[Sentry]

I just signed up for this thing. So if I visit people's pages it sends an email to them about it? Yikes.

Yup, no creepy stalking without the other person knowing.

I have a browser extension that allows me to hover over any icon or image url and show me the full image link in-line. Works on everything from Facebook to OKC profile thumbnails.

[Darklord]

So, I've been casually chatting to a girl I met online and she asked if I wanted to hang out with her and her friends on Saturday at some party. The thing is, I'm pretty sure I just want to be friends with her. She seems nice but she's not really my type. It's basically a date though. I'd like to hang out but just as friends. Should I not go or go and just be friendly?

[Xun]

I know it's shit at the moment, but would someone mind taking a look at my profile and giving me some tips?

(Edited out)

Please don't quote the link, since I'll want to edit it out in the near future.

[Zomba13]

I know it's shit at the moment, but would someone mind taking a look at my profile and giving me some tips? Please don't quote the link, since I'll want to edit it out in the near future.

Seems good to me. You come off as cool and confident and comfortable with yourself and not creepy or like you're doing it all as a joke.

[henhowc]

So, I've been casually chatting to a girl I met online and she asked if I wanted to hang out with her and her friends on Saturday at some party. The thing is, I'm pretty sure I just want to be friends with her. She seems nice but she's not really my type. It's basically a date though. I'd like to hang out but just as friends. Should I not go or go and just be friendly?

Go and hit up her friends. lol

[henhowc]

I just signed up for this thing. So if I visit people's pages it sends an email to them about it? Yikes.

I think it only does this if you don't turn off anonymous browsing.

[Ferrio]

I don't get this... started messaging this local girl about a week ago. We've been sending a message back and forth every day (only 1 a day). The messages were getting longer and longer. We had a lot to say and asked each other questions, etc... Things were going well... Then all of a sudden without notice she disappears and either disables her profile/deletes her account. WTF....

You slept too long on it man... ask for a date after a few messages. Of course if all you want is a pen pal.

[Slavik81]

> 4th date
> invite girl over to my house
> browsing through PS3 media library
> she stops
> "Is that... My Little Pony? Wait.... Are you a brony?"
> panic

We then went to Comic-Con and she teased me the entire time about it.

[soul creator]

On some profiles, you can probably right click and open in incognito mode to avoid being "seen".

Some profiles require you to be logged in though.

[Jzero]

> 4th date > invite girl over to my house > browsing through PS3 media library > she stops > "Is that... My Little Pony? Wait.... Are you a brony?" > panic We then went to Comic-Con and she teased me the entire time about it.

You're lucky she even wanted to be seen with you after that.

[tearsofash]

I got a date! We're going to get really stoned and then go watch The Raven.

I've been getting more hits ever since I changed my profile to "Message me if... you're a feminist."

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I know it's shit at the moment, but would someone mind taking a look at my profile and giving me some tips? Please don't quote the link, since I'll want to edit it out in the near future.

Shit, if I were a girl I'd lock that shit up fast.

[K701]

A girl just asked me out to drink on her first message to me; but I'm not a fan of her looks, and I stopped reading her profile once I got to the part where she said she had a 6 month old daughter. So... I'm just gonna pretend I didn't read it and not reply :3

I also just put a new pic on my profile thats more "wholesome" than the shirtless pic I had before, but still kept that one as my second pic like it was suggested, and added a few words to my profile.

Looks ok?

GONE!

DON'T QUOTE LINK PLEASE! I'll delete it soon for my privacy.

[shindoku21]

So the girl I webcammed with last week-- I texted her today and she hasn't responded. I guess she's not interested. That sucks, I thought we were talking really well in our messages but after 3-5 minutes of skype she's convinced I'm not worth talking to? Wow. Another girl I've been messaging seems really hesitant to meet. I don't know why. I'm still trying to pursue her anyways, but not in a creepy manner. This is way more work and I feel like this is such a waste of time. I think I'm gonna give OKC one more week and then I'm gonna deactivate my profile. -_-;

The one girl that I met a few days ago wants to go barhopping in a downtown area with a lot of bars. I want to, but that's so expensive for a college student, with the amount of bars and $10+tip for each beer (craft beers) and if we get hungry, even more. Trying to think of a plan B... but I would still like to drink with her. =p

[K701]

I know it's shit at the moment, but would someone mind taking a look at my profile and giving me some tips?

A fucking guitar??!!

I was thinking of doing the same thing. Looks good.

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

How does OKC determine the Match/Friend/Enemy percentage?

I'm going through who my highest matches, friends, and enemies are. I've been looking for a new nemesis since I shot by double in the chest a couple times.

[Jzero]

Have any of you ever found any of your friends in real life on there?

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Have any of you ever found any of your friends in real life on there?

Nope. One of my friends has a profile on there, but he refuses to give me the link cause he doesn't want me to see it :/

[tearsofash]

Have any of you ever found any of your friends in real life on there?

All the time. I send them messages trying to hit on them, but it never works.

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I just ran into a profile of a person who has a polyamourous relationship with two or three other people simultaneously, who are also on OKC. So it's like four free loving people all together somehow. This site is a treasure.

[commedieu]

OK cupid sometimes sucks.

Was exchanging emails with a lady.. then a few days later we realized that we were 900 miles from one another, but we were matches for each other, or whatever automated thing it generates. No way in hell im going to seattle.

LA. 4 life son.

[electricshake]

A girl just asked me out to drink on her first message to me; but I'm not a fan of her looks, and I stopped reading her profile once I got to the part where she said she had a 6 month old daughter. So... I'm just gonna pretend I didn't read it and not reply :3 I also just put a new pic on my profile thats more "wholesome" than the shirtless pic I had before, but still kept that one as my second pic like it was suggested, and added a few words to my profile. Looks ok? DON'T QUOTE LINK PLEASE! I'll delete it soon for my privacy.

You don't give much away - maybe give a few hints as to what you like?

Have any of you ever found any of your friends in real life on there?

No, but I did find someone I used to work with.

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

OK cupid sometimes sucks. Was exchanging emails with a lady.. then a few days later we realized that we were 900 miles from one another, but we were matches for each other, or whatever automated thing it generates. No way in hell im going to seattle. LA. 4 life son.

Come on, dude.

Come on. Comes to the Pacific Northwest. You know in your bones... you've always belonged here. Where the sky is grey and the forests stretch as far as the eye can see.

Not in that smog-infested, overpass strewn hellhole.

Go big or go home, show up on her doorstep with some flowers and not much else. She will take you right there.

[commedieu]

Come on, dude. Come on. Comes to the Pacific Northwest. You know in your bones... you've always belonged here. Where the sky is grey and the forests stretch as far as the eye can see. Not in that smog-infested, overpass strewn hellhole. Go big or go home, show up on her doorstep with some flowers and not much else. She will take you right there.

Maybe one day, when I get to that point. But not there yet.. It was just sort of a wind-from-sails moment for both of us I'd imagine.(her more than me of course..)

Will be pen pals, she is hilarious. And you never know where its going to lead, but man.. just a big wtf @ ok cupid. It should sort of filter that sort of thing..

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Maybe one day, when I get to that point. But not there yet.. It was just sort of a wind-from-sails moment for both of us I'd imagine.(her more than me of course..) Will be pen pals, she is hilarious. And you never know where its going to lead, but man.. just a big wtf @ ok cupid. It should sort of filter that sort of thing..

I thought it did :/

I was by default set to people in a radius of about 30 km. In order to see people all over the world, I had to go to the 'See more matches' setting or whatever and change some stuff.

I just messaged a lesbian a compliment on her sexy librarian look.

I'm really not very good at this.

[commedieu]

I thought it did :/ I was by default set to people in a radius of about 30 km. In order to see people all over the world, I had to go to the 'See more matches' setting or whatever and change some stuff. I just messaged a lesbian a compliment on her sexy librarian look. I'm really not very good at this.

go big or go home.

Also...

Try to incorporate something in their profile, to show you're not just trolling for sex. They get like 89009291 guys saying "ZOMG TITS!" all the time. Which does totally apply to "girl, you pretty.." as well. Only thing I could suggest. Avoid stating the obvious/overused.

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

go big or go home.

Try to incorporate something in their profile, to show you're not just trolling for sex. They get like 89009291 guys saying "ZOMG TITS!" all the time. Which does totally apply to "girl, you pretty.." as well. Only thing I could suggest. Avoid stating the obvious/overused.

Except I am pretty sure my profile literally says I don't want sex or a relationship. Most of my messages have nothing to do with attractiveness, I just pick up on absurd bits in the profiles and message something around that.

Since I'm not interested in a relationship or sex, I am free. I have no constraints on what I say.

I think I stripped my profile down too much. I liked it when it was crazy and weird and a paranoid wet dream. Now it's just "I killed my evil double, love me you sweet thang'.

Where did the art in profile making go? I sold out :(

[BigDug13]

I found a good friend of mine on accident while browsing. It basically said we were completely not compatible and would be bitter enemies. Good for a laugh when I told her about it.

[commedieu]

lots o stuff

Ah ok.. so the opposite approach.. I get it ;-) i keed i keed.

nah.. cool. Yeah, have fun buddy!

[SpectreFire]

A girl just asked me out to drink on her first message to me; but I'm not a fan of her looks, and I stopped reading her profile once I got to the part where she said she had a 6 month old daughter. So... I'm just gonna pretend I didn't read it and not reply :3 I also just put a new pic on my profile thats more "wholesome" than the shirtless pic I had before, but still kept that one as my second pic like it was suggested, and added a few words to my profile. Looks ok? DON'T QUOTE LINK PLEASE! I'll delete it soon for my privacy.

You should probably put your shirt back on.

There is absolutely no practical reason why you'd be shirtless and have a camera at ready in the bathroom.

That is not a naturally occurring thing.

[Zomba13]

The girl I was supposed to be seeing today sent me a text 30 mins ago cancelling saying that she's ill :(
I was looking forward to it and it seemed that she was too. We were talking last night and she was going to meet me at the station and everything =/

[SpectreFire]

The girl I was supposed to be seeing today sent me a text 30 mins ago cancelling saying that she's ill :( I was looking forward to it and it seemed that she was too. We were talking last night and she was going to meet me at the station and everything =/

Move on to the next one.

[Xun]

Seems good to me. You come off as cool and confident and comfortable with yourself and not creepy or like you're doing it all as a joke.

Does it? So there's nothing anyone would suggest?

Shit, if I were a girl I'd lock that shit up fast.

Oh? What do you mean?

Something wrong?

A fucking guitar??!! I was thinking of doing the same thing. Looks good.

It's the only way to go.

Do the pictures seem to work? I'm unsure.

[electricshake]

Do the pictures seem to work? I'm unsure.

Pictures are fine, and the guitar one is definitely a winner.

[brian]

Can someone advise me please? I'm new to this OK Cupid thing and haven't yet been on any dates, so I'm not really sure what my best course of action is.

I've been messaging this girl for a bit now, probably about 4 or 5 back and forths. So I figured it was a good time to ask her if she wanted to meet up sometime. So, I did. She basically ignored my question, but she gave me her phone number if I wanted to contact her outside of the site. I figured oh ok maybe she wants to talk on the phone first. So I told her I was busy tonight but I could give her a call tomorrow. She basically suggests texting rather than calling.

Now I'm a little confused about what my next step should be. If we're sticking to text conversation, I might as well just keep messaging her on OKC (esp since I have a flip phone that makes text convos very tedious). Should I just keep going with the text communication and then try again a little later if she wants to meet, or should I push her on it and try to get a straight answer?

[defel]

Does it? So there's nothing anyone would suggest? Do the pictures seem to work? I'm unsure.

Get rid of the webcam photo. Guitar photo is good, try to find a photo of you doing something interesting or unique, perhaps a travel photo.

I know these profiles are meant to be about selling yourself but try to assume you have already made the sale and state what you are looking for from other people. What sort of girl are you looking for? What do you value in other people?

[Slavik81]

I think I'm gonna give OKC one more week and then I'm gonna deactivate my profile. -_-;

Why deactivate? I left mine open when I stopped searching and I was happy with the occasional messages I got.

[Keru_Shiri]

I'm probably going to deactivate my profile again in about a week as well. While I can get a few messages going, I'll be damned if I can get a date. It doesn't help that 80% of the profiles I see are single moms. Trying not to be bitter about this, but fuck if its not a self-esteem killer at times.

Maybe match.com would be better?

[shindoku21]

Why deactivate? I left mine open when I stopped searching and I was happy with the occasional messages I got.

To help stop wasting time on the site. Even though I don't want to log onto OKC, it's too tempting not to. If I deactivate it, then I won't be as easy to go on.

[Sentry]

To help stop wasting time on the site. Even though I don't want to log onto OKC, it's too tempting not to. If I deactivate it, then I won't be as easy to go on.

Don't you just get notifications sent to your email? I only check the site if something has popped up. Or if i'm answering questions/stalking someone.

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Can someone advise me please? I'm new to this OK Cupid thing and haven't yet been on any dates, so I'm not really sure what my best course of action is. I've been messaging this girl for a bit now, probably about 4 or 5 back and forths. So I figured it was a good time to ask her if she wanted to meet up sometime. So, I did. She basically ignored my question, but she gave me her phone number if I wanted to contact her outside of the site. I figured oh ok maybe she wants to talk on the phone first. So I told her I was busy tonight but I could give her a call tomorrow. She basically suggests texting rather than calling. Now I'm a little confused about what my next step should be. If we're sticking to text conversation, I might as well just keep messaging her on OKC (esp since I have a flip phone that makes text convos very tedious). Should I just keep going with the text communication and then try again a little later if she wants to meet, or should I push her on it and try to get a straight answer?

Wow, how long has it been since you've been with a girl?

Standard procedure is to send a few messages, exchange numbers, and continue the flirting over text. This is where you show your wit and charm and confidence to where she'll agree to meet you. It gets away from dating site form letters and into more realistic interaction that makes people reveal their personality. Texts are fun.

[Zomba13]

Wow, how long has it been since you've been with a girl? Standard procedure is to send a few messages, exchange numbers, and continue the flirting over text. This is where you show your wit and charm and confidence to where she'll agree to meet you. It gets away from dating site form letters and into more realistic interaction that makes people reveal their personality. Texts are fun.

I think I'm the only one in the world that hates texts. Fair enough if you have free texts and a phone that makes it easy to text but I'm on PAYG and my phone has horrible buttons that make my hands hurt just thinking about texting.

Anyway, me and the girl sent a few texts earlier and she has been spending her sick day playing Skyrim because she hasn't had time to really get into it. She was supposed to be in college today so I guess she really was sick? I'll try and arrange another date and if she bails on that one I'll stop bothering.

[brian]

Wow, how long has it been since you've been with a girl? Standard procedure is to send a few messages, exchange numbers, and continue the flirting over text. This is where you show your wit and charm and confidence to where she'll agree to meet you. It gets away from dating site form letters and into more realistic interaction that makes people reveal their personality. Texts are fun.

Texting is what passes for realistic interaction? It's one thing if I'm texting someone I've already met in person, but I feel like I've been "texting" this whole time. I don't send dating site form letters, I try to have conversations and get to know someone well enough to see if they would be someone I'd like to go out with. I don't really see how taking it from OKC messages to text messages ia an escalation of any kind. In fact, it's more of a downgrade to me because I have an old T9 flip phone that makes it difficult to communicate via text.

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Does it? So there's nothing anyone would suggest? Oh? What do you mean? Something wrong? It's the only way to go. Do the pictures seem to work? I'm unsure.

No, the opposite. Your profile is attractive and any woman that ignores it is a fool.

[shindoku21]

Don't you just get notifications sent to your email? I only check the site if something has popped up. Or if i'm answering questions/stalking someone.

I deactivated all of those. I waste too much time on the internet so I'd probably have a tab open for OKC. It's fun to think about OKC, answer questions, and read profiles when you have down time. =p

[Lone_Prodigy]

No, the opposite. Your profile is attractive and any woman that ignores it is a fool.

If only it were that easy... I've seen plenty of good profiles with good-looking guys that have no success. For something so mechanical, there are a lot of intangibles in play.

[HeySeuss]

Texting is what passes for realistic interaction? It's one thing if I'm texting someone I've already met in person, but I feel like I've been "texting" this whole time. I don't send dating site form letters, I try to have conversations and get to know someone well enough to see if they would be someone I'd like to go out with. I don't really see how taking it from OKC messages to text messages ia an escalation of any kind. In fact, it's more of a downgrade to me because I have an old T9 flip phone that makes it difficult to communicate via text.

Get with the times grandpa. You have to assume that anyone that is messaging you is also messaging 10 other dudes AT LEAST. You have to stand out and you have to get her number within a maximum of 5 messages from each person or you're dead in the water. Because if you don't, someone elsr will.

[brian]

wut? I already got her number.

[Uchip]

The girl I was supposed to be seeing today sent me a text 30 mins ago cancelling saying that she's ill :( I was looking forward to it and it seemed that she was too. We were talking last night and she was going to meet me at the station and everything =/

The amount of times ive been stood up
It feels like theyre all the same person, with different personalities, just trying to fuck with me

[Xun]

Pictures are fine, and the guitar one is definitely a winner.

Ah, that's good to hear!

Get rid of the webcam photo. Guitar photo is good, try to find a photo of you doing something interesting or unique, perhaps a travel photo. I know these profiles are meant to be about selling yourself but try to assume you have already made the sale and state what you are looking for from other people. What sort of girl are you looking for? What do you value in other people?

Done.

No idea what other photos I could add though, I'll take a gander on Facebook.

Also I'll try and add a bit more to the profile like you said, but I won't go overboard.

No, the opposite. Your profile is attractive and any woman that ignores it is a fool.

I've certainly been ignored, but that could be down to the messages I send.

I usually try and pick something from their profile to start a conversation, but it never seems to go anywhere after a while.

I can't seem to flirt much or act playful in messages at all.