Was dating an amazing girl for a while who I rarely got to see.
One random weekend my Ex GF came back into my life out of nowhere, sorry for all past faults and promising she'd changed. I believed her and we hooked up.
After the weekend I began to doubt this move, and told the girl I was dating what happened. She was flabbergasted and stopped talking to me.
Pissed off I argued with my Ex about what she'd done, even though it was my fault.
I didn't hear from the girl for 2 weeks, and became upset with myself, and lonely. Started to talk to the Ex more and hooked up with her again. This time it felt like we were back in a relationship.
Fast forward a week. Same old same old shit that led to our breakup in the first place. Money arguments, me valuing alone time, me not being 100% comfortable with her pets. A bunch of non-starters and a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach of "If I get her pregnant I'm going to be miserable forever" and "If we get married someday we'll probably get a divorce later on". That stuff. While she was blissful I'd forgiven her and gotten back with her.
Note about my Ex: She split with me, out of nowhere, 2 years ago, and ran off and married another woman. They are now getting a divorce, and still in the process of filing that paperwork.
Over all this, I drove over to her place and broke up with her once and for all today. She didn't like my explanation why. I told her we always argue. She said we didn't. I told her I'm not even close to wanting marriage or kids. She said neither is she. I told her it just didn't feel right. She said ok see ya and slammed the door.
We were borrowing each other's stuff. I won't get it back. I already started to buy replacements. I am going to leave her stuff at her doorstep tomorrow though. I don't steal shit.
The girl I was dating texted with me today. Letting me know that she likes me a lot. We'd been going together for months now. She said I was the first person she truly saw a future with. She suffers from depression herself in the past.
Today I texted the full story to her. How I had sex with my ex while we weren't talking. I never expect to hear back from her. I just made my peace, crafted the full story text and hit send.
And now I'm here. I cried and screamed into my pillow for a few minutes. I had everything and then my damn leftover emotions took over and made me nostalgic for when me and my Ex were happy.
I'm the only one to blame. I feel like a lying cheating piece of human garbage. I'm only angry at myself. And I realize now that I really don't deserve a partner or kids. I probably need to be alone now. I was even considering getting a pet, but I don't think they deserve me either.
I hate this.
Sorry for the vent. No one else is intuned to my personal life. Not even my Dad or brother know about the people I date. But I needed to tell someone else this story.
I hope everyone else here looks at their own relationships and appreciates them. Don't ever hurt people. People that are kind to you. Don't betray them. And to the people that have hurt you in the past, don't jump back into it with them. People don't change easily.
One random weekend my Ex GF came back into my life out of nowhere, sorry for all past faults and promising she'd changed. I believed her and we hooked up.
After the weekend I began to doubt this move, and told the girl I was dating what happened. She was flabbergasted and stopped talking to me.
Pissed off I argued with my Ex about what she'd done, even though it was my fault.
I didn't hear from the girl for 2 weeks, and became upset with myself, and lonely. Started to talk to the Ex more and hooked up with her again. This time it felt like we were back in a relationship.
Fast forward a week. Same old same old shit that led to our breakup in the first place. Money arguments, me valuing alone time, me not being 100% comfortable with her pets. A bunch of non-starters and a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach of "If I get her pregnant I'm going to be miserable forever" and "If we get married someday we'll probably get a divorce later on". That stuff. While she was blissful I'd forgiven her and gotten back with her.
Note about my Ex: She split with me, out of nowhere, 2 years ago, and ran off and married another woman. They are now getting a divorce, and still in the process of filing that paperwork.
Over all this, I drove over to her place and broke up with her once and for all today. She didn't like my explanation why. I told her we always argue. She said we didn't. I told her I'm not even close to wanting marriage or kids. She said neither is she. I told her it just didn't feel right. She said ok see ya and slammed the door.
We were borrowing each other's stuff. I won't get it back. I already started to buy replacements. I am going to leave her stuff at her doorstep tomorrow though. I don't steal shit.
The girl I was dating texted with me today. Letting me know that she likes me a lot. We'd been going together for months now. She said I was the first person she truly saw a future with. She suffers from depression herself in the past.
Today I texted the full story to her. How I had sex with my ex while we weren't talking. I never expect to hear back from her. I just made my peace, crafted the full story text and hit send.
And now I'm here. I cried and screamed into my pillow for a few minutes. I had everything and then my damn leftover emotions took over and made me nostalgic for when me and my Ex were happy.
I'm the only one to blame. I feel like a lying cheating piece of human garbage. I'm only angry at myself. And I realize now that I really don't deserve a partner or kids. I probably need to be alone now. I was even considering getting a pet, but I don't think they deserve me either.
I hate this.
Sorry for the vent. No one else is intuned to my personal life. Not even my Dad or brother know about the people I date. But I needed to tell someone else this story.
I hope everyone else here looks at their own relationships and appreciates them. Don't ever hurt people. People that are kind to you. Don't betray them. And to the people that have hurt you in the past, don't jump back into it with them. People don't change easily.
