, I've had too many close calls using alcohol as a social crutch, and I've sworn it off except in minimal doses (like a casual night out; I'm done binge drinking).

Your social phobia and discomfort will go away only by putting yourself out there and realizing you won't take HP damage if you aren't automatically a social stud.

[Cubsfan23]

Wish there was some magic way to rid being petrified of social interaction .

pstec

[Cubsfan23]

I wonder how much help something like this would give: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Instant-Conf...4014728&sr=8-1 My friend said it seemed to give him more confidence, so maybe it does.

just do the NLP thing i talked about awhile ago

[AdventureRacing]

Alcohol doesn't work for me at all. Basically i'm still completely in control of myself right up until the point i get super drunk at which point socialising with women isn't gonna happen.

[Atramental]

Wish there was some magic way to rid being petrified of social interaction with people but nothing works. Actually one thing works. Alcohol. But that seems like a road to doom. I would rather not have to resort to alcoholism whenever i leave my apartment.

If you're ever going to change your association that social interaction equals discomfort/pain you need to create leverage on yourself as to why you must change this limiting behavior.

Think through these questions and if you want you can reply to them:
-What will happen if you remain this way for 5 years? What will your life be like at this point?
-What will happen if you remain this way for 10 years? What will your life be like at this point?
-What will happen if you remain this way for 20 years? What will your life be like at this point?

And as you're going through each one of these questions try to visualize what you will look and feel like during each phase. What are all the things you've missed out on because of this limiting behavior 5 to 10 to 20 years down the road?

[v1oz]

Just a few thoughts about dating. I've been watching a lot of dating shows lately. I dunno how far scripted these shows are but none of the women on them like the nice guys. Maybe they expect a certain level of aggressiveness which is natural because men produce more testosterone naturally.

I also think dating success is closely linked with social status. The higher up you are within the ranks of your social circle, the more interesting you will be to women. And the easier it will be to bag a girl. For that you have to have something that makes you more interesting and have more friends. Whether you work as a DJ at night, you are an amateur body builder, you play a sport or you come from a rich family. Just playing COD all night, every day after work, will not do you any favours.

Personally I've picked up BJJ. It's improved my confidence and I get to meets loads of people. Chicks also like the fact that I do 'cage fighting'.

[Atramental]

Just a few thoughts about dating. I've been watching a lot of dating shows lately. I dunno how far scripted these shows are but none of the women on them like the nice guys. Maybe they expect a certain level of aggressiveness which is natural because men produce more testosterone naturally. I also think dating success is closely linked with social status. The higher up you are within the ranks of your social circle, the more interesting you will be to women. And the easier it will be to bag a girl. For that you have to have something that makes you more interesting and have more friends. Whether you work as a DJ at night, you are an amateur body builder, you play a sport or you come from a rich family. Just playing COD all night, every day after work, will not do you any favours. Personally I've picked up BJJ. It's improved my confidence and I get to meets loads of people. Chicks also like the fact that I do 'cage fighting'.

Once I get myself to the level of fitness I want to be at I might take up some sort of kick boxing or maybe BJJ. You and EviLore have piqued my interest in it. haha.

[TheSchwab_7]

Once I get myself to the level of fitness I want to be at I might take up some sort of kick boxing or maybe BJJ. You and EviLore have piqued my interest in it. haha.

Yeah BJJ is a great workout. You can run, lift, whatever, but nothing comes close to rolling for 15-20 minutes.

[Cubsfan23]

I wonder how much help something like this would give: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Instant-Conf...4014728&sr=8-1 My friend said it seemed to give him more confidence, so maybe it does.

I found a free one on youtube if you wanna go this route

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiOZN...eature=related


comments seem positive

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

So I slept with a prostitute yesterday. Lol, sat night went out to the bar with some buddies, saw a nice ass, so I grabbed it.. She turns around and gives me a nice hug, and from then on it was ass grabbing and dancing till 2 am. Went back to her place, she passed out, I had whiskey dick.. At least we got out of our clothes lol. Made up for it in the morning though, twice. She was good, but for someone in her line of work I thought I'd be blown away, but not quite. She charges 150/hour. (It was free, if that's not clear) She didn't outright say she's a prostitute, but she did make clear she's not a stripper, and after the 2nd time we did it I said fuck it and asked "so.. Are you an escort? Or, a prostitute? Or ?" And she ignored the topic and made small talk, so that's pretty much a yes. I know what she charges cause she mentioned how she paid the bouncer 50$ to skip the line, but "whatever, its only 20 minutes of work." She's a 21 year old 3rd year nursing student who is a self-admitted borderline alcoholic and smokes all the time, weed and marijuana. This can be nothing but disaster but I'm heading back to her place now. Fun times.

Keep us updated!

I wanna see where this goes.

[FutureZombie]

Looking for a reading on this one. I have a bad feeling about it.

Went out with a girl a couple weeks ago. We only planned for dinner, but then went out and got a drink and then went to a movie as well. Ended the date with a kiss. She texted me the next day to say she had a good time.

We went out again last week. Started as just coffee but then we went out for drinks. It ended with us making out in her car for about 5 minutes when she dropped me off at my car. It only ended at 5 minutes because she said, "I think I should get going." I know she had class the next day and it was like 11:30 at night. I texted her the next day and said I had a good time, she said the same.

I text her today to see when she's free and she says she's taking a week off from going out and just staying home and working. She said it feels like a lazy week and said, "raincheck?"

What does that mean? I work under the assumption that any hesitation of any kind is bad. What should I make of this?

[Etrian Oddity]

Looking for a reading on this one. I have a bad feeling about it. Went out with a girl a couple weeks ago. We only planned for dinner, but then went out and got a drink and then went to a movie as well. Ended the date with a kiss. She texted me the next day to say she had a good time. We went out again last week. Started as just coffee but then we went out for drinks. It ended with us making out in her car for about 5 minutes when she dropped me off at my car. It only ended at 5 minutes because she said, "I think I should get going." I know she had class the next day and it was like 11:30 at night. I texted her the next day and said I had a good time, she said the same. I text her today to see when she's free and she says she's taking a week off from going out and just staying home and working. She said it feels like a lazy week and said, "raincheck?" What does that mean? I work under the assumption that any hesitation of any kind is bad. What should I make of this?

It sucks, but you just need to wait a week.

The biggest problem guys make is that they overthink. Live your life, and if she's interested she'll get back to you.

[TheSchwab_7]

It sucks, but you just need to wait a week. The biggest problem guys make is that they overthink. Live your life, and if she's interested she'll get back to you.

This. The best thing to do is to not do anything. You don't want to come off as too needy or anything. Like above poster said, if she wants you she'll make time for you.

[mcrae]

Keep us updated! I wanna see where this goes.

Hooked up again this afternoon. Went to drink with some of her friends. Back at her place with her friend, not sure but I think a 3some may be possible. Lol. I'm viewing this more as a case study than anything. Definitely wrapping the tool... Will answer the other questions later, since I'm done pooping now.

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Hooked up again this afternoon. Went to drink with some of her friends. Back at her place with her friend, not sure but I think a 3some may be possible. Lol. I'm viewing this more as a case study than anything. Definitely wrapping the tool... Will answer the other questions later, since I'm done pooping now.

Her prostitute friends?

I wonder if she'll fall in love with you, and you her, and we get a Richard Gere situation.

[Lone_Prodigy]

Her prostitute friends? I wonder if she'll fall in love with you, and you her, and we get a Richard Gere situation.

I'm more amazed that he's updating us when he's in the washroom.

Wish there was some magic way to rid being petrified of social interaction with people but nothing works. Actually one thing works. Alcohol. But that seems like a road to doom. I would rather not have to resort to alcoholism whenever i leave my apartment.

Is there anyone you can talk to without becoming a nervous mess? Apply that template to everyone.

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I'm more amazed that he's updating us when he's in the washroom.

Well, this is a man that grabs random women's asses and has sex with random prostitutes without much caution and then subsequently goes back to aforementioned prostitute and her friend later that day. Him updating while in the washroom doesn't phase me so much.

[JokerOfSpades]

Wish there was some magic way to rid being petrified of social interaction with people but nothing works. Actually one thing works. Alcohol. But that seems like a road to doom. I would rather not have to resort to alcoholism whenever i leave my apartment.

Yeah, I know that feel. I'm practicing talking to people one-on-one. It's harder talking when you're around groups of people, but I'm getting there.

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Yeah, I know that feel. I'm practicing talking to people one-on-one. It's harder talking when you're around groups of people, but I'm getting there.

Don't ever try to converse with a person in a night club.

That is a fucking nightmare to attempt.

[JokerOfSpades]

Don't ever try to converse with a person in a night club. That is a fucking nightmare to attempt.

I've noticed. Not worth it.

[Etrian Oddity]

Don't ever try to converse with a person in a night club. That is a fucking nightmare to attempt.

Haha, yea. Unless you're at a higher-end establishment on a slower night, you're barking up the wrong tree if you're expecting stimulating discourse.

But, the key to improving your social skills is mastering eye contact. It just oozes confidence. And eye contact with a woman--especially prolonged eye contact--is an enormous flirting tool.

Anyways...really looking forward to going out with this girl for drinks later this week. You can practically cut the sexual tension between us with a knife.

[Hylian7]

I'll get the cake ready.

This girl strikes me as the type that waits longer for that, but that doesn't bother me. It's still in the realm of possibility for sure. At the very least there will probably be a lot of making out.

However, a friend of mine that knew her told me something very interesting about this girl, that I will certainly have to try. Apparently she gets turned on if you stroke her hand in a specific spot. Weird, but definitely worth a try.

[mcrae]

Both, huh? Maybe she's a consultant like N. Bluth, ever think of that? What did she say that made you jump straight to call girl?

she dropped hints about her earning crazy money, such as '50$/20minutes' and other mentions of not caring what things cost, so i figure stripper. then she shows me stripper heels she bought two years ago in case she was in a tight spot and needed money and needed to strip, but then was adamantly clear that she wasn't nor has ever been a stripper.

So, let me get this straight. You just grabbed a woman's ass at a bar, turns out she's could be a prostitute, abuses drugs, and you want to keep seeing her?

yes...
girlfriend? no
call me a hands-on modern-day amateur anthropologist. sociologist? sociologist.

STD check, go do it.

Just be careful. Condoms don't protect you from every STD, and they do nothing to protect you from crazy. Remember that it's not your job to fix her.

yep..

Her prostitute friends? I wonder if she'll fall in love with you, and you her, and we get a Richard Gere situation.

her friend actually isnt. and i have the impression its her only friend. only they went out for her birthday saturday night. (the night i met her)

I'm more amazed that he's updating us when he's in the washroom.

what else do you do on the can besides smartphoning? why not

Well, this is a man that grabs random women's asses and has sex with random prostitutes without much caution and then subsequently goes back to aforementioned prostitute and her friend later that day. Him updating while in the washroom doesn't phase me so much.

exactly.


so anyways to finish the story, we 3 got reaaaally drunk. this is after goign for dinner+beerss then them having beers at the friends before we went back to the prostitutes. i thought there was a 3some chance, just because of a few things her/herfriend said while at her friends place, but her friend is definitely not into girls, so exnay on that route.. no biggie though, she wasn't the most attractive girl. friend goes to bed eventually, we follow shortly after, i leave after half an hour awake in bed due to hunger/hotness/birds chirping, and decide to text her why im leaving since i doubted she'd remember my reasoning while she was 3/4 asleep. but then her phone was in the same room i was in, and went off multiple times as my multi-part text message came through.. and i remembered she was telling her boss she couldnt work tonight... slash complaining how she couldnt get on her work website... so i picked up her phone and read through her most recent ~10 conversations and checked her browser history. lol, yes, im a horrible human being...

anyways the poor girl doesnt have facebook, and only had ~5 people wish her happy birthday. she's definitely an escort, i found her on the local site she is on, the guys pay 190/hour to the company and she gets 150 of it. shes listed as no anal but she let me do it so i feel special. what else.. she said she pays her drivers 70$, i asked if that was per hour or flat rate and if it was out of her fee or what and she wouldnt answer. no way she gives them almost half her cut though, so i dunno.

[jaxword]

Don't ever try to converse with a person in a night club. That is a fucking nightmare to attempt.

Why would you? The only purpose of a nightclub is:

Men : Buy girls drinks and don't get their number.
Women: Get free drinks and dance with their girlfriends and talk about which guys they think COULD be sexable/willing to buy them drinks.

There is one exception: if you go to a club that has the culture where guys dance, i.e. dance offs. This is the one time guys can dance and get attention AND get girls' interest. Note that you have to REALLY be good, so this may as well be nonexistent.

[The Anti-Monitor]

Why would you? The only purpose of a nightclub is: Men : Buy girls drinks and don't get their number. Women: Get free drinks and dance with their girlfriends and talk about which guys they think COULD be sexable/willing to buy them drinks. There is one exception: if you go to a club that has the culture where guys dance, i.e. dance offs. This is the one time guys can dance and get attention AND get girls' interest. Note that you have to REALLY be good, so this may as well be nonexistent.

And banging in the toilets.

[Boozeroony]

And banging in the toilets.

While snorting coke.

[Sarye]

posted?

http://www.chinasmack.com/2009/pictu...irlfriend.html

summary:
fat taiwanese boy has a hot gf.

[Danj]

posted? http://www.chinasmack.com/2009/pictu...irlfriend.html summary: fat taiwanese boy has a hot gf.

Seems old. Date on story is from 2009?

[Sarye]

Seems old. Date on story is from 2009?

yeah you're right. It just showed up on my facebook feed haha.. I wonder what's going on with them now....

[Darklord]

I need some advice here. As I mentioned once before in here, my date om the weekend went ok but nothing really happened. However, I realized that she was up for more than I realized. Basically, she was hinting at sex. It seems so bloody obvious now thinking over that night but I had only just met her(meaning I was nervous) and was focused on not making an arse of my self that I never thought of what I SHOULD be doing. I've never had a first date that ended in sex before and I put my self in a friendzone because of that. She still enjoyed the night though. I'm seeing her again but she said I could meet her friends too, so not a 1 on 1 again. I texted her after it but she is insanely slow at replying so who knows when or if I'll get a reply to that. One girl I mentioned it too said it would have made me seem "like a gentleman" that I wasn't pushing for it. I think it made me look like an idiot.

Should I just go all out next time and be much more forward?

[Xun]

just do the NLP thing i talked about awhile ago

I found a free one on youtube if you wanna go this route http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiOZN...eature=related comments seem positive

I'm open to trying anything so I'll give them all a go.

[FelixOrion]

I need some advice here. As I mentioned once before in here, my date om the weekend went ok but nothing really happened. However, I realized that she was up for more than I realized. Basically, she was hinting at sex. It seems so bloody obvious now thinking over that night but I had only just met her(meaning I was nervous) and was focused on not making an arse of my self that I never thought of what I SHOULD be doing. I've never had a first date that ended in sex before and I put my self in a friendzone because of that. She still enjoyed the night though. I'm seeing her again but she said I could meet her friends too, so not a 1 on 1 again. I texted her after it but she is insanely slow at replying so who knows when or if I'll get a reply to that. One girl I mentioned it too said it would have made me seem "like a gentleman" that I wasn't pushing for it. I think it made me look like an idiot. Should I just go all out next time and be much more forward?

Just do what you did last time, but be more aware. I mean, it worked for ya before, just finish the deal.

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

so anyways to finish the story, we 3 got reaaaally drunk. this is after goign for dinner+beerss then them having beers at the friends before we went back to the prostitutes. i thought there was a 3some chance, just because of a few things her/herfriend said while at her friends place, but her friend is definitely not into girls, so exnay on that route.. no biggie though, she wasn't the most attractive girl. friend goes to bed eventually, we follow shortly after, i leave after half an hour awake in bed due to hunger/hotness/birds chirping, and decide to text her why im leaving since i doubted she'd remember my reasoning while she was 3/4 asleep. but then her phone was in the same room i was in, and went off multiple times as my multi-part text message came through.. and i remembered she was telling her boss she couldnt work tonight... slash complaining how she couldnt get on her work website... so i picked up her phone and read through her most recent ~10 conversations and checked her browser history. lol, yes, im a horrible human being... anyways the poor girl doesnt have facebook, and only had ~5 people wish her happy birthday. she's definitely an escort, i found her on the local site she is on, the guys pay 190/hour to the company and she gets 150 of it. shes listed as no anal but she let me do it so i feel special. what else.. she said she pays her drivers 70$, i asked if that was per hour or flat rate and if it was out of her fee or what and she wouldnt answer. no way she gives them almost half her cut though, so i dunno.

This is just beginning to feel not so much funny as it is depressing.

Why would you? The only purpose of a nightclub is: Men : Buy girls drinks and don't get their number. Women: Get free drinks and dance with their girlfriends and talk about which guys they think COULD be sexable/willing to buy them drinks. There is one exception: if you go to a club that has the culture where guys dance, i.e. dance offs. This is the one time guys can dance and get attention AND get girls' interest. Note that you have to REALLY be good, so this may as well be nonexistent.

I was invited out. First time in one. Just... so loud.

[The Anti-Monitor]

I need some advice here. As I mentioned once before in here, my date om the weekend went ok but nothing really happened. However, I realized that she was up for more than I realized. Basically, she was hinting at sex. It seems so bloody obvious now thinking over that night but I had only just met her(meaning I was nervous) and was focused on not making an arse of my self that I never thought of what I SHOULD be doing. I've never had a first date that ended in sex before and I put my self in a friendzone because of that. She still enjoyed the night though. I'm seeing her again but she said I could meet her friends too, so not a 1 on 1 again. I texted her after it but she is insanely slow at replying so who knows when or if I'll get a reply to that. One girl I mentioned it too said it would have made me seem "like a gentleman" that I wasn't pushing for it. I think it made me look like an idiot. Should I just go all out next time and be much more forward?

You have to relax. Where are you going? If you guys are going to a club just dance with her, invite her to your house when it's over. If it's something like cinema or something just ask her if she'd like to go eat dinner with you some day after it.

And I dunno how obvious her signs were, but unless they were like "FUCK ME HERE AND NOW" and you were "Nice weather, huh?", it should be no problem.

[Darklord]

You have to relax. Where are you going? If you guys are going to a club just dance with her, invite her to your house when it's over. If it's something like cinema or something just ask her if she'd like to go eat dinner with you some day after it.

She lives far away which is a problem so next time it'll be close to her...and not for a while. I guess I could ask if we could go back to hers for some more drinks or something. We'd probably go out to a bar or somewhere with music and drinking. She mentioned having coffee but I'd try and get a night visit again though rather than lunch or something.

And I dunno how obvious her signs were, but unless they were like "FUCK ME HERE AND NOW" and you were "Nice weather, huh?", it should be no problem.

In my head now it wasn't far off. Like for an example she was saying what she likes doing when she travels(which she currently was doing). They were drinking, good food, shopping and sex. She'd done 3 of 4 that day and was out drinking with me at night. Why did my brain not register that? Duh! I relaxed too much and was chatting to her like a friend or something. Normally I'm pretty good with picking up on things like that when people are talking which irritates me even more as I know I should have noticed all the hints and nudges.

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

You have to relax. Where are you going? If you guys are going to a club just dance with her, invite her to your house when it's over. If it's something like cinema or something just ask her if she'd like to go eat dinner with you some day after it. And I dunno how obvious her signs were, but unless they were like "FUCK ME HERE AND NOW" and you were "Nice weather, huh?", it should be no problem.

If only people were that straightforward about everything

[ClovingWestbrook]

She lives far away which is a problem so next time it'll be close to her...and not for a while. I guess I could ask if we could go back to hers for some more drinks or something. We'd probably go out to a bar or somewhere with music and drinking. She mentioned having coffee but I'd try and get a night visit again though rather than lunch or something. In my head now it wasn't far off. Like for an example she was saying what she likes doing when she travels(which she currently was doing). They were drinking, good food, shopping and sex. She'd done 3 of 4 that day and was out drinking with me at night. Why did my brain not register that? Duh! I relaxed too much and was chatting to her like a friend or something. Normally I'm pretty good with picking up on things like that when people are talking which irritates me even more as I know I should have noticed all the hints and nudges.

If you keep focusing on what you could've/ should've done differently last time it's going to mess with your mind next time you're with her. Just relax.

[krrrt]

Hello GAF, since I'm really bored and feeling kinda lonely at the moment I wanted to share my story with you guys.
So a few years ago I met this amazing girl and almost instantly fell in love with her. As I became friends with her and got to know her better I only grew to love her more. It was never really a secret that I was into her, but because I was so forthcoming with my feelings she never took them that seriously, although we became pretty good friends because we connect on pretty much everything except for girly things.
When I stopped going to uni in the same city we kind of lost sight of eachother except for the occasional text or IM conversation. But due to a sequence of pretty random events we reconnected and became a couple in september 2010.

The thing is, when I met her I was pretty heavily into hard drugs and this only got worse as time went on so by the time we got together I was basically a polydrug abusing junkie. Obviously this is a pretty major issue in our relationship. (She knows all this and has always known about my substance abuse, even before we were together)

The first few months of our relationship were probably the best months of my life, but things started going downhill when I tried kicking my benzo habit about a year ago. Due to withdrawals I was anxious and cranky all the time and basically had a complete personality change from loving boyfriend to selfish asshole. (Although being a drug addict the latter is probably always true.) Suffice to say this was a big shock to her and she didn't know what was going on and when she confronted me about it in a moment of despair I told her it would be better for us to break up. Not because I didn't love her, but because I wanted her to be happy and I knew that at the time that just wasn't possible by being with me. (This is probably the dumbest thing I have ever done.) So we broke up and I started abusing drugs even harder than I had done before. After some close calls and fucked up situations I decided this was no way to live and got help and got clean for a few weeks before getting back in contact with her in the summer. (She asked to meet up by the way, I obviously didn't feel worthy) When we saw each other again we did nothing but talk through an entire evening, night and day about anything and everything before kissing again and deciding to try again because we obviously belong together.

So we had a nice summer for the most part, although I started drinking more and more because I had big difficulties facing life sober after living in a haze for the past few years and because of certain events that went down before the summer. (OD etc) These events combined with the reality check of sober living had shaken me up to the very core of my being and I was unsure about pretty much everything. Who I was, what I wanted, those kind of things. The only thing I was sure I wanted was her, but I also knew that I probably wasn't in the right state of mind to be able to give her what she deserved. This caused some major anxiety on my part and a lot of grief on hers. (Due to me having said difficulties facing reality/myself)

And then she went to China for a year.

This happened in September of 2011. At first I tried my best to accept the fact that I would not be with her for a year and would only be able to see her or talk to her on Skype. The thing is that these Skype sessions only made her absence more real and painful. I was devastated. And being me and all, I got back on heroin and started drinking heavily to dull the pain. (Yes, I am aware of the obscene amounts of self-pity this implies) In the process of my latest cycle of abuse I started ignoring her completely. I didn't go online anymore, didn't reply to texts and didn't pick up my phone when she (or anyone for that matter) called.

Obviously this broke her heart. (For the second time)
Fast forward to december 2011 and me waking up to a text (she had no other way of contacting me because she knew I wouldn't answer my phone etc) telling me she still loved me and cared about me but had decided to move on. Followed by a text a few minutes later confirming what I had dreaded after the first one: she was in love with someone else and didn't want to keep waiting for me to change for the better, however much she might love me.

This acted as a wakeupcall for me to get over myself and get my act together, but by then the damage had been done. I went through withdrawals over new year's and decided to break this stupid cycle of self-sabotage.

A few weeks into January she started talking to me again on MSN, which made me pretty happy as I hadn't had the balls to initiate contact after ditching her completely in the months before. After like half an hour we were on Skype again talking about anything and everything, including my issues and her failed attempt to find love somewhere else. (Turns out she couldn't stop thinking about me and continually felt as if she was cheating on me)

After a short relapse due to not wanting to face the reality of her having been with someone else I kicked once again about a week and a half ago. (for real this time *fingers crossed*)

The thing is that now I have to face the fact that I really really really love this girl to death but won't see her again untill July at the earliest. We do talk almost every day for hours on Skype, but that's hardly a substitute and makes her absence more painful.

I do feel that I am now better equipped to deal with these fact. (Due to being back into therapy for the substance abuse among others) But still GAF, three fucking months... That's a long-ass time and I'm having a hard time dealing with it.

I'm not sure if I'm even asking for advice, as I'm pretty sure the best thing to do would be NOT spend every waking minute talking in front of a webcam, but spending the next three months on myself and getting this monkey off my back and improving who I am to fix this feeling of inadequacy. In short: make sure I deserve her, and this time for the long term.

Thanks for listening GAF, writing this shit down is always therapeutic.

tl;dr: junkie scumbag gets girl way out of his league, breaks her heart again and again, girl leaves country for a year, tries someone else, fails, they want each other back but she won't be back until July so he posts on GAF because he's lonely

P.S.: Not a native speaker so go easy, grammar nazi's.

[EviLore]

The next three months for you is a test of your strength of character. Make it through, succeed, and you'll deserve the happiness you get from her. You're not an asshole, since you understand how you fucked things up before and you don't want to repeat it, so don't repeat it. Good luck.

[FelixOrion]

(WALL OF TEXT)

First off, good work staying sober. It's gotta be tough, but it takes balls to man up like that.

Secondly, if you're strong enough to kick a multi-drug dependence, you can survive three months to get her back. And this time will be all the better because you're clean. Just stay sane, stay sober, and push through. There's really no other way around it. You talk to her everyday so that's good as you can do.

Stay gold.

[Cubsfan23]

I'm open to trying anything so I'll give them all a go.

I actually tried it on myself and ive noticed a subtle improvment. check out the other videos in the guy's collection. The Chakra one is awesome

[Darklord]

If you keep focusing on what you could've/ should've done differently last time it's going to mess with your mind next time you're with her. Just relax.

Yeah, yeah true. Whatever fuck up I did, it's done. Next time I see her I'm just going to try and actually make a move. Kiss her, something. She wanted a night out when she came here, I'll ask for the same when I go up there. Screw coffee.

I'll admit, I probably didn't relax when she was there as well because...she was pretty damn hot.