[Bagels]

well, I thought I could find help on this forum without depressing anyone. I guess tonight I called a bunch of relatives while under the influence.. not that I deserve their attention, anyway. I think I went out of my way to ruin some posters' nights; timedog and devolution reached out to me, but I guess I found a way to make myself not needed. Just wanted to apologize before i go

I'm always happy to talk, too. Don't ever be afraid to ask. If I'm busy, I'll let you know and we can schedule something for later. Are you another member of Minnesota-GAF? IF so...fist-bump?

[Bagels]

Hope you feel better soon man. I'd advise anyone who is regularly depressed to read a lot of fitness material, the fundamentals of diet and exercise are the greatest cure for depression.

Diet and exercise are great for just about anything. However, in the case of depression, a) it's really hard to get motivated to exercise and b) the scientific literature only supports exercise as monotherapy for mild to moderate depression. It won't help enough (in most people) with severe depression. I know there's a tendency to rush to antidepressants at the first hint of depression on some doctors' part, but the drugs shouldn't be ruled out entirely because they're "not natural" or whatever (not trying to put words in your mouth - that's just what you hear a lot).

In any event, what we call "major depressive disorder" is probably actually a family of major depressive disorders . Each of these subtypes of depression may respond differently to different treatments. Calling exercise and diet "the greatest cure for depression" is just flat out wrong. For some forms of depression, they may be first-line therapies, or they may be used in combination with other treatments, but for many people, diet and exercise alone won't boost your mood enough.

[ssolitare]

Three connecting stories into one, ironically seems rather apt with my adaptation of tesseract (the intention was to use the name even though someone already had it) Can't you take classes you need at a community college and transfer them back to your college? Do it piece by piece then transfer it all over and be done with it? Or is it one of those colleges that only accept so many transfer credits? Fucking private colleges are the worst shit. Fuck em.

I would be able to transfer credits if the Community College had the classes that I needed.

The biggest CC in my region did not have the required courses because the engineering programs (save for construction) were built around transferring to a NC State University after 2 years. I should check again to see if the program offers senior level courses that I can take and transfer over, but I don't expect it to. If this did happen, would I be able to graduate? I'd have to ask their lawyers (since I have been dealing with them for years).

I also tried to take one or two classes a semester and pay out of pocket at my former college or transferable local state colleges, but it's just expensive and what I owe the state always comes up. The state has me on lockdown (even garnishes my tax returns to pay my university). Surround state colleges with engineering programs are even more expensive than the ones in my city, however slightly.

I think my opportunity for now is to just go ahead and get an associates in marketing since that is what I'm doing now (paying out of pocket won't be easy until I reduce liabilities or make more money). It should take 1 year because all of the generic classes will transfer over. Or win the lottery and enroll next semester :).

[Empowe]

Am I depressed if the instant I'm alone, or not talking to someone, I start thinking upsetting thoughts? It's like when I'm alone, my brain is trying to make me cry. When I'm talking to a person I like, either online, or over text, or in person, I generally feel okay, but that might just be because my brain is occupied.

What sort of upsetting thoughts?

Do you spend a lot of time alone?

[PumpkinPie]

I have been laying in the same spot and had nothing to eat for like four days. I have nothing. I can't possibly imagine a future for myself.

[goodfella]

First post in this thread, don't know what to say really.

I just wanted to have some presence in this thread for some reason.

Edit: -snip-

[vatstep]

Sunday nights are horrible. I stay up as late as I can and it fucks me over for days to come because that feeling of waking up on Monday morning and going to work is just devastating to me. In fact, all of Sunday just feels like a waste because I know I have to work the next day. Once I fall asleep Saturday night, the weekend is pretty much over. :|

My psychologist (whom I've been seeing for a year now) has been mentioning medication to me more and more lately. It sort of feels like she's giving up on me. I'm hesitant to go the medication route because I'm terrified of side effects and because I really cannot afford another expense. I'm incredibly lucky that I have a doctor I can talk to every week that has waived my co-pay due to my financial issues... I wish that was enough for me but I just don't think it's helping anymore.

Has anyone been extremely resistant to medication for years and finally decided to give in?

[Feep]

Sunday nights are horrible. I stay up as late as I can and it fucks me over for days to come because that feeling of waking up on Monday morning and going to work is just devastating to me. In fact, all of Sunday just feels like a waste because I know I have to work the next day. Once I fall asleep Saturday night, the weekend is pretty much over. :| My psychologist (whom I've been seeing for a year now) has been mentioning medication to me more and more lately. It sort of feels like she's giving up on me. I'm hesitant to go the medication route because I'm terrified of side effects and because I really cannot afford another expense. I'm incredibly lucky that I have a doctor I can talk to every week that has waived my co-pay due to my financial issues... I wish that was enough for me but I just don't think it's helping anymore. Has anyone been extremely resistant to medication for years and finally decided to give in?

It's possible you dread heading into work on Monday because *you hate your work*, not due to any particular imbalance in your brain. Not that it's easy to suddenly get a sweet new job, but maybe you should give it a shot before chemical substances? You shouldn't feel like that...having a good career is a very significant part of your life.

[vatstep]

It's possible you dread heading into work on Monday because *you hate your work*, not due to any particular imbalance in your brain. Not that it's easy to suddenly get a sweet new job, but maybe you should give it a shot before chemical substances? You shouldn't feel like that...having a good career is a very significant part of your life.

Thanks for responding. I don't want to type up some lengthy diary entry (too lazy to — too lazy to do much of anything, really), but it's not really my job that I dislike but work in general. I just don't want to do anything. Maybe I'd be somewhat less miserable doing something else, but I have no idea what that would be since I don't feel like I'm particularly good at anything. I occasionally look for jobs but give up after a few minutes — the idea of going through that process again, interviewing, meeting people, re-learning everything, etc. is so unbelievably overwhelming and hopeless-feeling to me... I feel like I could climb Mount Everest before I could succeed at any of that. I don't want a career. I just want enough money to live. I had that for years with my current job — didn't love it, but I'd do my work, come home and be fine. I feel like I can't do that anymore. I don't want what I have and, uh, I don't want anything else? I have no idea.

As far as medication goes, I know it's unrealistic that I could take a pill that would miraculously make me not hate my job, or at least feel less inadequate at it. The recommendation from my doctor was initially related to some other issues that I have, but now I'm not so sure what she's thinking (I'm not sure if she knows either).

[Feep]

Thanks for responding. I don't want to type up some lengthy diary entry (too lazy to — too lazy to do much of anything, really), but it's not really my job that I dislike but work in general. I just don't want to do anything. Maybe I'd be somewhat less miserable doing something else, but I have no idea what that would be since I don't feel like I'm particularly good at anything. I occasionally look for jobs but give up after a few minutes — the idea of going through that process again, interviewing, meeting people, re-learning everything, etc. is so unbelievably overwhelming and hopeless-feeling to me... I feel like I could climb Mount Everest before I could succeed at any of that. I don't want a career. I just want enough money to live. I had that for years with my current job — didn't love it, but I'd do my work, come home and be fine. I feel like I can't do that anymore. I don't want what I have and, uh, I don't want anything else? I have no idea. As far as medication goes, I know it's unrealistic that I could take a pill that would miraculously make me not hate my job, or at least feel less inadequate at it. The recommendation from my doctor was initially related to some other issues that I have, but now I'm not so sure what she's thinking (I'm not sure if she knows either).

Have you ever really done *nothing*? It's actually pretty maddening, after the first couple of weeks. Most retired/rich people end up doing some form of volunteer/charity work to stay active, because staying home and watching movies/playing video games gets to be unbearable.

It still sounds like your job isn't challenging you, isn't providing stimulation...it's just something you do to get by. Not having a job at all just isn't really an option for most people...life just doesn't allow it for common folk like you and me. So I say make the most of a bad situation and try and get the best job you can.

Of course, it does sound like there are possible other issues at work here, too. But I'm not qualified for that kind of diagnosis, so I don't know how much help I can be.

On the plus side, you should still be glad Sunday is there...otherwise, Saturday would be the day before Monday, and then even THAT glorious day would be ruined. = D

[Curtisaur]

I take a Monday off every now and again; whenever the opportunity presents itself I do it. Most people are all about taking off on Friday for a long weekend, but I feel that just the psychological effect of having a Monday off is much more pleasant. Friday is Friday. Everyone is happy about Friday being Friday regardless of whether or not they have to go to work... but everyone generally dreads Monday. Having Monday off is such a pleasant and welcome feeling when it can happen. Give it a try sometime if you can!

[vatstep]

Have you ever really done *nothing*? It's actually pretty maddening, after the first couple of weeks. Most retired/rich people end up doing some form of volunteer/charity work to stay active, because staying home and watching movies/playing video games gets to be unbearable.

You're right. I know that, realistically, even I probably wouldn't want that after a while. I just don't want to sit at a computer all day anymore (unless I'm on GAF, of course), I don't want to deal with the shitty office politics that come along with a job like mine... all that crap. I don't know what other type of job would enable me to continue living like I do (I have a nice apartment, although I'm cutting it really close since my girlfriend dumped me, moved out and left me to pay her half of the rent), but I would honestly rather go back to working retail than another office job. I actually don't mind dealing with people and am good at customer service, even though I'm completely anti-social in my personal life. I know that's not really going to happen, though...

Anyway, thanks for your thoughts, I appreciate it. I'm probably going to fall asleep soon, ugh. At least I have my protein bar to look forward to in the morning.

I take a Monday off every now and again; whenever the opportunity presents itself I do it. Most people are all about taking off on Friday for a long weekend, but I feel that just the psychological effect of having a Monday off is much more pleasant. Friday is Friday. Everyone is happy about Friday being Friday regardless of whether or not they have to go to work... but everyone generally dreads Monday. Having Monday off is such a pleasant and welcome feeling when it can happen. Give it a try sometime if you can!

I do this a LOT actually, as I'm lucky to have a shitload of vacation time. One of the benefits of my job. Unfortunately, Tuesday just becomes my Monday, but at least the week is shorter and getting to the next weekend becomes easier (the only goal I have in life at any time, seemingly).

[Curtisaur]

I do this a LOT actually, as I'm lucky to have a shitload of vacation time. One of the benefits of my job. Unfortunately, Tuesday just becomes my Monday, but at least the week is shorter and getting to the next weekend becomes easier (the only goal I have in life at any time, seemingly).

I do it as often as possible. I get comp-time instead of overtime. I go on call every third week and any call I get adds to it. I've got enough from my last week that I can be off tomorrow, thankfully. I could use vacation time too I guess, I never really thought about that.

I think I am in the same spot as you, somewhat. I feel kind of like I am pointless, everything is pointless to an extent, and that I'm just sort of stuck in my own personal Groundhog Day/week.

I'm sorry I don't really have any good or lasting advice but I guess there is a tiny amount of solace in knowing you are not alone? I dunno. Maybe not. I sorta hate hearing stuff like "it'll be okay, relax, don't worry, etc..." when I get to feeling super down about everything.

I just try to stay busy, but lately I'm very very aware of the fact that most everything I do is busy work to keep my mind off of whatever.

[neojubei]

Anyone know how to change therapists? I just saw mine on Friday and I really don't think he is helping me at all. I think he is just laughing at me and my problems. After my meltdown last two weeks ago he is very calm about it. It seems if I want to change therapists they have to talk to him first. I know there are things I need to change but I don't know how maybe my brain is just wired badly. His advice is "welcome to the real world" when I talked about moving out. This really makes me want to do something reckless. There is a huge wall in my mind that seems to prevent me from taking the actions I want to take to improve my life. I just want help to get rid of that wall. My therapist is probably laughing at me while cashing the checks.

I am starting to think these people really don't want patients to get any better. I tried seeing a therapist at a gay health center but all he did was listen and write stuff down.

I don't know why I even bother anymore. I went out and try to find help and no one really cares one bit.

[ErasureAcer]

I am starting to think these people really don't want patients to get any better. I tried seeing a therapist at a gay health center but all he did was listen and write stuff down. I don't know why I even bother anymore. I went out and try to find help and no one really cares one bit.

Exactly. The whole healthcare industry is bull unless you're in the ER.

I'll help you out with what your future holds. http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=425810

[NinjaFridge]

Exactly. The whole healthcare industry is bull unless you're in the ER. I'll help you out with what your future holds. http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=425810

Might as well tell him to try this.

[neojubei]

Exactly. The whole healthcare industry is bull unless you're in the ER. I'll help you out with what your future holds. http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=425810

I really do not know how that works.

[ponpo]

I just searched pristiq neogaf for fun and found this thread. I was prescribed some a few days ago but have yet to take any. It's probably the same with every medication, but reading about it online has made me so turned off from the idea of taking it! Was going to start tomorrow but meh~

[Shakala]

So after a few months of taking an increased dosage of effexor (75-150mg), I came to the conclusion that it wasn't making any difference. I've gone back down to 75 but I'm finding myself in that dark place once again.. I don't know

[neojubei]

How does that medication help for those that are taking any? What does it really do for you? it doesn't change your situation in life does it?

[Bagels]

How does that medication help for those that are taking any? What does it really do for you? it doesn't change your situation in life does it?

No. It's a common misconception that antidepressants are "happy pills." They don't magically make you feel awesome and not give a fuck about anything. What they do is open up the possibility of feeling positive emotions. They also shift the lowest parts of your mood upward a bit.

Imagine a mountain range - climbing higher is equivalent to feeling mentally healthy. From the top of a mountain, you can see the obstacles you'll have to overcome. but you can also see where you're headed in the future. In the valleys, on the other hand, you can't see what's around the next bend. And let's pretend it's a filthy valley, full of mud and slippery rocks and branches that you keep running into.

Now, when you're depressed, we chop the tops off of all of the mountains, so even if you're up there "feeling good," it's not as good as it should be. You want to be able to see more beautiful things up ahead. Instead, you're spending more and more time in the increasingly nasty, prickly, muddy, awful valley.

So an anti-depressant puts the tops of the mountains back on, but you've still got to get yourself up there. Likewise, the valley is a little drier, there aren't as many thorny bushes, but you've still got to pull yourself out of those low points.

Sorry, but that's as good an analogy as I could come up with at the moment.

For me, I simply say that I feel like myself when I'm on Effexor. When I'm depressed, or on the wrong drug, I don't feel like myself at all. The drug didn't make me happy by itself, but when good stuff happened, I could actually feel it!

As to changing your therapist, if it's not working, it's not working. Ask around about another therapist. Of, if your current therapist isn't cutting it, you can just say "this isn't working, can you give me the names of some other therapists. You'll find that some of them do care, very, very much. You need to ask around about who is good, if at all possible. If not, it's going to be some trial and error. Fortunately, after an initial visit, you can get a sense of what therapy with that provider will be like.

If you establish a rapport with the nursing staff, they'll often give you the straight dope on who's good and who isn't.

[Bagels]

I just searched pristiq neogaf for fun and found this thread. I was prescribed some a few days ago but have yet to take any. It's probably the same with every medication, but reading about it online has made me so turned off from the idea of taking it! Was going to start tomorrow but meh~

Any idea why they started you on Pristiq? The clinical trials have not been terribly impressive, it's a new, expensive drug, and Pristiq itself is just a metabolite of Effexor, which comes in generic form. I wouldn't start with Pristiq, but I'm not a doctor, I don't know your case, so maybe you're the ideal Pristiq user.

I'd ask your doctor flat out why he or she chose this drug for you. It's good to hear that they have some rationale for it (hopefully). And maybe it's on the hospital formulary and doesn't cost you that much. I'm just curious, I guess.

[ATF487]

No. It's a common misconception that antidepressants are "happy pills." They don't magically make you feel awesome and not give a fuck about anything. What they do is open up the possibility of feeling positive emotions. They also shift the lowest parts of your mood upward a bit. Imagine a mountain range - climbing higher is equivalent to feeling mentally healthy. From the top of a mountain, you can see the obstacles you'll have to overcome. but you can also see where you're headed in the future. In the valleys, on the other hand, you can't see what's around the next bend. And let's pretend it's a filthy valley, full of mud and slippery rocks and branches that you keep running into. Now, when you're depressed, we chop the tops off of all of the mountains, so even if you're up there "feeling good," it's not as good as it should be. You want to be able to see more beautiful things up ahead. Instead, you're spending more and more time in the increasingly nasty, prickly, muddy, awful valley. So an anti-depressant puts the tops of the mountains back on, but you've still got to get yourself up there. Likewise, the valley is a little drier, there aren't as many thorny bushes, but you've still got to pull yourself out of those low points. Sorry, but that's as good an analogy as I could come up with at the moment. For me, I simply say that I feel like myself when I'm on Effexor. When I'm depressed, or on the wrong drug, I don't feel like myself at all. The drug didn't make me happy by itself, but when good stuff happened, I could actually feel it! As to changing your therapist, if it's not working, it's not working. Ask around about another therapist. Of, if your current therapist isn't cutting it, you can just say "this isn't working, can you give me the names of some other therapists. You'll find that some of them do care, very, very much. You need to ask around about who is good, if at all possible. If not, it's going to be some trial and error. Fortunately, after an initial visit, you can get a sense of what therapy with that provider will be like. If you establish a rapport with the nursing staff, they'll often give you the straight dope on who's good and who isn't.

Interesting analogy, I've told people it lowers your standard deviation but your mean as well. Both ends of the spectrum were truncated; I didn't feel great but I never felt awful.

Which brings me to this: is anyone else currently having good luck with medications? I took Prozac for 2 years, and I don't really think I want to go back on an SSRI for the above reasons. I have anxiety but not real panic attacks, and I'd say that I'm not majorly depressed, just sort of irritable and tired a lot of the time. Maybe it's Dysthymia.

[Woorloog]

Can depression's symptoms include memory issues and time feeling like "blur"?
I occured to me yesterday i cannot say how long it has been since many things... i could swear something that happened a few months ago happened year or two ago and vice versa.

[neojubei]

Are there any prescription drugs to make me feel not myself? I am afraid I am going to still in this place for another 5 - 10 years still going to therapy and nothing will ever change. Stuff like this eat at my mind and soul and makes me want to just say to hell with it all and do something regretful. At night I pray to help me change my life or even just die in my sleep. To die actually would be best as I don't have to think or feel anything and nothing will be missed. I'm not exactly going to meet anyone or have some impact on anything. Life isn't worth living. I feel like I wasted my time trying to do the right thing going to college getting a job only to live in this hell in my mind. This is probably how people go crazy and become psycho killers or something. I feel like I rather just die as myself now than do anything irrational in the future. Therapy isn't going to help they will just keep saying the same crap for years as long as I pay the bill then if I go insane I'll become the state's problem. Therapy doesn't help at all it's seems to be a joke.
I have no talent no interests I am not good looking or creative or anything at all. I have no skills. I'm pretty much a loser in every way. No ambition nothing to show for anything I've done. Who wants to date a loser like me. Maybe if I did die it would show my mother how horrible she is and maybe make my sister start living her own life.

[zoukka]

At night I pray to help me change my life or even just die in my sleep. To die actually would be best as I don't have to think or feel anything and nothing will be missed. I'm not exactly going to meet anyone or have some impact on anything.

I look back at my own life and have felt the same at one point. Well now I have most of the things I dreamt of. It didn't happen over night and was a long trip, but here I am enjoying life. You are blind to the potential "bright future" where you are now, but only getting up and changing your ways of life can help you. Therapy and medicine helps, but are not the ultimate solution.

Realise that there is no grand power helping you or stopping you from getting healthy and happy. Just you and the world and you can stop living someone else's life right now.

I recommend completely changing your daily routines. Get rid of your addictions.

[Empowe]

Neojubei, you say you have no interests or talents, but depression can make you uninterested in things you do normally enjoy. I know that is the case for me.

If you can lift that veil of depression, you can find something you are good at. Find something to enjoy.

[Tess3ract]

no interests I am not good looking

I can't speak for you but it was very apparent you had interests and things you enjoy doing.

Maybe you don't think much of them which I can understand with though.

Also you're not ugly at all

[Charoncaori]

I decided I'd rather spend the night on GAF again instead of going out with my friends... Sucks. I can't even catch up on games like this because I don't have any desire to play anything.

Depression is horrible for backlogs. Hoping I can motivate myself to keep my intake appointment on Thursday...

[destrudo]

I see a lot of people talking about anti-depressants, and while it's obvious, I wanted to stress the importance of doing some kind of therapy in conjunction with the medication. I've met so many people who take the pills, feel a bit better, and then go back to how they were before without really changing. Now while this may not apply to everyone, it definitely does to the people who are struggling with depression.

[destrudo]

I think loneliness is a common trigger for a lot of us. We seek it out, even though it's ultimately destructive. I need to surround myself with people and I love life. Then I choose to hide from the world and just hate myself. I recognize a need for solitude and reflection, but I know I take it too far. Hence the reason we should all share in here and via PMs. None of us are alone. We're connected by this disease and it gives us an immediate bond. We're not alone, and we matter to each other.

Being alone is so much easier and less stressful, but so much worse in the long run. Then again, pushing ourselves to be with other people all the time can be just as destructive. I guess we gotta find a balance.

[Visualante2]

Being alone is so much easier and less stressful, but so much worse in the long run. Then again, pushing ourselves to be with other people all the time can be just as destructive. I guess we gotta find a balance.

I think the core thing is to have people around you that actually care about you. Surrounding yourself with people who don't understand or care about you is completely worthless. It shouldn't be an effort.

[destrudo]

Man, been lurking in this thread for months now; you know, close to write something, but deleting it right after? Well my best wishes to you all guys, anyway. At least reading it makes me feel like i'm less weird or alone in this; i don't even think i'm clinically depressed (i actually have no idea), but (very often now) there's that.. "wave", my breathing stops for a moment, i have to close my eyes shut, and it's weird cause it's almost random, whatever i'm doing, good or bad moment.

It took me a couple tries before I posted anything in this thread. You want to say something but at the same time you don't, lol. I figure a lot of people experience that, but fuck, no one in here is going to judge you, we've all got similar problems.

I get anxiety attacks too, and they come on pretty randomly. It's like I think I'm ok being a certain situation and then one day, bam, I feel like I can't breath.

[Charoncaori]

I can't handle this anymore. I can't take any responsibilities. I can't even watch a fucking movie without being reminded of shit I have to do in the middle. I can't fucking relax and I'm just shutting down. I snap at everything. I just fucking want to be left alone. If I could drive I would just find a fucking motel and sleep for a few days. I can't do this.

[Woorloog]

I wonder if being easily discouraged is one symptom of depression. Or if i've always been like that. I cannot remember.

[rallaren]

Admitting you have problems until the depression turns into bad mood and some frustration, is the first steps. I'm kinda stuck there currently... it's loads better than depression though.

Actually I think my depression many years ago started with bad mood and frustration. I didn't know what to do with it and just turned it inwards, against myself or something.

[Woorloog]

Admitting you have problems until the depression turns into bad mood and some frustration, is the first steps. I'm kinda stuck there currently... it's loads better than depression though. Actually I think my depression many years ago started with bad mood and frustration. I didn't know what to do with it and just turned it inwards, against myself or something.

You answering to me or just in general?
I know i suffer from depression, i could list all the things indicating it but just take my word for it ok? (No diagnosis done, probably should visit a therapist but...)
Just wondering if being easily discouraged is one possible symptom of depression.

Oh and as i asked earlier, can depression affect memory? There are many things i know happened in the past but unless i somehow deduce the times somehow, i cannot tell how long ago something happened.

[rallaren]

You answering to me or just in general? I know i suffer from depression, i could list all the things indicating it but just take my word for it ok? (No diagnosis done, probably should visit a therapist but...) Just wondering if being easily discouraged is one possible symptom of depression. Oh and as i asked earlier, can depression affect memory? There are many things i know happened in the past but unless i somehow deduce the times somehow, i cannot tell how long ago something happened.

Just in general.

And I think you should focus on the current.

But I'm not sure.. I might need therapy.

[Woorloog]

Just in general. And I think you should focus on the current. But I'm not sure.. I might need therapy.

Yes, i should focus on the present and the future. But i bothers me i cannot remember properly. It bothers me because i'm not sure if it is due depression or something else. Something else would be worse, naturally.

Also, fuck nostalgia. I feel more at home thinking about my memories. I keep thinking what could have been. I keep regretting certain decisions.
At least there are things that can be rectified later on... but when that doesn't work, i'm discouraged instead keeping trying...

[ThisWreckage]

Anyone know how to change therapists? I just saw mine on Friday and I really don't think he is helping me at all. I think he is just laughing at me and my problems. After my meltdown last two weeks ago he is very calm about it. It seems if I want to change therapists they have to talk to him first. I know there are things I need to change but I don't know how maybe my brain is just wired badly. His advice is "welcome to the real world" when I talked about moving out. This really makes me want to do something reckless. There is a huge wall in my mind that seems to prevent me from taking the actions I want to take to improve my life. I just want help to get rid of that wall. My therapist is probably laughing at me while cashing the checks. I am starting to think these people really don't want patients to get any better. I tried seeing a therapist at a gay health center but all he did was listen and write stuff down. I don't know why I even bother anymore. I went out and try to find help and no one really cares one bit.

Most therapists laugh at people while cashing checks. Don't be naive. There are better alternatives than a therapist. I've known therapy to make people worse, actually.

[Xun]

I feel so incredibly lost in life.

It's the same as for most people, but this isn't the life I want to be living.

It's dull and not going in the direction I want to go.

[Bagels]

Most therapists laugh at people while cashing checks. Don't be naive. There are better alternatives than a therapist. I've known therapy to make people worse, actually.

Thanks for your incredible insight! It's interesting that while "there are better alternatives than a therapist," you somehow neglected to name a single one. That's curious. I'd love to hear your brilliant, measured thoughts on this topic!

[Jimothy]

Thanks for your incredible insight! It's interesting that while "there are better alternatives than a therapist," you somehow neglected to name a single one. That's curious. I'd love to hear your brilliant, measured thoughts on this topic!

I find talking to my parents about my problems more therapeutic than an actual therapist. I'm pretty sure I inherited all my mental issues from them, so they know exactly what I go through.

[ClassyPenguin]

Most therapists laugh at people while cashing checks. Don't be naive. There are better alternatives than a therapist. I've known therapy to make people worse, actually.

I think you are the one who is naive if you really believe that.
When in therapy, the patient is the one who has to open up about their lives and experiences. The therapy isn't magic, it takes a lot of effort to be truthful and honest with basically, a stranger.

[Bagels]

Oh and as i asked earlier, can depression affect memory?

Absolutely. There's even a putative physiological reason for this. If you look at the hippocampus - basically the brain structure responsible for transforming short-term memory into long-term memory (among other things) - in depressed people, it actually shrinks. This was first noticed in autopsies of people who had suffered from untreated depression (often suicides) but has since been demonstrated with MRI.

The hippocampus is one of the areas of the adult brain that continues to form new neurons thoughout life (you'll often hear that the human brain stops growing new neurons at some point in your life. We've known this isn't true for over 10 years. It's just that there aren't many brain regions that do so). One of the many recent theories explaining how antidepressants work is that they promote neurogenesis. This has been shown in some animal models, and you can see an increase in hippocampal size in depressed individuals who have been successfully treated, but it hasn't really been definitively demonstrated.

So there you go. At an initial visit with a psychiatrist, you'll be given one of several mini mental status exams. Depressed people often do poorly on the parts related to memory.

From personal experience, the periods of my life associated with the worst depression are all pretty hazy. I remember key events almost as if they happened to someone else, and I was watching from the outside.

I started keeping journals when I was first diagnosed with depression, and looking back at them, I'll find all sorts of stuff that I had forgotten had happened. I highly recommend keeping a journal, for many reasons, really, but at the very least, it can be helpful in filling in hazier bits of your memory.

[Cubsfan23]

here's a secret: most therapists need therapy themselves and/or try to to make it to where your problem is "managable" but not try to cure it, just so they can keep cashing the checks

[Bagels]

I find talking to my parents about my problems more therapeutic than an actual therapist. I'm pretty sure I inherited all my mental issues from them, so they know exactly what I go through.

I hate to break it to you, but your parents are laughing all the way to the bank as they cash your checks.

Kidding aside, you make a good point. When someone suggests you see a therapist or physician, I don't think they ever mean you should ONLY talk to those people. Professionals can obviously offer professional advice, but family and friends who share your problems can offer insights that a relative stranger can't.

Depression runs in my family, too, and I've learned a lot from talking to my parents, aunts, uncles, cousins. My best friend also suffers from depression, and is a neuroscientist to boot, and she and I watch out for each other and have served as better therapists for each other than our actual therapists.

The only caveat is that many people don't understand or "believe in" depression. I used to talk to another friend about what I was going through, but he just fundamentally doesn't believe in medications for depression, or really in depression in general, so he'd just end up pissing me off. It took me a while, but I finally though, "maybe I shouldn't try to get help with my depression from someone who doesn't think it's real."

[Bagels]

here's a secret: most therapists need therapy themselves and/or try to to make it to where your problem is "managable" but not try to cure it, just so they can keep cashing the checks

Okay, I'm getting trolled right?

1.) If you're suffering from depression, why would that make you want to take up a career duping other depressed people?
2.) Depression is a chronic condition. I'm not sure you can actually "cure" it. I prefer to say I'm "in remission." Depression can and will reoccur in most people. Even if it doesn't, it takes constant vigilance to head it off. You learn about all of this stuff in CBT.

3.) How much do people think therapists make? How much would you want to be paid to listen to someone talk about being abused as a child, being depressed, crying, complaining - basically your job is to talk exclusively to sad, deeply broken people. How much would you charge to listen to an hour of nothing but negativity? Factor in the fact that this is what you'll do all day, every day. Got a number? Okay, you're not getting paid close to that.

4.) Most psychiatrists don't practice much talk therapy any more. There are some residency programs that focus almost exclusively on talk therapy, but modern psychiatry is a team-based practice, with a psychiatrist overseeing your care and managing your meds, while psychologists and various therapists handle things like CBT. Part of the reason is money, absolutely (an hour of talk therapy is not reimbursed nearly as well as a shorter visit for medication management), but it's also about specialization. If you want to get really good at using psychoactive drugs to treat even a subset of disorders - say mood disorders - you basically need to focus on just that. The same goes for ECT, or child psychiatry, or forensic psychiatry.

5.) Psychiatry is considered one of the "under-paid" specialties. I know - boo-hoo. Poor doctor has to settle for the C-class Mercedes instead of the S-class. Still, if you're in it purely for the money, you go for dermatology, radiology, plastic surgery, anesthesiology, or ophthalmology. Not saying those people are all in it for the money (except for dermatologists), but if you are in it for the money, and you choose psychiatry, you fucked up.

[Woorloog]

Absolutely. SNIP So there you go. At an initial visit with a psychiatrist, you'll be given one of several mini mental status exams. Depressed people often do poorly on the parts related to memory. From personal experience, the periods of my life associated with the worst depression are all pretty hazy. I remember key events almost as if they happened to someone else, and I was watching from the outside. I started keeping journals when I was first diagnosed with depression, and looking back at them, I'll find all sorts of stuff that I had forgotten had happened. I highly recommend keeping a journal, for many reasons, really, but at the very least, it can be helpful in filling in hazier bits of your memory.

Well, i guess i'm sort of happy to know any memory issues i have are due to depression, not something else (i'd rather not even think what that "something else" might be).

I think my depression was really triggered when my father died... I really don't remember when that happened. I have no idea what year it was and... well, it was probably 2008. But i cannot remember anything from that year. The next things i remember are from 2010... I think, based on some message time stamps anyway.

Duh, now i'm staring this text and trying to remember stuff.

[Shakala]

Constantly being stressed doesn't help with depression either