Durrzerker
Banned
nah, always found the concept kinda silly.
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Will you tell your kid/future kid that Santa is real?
- Thread starter Supast4r
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my parents had to break it up to me in that awkward conversation mentioned in the OP, when I was 7.
me: err... why would you lie to me all these years?
parents: we wanted you to believe in something nice and enjoy chritsmas.
me: but...why make someone believe in something that isn't real? what's the point?
parents:.. shrug.
I guess I was just too stupid at that age to figure it out by myself.
er whatever, I guess I took it the wrong way, of course there was no ill-intent from my parents so it's just a funny, curious thing from the past
You can tell them that Santa Claus is based on a real person named Saint Nicholas who lived hundreds of years ago and gave gifts to children, and we honor his memory by dressing up like him in malls across America.
Now if they get pissy because they're missing out on one lousy gift, they're just ungrateful little assholes.
Now if they get pissy because they're missing out on one lousy gift, they're just ungrateful little assholes.
Isn't that a separate issue though?
Kids believe most of what their parents say at that age, it's not really make believe.
I don't think you should never ever lie, I specifically said that I think there are exceptions to this.
And I don't think it's an egregious lie or anything, far from it, I think this is mostly harmless, I just think that you need a good reason to lie to you kids, and I'm not sure I'm seeing it here. As I said, I think the truth that your parents loves you very much and buys you gifts is cooler than an magical old man in the sky who reward good behavior with material gifts.
No.
Being Jewish can mean two things - following the Jewish religion or being of Jewish descent. I'm the latter. You can ask why the fact that my great great grandparents where at some point religious Jews is a terribly important distinction, and that's a good question actually, but it's probably better saved for a different thread.
I absolutely plan to tell my child that Santa is real. I loved the idea of Santa as a child and I think it's an incredible "game" to share with them. Also, I didn't harbor any resentment towards my parents when they told me the truth, so I hope for a similar reaction from my child. I recognized it as a fun thing that we all pretended together and learning the truth (but being told not to break it to younger children) felt like I was growing up and being let in on the secret.
Edit: I think its way more important to be honest with your child about stuff that matters like sex and mistakes you made growing up. My parents were very open with my and my brother and I've always respected that. I never look back and think: "Well they were honest about drugs and sex, but they're still nothing but liars, because of Santa!"
Edit: I think its way more important to be honest with your child about stuff that matters like sex and mistakes you made growing up. My parents were very open with my and my brother and I've always respected that. I never look back and think: "Well they were honest about drugs and sex, but they're still nothing but liars, because of Santa!"
The "lie" doesn't come from just their parents, though. All (or I guess, more accurately, most) of society is in on it. It's a bit different than your parents teaching you in private that the world is flat to fuck with you. This is a societal conspiracy.
Well, the overwhelming reason you're hearing in this thread is that the reason people do it is because they believe their kids will enjoy the lie, and those feelings seem to stem from people remembeing enjoying the "lie" themselves as a kid.
To your second point - those aren't mutually exclusive ideas, though. I got presents from santa and my parents (and brothers and sisters, too).
I apologize, I really didn't understand your distinction. I didn't mean any offense.
Sometimes I hate NeoGAF.
Thank you.
We always did.
At the same time we made sure some gifts had from mom n dad. Over time less gifts were from Santa and more were from mom n dad.
By the time we decided they were old enough to know it wasn't that big a deal.
Like the tooth fairy, easter bunny, etc. With them it was even less of an issue.
At the same time we made sure some gifts had from mom n dad. Over time less gifts were from Santa and more were from mom n dad.
By the time we decided they were old enough to know it wasn't that big a deal.
Like the tooth fairy, easter bunny, etc. With them it was even less of an issue.
Escape Goat
Member
Let kids have a sense of awe and wonder for as long as they can afford to. Unless they're in high school.
My mom always made me feel shitty by telling me how expensive were the gifts they bought and how I'd better appreciate them. That's great right.
pinkurocket
Member
I would, it's part of the fantasy that creates great moments in childhood. It's like a fairytale, something make-believe that brings joy. I don't see the harm. If you raise your child well enough, once they find out santa's not real, they should still appreciate your efforts. It's about rewarding good behaviour, not just about the gifts. If you don't spoil your child, it should be fine.
Just tell them that Mr. Santa and Ms. Santa divorced, and that Mr. Santa took it really hard. So he said, "I don't want to give presents anymore. From now on I'm looking after number one". So he shaved his beard, got a tan, started coloring his hair blond, married a younger woman. Ultimately he then ran for office and got elected president. Oh, and he stopped going by his Santa moniker and instead went back to his legal birth name of Donald John Trump.
Phoenix RISING
Banned
We told our kids that there was no such thing as Santa from the jump.
No way that we're going to allow a fictional character take credit for what my wife and I, and our parents have done.
No way that we're going to allow a fictional character take credit for what my wife and I, and our parents have done.
HawksWinStanley
Member
Of course I'll let them believe it. If it gives them a reason to be good and I can pull the "Santa's watching" card when they're being dicks then I'm all for it. I have no problem lying to my kids.
Non taken.
It's quite a common distinction by the way, for example, Larry David and Carl Sagan are Jewish but not religious. You can read more about it here.
As for the other stuff, I doubt we'll come to an agreement, and wasn't really my goal, I was trying to understand where people are coming from, and I think you articulate your position quite well.
p.s.
I do take minor exception at you putting scare quotes around "lie", telling someone Santa is real is a lie, straight up. But that's a minor pedantic point.
Shouldn't they already feel watched because you are their parents? Why should you have to make up a fictions figure for this to happen?
Gravy Boat
Member
Seeing my daughter getting excited for Santa and the joy when she gets her presents is worth way more to me than getting credit for buying them.
names2hard4you
Member
Not only would you be spoiling your kid of the Christmas fun, but your kid would be that one annoying friend we all had in the past, telling everyone in the playground Santa isn't real. Don't be that parent with that kid.
InfiniteBento
Member
If I ever decide to destroy my beautiful uterus for a new tiny human, I probably wouldn't tell them anything until they became curious enough themselves to ask or snoop to figure it out.
As a father of 2, the Santa fantasy is brilliant. It brings magic into this time of year and the look on their face when they see that Santa has been is amazing. I can't think it would have the same effect if they knew the toys under the tree were only from friend and family. I get a kick out of sending them replies to their Santa letters and letting their imaginations run wild with thoughts of what the elves are doing to wrap their present. If a twinkle in the night sky is Santa doing a practise run and everything that goes with it.
Santa may not be real but he does make the season magical and I'm cool with that.
Santa may not be real but he does make the season magical and I'm cool with that.
George Washington
Member
Yes so they can enjoy the fun while it lasts before they outgrow it.
It's like if a child asks you what happens when someone dies.
Do you tell them that people go to heaven or instead, they just die and there's nothing more to it besides decomposition of the body?
While I don't like peddling lies; sometimes the psyche is more important for your child. Later on you can tell them the truth and why you lied at the time.
It's like if a child asks you what happens when someone dies.
Do you tell them that people go to heaven or instead, they just die and there's nothing more to it besides decomposition of the body?
While I don't like peddling lies; sometimes the psyche is more important for your child. Later on you can tell them the truth and why you lied at the time.
Hypemaster
Member
Lol I remember as a young kid I didn't fall for the santa myth and told my friend at his house that "you know santa isn't real right?". His father wasn't too pleased and on the side had to let me know not mention that to his son.
17 Seconds
Banned
please don't rob your child of great childhood stuff
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
This is where I'm at. When I was toying with the idea of having kids in my late 20s I was against the Santa idea because it was a lie and I wasn't going to have MY kids be a party to some ridiculous farce. And then I got older and remembered that whatever I think about Santa now, I really enjoyed it as a kid and finding out he wasn't real didn't come as a betrayal or some horrible warping of my child mind. It's a harmless tradition, especially if you don't go nuts with it (thinking one gift from 'Santa'?). I plan to teach my daughter that the idea of Christmas is about being kind, charitable, and giving to others, etc., but I won't deprive her of the joy of Santa. Being a kid is supposed to be about fantasy and wonder.
And I agree with Keri. It's more important to be honest with your kids about the stuff that really matters like sex, drugs, alcohol, etc.
This so much. When its put out there that Santa is real by others, why not just play along until you feel the time is right to tell them the truth?
Damn...this too.
dreamcastmaster
Banned
I hope a you anti-santas are not telling your kids god is real too.
entremet
Member
I mean, that's a separate discussion because many parents are going to inform their worldview on their children by osmosis alone.
And to them, it's not really lying if we're talking about religious faith.
But again that's a whole 'nother can of worms.
yanipheonu
Member
My parents did the "Santa is a manifestation of the spirit of giving inside of all of us" thing.
It actually worked, IMO. Makes you realize there's more to faith than just hoping you go to heaven and get rewarded. There's an effectual truth as well that can make people better than they were without it.
It actually worked, IMO. Makes you realize there's more to faith than just hoping you go to heaven and get rewarded. There's an effectual truth as well that can make people better than they were without it.
The other day my kids said to me "Dad, Santa has to be real because you couldn't afford all those presents," heh.
But it goes to why I like the Santa thing at least when the kids are young. I'm stingy with gifts and treats the whole rest of the year and Santa allows me to spoil them for one day without the gifts being from me, so to speak. I mean, they are good kids, I like getting them toys and video games, but they know it's a once a year thing so they don't expect me to buy them every little thing they want all the time. With the toys being from "Santa" it reinforces the special nature of it. Even as they get older and realize that it's me buying them those gifts they will still know that a $60 video game is not something I would buy them normally but something Santa would bring at the end of the year. Anyways that's the way I look at it but I'm kind of muddling through his parenting thing as I go along and I think whatever people feel is best when it comes to Santa they should do.
But it goes to why I like the Santa thing at least when the kids are young. I'm stingy with gifts and treats the whole rest of the year and Santa allows me to spoil them for one day without the gifts being from me, so to speak. I mean, they are good kids, I like getting them toys and video games, but they know it's a once a year thing so they don't expect me to buy them every little thing they want all the time. With the toys being from "Santa" it reinforces the special nature of it. Even as they get older and realize that it's me buying them those gifts they will still know that a $60 video game is not something I would buy them normally but something Santa would bring at the end of the year. Anyways that's the way I look at it but I'm kind of muddling through his parenting thing as I go along and I think whatever people feel is best when it comes to Santa they should do.
Dude Abides
Banned
I was telling my two year old about Santa the other day and she got very upset that some stranger was going to break into her apartment at night.
The tooth fairy is hard to pull off. My kids picked up on that one early on. It's really hard to stealthily get a tooth from under a sleeping kids pillow.
Ascenion
Member
Santa is absolutely real and my kids will not be deprived of that joy. Lighten up guys, if you actual think you will never lie to your kids you're lying to yourself. Plus when you tell them Santa isn't real you make other kids lives suck because they tell their friends. If you're gonna be a unfun parent at least make sure your kid isn't a meany and ruins it for others. Keep it to yourself.
Yes, my kid believes in Santa. I tell my kid that the reason other kids don't believe is because their parents and grandparents were SO naughty, that Santa vowed to never give them presents ever again, and those families hide this truth by buying presents and pretending they're from Santa so as not to let on to the fact that their family is doomed to a Santa-less future for eternity.
But she's 3 so she doesn't know what the fuck I'm talking about, and just wants a goddamn Puppy Surprise.
I always knew Santa wasn't real but it was fun to watch movies and stuff. I was actually just telling my fiance that i didnt want to lie to our future kids about it but i just realized we kinda do pretend santa is real for my niece and nephew. Like they know we give them presents and then there is also gifts from santa. I wouldn't push the idea tho, if they start asking if he's real just give them a little smirk. They'll figure it out and understand its for fun
Impeccable
Member
Saddening people don't feel the need to have fun. Poor kids.
bigwinnerx
Member
Mine are 9 and 7. Still believe. I guess, to me so far. I'm sure by this point the kids around school are all talking about it and making fun of the kids who do.
But, to this point, they haven't outright said anything to me. And they won't even notice the giant boxes of presents I put in the car to take to my moms. Or say "hey, why is that the same wrapping paper we have in the garage?" or "Hey this writing looks like Dad's".
(We had done the brand new, hidden, fancy wrapping paper, writing to/from cards with my off hand, etc, before, then kinda broke away from that as of maybe last year.)
MY parents used to have it that Santa also put up and decorated the tree. So, all of a sudden, everything was set up on Christmas morning.
But, to this point, they haven't outright said anything to me. And they won't even notice the giant boxes of presents I put in the car to take to my moms. Or say "hey, why is that the same wrapping paper we have in the garage?" or "Hey this writing looks like Dad's".
(We had done the brand new, hidden, fancy wrapping paper, writing to/from cards with my off hand, etc, before, then kinda broke away from that as of maybe last year.)
MY parents used to have it that Santa also put up and decorated the tree. So, all of a sudden, everything was set up on Christmas morning.
My mom must've had some skills then lol.
I don't quite get this line of thinking. Being desperate to ensure a child young enough to belive in Santa is fully aware of the financial outlay and effort you've gone to on their behalf just seems a bit.....ehhhhhhhh. Can't think of the right word. Immature? Pointless? I don't know.
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