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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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You guys went out twice? Stahp it there lol. Just keep doing what you have been doing till now, didn't she just have a migraine or something?

Gotcha. I just told her I hoped she felt better soon. I'll leave it at that. lmao

And yeah, it started out as a migraine, but I guess turned into something more. I dunno all the details.
 
Gotcha. I just told her I hoped she felt better soon. I'll leave it at that. lmao

And yeah, it started out as a migraine, but I guess turned into something more. I dunno all the details.
I think it's for the best. Even if it was meant to have the best of intentions, it'd kinda come across as clingy. Just be patient and let the sickness pass.
 

Clockwork5

Member
Quick question.

I have a first date tonight which I had been quite excited for until two days ago when I had to put my pet of 17 years to sleep. I've been really bummed out the past two days and really lost that excitement.

It seems like a bad idea to bring it up, but I know it is going to be difficult to be my self.

Should I just do my best to fake it or should I say something at some point?
 

ATF487

Member
Eh. I'm mutually ghosting someone right now. Or, I guess we've successfully mutually ghosted. It's painless and easier if both people are on the same page.

Besides, girl I'm dating (the girl Leeness ships for me) met my best friends last night for my birthday, so I guess that's going somewhere.

Mutual ghosting isn't really a thing though, right? If neither is making an effort to initiate contact then it's just mutual disinterest. Or disinterest and a hopeful passive participant, I guess.

Although I complain about ghosting ITT sometimes I know I'm a hypocrite; I just thought about what I had written earlier and I know I've done that mid-conversation disappearing act to others.

Rejection is the shitty bit, less so the manner in which it's done, at least in the early stages.
 
Quick question.

I have a first date tonight which I had been quite excited for until two days ago when I had to put my pet of 17 years to sleep. I've been really bummed out the past two days and really lost that excitement.

It seems like a bad idea to bring it up, but I know it is going to be difficult to be my self.

Should I just do my best to fake it or should I say something at some point?
Im sorry to hear this /:

Just be honest about it: "Hey, so this happened and I'm feeling a little down. I didn't want to bring it up since I was looking forward to going out with you, and still do, but I am still in low spirits." This right here is where you either a) postpone the date or b) take the chance to get out there and maybe enjoy yourself a little bit and hopefully feel a little better after.

As for myself I got a lock on a date for the next weekend. I will be rock climbing for the first time with this girl. Should be fun, we both hate heights but like the idea of experiencing something new together as our first date.
 

Clockwork5

Member
Im sorry to hear this /:

Just be honest about it: "Hey, so this happened and I'm feeling a little down. I didn't want to bring it up since I was looking forward to going out with you, and still do, but I am still in low spirits." This right here is where you either a) postpone the date or b) take the chance to get out there and maybe enjoy yourself a little bit and hopefully feel a little better after.

As for myself I got a lock on a date for the next weekend. I will be rock climbing for the first time with this girl. Should be fun, we both hate heights but like the idea of experiencing something new together as our first date.

Thanks for the condolences and advice. Ill follow it and try to keep the date on. I was just worried about making a terrible first impression since we don't know each other very well.

Congrats on the date next weekend. Hope it goes well and you enjoy rock climbing!
 
Thanks for the condolences and advice. Ill follow it and try to keep the date on. I was just worried about making a terrible first impression since we don't know each other very well.

Congrats on the date next weekend. Hope it goes well and you enjoy rock climbing!

I would bring it up before the date, though. Text her and let her know, but tell her you still want to go out because you think it will make you feel better, etc.
 

gaiages

Banned
It's rude as shit after a first date. Any time before that I could understand (since girls on these sites are inundated by messages).

Although i tend to take particular issue with being ignored, whether in a romantic context or not. The flakiness of my generation confounds me: just fucking respond to your messages, people.

Well you never know how someone's going to handle rejection. You might take it well, then the next person decides sending death threats or insults or anything in between. Better to just ghost if you don't know them that well, to be honest.
 

FyreWulff

Member
It's rude as shit after a first date. Any time before that I could understand (since girls on these sites are inundated by messages).

Although i tend to take particular issue with being ignored, whether in a romantic context or not. The flakiness of my generation confounds me: just fucking respond to your messages, people.

We live in a world where women are beaten up or killed for being direct and saying no.

Ghosting is just going to be part of life, and attitudes like this are why it happens.
 

Creepy

Member
So there's this girl that apparently lives with me now.
We've become very good friends since she turned up with a switch+zelda a few weeks ago.
I've known her about 5 years though.

Earlier tonight she sits close to me and starts touching me up with her feet, I didn't mind, I like feet... so I just caressed her with my free hand and continued to browse gaf.

Then about 2 mins later she gets angry that I'm not hard and starts getting upset that I'm not giving her all of my attention, saying things like "you're not into me at all are you?"

She keeps bringing up and comparing herself to the girls in the ecchi/hentai games I collect...
I keep saying its a fantasy, fiction, that I don't actually expect girls to be like that...
I feel like I'm being blamed for having preferences/fantasies.

I should also point out that I've been fucking chemically castrated and it takes a lot of goddamn effort for me to get aroused, I have to focus like crazy.

I still feel like a scumbag for making her sad though...
 
So there's this girl that apparently lives with me now.
We've become very good friends since she turned up with a switch+zelda a few weeks ago.
I've known her about 5 years though.

Earlier tonight she sits close to me and starts touching me up with her feet, I didn't mind, I like feet... so I just caressed her with my free hand and continued to browse gaf.

Then about 2 mins later she gets angry that I'm not hard and starts getting upset that I'm not giving her all of my attention, saying things like "you're not into me at all are you?"

She keeps bringing up and comparing herself to the girls in the ecchi/hentai games I collect...
I keep saying its a fantasy, fiction, that I don't actually expect girls to be like that...
I feel like I'm being blamed for having preferences/fantasies.

I should also point out that I've been fucking chemically castrated and it takes a lot of goddamn effort for me to get aroused, I have to focus like crazy.

I still feel like a scumbag for making her sad though...

Fuck.
 

Creepy

Member
So barring the peculiarities of your situation, do you want to date her?

You say you were friends and have become very good friends.

I dunno, mostly just don't want to hurt her feelings.
I'm a selfish asshole with a mostly non functioning cock, she can do better than me.
For some reason she likes me...
 
I dunno, mostly just don't want to hurt her feelings.
I'm a selfish asshole with a mostly non functioning cock, she can do better than me.
For some reason she likes me...

If you like her as more than a friend, then tell explain your situation.

If you only like her as a friend, then tell her that.

This might be the easiest case in dating-age history.
 

Creepy

Member
I just did, she says she doesn't want anyone else, she wants me.

she just wishes she was what I wanted...

now I feel like a fucking megashit.

Why does a sweet girl like a fucking weirdo like me?

I cant bring myself to hurt her feelings, I don't wanna lose her either, Fuck it... I'm just gonna go for it...
 

saizo

Member
Ok so it's not really an arranged marriage.

Backstory:
I'm 32, live in NC and my parents live in CA. They've been searching for a potential spouse for me (without being asked to) for a while now and they finally found one through their church network.

So despite my apprehension with the whole situation, I agree and she lives roughly 200 miles away, but since they went through the trouble I tell them that I will put forth an earnest effort.

So we set up a date and I just got back from it. Zero chemistry, but she's never been in a relationship before. I have no physical attraction to her whatsoever and I told my parents this much. They are still pressuring me to continue seeing her.

Now I can give her the benefit of the doubt given that this was our first time ever meeting and she's not had any experience in this sort of thing before.

What I'm wondering is, is it even worth pursuing? We have practically no shared interests.

For the date I took her to a science center with an aquarium, small zoo, museum exhibits; fun stuff and the conversation was largely forced with me keeping it going. There is also a language barrier since she's only been in the country for 7 years and English is not her first language.

I agreed to see her one more time at my parents request, but I did not want to and told them as much. They persisted.
 

Creepy

Member
She's ok with not having sex?

No she's not ok with it, she gets upset that I don't respond to her.

I can have sex, it's just really difficult for me, and its not particularly comfortable. plus I cant err.. "finish".

I have to be in charge of getting myself going, trying to do it for me will not work.
So it's more that spontaneous sex wont really be a thing... I can plan for it.
 
No she's not ok with it, she gets upset that I don't respond to her.

I can have sex, it's just really difficult for me, and its not particularly comfortable. plus I cant err.. "finish".

I have to be in charge of getting myself going, trying to do it for me will not work.
So it's more that spontaneous sex wont really be a thing... I can plan for it.

It sounds like you're incompatible. Probably not a good idea to get involved romantically with her. She'll survive.
Ok so it's not really an arranged marriage.

Backstory:
I'm 32, live in NC and my parents live in CA. They've been searching for a potential spouse for me (without being asked to) for a while now and they finally found one through their church network.

So despite my apprehension with the whole situation, I agree and she lives roughly 200 miles away, but since they went through the trouble I tell them that I will put forth an earnest effort.

So we set up a date and I just got back from it. Zero chemistry, but she's never been in a relationship before. I have no physical attraction to her whatsoever and I told my parents this much. They are still pressuring me to continue seeing her.

Now I can give her the benefit of the doubt given that this was our first time ever meeting and she's not had any experience in this sort of thing before.

What I'm wondering is, is it even worth pursuing? We have practically no shared interests.

For the date I took her to a science center with an aquarium, small zoo, museum exhibits; fun stuff and the conversation was largely forced with me keeping it going. There is also a language barrier since she's only been in the country for 7 years and English is not her first language.

I agreed to see her one more time at my parents request, but I did not want to and told them as much. They persisted.

Meh, I wouldn't. There's nothing there, and continuing to see her only leads on everyone involved.

Is an arranged relationship something you want?
 

saizo

Member
No she's not ok with it, she gets upset that I don't respond to her.

I can have sex, it's just really difficult for me, and its not particularly comfortable. plus I cant err.. "finish".

I have to be in charge of getting myself going, trying to do it for me will not work.
So it's more that spontaneous sex wont really be a thing... I can plan for it.

I've had some issues with that as well, to the point where it was nearly impossible for me to finish with another person.

I can't say what worked form me will work for you, but PM me if you feel like she's understanding enough to work with and if you're curious.

It sounds like you're incompatible. Probably not a good idea to get involved romantically with her. She'll survive.


Meh, I wouldn't. There's nothing there, and continuing to see her only leads on everyone involved.

Is an arranged relationship something you want?

Absolutely not. It was all their idea. I've been dating consistently for the last 8 years without any help.
 
No she's not ok with it, she gets upset that I don't respond to her.

I can have sex, it's just really difficult for me, and its not particularly comfortable. plus I cant err.. "finish".

I have to be in charge of getting myself going, trying to do it for me will not work.
So it's more that spontaneous sex wont really be a thing... I can plan for it.

What's the physical problem exactly?
 

saizo

Member
Do you depend on them for money or something? Otherwise I'd tell them to get lost with the arrangements.

Is it cultural? Religious?

Mostly cultural I guess? They're very traditionally Korean and go to church 3 times a week, but that isn't really the issue I think.

My brother got married when he was the same age I am now. On top of that everyone else in the church that is in my age group has been married for 5 years or somewhere near there.

My sister-in-law doesn't speak Korean at all and they want to have a daughter-in-law they can actually have a conversation with. To complicate that issue I haven't dated a Korean girl since 2002.
 

Creepy

Member
What's the physical problem exactly?

What do you mean?

My problem is that my dick doesn't work properly due to being filled with drugs for years.
Her problem is that she feels I'm severly unattracted to her, due to my inability to get erections and also because she's seen what I "like" and feels inadequate by comparison.
 

Armadilo

Banned
an embarrasing thing happened tonight, some girl was waiting for someone and I thought she was waiting because she wanted to talk to me.

I'm like hello, wait a couple of seconds and she waits for the car.

I leave.

But later I wanted to make sure that she didn't really want to talk to me, because what happened was pretty awkward and left me a bit confused.

I wanted to know that I wasn't an asshole if she really wanted to talk. She would keep looking at me and that's why I thought she was maybe interested.

She said that she was waiting for the car and yeah..
 
an embarrasing thing happened tonight, some girl was waiting for someone and I thought she was waiting because she wanted to talk to me.

I'm like hello, wait a couple of seconds and she waits for the car.

I leave.

But later I wanted to make sure that she didn't really want to talk to me, because what happened was pretty awkward and left me a bit confused.

I wanted to know that I wasn't an asshole if she really wanted to talk. She would keep looking at me and that's why I thought she was maybe interested.

She said that she was waiting for the car and yeah..

That was a slightly weird thing to do, but we've had much worse in here. Sounds like you created a very awkward situation where there was none. Just be cool, man.
 

Hazaro

relies on auto-aim
It's really not that hard to figure out their situation.
Her problem is that she feels I'm severly unattracted to her, due to my inability to get erections and also because she's seen what I "like" and feels inadequate by comparison.
Different people have different levels of needs. If she can't understand a simple concept or accept what you're telling her, anything closer to a real relationship is going to be bad.
Sidenote: (you could take something like cialis if you do preplan to some degree. You might need something extra like HGW or a different thing on top of that.)

Basically it's not your fault she's taking it badly and has a poor image of herself and is making these comparisons. It's just your problem since she's staying in your house. Do what you want. I'd avoid it, but getting attention is a helluva drug.
It's better to cut things here before you enter honeymoon 'wow someone likes me phase' then struggle to get rid of her.
 
Agree 100%

You're already losing your mind over this, and she can't even seem to respect your issues. Cut it off romantically right now.
 
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