Ok. Being a man of my word, I went to KFC today. I decided to torture myself even further, because there was literally a Popeye's two blocks away. You could see it from the KFC. I definitely went into it empty minded, because ya know, MAYBE I WAS ACTUALLY WRONG. Too bad that I wasn't, because KFC is, as I previously remembered, ASS. Seriously. You're all doing yourself such a disservice by eating here over Popeye's. You really are. Here we go.
I decided to get the two piece, original recipe chicken. I figured that ya know, it was the original. If I was gonna compare chicken, I want to compare chicken with chicken, as opposed to some crazy ass side menu thing that KFC has. I got a breast and a wing, with mashed potatoes and beans. I also noticed that there weren't really options to just get chicken; that's one thing that rules about Popeye's. I want a snack? Yo, it's cool! 2 bucks will get you a delicious spicy breast. And usually that's a pretty good amount of food anyway; add a small side and you're set. Here though? Naw. Either I get a shitty "value" food item, or I get a meal. Bleh. Anyway.
First bite, with me trying to be optimistic.
....and the subsequent reaction.
Seriously. My expression tells it all. The chicken wasn't juicy, the breading was like, hella weird and not crispy or anything at all, and this mother fucker was OILY. LIKE, I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU GUYS ARE MAKING THE GREASED UP ROUTER COMMENTS. When I get a chicken breast at Popeye's, that shit is delicious. The chicken is juicy, the breading is tasty, and the chicken itself doesn't feel greasy as shit. This picture is literally taken after my SECOND BITE.
WHAT. THE. FUCK. THAT'S JUST GROSS. The sides weren't bad, but at the same time, why would I want baked beans from here when I could get red beans and rice? Why would I want mashed potatoes from here when they're just... better at Popeye's? And the biscuit? Don't even get me STARTED on that crumbly piece of gross.
I ate as much as I could get through, but man. Ugh.
I just don't get it. I spent 7 bucks on this shit, when I could have gone to a food cart, a local restaurant, or even the Popeye's down the block. Why would you do this to yourself KFC GAF? WHY? Seriously, I know I lost this battle, but do yourselves a goddamn service and go to a motherfuckin Popeye's next time you want some fried chicken. I can now definitively say with authority due to eating at both places that Popeye's really is just far better. Ugh.
/saltyrant
