O

OG Shaka Zulu

Member

• Jul 23, 2017

• #1

So my wife and I have been dating since 2004, we've had our ups and downs as far as infidelity goes, in 06 she cheated and we broke up for a bit. Flash forward to today, we have 3 kids and have gotten over our issues and are doing fine.

Today she drops a bombshell on me. Back in 06 when we were off, she was out with friends at a bar. Woke up butt naked in her bedroom, with a guys watch in her room and a phone number scribbled on paper. She calls the number, he says he was drunk as hell and doesn't remember anything. She didn't press charges, she was too traumatized for it and just blocked things out of her mind.

I'll be honest, I am fucking drunk and angry right now and want to kill this guy. I am fucking pissed and don't know what to do about it. Anyone have experience with this? I have no priors.

To add, the friend she was out with... we lost contact with her for a few years but she is now a rival attorney that we both encounter in Court. Her personality towards us has changed and she's formal and acts like we were never friends at some point. I attributed the change of behavior to work stress, but now in hindsight I'm wondering if she felt guilty about that night and is now just awkward with us. I am fucking furious at the moment.

 

K

Kyne

Member

• Jul 23, 2017

• #2

the guy left his phone number for her to call.. ? I'm not sure a rapist would do that.. but rape is rape I guess..

was she super drunk too, or does she feel like she was drugged?

 

M

milanbaros

Member?

• Jul 23, 2017

• #3

Are you sure it wasn't a drunk hook up?

 

H

hidys

Member

• Jul 23, 2017

• #4

Jesus that is rough. I'm really sorry to hear that. I'm don't really have any good advice other than wait until you sober up tomorrow to reflect. Do not be hasty while you are drunk and don't do anything without consulting your wife.

 

V

Volimar

Member

• Jul 23, 2017

• #5

I know you're upset, but if they were both drunk as hell then neither of them could consent. Is there any reason to believe anything happened aside from two people who had a drunken hook up and blacked out? Rapists don't tend to leave their numbers behind.

 

S

Steeped in a Sea of Games

Member

• Jul 23, 2017

• #6

So what prompted her to finally open up about this now that its been 11 years?

 

T

timetokill

Banned

• Jul 23, 2017

• #7

Weird that he would leave his number if it wasn't consensual?

Regardless, I'm really sorry to hear that happened. Make sure she can talk to somebody if she wants or needs to.

 

B

BocoDragon

or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Realize This Assgrab is Delicious

• Jul 23, 2017

• #8

Is the implication here that she knows she did not drink that much, and was date raped?

 

J

- J - D -

Member

• Jul 23, 2017

• #9

Your post doesn't make it clear, did your wife actually say to you that she was raped?

 

SiteSeer

Member

• Jul 23, 2017

• #10

ugh, so much to unpack, so many unanswered questions, and so many things to go further sideways. all i can say for sure is you have my sympathy. good luck and god bless.

 

M

MCN

Banned

• Jul 23, 2017

• #11

milanbaros said:

Are you sure it wasn't a drunk hook up?

Click to expand...

There is a vanishingly thin line between "drunk hook up" and "rape"

 

K

Kuroi Gogeta

Member

• Jul 23, 2017

• #12

Does she suspect that any sort of drugs were involved or purely just alcohol? It sounds like both of them were drinking heavily. Either way, that should not have happened.

 

D

Dynasty

Member

• Jul 23, 2017

• #13

Need more info?

 

S

Souless_PJ

Banned

• Jul 23, 2017

• #14

milanbaros said:

Are you sure it wasn't a drunk hook up?

Click to expand...

Yeah doesn't really sound like rape to me OP. Two people get wasted and have sex doesn't make it non consensual.

 

G

Gordon Shumway

Banned

• Jul 23, 2017

• #15

First, sober the fuck up up.
Second, sober the fuck up.
Twelfth, sober the fuck up.
Also, the fuck, man? That title of crazy as shit..sober the fuck up.

 

S

sanstesy

Member

• Jul 23, 2017

• #16

Get sober first.

 

cromofo

Member

• Jul 23, 2017

• #17

Did she say she was raped or did you come to that conclusion? Seeing you're drunk, don't do anything stupid.

Honestly, it looks like a drunken hook-up.

 

J

jaekeem

Member

• Jul 23, 2017

• #18

sanstesy said:

Get sober first.

Click to expand...

+1

 

M

Mass_Pincup

Banned

• Jul 23, 2017

• #19

Did she say that she feels like she was raped?

 

S

Symphonia

Banned

• Jul 23, 2017

• #20

I’m struggling to believe this. Why would he leave his number if he raped her? I’m 99% sure that they were both drunk and hooked up with each other. The reason she opened up is guilt.

 

ModBot

Not a mod, just a bot.

• Jul 23, 2017

• #21

This thread is already plunging toward the abyss. Sober up and make another if you think it's a good idea, but therapy is where you belong.