These are amazing, lol.
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Transformers: The Last Knight |SPOILER THREAD| The worst movie about cars this year
- Thread starter Toa TAK
- Start date
TAJ
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
I just got around to watching Independence Day: Resurgence last night and the China pandering was shameful. Not as bad as Age of Extinction but pretty bad.
He frees faces from heads. It doesn't get freer than that.
Freeza Under The Shower
Member
So ehm, I had made a 'could be' plot synopsis from the trailers in the Boxoffice threads, how close was I?
I want to say I was pretty close, but I forgot about 'it's true, all of it' as a suggestion.
Also, I'm fairly sure I mentioned
was in this one based on the first poster. Have to search for it a bit. Edit: nope, I did not. Only chatter about other shows in the franchise.
Kind of sad they went the small route, but it's expected given Bay always goes small. Not sure why he does the geography boogaloo though.
Oh, and speaking of which, how DOES the movie explain Beast Machined Cybertron (as seen as the least glorious flat shot ever in the trailers) exactly?
Edit: THE transformers wiki page to read is the one on scale. Seriously, reeeeaaaad iiiit. That's a joke someone should have put in one of the live-action movies ages ago.
I want to say I was pretty close, but I forgot about 'it's true, all of it' as a suggestion.
Also, I'm fairly sure I mentioned
Unicron
Kind of sad they went the small route, but it's expected given Bay always goes small. Not sure why he does the geography boogaloo though.
Oh, and speaking of which, how DOES the movie explain Beast Machined Cybertron (as seen as the least glorious flat shot ever in the trailers) exactly?
Edit: THE transformers wiki page to read is the one on scale. Seriously, reeeeaaaad iiiit. That's a joke someone should have put in one of the live-action movies ages ago.
WrenchNinja
Member
My favourite pages are Dull surprise and furmanism
Rodney McKay
Member
Damn, that just sounds... well, bad.
They already did the "Bring Cybertron to Earth" story-line with the Leonard Nimoy transformer movie, right?
Except this time it worked and they aren't planning on enslaving humanity to rebuild it?
brandonh83
Banned
Jesus fucking Christ
It sounds really bad.
ultracal31
You don't get to bring friends.
Dude
I've worked on a lot of objectively "bad" movies (last transformers to pan to kong)
This one is the first time that even in the raw dailies I knew it was just a different kind of awful hence why I'm telling people to not watch it
MagnaderAlpha
Member
I'm sure a studio could make a GREAT Transformers movie that delivers on action, interesting, well paced story, great characters and a memorable experience WHILE appealing to an audience that just wants to be entertained. I don't think that will happen under Bay, nor if he producers future installments. Fuck me for sounding old, I wouldn't mind a cool, fun Transformers movie with heart.
So robots have blood coming out of their head now when they get their brains blown out?
CassidyIzABeast
Member
That's space oil sir.
FusedAtoms
Member
I'm actively watching this movie in theaters rn (I'm in the back row and the theater is almost empty so in not bothering anyone).like I saw pirates a few days ago and it was fucking awful but this movie is probably the most points thing I've ever seen. It started at 10:30 eat and it's 12:00 am and I couldn't tell you what the plot is of this movie
NLCP Gaming
Member
This is honestly one of my favorite transformers flicks. It continues the trend of odd number transformers being the good ones
I guess we expected Micheal Bay to put out a good movie for once, in which he hasn't done that in years.
The 3rd one wasn't that good, but compared to 2 and 4 it was definitely better and had a decent 2nd half at least.
Elwood Blues
Member
What ever happened to Shia LaBeouf in these movies? Did they kill him off or what?
NLCP Gaming
Member
1 and 3 are the best transformers flicks and 5 has now entered that convo.
Alter_Fridge
Member
Bobby Roberts
Banned
NealMcCauley
Member
It never quite reaches the insane highs or insulting lows of the previous movies. I mean there is still plenty of insane and insulting shit going on, but it feels different. Kind of like it's just going through the motions.
It has the dual task of reintroducing Duhamel and glorifying the military while continuing AoE's "some shady military dudes hate all aliens" plot. Marky Mark is a jaded Autobot protector and temporary father figure to a orphan teenager that Bay still can't help but treat like eye candy sometimes. We know our female lead is tough because she plays Polo with men. And she is single because she is a smart Oxford professor who only hangs out with her family. Anthony Hopkins plays his character like if Basil Fawlty was right about everything, but he got fat and reliant on a smarter Manuel. Megatron is introduced squatting in a dilapidated building. He helps release some badass Decepticons that are almost all killed in their first battle. Prime disappears for large parts of the movie. They never let him go full psycho besides being temporarily brainwashed. One of the more 3D moments is an impaled guy in the foreground slowly dying. Merlin is a drunk and Tucci completely hams it up.
Hopkins and Tucci felt like they were the only ones having fun making this. Wahlberg's missing the enthusiasm from AoE and is now just a standard gruff sort. Female British lead is pretty much Bay's hangups with Kate Beckinsale. The action's not as great as the others, which is a shame because this may be the best looking of the movies.
It has the dual task of reintroducing Duhamel and glorifying the military while continuing AoE's "some shady military dudes hate all aliens" plot. Marky Mark is a jaded Autobot protector and temporary father figure to a orphan teenager that Bay still can't help but treat like eye candy sometimes. We know our female lead is tough because she plays Polo with men. And she is single because she is a smart Oxford professor who only hangs out with her family. Anthony Hopkins plays his character like if Basil Fawlty was right about everything, but he got fat and reliant on a smarter Manuel. Megatron is introduced squatting in a dilapidated building. He helps release some badass Decepticons that are almost all killed in their first battle. Prime disappears for large parts of the movie. They never let him go full psycho besides being temporarily brainwashed. One of the more 3D moments is an impaled guy in the foreground slowly dying. Merlin is a drunk and Tucci completely hams it up.
Hopkins and Tucci felt like they were the only ones having fun making this. Wahlberg's missing the enthusiasm from AoE and is now just a standard gruff sort. Female British lead is pretty much Bay's hangups with Kate Beckinsale. The action's not as great as the others, which is a shame because this may be the best looking of the movies.
brandonh83
Banned
You don't think we know this? Sometimes it's not an exaggeration and a movie is just that bad. This movie is just that bad.
this was a legit fucking bad movie
i mean
casual racism and sexism aside like
holy shit, i never thought that "an aggressive wasting of my time" would be such an appropriate description of anything
if you're in the movie theaters and it hasn't started yet
get out
right now
okay wait until metal gear gekko shows up, then you can get out
i mean
casual racism and sexism aside like
holy shit, i never thought that "an aggressive wasting of my time" would be such an appropriate description of anything
if you're in the movie theaters and it hasn't started yet
get out
right now
okay wait until metal gear gekko shows up, then you can get out
Bobby Roberts
Banned
Nah bro, its your expectations that are all fucked up, see? You're expecting things. That's dumb. Just make yourself as fucking stupid as possible before you go in the theater, and smear your corneas with shit. It's fun. You'll have fun. You just have to be in the right mindset. That's your fault, not the movies.
what did you expect
Freeza Under The Shower
Member
Speaking of which: did that thing, with its constant presence in the trailers, amount to anything substantial?
brandonh83
Banned
This made me feel like I was too hard on Alien Covenant lol
No. But it was sure trying to trick me into thinking what I was seeing was cool.
...what thing
because "something that was shown in trailers but doesn't actually fucking do anything substantial" can apply to a lot of things in this movie
brandonh83
Banned
Think he's talking about the shit with the kids at the beginning that made it obvious that Bay played Guns of the Patriots.
Just came back from the movie. I won't say it is bad as I was entertained by it. Although it was all over the place. Decepticons basically took a back seat for the majority of the film. Main villain wasn't really there. The little girl and the other guy were basically nothing characters. Optimus plot was basically wasted and would've been better to introduce him back in the beginning
Positives I was entertained by the action sequences. Butler robot was funny along with bumblebee.
Positives I was entertained by the action sequences. Butler robot was funny along with bumblebee.
What were the casual racist/sexist parts?
And is Optimus really not in the movie for that long?
I heard there was"urban" decepticons
Of course there were...
I'm guessing the sexist parts have to do with the female lead and the girl, judging by some of the earlier posts and reviews.
brandonh83
Banned
I was never into the action because the characters sucked and most of the butler humor was obnoxious like when it was building the music up around an important bit of information during that painful exposition and it was just the butler bot playing an organ or some shit.
At that point I knew Bay was just fucking with me. That part with the decepticons where it would introduce them with their names as text on the screen told me for a fact that Bay was just doing it to see what he could get away with.
The entire movie felt like bored obligation for some reason and he just wanted to see how much he could fuck with it.
The Transformer bits in this were great. All Decepticons talked, the Autobots were fun. Second act, much like ROTF's second, was a slog. Too many humans brought too much cringe.
I absolutely loved
I absolutely loved
"we were brothers once." Very, very on point - felt like actually Transformers shit.
Biggest-Geek-Ever
Member
Did this movie even bother to explain what the fuck Optimus Prime was doing during the final battle? He just appears on the back of that dragon (which essentially does nothing) toward the end after everyone else spends 5 minutes getting crushed.
I remember he cried like a bitch for Starscream to pick him up after this:
Even after watching this a couple of times, I' still not entirely sure what's happening, thanks to the 'fantastic' Transformer designs.
Remember the episode The Conspiracy from Star Trek: TNG?
This is it Bobby. This is happening.
OP bends Megatron's arm backwards, firing his arm canon, point-blank, in his face.
ShinoguTakeruKoeru
Member
GOD, THAT MADE NO DAMN SENSE! Optimus makes a big deal about "I'LL OPEN A PATH" and logically you take that to mean he'll like clear the way for the good guys, maybe HE could have drawn the fire of the same generic Decepticon ships that we saw from the last film instead of the US Air Force's ships, but nope, he apparently flew around in circles to wait for the 3-headed dragon so he could land on it and fly valiantly in at the VERY LAST SECOND.
Megatron really needs to stop making his whole right arm a gun.
~
John Turturro's cameo return was nice. Stanley Tucci getting to be Merlin was OUTstanding, Anthony Hopkins was basically doing the "HARRRGGGGGHHHH" from Thor but for the entire movie, it has become apparent that Marky Mark is basically Michael Bay's self-insert lead (The hair being identical finally gave it away), and did anybody stay to the end of the credits to see if they pinned another stinger? I left after the bit with Gemma Chan as Human!Quintessa.
A more ambitious story probably would have had Optimus live out the Nemesis bit up to the final battle, and THEN he turns good again and sacrifices himself to finish off Quintessa, and from his crumbling body the Matrix of Leadership flies up and Bumblebee gets it, because no fucking way Hot Rod does in this film universe.
Speaking of Hot Rod, motherfuckin' Singularity bullets. "I STOP THE TIME!" That was swell.
I wasn't just hearing things, right? That was Steve Buscemi as the other rotund Autobot?
Also, STARSCREAM'S HEAD HAS NO BUSINESS BEING INTACT. SAM SHOT THAT BIONIC COMMANDO CLAW INTO ONE OF HIS EYES, AND THEN STABBED THE OTHER EYE WITH A BOMB THAT BLEW HIS FUCKING HEAD APART! The only reason why his head should be intact is if HE's also subconsciously repairing himself like how Megatron's head wasn't completely dead, so then we can see Starscream return to backstab Megs one last time.
You know what would have kicked ass? Grimlock flying in on the dragon in his Autobot form, and then Grimlock turning back into a T-Rex and the dragon splitting back apart into 12 Autobot Knights. Grimlock should have said some shit and done more shit.
THAT FUCKING AMULET TURNS INTO THAT SWORD AND THEN RIGHT AFTER OPTIMUS SAYS HIS LINE, THE SWORD JUST VANISHES FROM CADE'S HANDS, LIKE DID THEY THINK WE WOULDN'T NOTICE THAT?!
Rickelodeon
Member
My review of this movie;
What the fuck was this movie lol
i sincerely mean that in a positive way, kinda! i have a particular affinity for this series and Michael Bay as a filmmaker in general, this was probably the best one of the series, (of course you rate that on the Transformers Scale) and even the most that felt like the original G1 series, lots more robot interaction and screentime it seemed
but man, the Bayman saw this was his Totally For Sure Gonna Be His Last One and pulled out all the stops and got real WEIRD with it. Shit is bananas.
This a movie that has
i might be making this sound wayyyyyyyyy cooler than it might actually be to some people, idk i'm just weird and enjoyed the hell out of this for it's absurdness
What the fuck was this movie lol
i sincerely mean that in a positive way, kinda! i have a particular affinity for this series and Michael Bay as a filmmaker in general, this was probably the best one of the series, (of course you rate that on the Transformers Scale) and even the most that felt like the original G1 series, lots more robot interaction and screentime it seemed
but man, the Bayman saw this was his Totally For Sure Gonna Be His Last One and pulled out all the stops and got real WEIRD with it. Shit is bananas.
This a movie that has
Anthony Hopkins being part of a secret society who helped Transformers on Earth
Anthony Hopkins with a cane thats actually a machine gun
Anthony Hopkins with a Watch Transformer who is referred to as "The Watch That Killed Hitler" (the actual line in the movie)
Anthony Hopkins in general
Hot Rod being french
Megatron negotiating with lawyers (which leads into....)
.....Suicide Squad but with Decepticons
A psychotic ninja butler C3PO who fights off his urges of wanting nothing more than to murder things
Marky Mark becoming a member of a secret intergalactic order of Knights and able to will a giant-ass sword into existence that he only does once
Drunk Stanley Tucci as Merlin the wizard in ye olde times
Harriet Tubman being part of that Secret Society Who Helped Transformers On Earth
Steve Buscami as a Autobot salesman
Optimus Prime being EVILLLLL, for like 5 minutes
Anthony Hopkins with a cane thats actually a machine gun
Anthony Hopkins with a Watch Transformer who is referred to as "The Watch That Killed Hitler" (the actual line in the movie)
Anthony Hopkins in general
Hot Rod being french
Megatron negotiating with lawyers (which leads into....)
.....Suicide Squad but with Decepticons
A psychotic ninja butler C3PO who fights off his urges of wanting nothing more than to murder things
Marky Mark becoming a member of a secret intergalactic order of Knights and able to will a giant-ass sword into existence that he only does once
Drunk Stanley Tucci as Merlin the wizard in ye olde times
Harriet Tubman being part of that Secret Society Who Helped Transformers On Earth
Steve Buscami as a Autobot salesman
Optimus Prime being EVILLLLL, for like 5 minutes
i might be making this sound wayyyyyyyyy cooler than it might actually be to some people, idk i'm just weird and enjoyed the hell out of this for it's absurdness
Messofanego
Banned
What is clockwork is people saying to turn off your brains and go into a coma before you go see a movie. The movie doesn't want you to turn your brain off with all these convoluted plot threads, characters, dialogue, and overwhelming sensory material that you have to make sense of for 150 minutes. Also, this might harsh your weed considering how un-relaxing this movie.
brandonh83
Banned
Real thoughts tho:
-Anthony Hopkins and his butler are the best characters this movie
-Megatron negotiating with the lawyers is the best scene in this movie
-The story and characters are bad, BUT, you already know that. What you don't know is how badly this movie fails on a fucking editing level. I don't know who the fuck cut this movie up and edited it, but it's jarring as some characters are in one spot in one shot, and in the next are suddenly 10 feet away and are performing some kinda action all while what's supposed to be a few characters standing around spouting exposition.
-People fucking clapped when Bumblebee spoke to Optimus Prime. I don't know why, either. You can guess, of course, that it wasn't earned whatsoever.
-People clapped at the end of the movie. That in of itself isn't what's mind boggling, it's that it got a rounding applause for this film. Maybe they were just happy it was over?
-Action is still cool, for the 5 seconds the Transformers actually engage each other.
-Loved that "Arrival to Earth" theme came back.
-If this actually IS Bay's last movie... it really does feel like it. There's a sense of finality to it all with John Turturro coming back and the clearly heartfelt (for Bay, anyways) cameo of Shia LaBeouf. He's throwing everything and the kitchen sink into this fucking thing. Despite the mid-credits stinger with Quintessa, I wouldn't doubt that this is his final go. Of course, you can easily make the same argument for Dark of the Moon.
That said, if you were walking into this movie expecting something decent or anything that wasn't a total abomination, you're a fucking fool.
-Anthony Hopkins and his butler are the best characters this movie
-Megatron negotiating with the lawyers is the best scene in this movie
-The story and characters are bad, BUT, you already know that. What you don't know is how badly this movie fails on a fucking editing level. I don't know who the fuck cut this movie up and edited it, but it's jarring as some characters are in one spot in one shot, and in the next are suddenly 10 feet away and are performing some kinda action all while what's supposed to be a few characters standing around spouting exposition.
-People fucking clapped when Bumblebee spoke to Optimus Prime. I don't know why, either. You can guess, of course, that it wasn't earned whatsoever.
-People clapped at the end of the movie. That in of itself isn't what's mind boggling, it's that it got a rounding applause for this film. Maybe they were just happy it was over?
-Action is still cool, for the 5 seconds the Transformers actually engage each other.
-Loved that "Arrival to Earth" theme came back.
-If this actually IS Bay's last movie... it really does feel like it. There's a sense of finality to it all with John Turturro coming back and the clearly heartfelt (for Bay, anyways) cameo of Shia LaBeouf. He's throwing everything and the kitchen sink into this fucking thing. Despite the mid-credits stinger with Quintessa, I wouldn't doubt that this is his final go. Of course, you can easily make the same argument for Dark of the Moon.
That said, if you were walking into this movie expecting something decent or anything that wasn't a total abomination, you're a fucking fool.
Biggest-Geek-Ever
Member
In terms of this being Bay's final movie (even if it isn't, it will be the last one I ever see), I thought it was somewhat interesting that he destroys major locations from at least the last 3 films when Cybertron drags its hooks (?): the pyramids, the moon landing location, and Hong Kong.
That's a tough one. I think the lows in TF5 are worse, but I was cackling like a maniac at essentially everything Anthony Hopkins said and did. I don't remember the exact dialogue, but his brief scene in the submarine had me in tears.
Dash_Riprock
Member
OMFG so Shia does make a cameo? Wonder what dirt Bay has on him.
Does he have a "I do NOT want to be here!" look like Bill Murray in Ghostbusters 2016 did?
Does he have a "I do NOT want to be here!" look like Bill Murray in Ghostbusters 2016 did?