[master15]

I've done it to a girl after a dozen or so messages back and forth, i felt like an asshole but what are you supposed to say?

This is applicable for you and everyone else who have had issues of conversations abruptly stopping.

Messages need to be thought out and needs to be looked as a method of creating meeting up. Generally 3-4 messages should be looked at maximum number of correspondence you want to have with a girl before initiating meeting.

Anything more you are running high risk of loosing a lot of tension of excitement and honestly do you really want to know someone's life story before meeting?

Messaging needs to be looked at as a litmus test of potential compatibility.

[sphinx]

okc is teasing me that some people rated me high and wants me to pay to see it....

has anyone paid for that????? is it worth it?

[HeySeuss]

This is applicable for you and everyone else who have had issues of conversations abruptly stopping. Messages need to be thought out and needs to be looked as a method of creating meeting up. Generally 3-4 messages should be looked at maximum number of correspondence you want to have with a girl before initiating meeting. Anything more you are running high risk of loosing a lot of tension of excitement and honestly do you really want to know someone's life story before meeting? Messaging needs to be looked at as a litmus test of potential compatibility.

Absolutely spot on. The allure of online dating is the unknown factor. Don't have diarrhea of the mouth right away. If you don't ask for a phone number after about 3 messages you're usually going to friendzone yourself. They get far too many messages as it is and it's exciting for both involved so don't ruin it by talking too much.

[wenis]

had an amazing 3rd date. Great food, conversation and we made out for like 30-40 minutes at the bar. Then made out on the way to her place (which took about an hour and a half for a 20 minute walk because we kept stopping to make out and grope each other )

I really like this woman... She wants me to meet her friends this friday.

[Bleepey]

okc is teasing me that some people rated me high and wants me to pay to see it.... has anyone paid for that????? is it worth it?

check your emails

[Dark Octave]

This is strange for me to even type this, but I find the thread title to be really...cute in a way.

[Mr. Sam]

All the good ones "reply very selectively." Why, God, why!?

[Bleepey]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlDkxwDyKU0&feature=plcp

Look at how many options a fat girl can have on dating sites.

[Fëanor]

What do you make of when a girl has visited your profile about 6 times in 10 day period?

[The Skater]

All the good ones "reply very selectively." Why, God, why!?

Probably because they get tons of messages with only "hey" or "whats up" and nothing more.

[sphinx]

check your emails

I know, but I got email only for 3 people, apparently there are more than that...

[henhowc]

While browsing profiles today I came across the profile of a girl I met in college. The thing is, that was like literally 12 years ago. We had one class together and she was an acquaintance of a friend I was taking the class with.

Under those circumstances would it be creepy to bring that up (both initially or at all) or a good conversation starter?

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

All the good ones "reply very selectively." Why, God, why!?

They're not selective. They're popular. I know girls that have to just delete messages blindly everyday or else they hit their inbox limit.

You have nothing to lose by trying if you already know they have too much shit to go through on most days.

[henhowc]

They're not selective. They're popular. I know girls that have to just delete messages blindly everyday or else they hit their inbox limit. You have nothing to lose by trying if you already know they have too much shit to go through on most days.

Yep. I've had a few friends who just got overwhelmed by the amount of messages they got and were like f- this and closed their accounts. And they weren't even like that cute. LOL

[Mr. Sam]

You have nothing to lose by trying if you already know they have too much shit to go through on most days.

Problem is, I'm afraid my efforts to make my messages "stand out" make me seem clingy or psychopathic. Suppose it's the best shot I'll get.

[Jake.]

i live in a tiny australian city and there are hardly any girls i find attractive on there - was one who i sent a message to but didn't get a reply back. still check every so often but it seems to be the same people.

i do get regular messages from du's though, even though it clearly says i'm straight haha.

[Darklord]

I'm meeting a girl next weekend. She seems so sure with what she wants I feel kind of out of my depth(as I'm inexperienced as fuck) but I'll just try and keep up I guess. I got the not so subtle "If I sleep with a guy on a first date my interest drops to zero" but I think she included that because he were talking about sex stuff we like. So, if all goes well I think it's pretty obviously going to get to that point quickly.

[Mr. Sam]

Finally, a bite! Felt like I was fishing for Magikarp for a few days there. I should never use that simile in front of a woman, should I?

[Jabo]

+25 Girls and not ONE reply LOL.

SIIIIGH Japan sucks. Or it's just the price of being not so good looking ;(

[Darklord]

+25 Girls and not ONE reply LOL. SIIIIGH Japan sucks. Or it's just the price of being not so good looking ;(

That's OKC. Try and improve your messages. I've been on 3 first dates(including the one coming up) and messaged probably 50-60+ women.

[henhowc]

Man...even the single moms are picky on here. :\

[Seth C]

I keep seeing this thread pop up so I finally created an account. Wow, the selection near me is...not great.

[master15]

If you don't ask for a phone number after about 3 messages you're usually going to friendzone yourself. They get far too many messages as it is and it's exciting for both involved so don't ruin it by talking too much.

That's the other important point. One other thing I've noticed in this thread is guys falling into a trap thinking things are progressing but really they are just in a secondary void. What I'm talking about is getting adding them on Facebook or instant messaging them.

It may seem like progression but if anything it's the exact opposite. If a girl wants to add you on FB after a few dates, sure but anything before hand can be anti-productive.

[wenis]

I met her friends this last friday night

then her roommates on saturday morning



think it may be time to change some relationship statuses soon. She's pretty awesome.

[ianp622]

All the good ones "reply very selectively." Why, God, why!?

90% of messages to attractive women are shitty one-liners or propositions for sex. Don't let it discourage you. I get about a 50% response rate, and I don't know if I've ever sent a message to someone who wasn't listed as "Replies very selectively".

[mj1108]

Man...even the single moms are picky on here. :\

They probably are if they're in their 20's. Once they hit their 30's and 40's and they are still single moms then they will start to settle for the nice guys they once turned down.

[Eiolon]

They probably are if they're in their 20's. Once they hit their 30's and 40's and they are still single moms then they will start to settle for the nice guys they once turned down.

Yup, and if you want the ride of your life, 40-45-ish is where you want to be.

[SpectreFire]

Did a rewrite of my profile and was wondering if I could get some feedback on it here.

Thanks!

My self-summary I'm a communications major, a creative type, someone who enjoys long bus rides with a good book. I like to write, talk, discover people and imagine fiction. I love music and strive to one day live up to my musical heroes. I live to hear good stories and laugh at the bad ones. I am blunt and mature, but secretly have a 10 year old kid living inside of me. I cried during the Lion King and I'll be damned if I don't cry again through Toy Story 3. I am all these adjectives, words and more and while I can try and condense all 23 years of me into a quick and painless summary... it'd probably be just as effective as canned whole chicken. So let's just talk and avoid the icky gelatinous mess that is canned me. What I’m doing with my life Faced with the near reality of graduating from university, I've been doing a lot of self reflection lately and figuring out both my past and future. While it may sound a pinch cliched, it still holds very true that I'm closing out a chapter of my life that I won't ever be able to get back to and starting up a new one free for me to write and tell however I please. It's both terrifying and exciting, a mixture of which is still doing mental somersaults in my head. It's like the show Growing Pains minus everything except the name. Long story short however, I'm in the process of trying to enter the communication world either in PR, Marketing, or whatever related field that tickles my fancy. It's definitely tough considering the lack of openings in the field and the competition I have to face, but I'm confident of my abilities to actually do well given the opportunity. Outside of career aspirations, I'm also in re-discovery mode and trying to find inspiration in some of the more creative paths that I kind of strayed from during the past while. It's a lot of leisurely reading, listening to music and just seeing if I can play off any of that and tell my own stories from it. I’m really good at I'm really fantastic at making people laugh or amused. I'm charming to some, bitterly boring to others, and insane to the rest. I also have this unique ability to melt into a complete goof around pretty girls that I like. Much like a sweat vest, it's gotten me out of a lot of close calls like having to contract cooties or go on dates! It's a super power Batman can only wish he had. In terms of tangible skills... if there's one thing I know I can do better than most, then it's writing. Give me the right inspiration and motivation and I can whip up a literary storm. I'm also pretty decent with a guitar and music, and it's a craft I try to improve on consistently. The first things people usually notice about me Blue hair. It absolutely has to be the blue hair right now. I've had children yell at me for my blue hair. Positively though. Because children are sometimes rad. Sometimes. I spend a lot of time thinking about The things I will do in the future and the things I should do in the future. Also, what can I learn from Back to the Future. On a typical Friday night I am Working on an assignment, enjoying some sort of activity at home, or having a drink at one of my favourite pubs with friends. Who am I kidding? I'm never working on an assignment on Fridays. The most private thing I’m willing to admit Pokemon was pretty serious business for me as a kid. You should message me if If you want me to charm another pair of pants onto you.

[HIGH DEF JEFF]

Did a rewrite of my profile and was wondering if I could get some feedback on it here. Long story short however, Thanks!

Irony.

[bodyboarder]

i live in a tiny australian city and there are hardly any girls i find attractive on there - was one who i sent a message to but didn't get a reply back. still check every so often but it seems to be the same people. i do get regular messages from du's though, even though it clearly says i'm straight haha.

Try oasis or POF, might have more luck.

[Lone_Prodigy]

Did a rewrite of my profile and was wondering if I could get some feedback on it here. Thanks!

Don't say how hard it is to get into your field. It comes off as an excuse, even if it's a legit one.

I notice you left your entertainment section out.

[Ashhong]

Alright guys, I just started OKcupid and have been messaging these 2 girls. Only a few each back and forth. Where do I go from this? Should I ask for their number to text? To call? Their facebook? Just skip straight to a date?

Also, I noticed some girls message me, then take like a day or so to respond after I respond, and I can see that they signed on in the meantime. Whats up with that!

[SpectreFire]

Just ask for a date. No point wasting around with text and chats.

[zlatko]

Still enjoy reading this thread. :P

As for a small update on what happened with me and the girl I went on 3 dates with, we started dating officially over a week ago, and this past weekend I had met her mom and sister, as well as a lot of her friends at a few gatherings and such.

Also, sex, lots of sex.

Feelsgoodman.

[Mr. Sam]

You are who we all want to be. And I hate you for it.

[RoH]

Still enjoy reading this thread. :P As for a small update on what happened with me and the girl I went on 3 dates with, we started dating officially over a week ago, and this past weekend I had met her mom and sister, as well as a lot of her friends at a few gatherings and such. Also, sex, lots of sex. Feelsgoodman.

Hooray for happy endings.

[True Underdog]

Went on 2 dates with the girl I posted about earlier. The first date was fun. Went to the art museum as suggested in this thread. She was kind of shy but I dismissed it as it was the first date. We talked a lot over the week and went out last weekend.

To be blunt, I was kind of bored. Not really feeling it. She invited me in after the date with relatively obvious intentions. I declined.

I have really shitty luck when it comes to second dates though. That may be more of a subject for the dating age thread.

[Ashhong]

Just ask for a date. No point wasting around with text and chats.

Jumped in and asked them if they want to get dinner. Is that an acceptable first date or do you guys do something fancy? If it was a friend that I already knew a bit in real life and a first date I'd probably just do dinner and maybe a movie or something...but this is like a total stranger. Feels so different.

[henhowc]

Jumped in and asked them if they want to get dinner. Is that an acceptable first date or do you guys do something fancy? If it was a friend that I already knew a bit in real life and a first date I'd probably just do dinner and maybe a movie or something...but this is like a total stranger. Feels so different.

Most people go for a quick meetup at a coffee shop or something that can be short and simple. That way you can feel the person out and aren't cornered into spending time with the person if you guys aren't feeling a connection (or if real life doesn't match the photos or profile :P).

[Seth C]

+25 Girls and not ONE reply LOL. SIIIIGH Japan sucks. Or it's just the price of being not so good looking ;(

Haha....consider yourself lucky. I just went through EVERY girl who had been on in the past week within 50 miles of me and I only came up with 5 I was even interested in messaging. So basically, I'll never get a response.

[Ultima_5]

Did a rewrite of my profile and was wondering if I could get some feedback on it here. Thanks!

Get rid of the part about the 10 year old... I understand what you meant, but it still comes off as creepy.

[dehydratedbabies]

Right after I got a "We chose each other!" 4-5 star rating message from a local girl she messaged me to say that she too is going to a concert that I mentioned in my profile, and after exchanging a few messages I learned that she was going by herself. So in the last message I sent her I included a line about how we should go together (it's in about 2 weeks), and her next message responded to everything but that line. I'm assuming that my next step should be to ask her to do something with me before the concert so we can get to know each other, but it's been a few days and I still haven't. I know that I want alcohol to be involved but I don't know what to suggest... Bar? Restaurant? A pint of Jameson underneath a bridge? What would a normal human do here?

[Razorskin]

Right after I got a "We chose each other!" 4-5 star rating message from a local girl she messaged me to say that she too is going to a concert that I mentioned in my profile, and after exchanging a few messages I learned that she was going by herself. So in the last message I sent her I included a line about how we should go together (it's in about 2 weeks), and her next message responded to everything but that line. I'm assuming that my next step should be to ask her to do something with me before the concert so we can get to know each other, but it's been a few days and I still haven't. I know that I want alcohol to be involved but I don't know what to suggest... Bar? Restaurant? A pint of Jameson underneath a bridge? What would a normal human do here?

What? Why?

[Ashhong]

Most people go for a quick meetup at a coffee shop or something that can be short and simple. That way you can feel the person out and aren't cornered into spending time with the person if you guys aren't feeling a connection (or if real life doesn't match the photos or profile :P).

Ah that's what I thought. Was just seeing a few posts here about taking the girl to various things.

What do you guys do when a girl you aren't attracted to and not interested in messages you? I dont want to be rude and ignore, but don't dont really have any desire to talk back..

[Deadly Cyclone]

Damn this site. :P

Messaged a girl a bit back and forth. Then a few weeks back she was apparently traveling in Europe and had some drinks and we got into a good long discussion. I messaged her a few days later and got nothing back. Still have yet to see anything.

Sent a follow-up last night with my number in case she needs a study break for coffee or something, as she's getting a doctorate in psychology. She seemed interested and very friendly, so not sure why she just up and stopped responding.

Hopefully she gets back to me.

Otherwise I keep seeing the same women pop up on there.

[dehydratedbabies]

What? Why?

How else am I going to drug her?

Really though, is alcohol unusual in a "first date" scenario? Aside from the fact that if I were going out with existing friends I'd want to be drinking (because it is fun and I don't get to do it very often anymore), I think it'd make the initial awkwardness less painful (and the potentially extended awkwardness less memorable).

[Ultima_5]

How else am I going to drug her? Really though, is alcohol unusual in a "first date" scenario? Aside from the fact that if I were going out with existing friends I'd want to be drinking (because it is fun and I don't get to do it very often anymore), I think it'd make the initial awkwardness less painful (and the potentially extended awkwardness less memorable).

Don't go in there w/ the intention of getting schwasted or anything, but I see no problems with going and grabbing a few drinks. Both of my last gfs started dating me when alcohol or weed were involved on the first date. Social lubricant and what not

[zlatko]

You are who we all want to be. And I hate you for it.

It took a stupid amount of work and grinding to get here though. I think right before you hopped into the thread was when I did a "stats" post that went over how much messaging and the other dates I did before it.

I'm anticipating MaxRPG's unbanning so he can hop back into this thread and tell us all how he made out. I know I'm not the only curious one.

[dehydratedbabies]

Don't go in there w/ the intention of getting schwasted or anything, but I see no problems with going and grabbing a few drinks. Both of my last gfs started dating me when alcohol or weed were involved on the first date. Social lubricant and what not

Yeah, getting wasted can wait until the concert. So can weed, because that's usually the opposite of a social lubricant for me

I just don't know if I want to choose a bar, restaurant, or something else. I think the optimal thing would be an activity that includes alcohol, but bowling is the only one that comes to mind and I don't feel like going bowling.

[ATF487]

Right after I got a "We chose each other!" 4-5 star rating message from a local girl she messaged me to say that she too is going to a concert that I mentioned in my profile, and after exchanging a few messages I learned that she was going by herself. So in the last message I sent her I included a line about how we should go together (it's in about 2 weeks), and her next message responded to everything but that line. I'm assuming that my next step should be to ask her to do something with me before the concert so we can get to know each other, but it's been a few days and I still haven't. I know that I want alcohol to be involved but I don't know what to suggest... Bar? Restaurant? A pint of Jameson underneath a bridge? What would a normal human do here?

Bummer.

I'd say bar. I don't know how others feel but when I'm meeting someone in the early stages I always feel like the eating part of the date is a bit awkward. It's also cheaper and you can bail a bit earlier if it comes to that