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Screenwriting |OT|
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Mike Works
Member
PM me!harSon said:
I seem to be the only using the thread, hopefully some life is breathed into the thread sometime soon.
Anyways, I'm 20 pages into my screenplay. Plan to knock a few more out before I head to bed. I'll probably slow down considerably once I hit the 30-40 page threshold, seeing as the 2nd act tends to be the hardest.
I basically had the 1st act entirely outline, same with the 3rd act. I have an idea of what I want to do with the 2nd, but it's not nearly as fleshed out as the other 2 acts at this point.
Anyways, I'm 20 pages into my screenplay. Plan to knock a few more out before I head to bed. I'll probably slow down considerably once I hit the 30-40 page threshold, seeing as the 2nd act tends to be the hardest.
I basically had the 1st act entirely outline, same with the 3rd act. I have an idea of what I want to do with the 2nd, but it's not nearly as fleshed out as the other 2 acts at this point.
Mike Works
Member
I'm facing a newly-realized problem with my screenplay: it's a psychological horror that mixes elements of a "who dunnit?", the catastrophic elements of Cloverfield (but more detached from the action), and the horror elements of Insidious, but despite the fear and conflict and revelations, there are very few moments in the film where any of the characters are actually getting attacked.
I'm tried to think back to some psychological horror movies that feature more creepiness than straight out danger, and something like The Others came to mind. Unfortunately, most movies I thought of had some form of the characters getting attacked.
In Insidious, for example (and I'm not really spoiling much here, but just in case)
So I'm basically asking whether or not a psychological horror ala The Others, Insidious, etc. need to have the characters get "attacked" throughout the film.
Don't get me wrong, the majority of the characters in my flick will probably get killed off, but it's by a looming threat (this isn't a creature-feature) and one that can't be showcased/revealed until the last act.
So yeah, any general input from you movie/writing buffs would be appreciated.
harSon: I typed out a reply to your PM and my browser lost it. I'll try to re-type it when I get the time.
I'm tried to think back to some psychological horror movies that feature more creepiness than straight out danger, and something like The Others came to mind. Unfortunately, most movies I thought of had some form of the characters getting attacked.
In Insidious, for example (and I'm not really spoiling much here, but just in case)
the parents repeatedly have ghosts/demons jump out at them in the first half of the movie. Even though none of these things actually physically hurt them, that element is still present in the film.
So I'm basically asking whether or not a psychological horror ala The Others, Insidious, etc. need to have the characters get "attacked" throughout the film.
Don't get me wrong, the majority of the characters in my flick will probably get killed off, but it's by a looming threat (this isn't a creature-feature) and one that can't be showcased/revealed until the last act.
So yeah, any general input from you movie/writing buffs would be appreciated.
harSon: I typed out a reply to your PM and my browser lost it. I'll try to re-type it when I get the time.
Ventilaator
Banned
I have approximately half a gajillion separate ideas in all corners of my head. I also have Final Draft installed which I'm not doing much with because I find it hard to sit down and focus on one of those and get something actually finished. This thread sure is kicking me the more I read it - that's very welcome. I actually started writing something again.
Fidelis Hodie
Infidelis Cras
Yo.
So, I don't know how many of you have carried over from The Gaf Video and Filmmaking Thread or from the terribly, yet wonderfully, failed thread of my first attempt at a feature . .
But I'm in the process of finishing a tried and true second draft of a feature I'm really pumped about. It's not one I can exactly make based on monetary constrictions of needing way more than outside of my current means, but if anyone would like to take a crack at reading it I'd love to have the fresh feedback.
Basically . . it's Jackass meets Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Yes, I mean that. Yes, I know. It's already registered with the WGAWest and I'm almost at the point of attempting real screenwriting contests/sending to potential agents to get rep. and investors to make an attempt at straight up garnering interest in doing it myself.
Anyways. If anyone would like a crack at it (115 pages I think?) let me know. I'd love the feedback.
So, I don't know how many of you have carried over from The Gaf Video and Filmmaking Thread or from the terribly, yet wonderfully, failed thread of my first attempt at a feature . .
But I'm in the process of finishing a tried and true second draft of a feature I'm really pumped about. It's not one I can exactly make based on monetary constrictions of needing way more than outside of my current means, but if anyone would like to take a crack at reading it I'd love to have the fresh feedback.
Basically . . it's Jackass meets Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Yes, I mean that. Yes, I know. It's already registered with the WGAWest and I'm almost at the point of attempting real screenwriting contests/sending to potential agents to get rep. and investors to make an attempt at straight up garnering interest in doing it myself.
Anyways. If anyone would like a crack at it (115 pages I think?) let me know. I'd love the feedback.
5 years ago I wrote a comedy about a Chucky Cheese-esque place haunted by the ghost of a kid who died in the ball-pit. My dream is for it to someday get made, but it'd be pretty expensive and the premise is so "out there" that it'd be impossible to find backers.
I'm really itching to start writing again. I've got some new ideas for more surreal, dark comedies that I'd love to get down on paper.
I'm really itching to start writing again. I've got some new ideas for more surreal, dark comedies that I'd love to get down on paper.
Thomas Lennon and Ben Garant have a new book about screenwriting -- or maybe more accurately getting hired to screenwrite. It is supposed to be very enlightening.
Mike Works
Member
Why do you think it'd be expensive?Adam J. said:
Scullibundo said:I suggest anybody looking to write for the screen pick up two books:
saw this book in a bookstore, was kinda expensive. Didn't find it in my local lib either.
what do you think abt this book, sculli? apparently cameron sweared by it (according to wiki)
this was also cheaper.
SCULLIBUNDO
Banned
Mike Works said:
I'm guessing because below the ball-pit is a worm-hole that leads to another planet whose lithosphere actually lines the outside of the planet, keeping the inhabitants in eternal darkness, and thus its up to Chucky Cheese boy to break through the surface and show them the light in a high octane, sweeping sci-fi.
dmshaposv: NFI, I've never read that book.
Mike Works said:
i didn't read your spoiler since I havent seen insidious yet.
By "whodunit" are you trying to establish that one of the characters is the reason others are getting attacked? This could add some "The Thing" esque tension amongst the charcters as they come at loggerheads with each other.
Something becomes creepy when it goes unexplained and unnoticed and evokes an emotional or visceral response from your characters. I also think if you want to show a "looming threat" you'd want to show whatever the peril it is throughout the movie rather than the last act. Something that has been there from the start and we've got glimpses yet not realized its true nature would creep us out more than something we expect to be revealed towards the end.
Fidelis Hodie
Infidelis Cras
Mr. Sam said:
Sent.
British Monsoon
Member
Ohhh, nice idea for a thread - I don't have much experience with script writing, but penned a script for a 15 minute short film as part of my creative writing course this year. If anyone doesn't mind reading it I'd appreciate any advice you can give on dialogue and format (although Tidypub ruined my formatting, the dialogue is meant to be centred);
http://www.tidypub.org/ZXVcQ
http://www.tidypub.org/ZXVcQ
Ventilaator
Banned
Felt like writing something so I opened up Final Draft, hit new project and started something from scratch to see where I end up.
I...ended up with talking toilet paper and had to stop.
I...ended up with talking toilet paper and had to stop.
AlteredBeast
Fork 'em, Sparky!
this thread makes me want to dust the old screenplay off and start writing again. This is one of the funniest movies of all time...if I could only put my somewhat disjointed thought processes together.
Ventilaator
Banned
Nix said:
Well, what if I told you that each sheet of toilet paper is a separate individual being, and being on a roll is the most troubling experience you can imagine. You are sitting in a line and waiting your turn, seeing everyone ahead of you being covered with shit and then drowned.
They are miserable.
SCULLIBUNDO
Banned
harSon said:
That is incredibly good. These days I'm lucky to get 2 pages a day out with the amount of fucking around I've been doing the past few weeks.
Scullibundo said:
I'm at around 33 pages in now, but am at a complete standstill. I can't think of a way to handle some much needed exposition without it coming off as overly lame. I'm waiting for a eureka moment, but it won't come
Can anyone point me to a science fiction film with some interesting exposition? Something like The Matrix.
SCULLIBUNDO
Banned
Ha, that is exactly why I've been stuck so long. It ain't easy trying to explain a complex idea that defines your universe, without it coming off as forced.
Oh hey, what an appropriate topic for a film student, such as myself.
I recently (read: two days ago) finished my first draft of a feature I plan on directing sometime in the not-so-distant-future.
It's a dark comedy.
What I can tell you from the various classes I've taken. Formatting isn't the major difference between a screenplay and traditional form (although it's the most evident). You really have to think visually, and use your words carefully. The less action, the better.
All about dat dialogue.
There isn't a right or wrong way of doing this, but this seems to be what works for me.
Just write it. It's going to be contrived, but at least you don't dwell on it and you move on. And whatever you do, keep moving forward. Just make little notes about what you want to change. Then, when you're done with your first draft, it'll act like a roadmap and you can go in there and omit, alter, and add as much as you want.
I struggled immensely with my first feature script because I re-wrote the same 20 pages about 12 times before I moved on. By the end of the script, I was exhausted and hated the script. Haven't touched it since. It's much more fun to go the other way around.
I recently (read: two days ago) finished my first draft of a feature I plan on directing sometime in the not-so-distant-future.
It's a dark comedy.
What I can tell you from the various classes I've taken. Formatting isn't the major difference between a screenplay and traditional form (although it's the most evident). You really have to think visually, and use your words carefully. The less action, the better.
All about dat dialogue.
harSon said:
There isn't a right or wrong way of doing this, but this seems to be what works for me.
Just write it. It's going to be contrived, but at least you don't dwell on it and you move on. And whatever you do, keep moving forward. Just make little notes about what you want to change. Then, when you're done with your first draft, it'll act like a roadmap and you can go in there and omit, alter, and add as much as you want.
I struggled immensely with my first feature script because I re-wrote the same 20 pages about 12 times before I moved on. By the end of the script, I was exhausted and hated the script. Haven't touched it since. It's much more fun to go the other way around.
SCULLIBUNDO
Banned
harSon said:
I won't ever let anybody read something unless its complete. I'd be wary even giving a first draft to anybody.
toythatkills
Member
Scullibundo said:
It kind of depends. If you can already write, then doing a degree in screenwriting will teach you how to structure and write scripts well that agents will want to read, and will probably teach you a lot about how to get eyes on your script. If you can't write, no degree in writing will change that. The best advice is to just write something every single day for the next six months or a year or something. If you can do it, then take the degree. If you can't do it, then the degree would likely be a waste of your time.24FrameDaVinci said:
I've got this book and it's great. You'll learn a lot about structure and stuff, and just knowing that makes scripts much easier to write. You can have a few plot points in your head, and the structure kind of fills in the blanks so you know where to go. It's a great thing to have if you're starting out.dmshaposv said:what do you think abt this book, sculli? apparently cameron sweared by it (according to wiki)
And please, people, CODE TAGS FOR SCRIPT EXCERPTS! This is a bit of a thing I wrote for Script Frenzy. It's not good, but look how nicely it's formatted!
Code:
CHALLIS
Evening, Mr Devlin. I believe you
told us to 'come back with a
warrant,' and so here we are.
RAY
What? Why?
CHALLIS
Just to have a look around, is all.
Just to have a little look around.
Lads?
Three policemen walk past Ray into the house. Two of them
head upstairs, and Policeman #2 heads into the kitchen. Ray
watches him head that way.
RAY
(annoyed)
Two sugars, thanks.
(to Challis)
It's nearly eleven o'clock. What
are you doing here?
CHALLIS
I believe I've answered that
already, do you mind?
He beckons with his head past Ray and into the house. Ray
steps aside.
RAY
I mean why? What are you looking
for? I haven't even done anything.
All I did was try to help that guy
when he came round.
CHALLIS
Do you know how long I've been on
the police force, Mr Devlin?
RAY
Of course I don't.
CHALLIS
Thirty years. That's more years
than you've been alive. In that
time, I've learned that when people
don't want you to look around,
that's usually because they've got
something they don't want you to
find.
RAY
I just don't want people snooping.
I'm private. That's all it is.
You're not going to find anything
here.
Challis walks into the living room, and Ray follows him.
Challis notices the television, which is showing the rest of
the day's news.
CHALLIS
Ah, watching the news were you?
Keeping abreast of the whole
situation?
RAY
I was just watching the news. It's
what people do.
CHALLIS
Yeah. I take it you saw the press
conference?
RAY
Yes.
CHALLIS
Yeah, not my finest moment, that.
Should have seen the footage we
stopped the press taking away.
RAY
I really don't care about the press
conference.
CHALLIS
Okay, okay, you were watching it
for the other news. So, what else
has been happening in the world
today?
RAY
What?
CHALLIS
Just making conversation, I've been
in meetings all day, feeling a bit
out of the loop, and since you've
been keeping up to date on world
events you can let me know what's
been happening.
RAY
I don't know. You came to the door
after the stuff about the girl was
on.
CHALLIS
Angela?
RAY
Yes.
CHALLIS
When did she become 'the girl?'
RAY
I couldn't remember her name.
CHALLIS
Really? Because it's written on
that newspaper there.
Challis points to the newspaper.
RAY
Yes. Really. Sorry. I didn't really
consider her a major factor in my
life until you just showed up at my
door.
CHALLIS
She lived just a few streets away,
is all.
RAY
So?
CHALLIS
Nothing, nothing.
Challis starts to look around the room, while Ray looks on
in silence.
CHALLIS
Anything strange happen to you
today?
RAY
Aside from this? Look, how long is
this going to take?
CHALLIS
Yeah, aside from this.
RAY
Shouldn't you be out looking for
Angela?
CHALLIS
Oh, she's Angela, now?
RAY
Yes! What am I supposed to do,
here? Whatever I say is wrong. I
don't know what I'm supposed to say
to you.
CHALLIS
You could answer the question.
RAY
What question?
CHALLIS
Has anything strange happened to
you today?
RAY
No, not really. I'm off work this
week so I've just been watching TV,
unless you're going to test me on
that, too.
CHALLIS
Didn't you say you went to work on
the day Angela went missing?
RAY
Did I?
CHALLIS
Did you?
RAY
I don't know, I can't remember.
CHALLIS
You can't remember whether you went
to work?
RAY
I can't remember what I told you.
CHALLIS
Well, there's nothing to remember
if you told us the truth, is there,
Mr Devlin?
RAY
Look, stop this amateur psychology
bullshit, will you? It's late, and
I'm tired. If my answers are
strange it's because I want to go
to bed.
CHALLIS
Of course, I'm sorry, anyway, the
reason I ask is-
RAY
The reason you ask what?
CHALLIS
If anything strange happened today.
RAY
Oh.
CHALLIS
The reason I ask is that your
phone's off the hook, and that's
quite odd.
RAY
Oh, that.
CHALLIS
That?
RAY
Yeah, I got a couple of weird
phonecalls.
CHALLIS
Weird how?
RAY
The person on the other end didn't
speak, must have been a bad line or
something.
CHALLIS
So then you took the phone off the
hook?
RAY
Yes. It was annoying. I was trying
to read and they kept disturbing
me.
CHALLIS
Did you report them?
RAY
To who?
CHALLIS
Us? Or to the phone company, if it
was a bad line.
RAY
No, I just took the phone off the
hook.
CHALLIS
How many were there?
RAY
What?
CHALLIS
Calls. How many were there?
RAY
Two.
CHALLIS
That's it?
RAY
That was annoying enough, yes.
Maybe I have a low tolerance for
being annoyed.
CHALLIS
Excuse me?
RAY
Nothing.
CHALLIS
So, what if it was something
important?
Policeman #2 returns from the kitchen.
RAY
Then I'm sure they would have
contacted me some other way. Have
you finished, yet?
Challis looks to Policeman #2.
POLICEMAN #2
All clear.
RAY
I told you it would be. Want to get
them from upstairs as well?
Challis nods to Policeman #2, who heads upstairs to fetch
them.
RAY
Is this going to stop, now?
CHALLIS
Of course, if nothing turns up
upstairs.
RAY
It won't.SCULLIBUNDO
Banned
So a week ago my mum went to LA, so while her place is empty I've been heading over there every day of the week with my laptop and no internet access and have been averaging 4 - 6 pages a day.
She's gone for a whole month and so my goal is to have pumped out 80 pages by the month's end.
I've also found my cure to my lack of motivation apart from a location change. A 750ml double espresso.
She's gone for a whole month and so my goal is to have pumped out 80 pages by the month's end.
I've also found my cure to my lack of motivation apart from a location change. A 750ml double espresso.
SCULLIBUNDO
Banned
48 pages in and have now started my second act. Seems like a long way in to only have just started the second act, but everything is actually going to plan as I estimate the finished script will hover around 145 pages.
In the midst of a montage sequence that is suppose to span years, so today's work went kinda slowly as big decisions are made.
In the midst of a montage sequence that is suppose to span years, so today's work went kinda slowly as big decisions are made.
Napoleonthechimp
Member
I tend to use subplots at the end of act one and through act two when the main plot begins to sag a little bit. They tie together naturally in act three.harSon said:
Are people writing without outlining or writing a treatment? For me the actual process of writing the screenplay is the last thing that I do.
toythatkills
Member
This seems a strange way of doing things. If your main plot is beginning to sag, you should really try to work out why and fix it, rather than try to hide it.Napoleonthechimp said:
SCULLIBUNDO
Banned
Napoleonthechimp said:
Nope, I wrote an outline detailed outline long before this. Never had the time to finally write the script until recently. Had written some of the first act the better half of three years ago.
Exciting times.
Napoleonthechimp
Member
It depends on the story. Sometimes a change of pace is needed to reduce fatigue with the main plot.toythatkills said:
Jo Shishido's Cheeks
Member
I'm going to get off my ass and begin writing shortly as it's about time I did something with my time.....
One thing though, the idea I have has a little problem. See, it has no dialogue. None whatsoever, not one single word. How do I write this? I fear I'll be overly descriptive to compensate for the lack of dialogue and so it will end up reading like a short story rather than a script.
Anybody got any tips?
One thing though, the idea I have has a little problem. See, it has no dialogue. None whatsoever, not one single word. How do I write this? I fear I'll be overly descriptive to compensate for the lack of dialogue and so it will end up reading like a short story rather than a script.
Anybody got any tips?
akachan ningen
Member
pretend you're watching the movie. what are the characters saying?Jo Shishido's Cheeks said:
Jo Shishido's Cheeks
Member
Oh no it's not that I can't think of any dialogue.
It's just that there is literally no dialogue!
There's nothing to be said.
It's primarily about somebody who lives alone and has blocked off all human contact.
So my dilemma is how to present this on the page?
With no dialogue and just simple location descriptions the script will be extremely short and will rely on huge chunks of exposition, turning into into a short story of sorts rather than a script.
It needs to be a script though as I intend to film it someday...
It's just that there is literally no dialogue!
There's nothing to be said.
It's primarily about somebody who lives alone and has blocked off all human contact.
So my dilemma is how to present this on the page?
With no dialogue and just simple location descriptions the script will be extremely short and will rely on huge chunks of exposition, turning into into a short story of sorts rather than a script.
It needs to be a script though as I intend to film it someday...
akachan ningen
Member
Jo Shishido's Cheeks said:
That's not a problem. as long as you know what you're going to film, it doesn't matter how you present it on the page. Eraserhead was only 21 pages long and the movie lasted 90 minutes. It had very little dialogue.
Anton Sugar
Member
What's your conflict? A man living alone in a room isn't a movie. What's the script about?
Jo Shishido's Cheeks
Member
Ah gotcha! Thanks that example has put me at ease. As long as it's not completely unheard of then that's fine, bonus is it should't take me too long to put togetherakachan ningen said:
Oh really? Why can't a man living alone in a room be a (short) film?Mr. Snrub said:
The film is essentially about communication and see's an old-fashioned man's attempts to communicate with a modern society he is no longer a part of and has gotten left behind by. It's extremely visual and I'm thinking of it in directors terms rather than writers terms admittedly. There is communication with the audience in the form of things he writes down and we delve into who the character is and relationships he's had previously by the people he writes too, the 'conflict' as such comes when he tries changing his persona/identity to conform with a society he doesn't truly understand.
But yes, on the surface we have a man sitting in a room alone writing letters. The ending of the film is triggered by him leaving the room. It's on this simplistic base that I have some pretty grand visual ideas however.....
Do you think it wouldn't work? Any advice is appreciated
Anton Sugar
Member
Jo Shishido's Cheeks said:Oh really? Why can't a man living alone in a room be a (short) film?
The film is essentially about communication and see's an old-fashioned man's attempts to communicate with a modern society he is no longer a part of and has gotten left behind by. It's extremely visual and I'm thinking of it in directors terms rather than writers terms admittedly. There is communication with the audience in the form of things he writes down and we delve into who the character is and relationships he's had previously by the people he writes too, the 'conflict' as such comes when he tries changing his persona/identity to conform with a society he doesn't truly understand.
But yes, on the surface we have a man sitting in a room alone writing letters. The ending of the film is triggered by him leaving the room. It's on this simplistic base that I have some pretty grand visual ideas however.....
Do you think it wouldn't work? Any advice is appreciated
Oh no, didn't mean to imply it couldn't be done, just didn't know what the story is about.
I think it would be difficult to do. Having the audience read his letters isn't something you'd want to rely on for all of your exposition, and while you could do voiceovers, you'd have the same problem: you're being told the story.
It's doable, though. What is the nature of the letters? Are they apologetic? Redemptive? Angry? If the story is based on his lack of communication/"hermitification", you could have flashbacks come through as a way of being "haunted" by his memories, showing his insecurity with the outside world.
Jo Shishido's Cheeks
Member
That's a fear of mine, having people reject it outright after expecting them to effectively read the whole film for themselves. This again though is something I wish to comment on regarding modern methods of communication and as such the concept/technique of delivering everything through written word is crucial to what I'm trying to say above and beyond the story I'm presenting. That's why voice-overs would be out also, though I am juggling the idea of having anything he receives being heard in voiceover and anything he writes being seen and not heard, though this doesn't really serve any purpose other than to break up any assumed mundanity.Mr. Snrub said:
The letters are mainly apologetic and eventually redemptive (though not how we initially think) as he's using them to try to build bridges / rebuild relationships that he's lost, or in one case that he's never had in the first place but deeply wants (romantic interest). We have no idea initially of who he is (he doesn't even have a name) where he's come from or what's he's done, both to be in the position he's in and to those around him.
I do constantly think 'why would people care though?' I mean we never get this guys name or even hear his voice once!
In fact the majority of the sound will be pen scratches on paper (or perhaps a typewriter, not quite sure how 'old-fashioned' a guy I'm pushing for yet) but I'm hoping my visual ideas and tricks pull me though.....
Mike Works
Member
I have a question I was hoping some of you guys could help me with. I've been working on a script outline for the past month and I've hit a complete wall regarding a key point:
I have a major plot point happen right in the middle of the screenplay. I've got a great scene for Plot Point 1 and a pretty good revelation for Plot Point 2, but this one scene/instance fits perfectly smack-dab in the middle of the screenplay.
So my question is... is that okay? I know that these pacing rules aren't set in stone, but I can't see this scene/instance happening anywhere else.
So, opinions, advice?
I have a major plot point happen right in the middle of the screenplay. I've got a great scene for Plot Point 1 and a pretty good revelation for Plot Point 2, but this one scene/instance fits perfectly smack-dab in the middle of the screenplay.
So my question is... is that okay? I know that these pacing rules aren't set in stone, but I can't see this scene/instance happening anywhere else.
So, opinions, advice?
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