[ZombieFred]

I don't get why someone needs a "backup" because that devoids a part of trust and loyalty when having a relationship. I've had my experience on this and I'm happy to say that loyalty and commitment is a great thing to have when together and those are traits I am not going to throw away.

[jaxword]

I don't get why someone needs a "backup" because that devoids a part of trust and loyalty when having a relationship. .

Exactly, it's a pretty sad attitude to have and shows a severe lack of trust complex. Which is understandable if people have been cheated on before, but you have to LEARN from the wounds to keep them from happening again, not let them twist your view forever.

[The Anti-Monitor]

If you really "can't help it" I dunno why you'd ever start a monogamous relationship rather than just having an open one.

[jaxword]

If you really "can't help it" I dunno why you'd ever start a monogamous relationship rather than just having an open one.

If you "Can't help it" you'd better GET professional help so you learn to be able to help it, because that attitude will destroy any long-term relationships, not to mention the disaster any family will be if born from that kind of distrust.

[The Anti-Monitor]

If you "Can't help it" you'd better GET professional help so you learn to be able to help it, because that attitude will destroy any long-term relationships, not to mention the disaster any family will be if born from that kind of distrust.

No, I already said saying you can't help it is just an excuse. But if you really like boning people other than your partner so much, it's much better to try and have an open relationship rather than just lying.

Of course, an open relationship requires a level of mutual trust I'm pretty sure he couldn't have.

[LosDaddie]

Alright I'm currently in a really good relationship. One issue just popped up.... Last night, an old prospect of mine from last year texted me. She simply said she wanted to see me. I called her. It didn't take long.for us, to start flirting and talking dirty. Anyway, she found it amusing quite flattering. To make a long story short, we made plans to have dinner and, drinks this Friday. I'm sure some sexual scandalousness will go down...I like my girl, and don't want to be a cheating asshole. I just can't help myself. I love to flirt abd love to tease. I have a really high sex drive, a big heart and the best (or maybe not) intentions.I don't want to hurt my GF, but I also don't want to miss out on what could be a good time either. I never thought I'd be in a situation like this. Fuck. oh and sorry for the shitty post. typing on a phone sucks.

I could understand a Junior/new(er) member asking this question here, but you? :lol Come on, PXG.

I would go and have a good time, if I were you. But hey, I was also a bit of an asshole when I was bachelor.

[highluxury]

If you really "can't help it" I dunno why you'd ever start a monogamous relationship rather than just having an open one.

Truth, thats the 11th commandment, right there.

I know myself well enough that a monogamous relationship wouldnt work for me nor my partner. So rather than hurting us both and create conflict we choose the alternative.

[-PXG-]

You know...what the Fuck was I thinking....

I'll still chill with her, but no dirty shit. If she makes move, well I don't know. It will be hard to turn off the charm. But hey, most of my friends are female anyway. I have no issues spending time with them. Then again, most of them aren't single either. I'm not tempted to make moves an woman who is taken.

Still, I really like my GF. She's a great girl. I'm sure I won't initiate anything too stupid to tarnish our relationship or be considered a jerk.

Still, as exciting as this is...it bothers, me a bit. Why have I started thinking this easy...

[TheSchwab_7]

Alright I'm currently in a really good relationship. One issue just popped up.... Last night, an old prospect of mine from last year texted me. She simply said she wanted to see me. I called her. It didn't take long.for us, to start flirting and talking dirty. Anyway, she found it amusing quite flattering. To make a long story short, we made plans to have dinner and, drinks this Friday. I'm sure some sexual scandalousness will go down...I like my girl, and don't want to be a cheating asshole. I just can't help myself. I love to flirt abd love to tease. I have a really high sex drive, a big heart and the best (or maybe not) intentions.I don't want to hurt my GF, but I also don't want to miss out on what could be a good time either. I never thought I'd be in a situation like this. Fuck. oh and sorry for the shitty post. typing on a phone sucks.

So youre saying that youre in a really good relationship right now and want to go out with this other girl and see what happens. Why are you in this relationship if you can't help yourself and love to flirt and tease other women? Dont hurt your GF. Ignore the other chick.

[LosDaddie]

You know...what the Fuck was I thinking.......

with the other head. :) But that doesn't make you a monster.

[OddSpoon]

PXG I hope your lovely girlfriend has a man she'll be seeing this Friday. Flirting, possible make out sessions.

Dude, wtf. Spend that night out with your girlfriend and have fun.

[FallingEdge]

You know...what the Fuck was I thinking.... I'll still chill with her, but no dirty shit. If she makes move, well I don't know. It will be hard to turn off the charm. But hey, most of my friends are female anyway. I have no issues spending time with them. Then again, most of them aren't single either. I'm not tempted to make moves an woman who is taken. Still, I really like my GF. She's a great girl. I'm sure I won't initiate anything too stupid to tarnish our relationship or be considered a jerk. Still, as exciting as this is...it bothers, me a bit. Why have I started thinking this easy...

You are already coming off as a jerk.

[Attackthebase]

You know...what the Fuck was I thinking.... I'll still chill with her, but no dirty shit. If she makes move, well I don't know. It will be hard to turn off the charm. But hey, most of my friends are female anyway. I have no issues spending time with them. Then again, most of them aren't single either. I'm not tempted to make moves an woman who is taken. Still, I really like my GF. She's a great girl. I'm sure I won't initiate anything too stupid to tarnish our relationship or be considered a jerk. Still, as exciting as this is...it bothers, me a bit. Why have I started thinking this easy...

Self-control, how does it work?

Hanging out with female friends is not the concern here, but aiming to possibly fuck them if they make a move on you is a concern.

I have a lot of female friends, but if I'm in a monogamous relationship, my thought process doesn't involve having sex with them.

[ZombieFred]

Self-control, how does it work? Hanging out with female friends is not the concern here, but aiming to possibly fuck them if they make a move on you is a concern. I have a lot of female friends, but if I'm in a monogamous relationship, my thought process doesn't involve having sex with them.

And that's the most sane way to be. My ex really has pulled a number on me when it come to her wanting to have fun with other women and then wanting to have sex with another guy if I was to go with some body else because I am not bi/gay and "I couldn't give something she wanted" and started cybering with girls and planning to meet up with one, giving me the cold shoulder when I was preparing to buy a house and she started a second life. It entirely devastated me and my mental state and I am still healing now :( (this was from a relationship of five years and I proposed to her in October 2011 and ended in January 2012)

It still gets to me sometimes in my thoughts on the shit she said about going to do orgies, sex in churches, groups, etc. It's fucked up. I entirely removed all communication, even when she tried on wanting to be best friends and continue to say she was in the good light for being honest and not doing anything wrong. It's still crazy how it all happened so far and out of the blue. I'm playing hardcore mode as I only live like a three minute walk from her house and I moved county in the country to live with her three years ago and work in the town. I am getting that sorted now as I applied to join the RAF (IT) and to escape this place when I can.

[Lone_Prodigy]

You know...what the Fuck was I thinking.... I'll still chill with her, but no dirty shit. If she makes move, well I don't know. It will be hard to turn off the charm. But hey, most of my friends are female anyway. I have no issues spending time with them. Then again, most of them aren't single either. I'm not tempted to make moves an woman who is taken. Still, I really like my GF. She's a great girl. I'm sure I won't initiate anything too stupid to tarnish our relationship or be considered a jerk. Still, as exciting as this is...it bothers, me a bit. Why have I started thinking this easy...

Sounds like you've already made up your mind.

But in case you haven't, think about it this way: if you're just hanging out with a girl without the intention of going beyond that, then you should have no qualms about telling your girlfriend what you're doing. Put yourself in her shoes.

[EXGN]

You know...what the Fuck was I thinking.... I'll still chill with her, but no dirty shit. If she makes move, well I don't know. It will be hard to turn off the charm. But hey, most of my friends are female anyway. I have no issues spending time with them. Then again, most of them aren't single either. I'm not tempted to make moves an woman who is taken. Still, I really like my GF. She's a great girl. I'm sure I won't initiate anything too stupid to tarnish our relationship or be considered a jerk. Still, as exciting as this is...it bothers, me a bit. Why have I started thinking this easy...

Jesus man, why even put yourself in that situation then? You aren't hurting anyone by saying you don't wanna hang out one-on-one because you have a girlfriend now. This has nothing to do with being friends with girls and everything to do with your inability to turn down an advance. If she makes a move, say no or don't put yourself in that position to begin with.

[-PXG-]

Oh I will tell my gf that I'm having out. She already knows that my friends are female and that I like to flirt.

[Bucket-o-roadkill]

Sounds like completely ignoring someone is a totally cool way to be these days, guess I was wrong! Silly me, no wonder I'm single! She was obviously chatting to another guy and dropped me like a stone, which was totally glossed over in responses to my post. If you're into someone and you really want to talk to them, time is made to do it. She was busy in previous weeks but still always made time to chat because she wanted to. That changed when I was no longer a priority. But hey, I'm probably wrong though, right. :)

[highluxury]

Sounds like completely ignoring someone is a totally cool way to be these days, guess I was wrong! Silly me, no wonder I'm single! She was obviously chatting to another guy and dropped me like a stone, which was totally glossed over in responses to my post. If you're into someone and you really want to talk to them, time is made to do it. She was busy in previous weeks but still always made time to chat because she wanted to. That changed when I was no longer a priority. But hey, I'm probably wrong though, right. :)

Are you assuming this? or is there anything that supports this other than "she wasnt talking to me whenever I wanted to"?

If anything you wouldve ended up being the girlfriend in that relationship if it ever developed into anything considering youre pretty dramatic. It seems like you lack patience or werent quick enough to make the right move.

Sorry to say it but you sound quite bitter, in a strange negative childish way.

Theres always two sides to a story. She may have already branded you as a friend and you just didnt see it.

[EXGN]

Sounds like completely ignoring someone is a totally cool way to be these days, guess I was wrong! Silly me, no wonder I'm single! She was obviously chatting to another guy and dropped me like a stone, which was totally glossed over in responses to my post. If you're into someone and you really want to talk to them, time is made to do it. She was busy in previous weeks but still always made time to chat because she wanted to. That changed when I was no longer a priority. But hey, I'm probably wrong though, right. :)

How long were you dating this girl? It sounded like you had just met her on Facebook.

Regardless, defriending/blocking a girl is a reactionary move which does nothing but offend people. If I were you, I would have simply forgotten about her and moved on. That way, if she wanted to pick things back up, then you could have made that call. Instead, she tried to contact you and found out you blocked her on Skype/FB, which created a needless controversy and definitely messed up any chances you had.

Assuming that she's seeing another dude simply because she hasn't been responsive is illogical. Yes, it's possible - but it's just as possible she's been going through family issues, rough patches in work, busy time in school, etc.

Unless you're married, I honestly don't think the mindset of "if you're into some and you want to talk to them, time is made to do it" holds up. Sorry, but if I'm going through a stressful period at work, I'm not gonna send cutesy text messages to some girl I'm seeing, I have other things I need to take care of.

[Branson]

So, maybe this is stupid, but its like $800, and its mine, so I said fuck it because of the recent revelations of the past 2 days. Anyway I text my ex about the money she owes me, i said: "You still owe me money. I want it paid back to me." and she ACTUALLY responded and said "I know that. I will pay it back". Said: "Ok. Thanks." She said: "No problem".

Im only saying thanks so that I can actually get it back. After that I'll tell her I know about her cheating, etc. And tell her to not contact me.

[The Albatross]

I disagree with the thread title that says, 'not being a nice guy,' mostly because I find that the people who complain that they are "nice guys" and don't get girls are jealous, guilt-tripping assholes who think that they are entitled to date the girl/guy they like... and are very much not 'nice guys.'

[The Anti-Monitor]

I disagree with the thread title that says, 'not being a nice guy,' mostly because I find that the people who complain that they are "nice guys" and don't get girls are jealous, guilt-tripping assholes who think that they are entitled to date the girl/guy they like... and are very much not 'nice guys.'

Thus the quotes.

[Xun]

Your avatar makes me laugh if that helps at all. Need some goals, friend. I've been depressed a lot lately and I think it's for lack of some clear goals and challenges in my life.

Ha, thanks I guess! :P

I'm always making goals, I'm just torn on whether or not I want to stay in my career choice.

Xun, I'm getting close to looking up flights to London just to show you a good time. What exactly feels awful? That you're not meeting women? Or that you just don't feel like you're making any progress self-improvement wise? It's one thing to tell yourself you're going out without any intentions, it's another thing to actually do it. It can be hard to distinguish between the two. Sometimes, I find that being spontaneous really helps to rid myself of expectations. It gives you less time to over-think the night and more time to just go with the flow. Maybe that's what you need? Also, would you consider your circle of friends to be a good group of people? Maybe you need to try hanging around others? Just some thoughts. Regardless, I hope things pick up for you soon. You seem like a cool dude, based off your posts.

Go for it. ;)

Although I'd like to meet some girls, I'm more focused on branching my friends out a bit. That's honestly what I'm aiming to do at the moment, but it isn't easy.

I have a few good friends I'm very grateful to have, but things would certainly be easier with a slightly larger group of close friends to go out with.

Spontaneity could certainly help, but my friends aren't really that spontaneous. Having said that though, I did have a rather spontaneous (and regrettable) experience the other night...

Dude, I read about your fear about getting a full time job in the Unemployed thread. I completely understand your sentiments (my oldest brother has the same fear too; hell, we all have that fear) about not having time to do anything as well as trying to look for contractual work. You seem to be a nice guy to echo what luckyboyceo said, but you have insecurities about life (like everyone does including myself). Don't ever feel sorry for yourself; that's a mistake that a lot of Negative Nancy's in this thread make. I also know you want to start band. So what I think you should do is post a couple of realistic goals (e.g. start a band, get into the gym, network with animators in London, host another London GAF meet up, etc.) in the Summer Goals thread by MasterMilk and aspire to do all of them by the end of the summer (give yourself a deadline). I posted my summer goals last year in the thread and did almost all of them (e.g. met up with one chick from Okcupid); it felt pretty satisfying. I'm planning on doing it again and posting my goals soon. Also, I think you should host another London GAF meet up or at least make that another summer goal like I mentioned above. You guys all looked like you had a great time at the last one (again, Namco Land>>>Coney Island/Luna Park; I've never been to Luna Park, but still), so it would do you some good to host another one. The best thing about meeting Gaffers is that you could potentially make some really good friends and network with people. Regarding the women situation, don't talk to women with the expectation of getting their number at the end of a conversation, do it for practice. Soultron mentioned a great exercise about talking to women just talk to them and then if you find her interesting, then go for her number. I've been doing the same exact execersise myself; I talk to women just to talk to them and to practice. So you can do it man. Get rid of the negativity; it's not gonna help you in the long run and it's only going to destroy your self-esteem/confidence. Positivity is the name of the game as this thread suggests.

Good advice.

In regards to speaking with girls, I can't even do that. That's my problem. I solely want to learn how to initiate conversations with people (not just girls), but then my body essentially goes into shutdown. However I am starting to open up a bit thanks to many things Cubsfan23 suggested, but I feel a lot of what I struggle with is far more complex.

Also I've been planning to host another London-GAF meetup, but I'm just trying to get some stuff sorted out first.

It certainly isn't easy organising something like it, but it was a blast.

I hate the bar scene and maybe it isn't for you either. Do something you -enjoy-. If you're coming home feeling awful it's probably not something you enjoy. You have an idea in your head of what you want, but that's -wanting-...

I actually enjoy bars a lot, I just guess my brain latched onto a negative thought that night with the alcohol.

Outside of bars I still aim to go to some classes, but I'm putting that on the back burner for a while until I get some of my shit together first.

Its the alcohol. Alcohol contains some depressive chemicals which cause bad consciousness, guilt, regret and so forth. Its normal to feel down after some heavy drinking. But keep doing what youre doing. Going out with no intentions is a good way to expand your horizons. I'd recomend - if youre up for it - for you to bring your guitar with you when its sunny weather, go to the inner city or a park, relax on a bench, practice and get inspired while just meditating in peace in an open space. It'll clear your mind and break your comfort zone/threshold even further. It should be good for you. I do it myself, but replace the guitar with a sketchbook and pencil and its practically the same thing.

I wouldn't mind taking my guitar with me where I go sometimes, and just chill out and play some music. Fact, I may even do that tomorrow.

Alternatively I could very much do what you do and just sketch.

I thought i was the only one who felt like this. Walking around manhattan durring the summer doesn't help things. Seeing all these girls and woman who i have yet to even kiss is just fucking sad. Both you and Xun need to focus on stablising your lives first, before you start focusing on those issues. You get too hooked up on finding somebody right away when the roots of conflict mostly lie within yourselves right now. In other words, work on straightening out your "inner game" first.

I know, and I agree.

I'm honestly not looking for anyone at the moment, I just get frustrated with my brain having an almost instinctual fear of introducing myself to new people (especially to women). This is the biggest hurdle I need to pass.

I was starting to get better and more open in the 2nd year of college, but as I've mentioned something happened to me at the end of that year which shattered my confidence completely (in everything).

Also I've said it before, but I'm not even looking for anything that serious at the moment. I just want a bit of fun, not only because of my lack of experience, but also because I'd rather not deal with someone like a girlfriend at the moment.

[Tess3ract]

I've always thought "morality" was bullshit term. Very few things are black and white. Most things are circumstantial. In this case...ugh....If I go out on Friday and strictly make it platonic, then no harm done.

You going out on friday and making it platonic wont work. Believe me, you'll see her and suddenly your clothes will be on the floor and her legs around your waist before you know it.

Your only options, are:

1. fuck this other girl, feel guilty about it
2. dump your girl, fuck other girl, not get to have either most likely
3. not fuck girl, feel bad you missed out on a chance

The fact that this other girl lit your fire sends other signals. Hows your relationship with your current gf? Maybe instead you should try spicing up what you already have, if it's worth it to you.

as for open/closed relationships, I can't do open relationships. I get mad jealous, like I'm just being used, or there's something missing that I should be doing, otherwise she wouldn't want to fuck other guys. I can't deal.

[Glorified G]

So, maybe this is stupid, but its like $800, and its mine, so I said fuck it because of the recent revelations of the past 2 days. Anyway I text my ex about the money she owes me, i said: "You still owe me money. I want it paid back to me." and she ACTUALLY responded and said "I know that. I will pay it back". Said: "Ok. Thanks." She said: "No problem". Im only saying thanks so that I can actually get it back. After that I'll tell her I know about her cheating, etc. And tell her to not contact me.

Just in case she doesn't pay you back, and you REALLY want your money back. Save those texts and use it as proof in small claims court. That's pretty much all you need as proof.

[shintoki]

Just saying you want to fuck other women, probably makes you less of an ass than giving excuses and trying to rationalize it. Heh.

[grumble]

So, maybe this is stupid, but its like $800, and its mine, so I said fuck it because of the recent revelations of the past 2 days. Anyway I text my ex about the money she owes me, i said: "You still owe me money. I want it paid back to me." and she ACTUALLY responded and said "I know that. I will pay it back". Said: "Ok. Thanks." She said: "No problem". Im only saying thanks so that I can actually get it back. After that I'll tell her I know about her cheating, etc. And tell her to not contact me.

Dude, you ALREADY broke up with her. Who cares what she did now? Just remove her from your life, no need to harangue her about past wrongs or you'll just be petty.

[Branson]

Dude, you ALREADY broke up with her. Who cares what she did now? Just remove her from your life, no need to harangue her about past wrongs or you'll just be petty.

That was the only thing that was keeping her from breaking up with me for 6 months, so of course I'm going to get my damn money back. lol. I could use it now.

[Attackthebase]

Oh I will tell my gf that I'm having out. She already knows that my friends are female and that I like to flirt.

Like I said, hanging with other women is fine (and even flirting/playful is fine too), the problem happens if you have any form of sexual interactions with your lady friends.

[Log4Girlz]

That was the only thing that was keeping her from breaking up with me for 6 months, so of course I'm going to get my damn money back. lol. I could use it now.

I don't think you're going to see that money any time soon.

[luckyboyceo]

You going out on friday and making it platonic wont work. Believe me, you'll see her and suddenly your clothes will be on the floor and her legs around your waist before you know it. Your only options, are: 1. fuck this other girl, feel guilty about it 2. dump your girl, fuck other girl, not get to have either most likely 3. not fuck girl, feel bad you missed out on a chance The fact that this other girl lit your fire sends other signals. Hows your relationship with your current gf? Maybe instead you should try spicing up what you already have, if it's worth it to you.

This is pretty much spot on.

[Branson]

So, what do you guys that have been hurt recently, or whatever, do at night when you are in bed or just don't have anyone around and are just laying around watching tv, do to keep your mind from wandering back to the breakup, etc? I find that the time when I'm trying to go to sleep the worst time for me. It's dark, quiet, nothing but me and my mind.

[hawkshockey11]

So, what do you guys that have been hurt recently, or whatever, do at night when you are in bed or just don't have anyone around and are just laying around watching tv, do to keep your mind from wandering back to the breakup, etc? I find that the time when I'm trying to go to sleep the worst time for me. It's dark, quiet, nothing but me and my mind.

Haven't had a worse night than the one right after the break-up. I fell asleep fine after that but the worst was the dreaming about her and then waking up thinking about her. That shit was not cool.

[Branson]

Haven't had a worse night than the one right after the break-up. I fell asleep fine after that but the worst was the dreaming about her and then waking up thinking about her. That shit was not cool.

Yeah. Last night was bad sleeping wise for me. No one is here tonight so I can't just talk to anyone. I hate my dreams too about things. Waking up and falling asleep is kind of hard now a days.

[highluxury]

How long were you dating this girl? It sounded like you had just met her on Facebook. Regardless, defriending/blocking a girl is a reactionary move which does nothing but offend people. If I were you, I would have simply forgotten about her and moved on. That way, if she wanted to pick things back up, then you could have made that call. Instead, she tried to contact you and found out you blocked her on Skype/FB, which created a needless controversy and definitely messed up any chances you had. Assuming that she's seeing another dude simply because she hasn't been responsive is illogical. Yes, it's possible - but it's just as possible she's been going through family issues, rough patches in work, busy time in school, etc. Unless you're married, I honestly don't think the mindset of "if you're into some and you want to talk to them, time is made to do it" holds up. Sorry, but if I'm going through a stressful period at work, I'm not gonna send cutesy text messages to some girl I'm seeing, I have other things I need to take care of.

Word.

Glad Im never gonna get married, I'll probably live with my life partner when it comes down to it, but without unnecessary complications.

I wouldn't mind taking my guitar with me where I go sometimes, and just chill out and play some music. Fact, I may even do that tomorrow. Alternatively I could very much do what you do and just sketch.

Sweet. Rock on!

Always glad to read someone picking an interest in drawing :)

I always carry around a large sketch book around, when Im off and at work. Draw what ever you imagine regardless of how silly it is.

[AdventureRacing]

So, what do you guys that have been hurt recently, or whatever, do at night when you are in bed or just don't have anyone around and are just laying around watching tv, do to keep your mind from wandering back to the breakup, etc? I find that the time when I'm trying to go to sleep the worst time for me. It's dark, quiet, nothing but me and my mind.

I just keep myself busy during the day (gym, study, reading whatever). I don't go to bed until fairly late and because i have done so much during the day it's easy to fall asleep. I tend to have the same problem as you where my mind wanders at night so i have to do this (this was a problem of me regardless of the break up).

[Xun]

Sweet. Rock on! Always glad to read someone picking an interest in drawing :) I always carry around a large sketch book around, when Im off and at work. Draw what ever you imagine regardless of how silly it is.

I used to draw a lot, and back in my school days I was considered about 5 years above everyone else in skill.

Considering I'm an animator I don't draw as much as I'd like to, so I should really start doing it again.

I think the reason I've held off from doing it for so long is because every time I return, I'm a shadow of my former self.

But anyway, I best not divert the conversation. :P

[Log4Girlz]

I used to draw a lot, and back in my school days I was considered about 5 years above everyone else in skill. Considering I'm an animator I don't draw as much as I'd like to, so I should really start doing it again. I think the reason I've held off from doing it for so long is because every time I return, I'm a shadow of my former self. But anyway, I best not divert the conversation. :P

Damn this reminds me...I have to get back into drawing.

[-PXG-]

You going out on friday and making it platonic wont work. Believe me, you'll see her and suddenly your clothes will be on the floor and her legs around your waist before you know it. Your only options, are: 1. fuck this other girl, feel guilty about it 2. dump your girl, fuck other girl, not get to have either most likely 3. not fuck girl, feel bad you missed out on a chance The fact that this other girl lit your fire sends other signals. Hows your relationship with your current gf? Maybe instead you should try spicing up what you already have, if it's worth it to you. as for open/closed relationships, I can't do open relationships. I get mad jealous, like I'm just being used, or there's something missing that I should be doing, otherwise she wouldn't want to fuck other guys. I can't deal.

Things are good with my gf. I don't know I even started thinking this way. Oh well.

I joke to a close friend of mine that I might have a slight addiction to women.

[ZombieFred]

Things are good with my gf. I don't know I even started thinking this way. Oh well. I joke to a close friend of mine that I might have a slight addiction to women.

If that's how you feel and can't control yourself then it's unfair to the girl you are with. Don't be a bad person and think on her feelings or if you was in her shoes and how you would react finding how she went behind your back and just had sex with other guys because "she couldn't help herself". How do you think your pride/persona would feel then.
Don't go down that path man :(

[Smelly Tramp]

Yeh so i'm not mad any more. I'm gonna leave it about a week and just have a nice friendly chat with her.

Cause the truth is, even though she kissed another man and that is a horrible thing, and obviously she is still in the wrong and a bad person for it, i wasn't exactly being the "nice guy" that i thought i was being.

Due to having no money, we'd go out, have a few drinks, and then i'd never want to stay around, i'd want to just go to her place to save money on further drinks, fuck her senseless, and then go to sleep. In one of her messages she complained that all we did was lay around and have sex, and she was tired of just having sex and wanted to go out and do exciting things.

I was also a grumpy bastard, told her i hated everyone, hated most of her friends, and told her i hated the general public! I mean how bad is that? still haven't forgiven her for what she did, she should have broken up with me before doing something like that.

But i honestly can't blame her for breaking up with me.

So i'm going to be more positive from now on, stop drinking this bottle of whiskey, stop hating the world and everyone in it. Get myself a job, money, and a car, enjoy my summer.

And well, like i said after all of this has been sorted, if i still want her back i will take her back. And if she's seeing someone else by the time i've achieved all of this. Well fuck her then, i'll find someone else.

Today is a good day :)

[highluxury]

I used to draw a lot, and back in my school days I was considered about 5 years above everyone else in skill. Considering I'm an animator I don't draw as much as I'd like to, so I should really start doing it again. I think the reason I've held off from doing it for so long is because every time I return, I'm a shadow of my former self. But anyway, I best not divert the conversation. :P

I love art. But do it. Go for it. :)

Its awesome drawing out in the open. You'll attract some attention too. I've had alot of times people coming by glancing over what Im drawing, looking over my shoulder or even stopping up and looking. Its like exhibiting indirect communication.

Damn this reminds me...I have to get back into drawing.

You both should. I'd like to advise other people in this thread to do so aswell.

[Johnlenham]

yeh so we met on mutual terms. i proposed we'd go on a break this summer, she agreed. we still love each other very much, she said she'd take this summer to improve herself for me, but i'm not holding out. i'm going to a festival in spain in 6 weeks, we have our own villa and i know girls will be easy pickings, especially with me being the best looking out of the group of 5 guys i'm going with. needless to say, i'm single this summer. and i plan to screw as many girls as possible. if i still want her after summer, well then i can have her. the ball is firmly in my court. i'll see how i feel after experimenting. i know i can't expect her not to do the same. we shall see.

I dont know if anyones said it already but you seem very err niave.
To think someone wouldnt change over the course of two years, while at uni which is arguably when most people go through some pretty mental changes is quite bizzare.

Im a very diffrent person to what I was two years ago and two years before that I was very diffrent and so on. Its the people that dont change you should be concerned with imo.

Yeah she did wrong getting on some guy but everything else is just Life.
Cant be all ridgid with rules and how "she used to be" as that could very well be her reasoning for cheating "He used to be fun but now hes a bore and allways ignores me" or whatever.

Just thought it was worth mentioning..

Edit: missed your post. Atleast you seem to understand its noyt allways so one sided with stuff and you can make a concious effort to improve.

[Branson]

If that's how you feel and can't control yourself then it's unfair to the girl you are with. Don't be a bad person and think on her feelings or if you was in her shoes and how you would react finding how she went behind your back and just had sex with other guys because "she couldn't help herself". How do you think your pride/persona would feel then. Don't go down that path man :(

I know how that feels, to be the victim here. ;(. Shit is still surprising me.

But in all honesty it made me realize she needs to not even exist in my mind anymore. She's not worth taking over my brain like she has. Even though that has been hard to flush out. That's why I hate the dark and alone time at night. My mind wanders to that place I hate.

[shanshan310]

Due to having no money, we'd go out, have a few drinks, and then i'd never want to stay around, i'd want to just go to her place to save money on further drinks, fuck her senseless, and then go to sleep. In one of her messages she complained that all we did was lay around and have sex, and she was tired of just having sex and wanted to go out and do exciting things.

To be fair, this isn't your fault. You're a full time student - of course you have no money. Its not right to expect you to go out and spend money you don't have. I say this as someone who made similar complaints to her boyfriend around this time last year.

[Smelly Tramp]

To be fair, this isn't your fault. You're a full time student - of course you have no money. Its not right to expect you to go out and spend money you don't have. I say this as someone who made similar complaints to her boyfriend around this time last year.

I know but, she was on placement in london, surrounded by guys with fat pay cheques. and i obviously couldn't compete.

not everyone is that understanding i guess.

oh fuck, plus she still owes me 22 quid, it's the ebay fee for selling her phone for her. which i did DURING my exam period.

[Xun]

I love art. But do it. Go for it. :) Its awesome drawing out in the open. You'll attract some attention too. I've had alot of times people coming by glancing over what Im drawing, looking over my shoulder or even stopping up and looking. Its like exhibiting indirect communication.

Yeah, it's definitely something I've got to start up again.

Off-topic but it pisses me how my friend is sometimes. We got in an argument earlier at the pub over art (coincidentally), and he always talks over me as if I'm wrong all the time with anything. He talks as if he knows what he's on about, even if he doesn't.

The amount of bullshit he spouts is unbelievable, and it really doesn't matter what we're on about. He always goes on about how he doesn't know anyone, and how difficult things are for him. When in reality he's the type of guy who just has people constantly come up to him, and here I am just invisible all the time. I'm even putting myself out there more (I've got a more positive mindset now, believe it or not), but the amount of interest people take in me is small.

Whether or not he was joking, he was saying how much he wants female company, and was saying it as if I should feel sorry for him. But considering he's been out with a shitload of girls before, and I haven't, his attitude pisses me off. Even today he was telling me how he went out with some girl yesterday with a few other mates (who I also know), and yet he didn't invite me. Considering I'm good friends with him (despite me talking shit about him), it really fucking hurts.

Anyway, no idea why I'm posting this here, but I just needed to get that out of my system.

[grumble]

Yeah, it's definitely something I've got to start up again. Off-topic but it pisses me how my friend is sometimes. We got in an argument earlier at the pub over art (coincidentally), and he always talks over me as if I'm wrong all the time with anything. He talks as if he knows what he's on about, even if he doesn't. The amount of bullshit he spouts is unbelievable, and it really doesn't matter what we're on about. He always goes on about how he doesn't know anyone, and how difficult things are for him. When in reality he's the type of guy who just has people constantly come up to him, and here I am just invisible all the time. I'm even putting myself out there more (I've got a more positive mindset now, believe it or not), but the amount of interest people take in me is small. Whether or not he was joking, he was saying how much he wants female company, and was saying it as if I should feel sorry for him. But considering he's been out with a shitload of girls before, and I haven't, his attitude pisses me off. Even today he was telling me how he went out with some girl yesterday with a few other mates (who I also know), and yet he didn't invite me. Considering I'm good friends with him (despite me talking shit about him), it really fucking hurts. Anyway, no idea why I'm posting this here, but I just needed to get that out of my system.

If your friends are making you feel like shit, get new friends.

[Smelly Tramp]

But considering he's been out with a shitload of girls before, and I haven't, his attitude pisses me off. Even today he was telling me how he went out with some girl yesterday with a few other mates (who I also know), and yet he didn't invite me. Considering I'm good friends with him (despite me talking shit about him), it really fucking hurts.

Mate you have to consider that not all people that have had lots of girls are happy. I'm the same, more girls does not equal happiness.

if he's constantly talking over you though he sounds like a bit of a dick head, and well, you should ask him for an invite if you really want to. If he denies? well then he's just a bad friend.