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Member
(06-17-2012, 05:19 PM)
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I know - or rather knew - a few coaches. It infuriates me how some of them have turned simple advice/tricks/ideas into a business. And there's hundreds of crash courses in women these days. Its fucking disgusting, its basically daylight robbery. The seduction community wasnt like this prior to 2003' or even before, untill The Game became a hit. Whilst I wasnt part of it back then, I did participate in some activity/events. Back in the good old days it was more private, luxurious and exclusive. I entered it, back when it was progressing from the unknown, into the mainstream phase. Now its pretty much worthless, abused and quick-cash scheme for the experienced and professionals. Whats worse I still see or hear about chumps who dive into it head first. Its worse than those guys who dont know jackshit about how to attract women. |
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Member
(06-17-2012, 05:52 PM)
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Does anyone else have the problem of being to tired/bored to pick up women? I'm very confident and I look allright, but in general it's like I can't be excited or happy for anything - much less muster up the energy to hit on girls. I've tried to rectify this by excercising regularily, cutting down on porn-consumption, eating good food, doing stuff with friends etc, but it's like the spark has gone out.
Has anyone here experienced this? Could it be a sign of a depression of some kind? |
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Member
(06-17-2012, 06:49 PM)
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To avoid going crazy over the little things, I would try to work around the assumption that these things never mean what we hope they don't, you know? :) It's usually true anyway. Then you'll feel like an idiot for worrying over something really obscure and perhaps even laugh at it later on :)
I talked to the woman today who hurt me so bad a year ago. Did some bantering and chatting over facebook on a mutual friend's wall. I didn't initiate anything and it was friendly enough. Felt pretty good and I'm not phazed by it at all. Of course, I still hate her guts on some level but I wouldn't be where I am today or be who I am if it wasn't for her so it's all good :) As far as I know, she has moved in with her boyfriend somewhere and that's good for them, I couldn't care less about that. My life has never been better ^^ |
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Member
(06-17-2012, 07:14 PM)
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Either you actually stop thinking too much about it (i.e. stop the FB stalking), or you acknowledge that you actually do care and work on caring less. |
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Member
(06-17-2012, 08:28 PM)
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About a week ago my girlfriend of almost two years broke up with me. Long story short, she had been bottling whatever frustrations up until it exploded in this cavalcade of bullshit. This is sort of a thing that has gone on every once in a while throughout the relationship. I peg it up as her not being able to communicate. Almost all our fights were about her spending, what I thought was, way too much time with her best friend. Her best friend is a guy, who she dated for a month in high school. Well, at first I was okay with it, as my best friend is a girl, but then she mentioned that one of their mutual friends said that he still loved her or had strong feelings for her. Around that time she spent the night there, at his parents house, and didn't text or call me about it before hand. I flipped out, obviously and told her to call me to pick her up in situations where she went out drinking and couldn't drive home, that's what boyfriends are for. So that shit stopped. Skip about a month or two ahead and we were spending very little time together (opposite schedules and all that) and after work she would go right to hang out with him and some other friends, usually coming home at like 2:30 in the morning. Well, we had another discussion about how we're not spending much time together, and she tried to say that I would sit on my computer when we had days off together. Honestly, just avoiding the real issue of it all. The day after that I was on my computer and she flipped and left. A few days later, the breakup.
I should also mention that we have lived together for almost a year in our apartment. Whatever, basically she felt our relationship wasn't worth working through, even after I continually suggested different ways to try and sort our problems out bit by bit, so I had a bad week and I'm pretty much over it (plus, she hasn't slept here for 4 nights in a row). Last night I made an account on OKCupid and so far, 99% of the girls on there are hambeasts, obvious crazies, religious fanatics, or generally someone I don't find appealing. I'm thinking perhaps in a month or something I'll have some sort of manic depressive breakdown when this all really hits me or something, but for now, I'm coping. I really thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with this girl, because if we could have just made some breakthrough in communication this could have all been sorted out, but she's a few years younger than me, selfish in a lot of ways, and can't stand to be controlled in the slightest (disregarding the fact that we were in a "serious" relationship, living together, etc.) by just the fact that I suggested that the time spent with her friend and me were disproportionate. I've probably left a lot out, but frankly that's not the important part, what I'm mostly getting at is this: Am I trying to jump back into dating too soon? Going about it the wrong way? I plan on going back to school come fall, so hopefully I'll have better chances with girls then, or perhaps hunker down and focus on school. |
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Member
(06-17-2012, 08:40 PM)
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Alright, a question of my own then for once. So I met this cute 19 year old about five weeks go. She texted me two weeks later and wanted to see me. We ended up at different clubs due to our age difference but met up afterwards. She came home with me, we fooled around, with our clothes on mind you, for 3-4 hours maybe, before she really had to go home (I assume due to parents worrying). This was three weeks ago and I haven't heard a peep since. What's up with that? xD I did ask her jokingly by the end if it would take another two weeks until we could see each other again and she said that it would probably end up like that because of her finishing high school (or equivalent), which was a week ago. I got the feeling that she wanted to spend the night but genuinely couldn't and I was a gentleman about it and didn't try to force anything whatsoever. I'm writing it down as just an age thing at this point and her being a shy person and possibly very inexperienced. Still weird though, as it's something completely new to me. |
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Member
(06-17-2012, 08:55 PM)
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In the end it just takes time. Some days you might feel alright. Others you'll be down in the dumps and miss her terribly. I suppose it's up to you when you feel the timing is right to put yourself back out there. We're human beings after all - we desire companionship. I've been forcing myself to go to the gym every single day. No matter what happens, at least I can hope to look / feel better about myself. |
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Member
(06-17-2012, 09:02 PM)
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Unicorn and bjb I will say that it will take a while for your feelings to patch up after long term relationships but you have can be grateful to learn some good lessons and experiences that will make you better people and have more desire in life since of new motivations and desires to improve yourself and seek other areas you might have not considered when you was in a relationship. You guys will be fine and I will say this importantly on think twice on what makes you really happy and what YOU really need and what will make you much better on appreciating what you can do in life more.
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Member
(06-17-2012, 09:36 PM)
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Member
(06-17-2012, 10:35 PM)
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but the day after: the hangover, the depression. my god, the amount of times i've grabbed the phone to send a message and then stopped myself. ugh, those days are the worst. had a chat with my ex (broke up 3 weeks ago) tonight. we were just having a nice chat about what we've been doing with our lives, she drops the bomb that she had a date last week (2 weeks after the break-up, where's the respect?) and i was like "oh you've moved on fast" and she replied "rebound date, i've done it before". she said she just needed to be taken out, wined and dined and not have to pay for it. like she was entitled to it or something after cheating on me (what high horse did she ride in on?). then i mentioned that my job search was going well and i've been having a good time, and that it's quite likely i might have a career job lined up and she said she's free in july and it might be a good idea to meet up. i said, hmmm we'll see. what a coincidence as soon as i might be getting a job she's interested in meeting up. so now i've come to the realisation that she's a gold-digger, and that i may have dodged a bullet here. also the whole concept of the rebound thing confounds me. can't get over a break-up, so you string another guy along, and then he falls for you and then you cut him off and break his heart? she's becoming quite the maneater. BULLET DODGED. |
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Member
(06-17-2012, 10:46 PM)
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How old is she? My gf's younger sister did that shit, and now I refuse to see anyone younger than 21. Get that drinking, immature party attitude the FUCK out of your system. I'm not here to play around with some Jersey Shore vapid drama.
Also, I don't know if my gf is seeing anyone else, but man was she able to switch her feelings off for me fast. Probably a 2 day transition for her. Helped make my healing process a bit easier. Still fucking hurts, after all those empty promises |
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Member
(06-17-2012, 10:53 PM)
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Personally I don't think I would be able to get back together with someone given the situation you've described. The cheating while still "together" would leave a lot of lingering doubts in my head.
I broke up with my girl, and she (as I've recently learned) had sex with a guy that same night. Despite the fact I had broken us up - it still hurt badly. It's ironic though. Different people, different circumstances entirely, yet in the end we're all just trying to deal with the pain. |
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Member
(06-17-2012, 10:58 PM)
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but come October time she'll be back at uni, in the muck with the poor students. and i'll be working, and saving fat stacks as i'll be living at home and won't have to pay rent, hopefully in a career related job if this things pans out (it's not for certain yet), and oh how the tables will have turned. yeh the last time we spoke on the phone (2 weeks ago, 1 week after the break-up) she said she still loved me etc. this time she said "she cares about me". lmao 2 weeks to fall out of love? my god, this girl. i'm not even angry any more, just bewildered by the whole thing. can't believe i didn't see how fickle she was sooner. and btw dude she might not be seeing someone else but she's probably been on a date. these girls move on fast man. |
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Member
(06-17-2012, 11:33 PM)
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Ha, you're not wrong. To be fair, in my feeble defense, it came on up on my feed rather than me stalking to find out the info... but your point of me perhaps caring too much is still true regardless. I've cooled things and not spoken to her over the weekend, the ball was in her court in terms of replying to me. I'll just see how it goes through the week and speak to her if she initiates anything, but I don't want to be 'that guy' hanging on for dear life if she's got her eye on someone else. |
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Junior Member
(06-18-2012, 02:45 AM)
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She basically couldn't wait to get out of there. I was telling her all these good things, about how like I learned a lot and really addressed issues about myself and that I was doing better than ever, and it was like something she didn't want to hear or whatever. I get to the point where I tell her how I still feel about things and she's like nope nope nope. Which honestly is fine, but she was so cold and almost resentful. It really took me by surprise. At the end I was like well at least I hope we can be friends at some point, and all she could muster was a maybe. I finished my speech and then she was outta there, I don't even think she said bye. Like, it's well and truly over and that's fine, but man that was really not behavior I was expecting. Is that normal? |
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Member
(06-18-2012, 03:16 AM)
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Guys, I'm not in-love with my girlfriend's friend, but I've been lusting after her for almost 2 years (the three of us used to be in the same social circle). I don't even see her personally anymore and she and I aren't on speaking terms but I've been borderline stalking her on twitter/fb/her blog for a long time now. God damn it, I can't shake this off.
I don't really know what to do. Help me GAF.
Last edited by Hydrogen Bluebird; 06-18-2012 at 04:06 AM.
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Junior Member
(06-18-2012, 03:42 AM)
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Women will find it harder than men the first few days, but they can forget all that stuff within a month. I don't think it has anything to do with "respect", more like biological stuff.
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Member
(06-18-2012, 03:49 AM)
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I don't think being on a dating site is something to be ashamed of. It's a different environment that caters towards people looking for something specific. I like it because I get a good glimpse of who a person really is without the typical pleasantries that we usually have to engage in in-person before getting to the interesting stuff.
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Member
(06-18-2012, 05:39 AM)
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Member
(06-18-2012, 05:47 AM)
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Well, I apparently do not smile right then, because I give off more of a "Jesus God run holy shit" vibe than a "come hither" vibe. :( |
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Member
(06-18-2012, 06:16 AM)
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And unless your personality changes drastically when you aren't on GAF, then I wouldn't think you have a bad personality either. So what's the deal? You had to have had "friends" or something throughout your school years that fed into this insecurity in some way. And again, not every guy you meet will expect or even pressure you to do anything intimate until you are ready to do so. So if you meet someone you like, try to relax and be yourself around them and everything will fall into place simply based on that. If they try to make a move and you aren't comfortable simply explain that you aren't ready and you'd like to get to know them better first. |
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Member
(06-18-2012, 06:24 AM)
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I dunno, I'd always make "first" friends when starting school and they'd abandon me and I'd find my real friends. I still speak to my good friends from elementary, and my good high school friends are my world. This is just how I am. I hate myself and I can't stop. I dunno. I had guys in high school call me fat to my face, ugly to my face. But that's high school, people are assholes. I've only gone out with one guy, who was perfectly nice, but he didn't want to go on a second. So. One date. lol. Otherwise, OKC guys just message me with "HEY LETS MEET FOR SEX?!?!?" and that's that. No one is particularly nice or normal that I've met on there. But OKC is the only place that men even want to talk to me, so... I have the option of eternal loneliness or meet a strange internet man for a one night stand, cause I guess that's all I'm good for lol. I dunno anymore. </tl;dr, sorry.> |
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I recently went to my friends house to check out his wii. I was generally impressed. It was larger than I expected though.
(06-18-2012, 06:38 AM)
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I searched for pics on teh googlez that you've posted on GAF (oh dear god that felt stalkerish) but seriously, you look fine. I can't really make an assessment of your personality from these posts, but hey you post on GAF, you're doing something right in my book :P
Last edited by Log4Girlz; 06-18-2012 at 06:49 AM.
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I recently went to my friends house to check out his wii. I was generally impressed. It was larger than I expected though.
(06-18-2012, 07:01 AM)
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If there is one thing I've learned is that truly, no one is a unique snowflake. I won't be the only person who feels this way. I'm sorry its hard for you to find someone, but you will. Shoot, you may meet a gaffer, look at Time Dog and Blame Space...I mean Devolution. Or perhaps someone else with similar interests and tastes.
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I recently went to my friends house to check out his wii. I was generally impressed. It was larger than I expected though.
(06-18-2012, 07:07 AM)
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Member
(06-18-2012, 07:08 AM)
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Welp, just found a girl on OKC where we agree on just about everything and we've been messaging back and forth. She's attractive and we have a lot in common, but she's an hour away. Worth it.
Thing is, I'm worried I'm getting into this too fast, considering my lease with my ex isn't up until Sept. |
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I recently went to my friends house to check out his wii. I was generally impressed. It was larger than I expected though.
(06-18-2012, 07:18 AM)
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Member
(06-18-2012, 11:11 AM)
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We have almost had huge arguments out of it as I think its a scummy thing to do. Treating people like meal tickets "I cant afford to go on dates but they can" I have no idea how they come to that conclusion. I mean if I was in london on their wage id be in that boat and they would expect me to pay? Jog on! Id never go on dates if all the women expected me to drop £50+ on a meal. Also its fairly easy for them to throw themselves at men for half hour or so and get free drinks or even other things and then just bail once theyve got it. Thankfully other girls I am friends with think that kind of attitude is all kinds of wrong and pay there own way. Saying that the guys are mugs for falling for it so easily, that should be drilled into all men. I get women trying to snake me at the bar then start chatting to me expecting me to order drinks for them. Nope! point the barmen at them and walk off lol
Last edited by Johnlenham; 06-18-2012 at 11:13 AM.
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Member
(06-18-2012, 11:30 AM)
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Women can be so hypocritical and cruel, especially young women. I think that's the big factor in the break up tbh, she was just too immature for me. She changes her mind about loving me in 2 seconds, she changes her friends every year. She just has no loyalty to anyone and i can't believe i didn't see it sooner. The funny thing is i've had loads of attention from girls over these past 2 years, but have not done anything because i'm not a dirty cheat. Now i wish i would have! But maybe that's the wrong attitude to take... Currently trying to chat this other bird up on facebook who was well into me about a year ago, she seemed like she was still interested, blatantly flirting etc. thing is she's busy until july i think, but she seemed quite keen on coming down to where i live for a night out :) |
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Member
(06-18-2012, 11:50 AM)
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Well here's hoping this goes well. On Saturday night I was at a night club and this lovely beautiful red head come up to me and she suggested going back to my place and we did. We had a very fun and random night together and we talked a lot. She left Sunday morning and she gave me her number and said it was a very fun time and loved it. I've decided to text her to see if she is up for dating as I enjoyed the night and liked her character. Crazy how it was her that come up and suggested going back to my place and she was so damn good looking with that hair of hers. Keeping my expectations at low though as I am just going with the flow.
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Member
(06-18-2012, 01:20 PM)
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Is your OkCupid profile still up? PM it to me if it is. I'm a nice guy, but I have high standards for interesting profiles, so I'll see if there's anything you can do to improve it to attract people like me. You're going to get tons of shitty messages, but that's just something you'll have to deal with, unfortunately. Some guys think, "Wow, I'd love to get that many messages", but after reading what some guys send, I'm pretty sure they'd rather not. |
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Banned
(06-18-2012, 01:45 PM)
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The other day I was to deliver a letter at a government office. The door was locked so I knocked and waited. After a few minutes a middle aged woman opened the door, and upon seeing me, she screamed in shock, almost falling off her feet.
Even though I had knocked on the door, alerting her to my presence... What the fuck. |
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Member
(06-18-2012, 02:35 PM)
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Hahah yeah I'm sure it was horrible :)
Leeness: I found a picture of you from April and I too don't understand where the problem comes from :) My first thought was Ellen Page but more mature (she hardly looks like 25). It would seem that GAF really dig your looks and personality too. From what I've noticed in here, the only thing that truly sticks out in a bad way is how you put yourself down ALL THE TIME. I understand where it comes from, I've been there too, but it's not very attractive at all, so you need to cut that shit out, period :) When you're down in a rut, it's really hard to get out sometimes, but it is possible. You really should change your story about how your life is. |
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Member
(06-18-2012, 03:22 PM)
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To save everyone the time trying to find pics of Leeness (I felt soo creepy)
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost...postcount=3585 http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost...postcount=2150 I have no idea what you are talking about. You are attractive as fuck (at least to me) Like what the poster above said, maybe have someone style your hair and that would put you well over the edge of hotness. Really like the smile. |