[ThisWreckage]

Pretty much agree with all three of you. The way people talk about dates and relationships like they're something you just walk down to the store and pick up for a couple bucks, when it seems like a completely unobtainable concept to me? I don't think jealousy is a strong enough word.

What is natural to one man is completely alien to another. Some people are blessed and others are cursed. The only thing you can do is improve your chances as best as you can.

[Tkawsome]

Disclaimer: only saying how it's worked out for me but... it's pretty simple really. You always need a some kind of common ground. School can be it, or a hobby, even gaming. Then you just talk casually, have fun and try to see if you're compatible. I don't buy all that seduction and 'playa' stuff, it's for people who want doomed one-night stands. If you can't be mostly genuine with someone from the start, it's not gonna be anything in the long run.

I do that all the time and while it has made me a lot of female friends, it has always stayed there. Doesn't matter how compatible we are. I've even had women tell my pals they would date me if they were single. Fast forward: They're single and still won't give me a shot.

[ThisWreckage]

I do that all the time and while it has made me a lot of female friends, it has always stayed there. Doesn't matter how compatible we are. I've even had women tell my pals they would date me if they were single. Fast forward: They're single and still won't give me a shot.

Women, like all humans, should be believed on action and not words. Talk is cheap.

[mj1108]

I've even had women tell my pals they would date me if they were single. Fast forward: They're single and still won't give me a shot.

So you have asked them out?

[Eric Walton]

uh i am 21 years old (tomorrow)

I have had sex with multiple people. I am a badass.

Now I wait until I meet my bride on NeoGAF.

[Keikaku]

uh i am 21 years old (tomorrow) I have had sex with multiple people. I am a badass. Now I wait until I meet my bride on NeoGAF.

I get that you're joking but this reminds me of a post in another, older thread where a guy claimed to have given a girl 27 orgasms in one session. He ruined that hypothetical vagina.

[Jburton]

3 year relationship from 19 - 22 ....... Crazy, intense, destructive.

3 year relationship from 25 - 28 ....... Should never had been.

4 year relationship (and still going) from 28 - until now (32) ........ Intense, deep, right.


Have had a few one night stands and a 3 month fling.

[ReiGun]

23. Never had a relationship. I'm pretty shit when it comes to dating/courting.

[Tkawsome]

So you have asked them out?

One of them I didn't get a chance, and realized it was for the best. The other I actually made some moves with and she just disappeared. She went from hanging out almost every night to a complete ghost.

[KevinCow]

One of them I didn't get a chance, and realized it was for the best. The other I actually made some moves with and she just disappeared. She went from hanging out almost every night to a complete ghost.

You're doing better than me, at least. Girls don't even talk to me.

[SafeinSound]

14-16 I was dating a different girl or hooking up with one every other month (not sex).
17-20 I didn't date anyone while I was in highschool. Hated it and everyone there.
20 - Met some psycho girl online. Met her once in person, she played me.
23 - Met another girl online who is currently my girlfriend and the best thing to ever happen to me.

[tearsofash]

25 and divorced. Monogamous relationship from 18-25 with only trivial high school relationships before then.

Finally playing the field and exploring. Feels good.

Sometimes. Other times, I have break downs. Whatever.

[Surface of Me]

26 and none. I just don't understand the whole relationship process, to the point where I don't know how anybody manages to couple up. I'm great at making friends and somehow managed to get most people to like me, but when it comes to romance and seduction, you might as well be speaking a language I just can't comprehend.

This. I feel anormal for never having been into a relationship/dated/kissed/held hands/been hugged. Other people make it seem like it's so easy.

This is exactly how I feel too. I hear people ending up together after meeting in university, social events, hell, even the grocery store, but I just have no idea how it works. On the one hand it really bothers me and makes me pretty depressed sometimes, but on the other hand I've managed 27 years like this, so why bother changing things?

Pretty much agree with all three of you. The way people talk about dates and relationships like they're something you just walk down to the store and pick up for a couple bucks, when it seems like a completely unobtainable concept to me? I don't think jealousy is a strong enough word.

I'm in the boat with these guys. I just really don't get it.

I thought I had finally found someone a few months ago, we were so in sync. We'd laugh, sing, continue each other's jokes and all that. She was so easy to fall in love with. She changed her mind on me twice though, she said she only tricked herself into liking me because she was lonely. She said she was sorry and that she knows she will do it again, so we aren't going to talk for a few months. I don't know what to think of it all, I thought it felt, just real, and I'll probably end up remembering her as my first love, even though she might not share the same feelings. I don't know if it will end up more than that or nothing at all.

[Eric Walton]

I'm in the boat with these guys. I just really don't get it. I thought I had finally found someone a few months ago, we were so in sync. We'd laugh, sing, continue each other's jokes and all that. She was so easy to fall in love with. She changed her mind on me twice though, she said she only tricked herself into liking me because she was lonely. She said she was sorry and that she knows she will do it again, so we aren't going to talk for a few months. I don't know what to think of it all, I thought it felt, just real, and I'll probably end up remembering her as my first love, even though she might not share the same feelings. I don't know if it will end up more than that or nothing at all.

Oh god. Scary parallels. Granted, she broke up with me... Yesterday? I think.

If you'd like to talk, PM me.

[zethren]

23.

16-23: First and only gf.

[Keikaku]

I'm in the boat with these guys. I just really don't get it. I thought I had finally found someone a few months ago, we were so in sync. We'd laugh, sing, continue each other's jokes and all that. She was so easy to fall in love with. She changed her mind on me twice though, she said she only tricked herself into liking me because she was lonely. She said she was sorry and that she knows she will do it again, so we aren't going to talk for a few months. I don't know what to think of it all, I thought it felt, just real, and I'll probably end up remembering her as my first love, even though she might not share the same feelings. I don't know if it will end up more than that or nothing at all.

The best advice I can give is to just let it go. Even if she comes back, don't accept her. You're not doing this to be cruel to her or anything like that-it is hands-down your best move. You will find someone else.

The other advice I would give you is to not delay on asking people out. If you feel something for a person, just ask them out on the first time. Say something simple like "Hey, I really enjoyed talking/meeting/working with you, do you want to grab some coffee later?"

The worst they can say is "No" :)

[ThisWreckage]

I'm in the boat with these guys. I just really don't get it. I thought I had finally found someone a few months ago, we were so in sync. We'd laugh, sing, continue each other's jokes and all that. She was so easy to fall in love with. She changed her mind on me twice though, she said she only tricked herself into liking me because she was lonely. She said she was sorry and that she knows she will do it again, so we aren't going to talk for a few months. I don't know what to think of it all, I thought it felt, just real, and I'll probably end up remembering her as my first love, even though she might not share the same feelings. I don't know if it will end up more than that or nothing at all.

Dating really is a game. It shouldn't be, and it's perverse, but that's human beings for you. Some people understand the game more than others. I'm not talking about pick up artist bullshit either. I think people that give advice like, "Just be yourself," are particularly clueless.

[Carcetti]

I think people that give advice like, "Just be yourself," are particularly clueless.

I don't think being 'yourself' is that important, but being honest is. If you're looking for a relationship and not just casual sex, you can't hold a facade forever. It's one thing to try and fail and another to setup yourself for a doomed relationship from start.

Of course, it's pretty academic if it's not working any way. Reading something like this...

I do that all the time and while it has made me a lot of female friends, it has always stayed there. Doesn't matter how compatible we are. I've even had women tell my pals they would date me if they were single. Fast forward: They're single and still won't give me a shot.

¨

... infuriating because you really can't make any sense why it would be like this. A lot comes down to luck, I guess.

[Surface of Me]

Oh god. Scary parallels. Granted, she broke up with me... Yesterday? I think. If you'd like to talk, PM me.

I'll shoot you one tomorrow.

The best advice I can give is to just let it go. Even if she comes back, don't accept her. You're not doing this to be cruel to her or anything like that-it is hands-down your best move. You will find someone else. The other advice I would give you is to not delay on asking people out. If you feel something for a person, just ask them out on the first time. Say something simple like "Hey, I really enjoyed talking/meeting/working with you, do you want to grab some coffee later?" The worst they can say is "No" :)

Yeah, everyone tells me to move on. So I'm trying. I was really lucky to meet her though, typically I'm not very good at meeting new people, romantic or otherwise.

Dating really is a game. It shouldn't be, and it's perverse, but that's human beings for you. Some people understand the game more than others. I'm not talking about pick up artist bullshit either. I think people that give advice like, "Just be yourself," are particularly clueless.

"And if young love is just a game, then I must have missed the kick off"

[Eric Walton]

I'll shoot you one tomorrow. Yeah, everyone tells me to move on. So I'm trying. I was really lucky to meet her though, typically I'm not very good at meeting new people, romantic or otherwise. "And if young love is just a game, then I must have missed the kick off"

did you just quote blink-182?


dude, do you want to marry me? Right now. Do you want to change your sexuality and commit to a life of nothing but me and blink-182? I'm at that point.

[Keikaku]

Yeah, everyone tells me to move on. So I'm trying. I was really lucky to meet her though, typically I'm not very good at meeting new people, romantic or otherwise.

Post your profile up on OKCupid/Plenty Of Fish/Craigslist. Message people looking for friends or whatever else you want. Don't be discouraged if you get no response, just keep messaging.

Maybe I'm telling you things you've already tried but I've been where you and a lot of other people in this thread are. I've pined over "the one girl", I've been friendzoned and I managed to find relationships.

It's hard, sometimes almost unfair, but you can get out it.

[shanshan310]

Pretty much agree with all three of you. The way people talk about dates and relationships like they're something you just walk down to the store and pick up for a couple bucks, when it seems like a completely unobtainable concept to me? I don't think jealousy is a strong enough word.

Its really neither of those things. Getting into a relationship is really no different than forming a friendship, except that I suppose there is often a formal proposal regarding becoming a couple. Some people form relationships easily, for others it takes more time. If you're like me it takes a while to open up to people, which is really one of the important in any kind of relationship, friendly or romantic. The key is to be with like minded people. I imagine if I tried to make friends/ date any old person off the street I would have a lot of trouble. But if you find people who you fit together with, it just works somehow.

I think people that give advice like, "Just be yourself," are particularly clueless.

Or people receiving it don't understand, perhaps. A relationship, romantic, friendship or otherwise, has a far higher chance of succeeding if you can be relaxed and enjoy things that you have in common.

[Lucian Cat]

Well I think this new guy is going head first into sucky territory. We were supposed to catch up this arvo to work out and whatnot and he sends me a message 30 minutes before I'm about to leave saying he's going to his dads place. That is just rude! Been in a bad mood ever since :/

[Keikaku]

Well I think this new guy is going head first into sucky territory. We were supposed to catch up this arvo to work out and whatnot and he sends me a message 30 minutes before I'm about to leave saying he's going to his dads place. That is just rude! Been in a bad mood ever since :/

Google tells me that this is Aussie slang. Is that right? Never heard the term before.

Did he at least apologize for the short notice or give more of an explanation? Otherwise it's definitely rude.

[KevinCow]

Or people receiving it don't understand, perhaps. A relationship, romantic, friendship or otherwise, has a far higher chance of succeeding if you can be relaxed and enjoy things that you have in common.

But what if "yourself" isn't someone other people want to be with? You either have to change who you are, act like someone else, or just accept being lonely.

[ClassyPenguin]

Never had one.Not a virgin, though (18-20 were some interesting years, I'm 24)
It's one aspect of life that has just never happened to me. Almost everyone that I meet is either in one or has just gotten over one.

[Keikaku]

But what if "yourself" isn't someone other people want to be with? You either have to change who you are, act like someone else, or just accept being lonely.

This comment combined with this thread you posted makes me sad.

I can only say that, from what it sounds like, you've never really tried or given people a chance to form any sort of opinion of you.

If your whole attitude about talking to girls is "I don't want to try because she'll probably make fun of me", I can definitely say that you're looking at it the wrong way. Women aren't some mystical species, they're people too. Treat them like you would regular people and you'll be fine.

Start small. Make it a goal to talk to someone, anyone out and about once a week. If you do that for a month then up it to twice a week. Get yourself accustomed to interacting with strangers.

If you do talk to someone, man or woman, and they're rude to you ignore it and move on. Some people are just rude and it doesn't matter who you are or what you look like. The rudeness always comes out.

As for changing who you are, well, yeah you may have to change who you are. From what you've written, you're not happy with yourself and the situation you're in. If that's the case, then what do you have to lose by changing something about yourself? What do you have to lose by talking to people or going to the gym or trying to make new friends? Yes, you will experience failure. Yes, it will be hard. But if you already consider yourself to be in a permanent state of failure or hard times, the successes that you will also experience will be all the better.

[Lucian Cat]

Google tells me that this is Aussie slang. Is that right? Never heard the term before. Did he at least apologize for the short notice or give more of an explanation? Otherwise it's definitely rude.

Really? Yes it's slang for afternoon lol. I thought it was more common than just Australia. Something something shrimp on the barbie :P

His dad invited him over. That was the only explanation I got. He invited me around for a bit and I said hell no (I'm not allowed to be affectionate when he has his kid, and I don't get along with family members so it would be awkward to just sit on the other side of the couch around strangers) And he hasn't replied to my message so I'm quite pissy. Is this normal guy behaviour? Coz I'm about ready to bail

[Carcetti]

But what if "yourself" isn't someone other people want to be with? You either have to change who you are, act like someone else, or just accept being lonely.

I'm an incurable optimist when it comes to this. Internet and modern news have taught me that even absolutely terrible people can get that human connection, and you're not in that category. How do I know that? Well, I haven't really even talked to you ever before, but I remember you posting the Walking Dead game thread which means you have a good taste in entertainment and you got a great avatar which implies a sense of humor. So I refuse to people you're hopeless when it comes to this. All it takes is a one lucky day and the right person to come along.

[HP_Wuvcraft]

But what if "yourself" isn't someone other people want to be with? You either have to change who you are, act like someone else, or just accept being lonely.

Kevin,

People are trying to help you.

Not allowing them to is not going to end anywhere you want it to. In fact, I want to help you as well, but I'm pretty sure you're only looking for pity. That is not going to happen. People are not going to pity you just so you can feel good about your defeatist attitude.

[neojubei]

Zero relationships

[Keikaku]

Really? Yes it's slang for afternoon lol. I thought it was more common than just Australia. Something something shrimp on the barbie :P His dad invited him over. That was the only explanation I got. He invited me around for a bit and I said hell no (I'm not allowed to be affectionate when he has his kid, and I don't get along with family members so it would be awkward to just sit on the other side of the couch around strangers) And he hasn't replied to my message so I'm quite pissy. Is this normal guy behaviour? Coz I'm about ready to bail

Don't say that phrase lol. I lived in Scotland for 7 years and when I moved to the US I had to deal with that godawful phrase so much from high school kids who were too dumb to know the difference between Australia, New Zealand and Scotland. Hell, 90% of them didn't know that Wales was a country. But I digress :p

How long have you known this guy? How long have you been dating him? If you've been going out for a while he may feel comfortable in suddenly changing plans on you. Generally speaking, it's not normal guy behavior but it's one possibility.

As far as responding to your message, I'm not sure. I don't know if he's usually more responsive. It's actually pretty dependent on the guy.

EDIT: Most people will at least toss you an apology, however meager. If he hasn't or doesn't and you think he's worth the effort, let him know why you're upset.

[Lucian Cat]

That's the thing I don't know if he's worth the effort. I've known him for 7 years and we've only been together maybe 2 months and he's the worst at responding. I knew this. But I haven't gotten an apology or anything since I said I wouldn't go there. All he said was "OK then" 6ish hours ago.

And how can Americans mix up our accents? I mean really!

[KevinCow]

Kevin, People are trying to help you. Not allowing them to is not going to end anywhere you want it to. In fact, I want to help you as well, but I'm pretty sure you're only looking for pity. That is not going to happen. People are not going to pity you just so you can feel good about your defeatist attitude.

I'm not looking for pity. I've just heard every piece of advice given to me before. Plus the main reason I made that thread was just to vent.

I've tried to make changes in my life, and I'm still trying to make changes in my life. I'm just not convinced that changing my situation will fix the things that are wrong with my brain. Whatever the reason I am the way I am, be it genetic or because of my experiences, maybe the damage has just been done and the best I can do is figure out a way to live with it. There are some things that can't be cured, and when I've been trying and failing for the majority of my life to fix myself, I can't help but wonder if some of my issues may fall into that category.

[Al-ibn Kermit]

One of them I didn't get a chance, and realized it was for the best. The other I actually made some moves with and she just disappeared. She went from hanging out almost every night to a complete ghost.

So you did not ask them out. You shouldn't think of it as a grand gesture of love, just be honest and upfront that you have a little bit of a crush and want to go on a date to see where things go from there. Assuming you have good communication and some level of mutual attraction, she will most likely say yes to a first date.

It's pretty exciting but not that hard actually.

[Eric Walton]

That's the thing I don't know if he's worth the effort. I've known him for 7 years and we've only been together maybe 2 months and he's the worst at responding. I knew this. But I haven't gotten an apology or anything since I said I wouldn't go there. All he said was "OK then" 6ish hours ago. And how can Americans mix up our accents? I mean really!

start dating good looking american dudes.





y hallo

[Lucian Cat]

start dating good looking american dudes. y hallo

How you doing. A/S/L?

[Eric Walton]

How you doing. A/S/L?

.,,,y hallo

21/m/wherever you are, good looking


(that's creepy. i'm in the states. you're safe)

[shanshan310]

That's the thing I don't know if he's worth the effort. I've known him for 7 years and we've only been together maybe 2 months and he's the worst at responding. I knew this. But I haven't gotten an apology or anything since I said I wouldn't go there. All he said was "OK then" 6ish hours ago.

If it makes you feel any better my boyfriend of five years hardly ever responds =/ no one's perfect I suppose, and when we're together life feels pretty damn great. I guess it depends whether you feel like he's worthwhile despite it.

[Lucian Cat]

.,,,y hallo 21/m/wherever you are, good looking (that's creepy. i'm in the states. you're safe)

Well that's a shame lol. I thought you were a bit of alright in your other thread >_>

If it makes you feel any better my boyfriend of five years hardly ever responds =/ no one's perfect I suppose, and when we're together life feels pretty damn great. I guess it depends whether you feel like he's worthwhile despite it.

I don't think he is and this makes me sad coz I really like him. I just get put at the bottom of his list of priorities and that doesn't fly.

[BigGreenMat]

I have had one relationship where I was something like monogamous in college for 6 months. Since then I have been knowingly and unknowingly polyamorous. I tend to form bonds with girls in groups of 3 but also am up for the occasional fling. In this context I have had long term relationships of a few years, but still haven't found a true partner.

It isn't the easiest way of doing things but it is just how I naturally seem to operate. I try not to let people and their judgements and disbelief get me down. I hope to find someone or someones I really click with and have a family, but realistically know it may not be in the cards.

[Bleepey]

Some fun and topical statistics: UK: Men have an average of 9 sexual partners, women have 4 http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relations...en-have-4.html Age people lose their virginity Bozon, Michael. 'At what age do women and men have their first sexual intercourse? World comparisons and recent trends'. Population and Societies 391 (2003) 1–4.

The women one is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to low. I'd say it was at least double that.

[FairyD]

I'm 28 and never been in a relationship. I ain't got time to bleed.

[Shadybiz]

32 years old here. I've only been in 2 that I would consider "serious." One of those two was with my wife, we have been together since 2003, I think.

[Gustav]

The women one is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to low. I'd say it was at least double that.

The numbers can't work out. Mathematically, I mean.

Edit: Oh, wait. Forgot gay people.

[Uchip]

The women one is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to low. I'd say it was at least double that.

who says they were being honest in the surveys

[MVP]

Well I think this new guy is going head first into sucky territory. We were supposed to catch up this arvo to work out and whatnot and he sends me a message 30 minutes before I'm about to leave saying he's going to his dads place. That is just rude! Been in a bad mood ever since :/

Put his ass in his place. If you let him slide this time, he'll make it a habit and not respect your time or plans. That's extremely rude.

[Mendrox]

Well other than sex I guess 3 year difference ( i am 21) up and down are okay for me. Maybe 4, depends on the woman.

Other than sex, last saturday I was at a bar and a horny grandma was talking with us how she likes the young men etc. and she touched me...

Well she looked really good for 75 and ... i drove off with her on a taxi and it was amazing.


Other than that.... nope.

Edit: Wrong thread damn it.

Had 3 relationships. 1 year, 8 months and 3 months.
They were all amazing, but in the end I wasn't really satisfied and did end them.
I am currently looking for a new girl :)

[notsol337]

I had a girlfriend I was very fond of 3 years ago. She turned out to be insane. I haven't even wanted another for 3 years. Being single is fucking awesome. I am so alone oh my god

[Karak]

Highschool +2 years. First serious girlfriend. About 3 years total. What a whackjob. Amazing in bed though but that wasn't enough. Left that shit. Found out about 5 years later that her dad was banging her the same time I was :( Crazy shit.

Next 5 years. Dated a couple Russian and Ukrainian girls in our local collage. Good times, nice girls all. But I was mentally fucked up and kept dumping them after a year or a couple months. Set one up with my best friend and they are still married. Best body on a woman I have ever seen, total amazing classy woman. Darn:( Some of the nicest most endearing woman I have ever met. Always take care of themselves, always made sure the relationship was on good ground. Really a spectacular couple girls.

After that dated an ex Johovah Witness. she was 18 I was 27. Shit was awesome. Got engaged but the crap went downhill from there. Freakiest girlfriend I have ever had in the sack. Held back far too long from any sexual identity so she went hog wild once she left the church. Crazy times that made porn look tame. Chick was game for anything but mentally still screwed up from all those years. Didn't work after a bit though. Fell apart really. Heard she was married recently and got her life back in order. Happy for her for sure.

Then on to a pretty amazing Italian woman. Age 27. Hot body, amazing mind, but emotional. On and off. Also a bit too soft in the will to me when push came to shove. Emotionally she was far younger than the 18 year old. She began playing some serious mind games. I left finally.

Next was probably the love of my life. 24 year old redhead, runner with a rack to die for. Did some modeling when we met but changed jobs about 6 months after I met her. Amazingly smart, heading to be a lawyer, both parents were lawyers and some of the coolest laid back people ever. Also the only parents I ever met of a girlfriend who were just normal and accepting. On and off for 3 years. It was long distance though. Only about 1.5 hour drive but it took its toil and I was still trying to get out from under the mental games of the Italian girl.
Ended. We are still great friends and she still loves me but I don't ever want to hurt her again. Also still talk to her parents who are two of the greatest people alive. Man lawyers are people too:)

Wife. Married 3 years. Emotionally ROCK FUCKING SOLID. Going pretty good. Marriage has its ups and downs but you work through it.