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brawly
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:27 PM)
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Marrying someone after knowing them for 1,5 years? You in a rush or something?

Sucks about the cheating. Definitely break off.
Maxinas
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:27 PM)
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Help a bro out and let the other guy know what kind of girl she is. If heís a desperate idiot and doesnít believe you or decides itís okay, donít bother getting into deeper shit and move on.
SRG01
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:27 PM)
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Oh, also get tested for STDs. This may not have been the first time she's cheated, and one of the most common sources for STDs is unfaithful partners, unfortunately.
LNBL
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:27 PM)
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It is also possible that confronting her won't give you a proper answer, be prepared for that. Just make sure you say your part, which will prevent you from having any regrets in the future. Once you say your part and there is a form of confirmation that she cheated on you, then you need to cut her off completetly. All of it, social media etc, just cutt her off.
Sunster
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:27 PM)
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Originally Posted by Kyzer

Wait why did dude message your sister unsolicited exactly? To ask this random girl who's in pictures with his GF how she knows her? 🤔

Dude was tryna cheat on your cheating girl with your sis

lmao I thought the same thing
backflip10019
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:29 PM)
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Dang, that's really rough dude. Sorry about that.
IISANDERII
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:29 PM)
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Originally Posted by Jag

Dump her. It sucks man. Sorry to hear it.

She may try to talk her way out. She may say that she is confused, scared, unsure of the final commitment.

She may say a ton of shit that will confuse you. Do not let her talk you out of breaking up. You don't realize it now, but you want her to talk you out of it and you need to go in strong. Most likely you will be shocked by whatever her response is. Remember, you don't owe her the chance to explain. All you are doing is getting her out of your life.

Yeah if she tries this, ask for her phone on the spot as a way to prove herself.

And if you find the incriminating evidence, take a good look so youíll have zero doubt about dumping her is the right decision
TestedTurok
Banned
(10-12-2017, 11:30 PM)
Enough with this debating this or that. Bottom line, she cheated on you op. She didn't care about your feelings, so there is no point continuing this relationship.
Kyzer
Banned
(10-12-2017, 11:30 PM)
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Originally Posted by Sunster

lmao I thought the same thing

He then proceeded to tell OPs sister, a stranger, his whole life story and current romantic situation for no reason. Just gushes about it. After messaging her to ask "who are you?", after seeing her in pictures, with his current GF.

Cmonnnnn

Dude was tryna get at OPs sister

This dating app is trash
Kevtones
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:30 PM)
Dump her. Be classy about it. You're better than toxicity.


Also:

'I made friends with people on the app and still talk to them on it' is such a bad excuse for still having a dating app. I mean come on.

Sorry OP but this might not be the only guy.
ebullientprism
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:33 PM)
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Originally Posted by Kyzer

Wait why did dude message your sister unsolicited exactly? To ask this random girl who's in pictures with his GF how she knows her? ��

Dude was tryna cheat on your cheating girl with your sis

He was trying to cheat on her by telling her about how happy he is with this new girl he is seeing and he sees himself marrying her?

The fuck?
Kyzer
Banned
(10-12-2017, 11:33 PM)
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This guy just messaged your sister and is like oh yeah I'm with this girl were like so in love great to talk to you thanks. I wouldn't be surprised if she did cheat with this guy but that he also made shit up while sliding into your sisters DMs

Originally Posted by ebullientprism

He was trying to cheat on her by telling another girl how happy he is with this new girl he is seeing and he sees himself marrying her?

The fuck?


Yes. After reaching out to her because he saw her in photographs. Classic dumbass creep.
Raven117
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:34 PM)
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Originally Posted by Kevtones

Dump her. Be classy about it. You're better than toxicity.


Also:

'I made friends with people on the app and still talk to them on it' is such a bad excuse for still having a dating app. I mean come on.

Sorry OP but this might not be the only guy.

Yup. Do it fast as well. Don't wait. For your own mental state, you doing the axing will help you in the long run. Be firm. Be confident and end it. Don't even let her explain. Doesn't matter. Be thankful you figured this out before the "marriage" thing was really in the works.

Also...yeah, 1.5 years? Probably not the first time.
LumpOfCole
Cereal Killer
(10-12-2017, 11:36 PM)
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Originally Posted by Kyzer

He then proceeded to tell OPs sister, a stranger, his whole life story and current romantic situation for no reason. Just gushes about it. After messaging her to ask "who are you?", after seeing her in pictures, with his current GF.

Cmonnnnn

Dude was tryna get at OPs sister

This dating app is trash

If your sister is game, you could have her pretend to be interested, trap the guy into Ďsetting up plansí to cheat on the cheater, then torpedo both her relationships simultaneously by dumping her and giving her the new evidence about her other guy planning to cheat on her.

Thatís a pretty vindictive way to go though. The better revenge might be to simply live well.
Sub Boss
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:38 PM)
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Originally Posted by brawly

Marrying someone after knowing them for 1,5 years? You in a rush or something?

Sucks about the cheating. Definitely break off.

Some people aren't that young you know
Warm Machine
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:42 PM)
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Originally Posted by Raven117

Yup. Do it fast as well. Don't wait. For your own mental state, you doing the axing will help you in the long run. Be firm. Be confident and end it. Don't even let her explain. Doesn't matter. Be thankful you figured this out before the "marriage" thing was really in the works.

Also...yeah, 1.5 years? Probably not the first time.

This man knows what's up. Keep your self respect and break it off clean.
Switch Back 9
a lot of my threads involve me fucking up somehow. Perhaps I'm a moron?
(10-12-2017, 11:44 PM)
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Originally Posted by Raven117

Yup. Do it fast as well. Don't wait. For your own mental state, you doing the axing will help you in the long run. Be firm. Be confident and end it. Don't even let her explain. Doesn't matter. Be thankful you figured this out before the "marriage" thing was really in the works.

Also...yeah, 1.5 years? Probably not the first time.

Yup yup yup. 100%.
GifGafIsTheBestGaf
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:51 PM)
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i think you should meet with the dude first, it seems you both got fooled so at least he'll know what's up with her. then talk to your gf and dump her
Polioliolio
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:51 PM)
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The feeling here is for some positive resolution, but you won't get it. Talk about it briefly if you must, but kick that lady to the curb, pronto. Don't waste time in wondering what could have been, or why she did what she did. You'll get nowhere and become angry, depressed, full of hate, and maybe yet still wanting love from her. Just get out of that mess now!
Llyranor
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:51 PM)
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Sorry this happened, OP. But better now than later.

Originally Posted by kittoo

I even saw the app once on her phone a few months back and when asked she said she made some friends on it before meeting me and she still talks to them on it. I thought that was OK.

For future reference, when you make friends, you maintain contact through phone number, FB, whatever. Anything but a dating app. This is never a valid excuse under any circumstances.
Ultima_5
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:51 PM)
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Originally Posted by SpecX

Talk to her about it, but definitely hit the brakes on proceeding with marriage at this point. If you guys give it time to work out, then much much later, try and get down the path to marrying her if she's the one. If nothing good comes from the discussion, then cut her off and move on with your life.

Donít take this advice. This isnít coming from a place of experience.

Dump her and move on. Do it through text if you want. She doesnít deserve much from you
TyrantII
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:51 PM)
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She did you a solid. Dodged a bullet, imagine having two kids and all your finances tied up in someone lying to you and breaking your trust so easily? A mature relationship, with a real partner, that doesn't happen. Not with something that serious.

Don't look at it as a loss OP. It's a blessing that she showed her true colors before things got messy. Go find your true love.
MugiwaraCole
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:52 PM)
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Gotta contact the other guy and tell him to meet you at a spot where y'all are currently at. Go for the jugular.
Micael
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:52 PM)
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I'm assuming you have already confirmed this all thing, because that story is weird as shit.

Anyway the solution to this is basically break off with her, seems pretty clear that trust is important to you, so this is more than dead at this point, when you do break off with her try to do something to relax before, it will help you be magnanimous about it, which you should be, not for her but for you since as a general rule you don't tend to regret taking the high road.
Oh yeah the STD check is definitely something you should do.

Originally Posted by Sub Boss

Some people aren't that young you know

More reason to not waste time on mistakes, marriage has no time limit (in my country anyway).
Aureon
Please do not let me serve on a jury. I am actually a crazy person.
(10-12-2017, 11:53 PM)
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You know what you need to do, OP.
The only thing you're now deciding is how long you want to drag this out.

The answer, obviously, is as short as possible. So no explaining, no still caring for her, not letting her try to talk you about it, No allowing fucking victim blaming about some bullshit where it's actually YOUR fault, none of that.

Clean cut.

And warn the guy. Not overly long, or even just tell your sis to do it - don't get involved with this shit too much, a simple "Hey, heads up - That girl was actually my gf and was cheating. I'd really like not talking about it all too much because i want to move on as soon as possible"

Then beer+friends, gym, hobbies, travel, take your mind off the damn girl. It's gonna hurt. We're in triage here.
Llyranor
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:53 PM)
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Originally Posted by MugiwaraCole

Gotta contact the other guy and tell him to meet you at a spot where y'all are currently at. Go for the jugular.

The other guy thought he was dating her. Only one person in this scenario is a two-timing jerk.

Edit: nvm, misread
GifGafIsTheBestGaf
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:54 PM)
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though thinking about it, what if it was a jealous boyfriend of hers destroying your relationship from within?

he knew who you were, who your sister is, etc etc
Wildo09
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:57 PM)
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Originally Posted by GifGafIsTheBestGaf

though thinking about it, what if it was a jealous boyfriend of hers destroying your relationship from within?

he knew who you were, who your sister is, etc etc

This guy may be right.
family_guy
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:57 PM)
If true, tell her you just tested as HIV-positive and don't know how you got it because you've been faithful.
Saganator
Member
(10-12-2017, 11:58 PM)
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Fuck with her head and ghost her ass. If everything you said was true, she's heartless, doesn't deserve a face to face breakup, unless you just need that sense of closure.

If you're feeling clever, talk to the other dude some more. If he's done with her too, have him set a date with your now ex at a bar. Both you and other dude show up and tell her to fuck off together.

Whatever you do, don't spend much time on it because she's already wasted enough of your time. Your time is the most valuable thing you have, fuck people who don't value your time as much as you do.

Good luck. Btw, highly recommend living with someone for at least a year before thinking about marriage.
kiunchbb
www.dictionary.com
(10-12-2017, 11:59 PM)
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Originally Posted by GifGafIsTheBestGaf

though thinking about it, what if it was a jealous boyfriend of hers destroying your relationship from within?

he knew who you were, who your sister is, etc etc

This could happened....
Transhuman
Banned
(10-12-2017, 11:59 PM)
You did the right thing. (Making a Gaf thread)
RoyalFool
Banned
(10-13-2017, 12:01 AM)
Have you verified it with your own eyes? Maybe they are just friends and your sister is exgagerating it, or the guy is lying about the nature of their relationship.

Sneak her phone and read the messages between them, and if she's cheating, ghost her and don't look back.

Fuck cheaters, but also don't fuck up a good relationship until you know the facts.

I'm not sure you'll get an honest answer asking her directly.
SmokinGunZ1981
Member
(10-13-2017, 12:04 AM)
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Originally Posted by kittoo

Just needed to vent GAF. Its 2AM here and dont know who to talk to.

We've been together for about 1.5 years. We met through a dating app and have been very steady (or at least I thought so). We were talking of getting married. She met my family many times. She got her family to meet me, specifically for marriage purposes.

The thing is, the week I met her parents, she was meeting someone else. She didnt know but the guy was a Facebook friend of my sister's. Somehow this guy sees pictures of my sister with my gf on FB and just asked my sister how my sister knew my gf and that he was dating her. My sister feigned that she was only a friend of a friend of my gf and asked the guy more details as part of her conversation.

The guy told that they met on the same dating app on which me and my gf met.
They've been dating for a couple of months and have met a few times. Didnt say anything about physical relations.
That my gf told him that she is single.
The guy is sure my gf likes him and that things will progress slowly and then they might think of getting married.


I am devastated. We were about to get married, I thought! I just met her family 2 weeks back! I am thinking of confronting her face to face tomorrow.

The thing is, I would think of ignoring the guy saying they both like each other etc. But why the hell is she on the dating app still and meeting guys when we were clearly in an exclusive committed relationship? I even saw the app once on her phone a few months back and when asked she said she made some friends on it before meeting me and she still talks to them on it. I thought that was OK.

I've been so trusting. I dont like doubting my partners. I never asked where she was, what she was doing, who she was with, what her plans were or anything at all. She used to say she really liked this about me- the complete trust. Now I feel betrayed and devastated.

Nothing to do other than wait for tomorrow. Just wanted vent. Thanks for listening GAF.

I don't understand the bolded part, so you say they have been dating for a couple of months but then say they have met a 'few' times but yet are thinking of getting married? That just doesn't make sense!
TromboneTony
Member
(10-13-2017, 12:07 AM)

Originally Posted by TyrantII

She did you a solid. Dodged a bullet, imagine having two kids and all your finances tied up in someone lying to you and breaking your trust so easily? A mature relationship, with a real partner, that doesn't happen. Not with something that serious.

Don't look at it as a loss OP. It's a blessing that she showed her true colors before things got messy. Go find your true love.

So much this, trust me:( I found out the hard way last year. Wish I could get out sometimes. Things are better between us, but it'll never be the same.
CHC
Member
(10-13-2017, 12:07 AM)
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Yeah, talk to her, dump her, definitely talk to the other guy, he'll probably dump her too. I can't imagine he's especially pleased with the situation, and if she's flirting with the idea of marriage in two separate relationships... well, that is just not something any emotionally grounded person would even consider.

Good luck, man.
Spaced Harrier
Member
(10-13-2017, 12:08 AM)
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Sorry dude, that sucks.

Try meet up with the guy through your sister and get it all Confirmed.

Confront together and film it.

At least get some YouTube dollars as a commiseration.
MugiwaraCole
Member
(10-13-2017, 12:10 AM)
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Originally Posted by Llyranor

The other guy thought he was dating her. Only one person in this scenario is a two-timing jerk.

Edit: nvm, misread

Yeah, don't want em fighting each other. Want the other guy to realize she's two-timing em both, and I want her caught with her pants down lol.

All jokes aside, I'm sorry this happened to you, OP.
CorrisD
badchoiceboobies
(10-13-2017, 12:11 AM)
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It seems very odd to me that a guy would randomly message another girl in a picture with someone he is dating he had never met to ask how they knew his gf, does that seem like a weird thing to do to anyone else? That doesnít seem normal to me. At first this seems like it could be someone trying to mess with you, but then you mentioned the dating app.

Having a dating app on her phone should be a talking point to have begun with, I also donít think thatís normal either, if you met friends that become more than just a random conversation you would move onto other means of communication right? you donít keep the app after being in what I imagine you would consider to be a serious relationship. Shame on her, but that should have been a red flag to you.

I would suggest sitting down and calmly having a conversation. It seems weird that a guy would message a random girl to ask about another girl in the photo, so I would lead in not divulging any actual information you might have and use the app as a starting point, just ask her why she still has it and if she trusts you that you would like to see what is on the app. If she wonít let you see what is happening on the app then I would bring up the conversation with your sister and go from there.

It sucks, like really sucks, but the guy is either messing your relationship up, or saving you from getting too serious with someone who is so easily willing to cheat on you.
Master Yoshi
Member
(10-13-2017, 12:11 AM)
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Don't even talk about it, just leave her ass dumbstruck without a fucking explanation. You don't owe her anything.
cryptosporidium
Member
(10-13-2017, 12:20 AM)
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Originally Posted by kai3345

Get in touch with the dude so she doesn't get either of you

This
BackLogJoe
Member
(10-13-2017, 12:20 AM)
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Time to ghost, OP. You don't owe her a thing.
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
(10-13-2017, 12:21 AM)
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Originally Posted by CorrisD


It sucks, like really sucks, but the guy is either messing your relationship up, or saving you from getting too serious with someone who is so easily willing to cheat on you.

This, very much this, and I am willing to bet it's the latter (bolded).. This dude it basically trying to reach you, and give you 'the message' through your sister. (on Facebook)

I am very suspicious of this as well, or something very similar... I just don't think dudes randomly start conversations with random friends of their gf's on facebook and tell them how they are dating their friend. I don't see why he would start talking to your sister, unless he knew exactly who your sister is...

I bet you anything your gf was living a double life, she probably had a 'casual' (sexual) relationship with this dude on the side while being with you for 1.5 years... The fact that this guy started messaging your sister just a few weeks after you met her parents and stated to bring up marriage is not a coincidence.

It could be that she told him, "We have to stop doing this because my bf (you OP) met my parents this week and things are getting really serious, I think he's serious about marrying me..."

The other dude pretended to be cool about it, probably told her "okay" but got vindictive on her and just like GifGafls said: wanted to fuck up your relationship, basically bringing it all down with him, since your gf now kicked him out.

This could be a very likely scenario OP... I am just not convinced that the other guy randomly messaging your sister out of the blue is as innocent and as random as it seems....

This, of course does NOT get your conniving, cheating, dirty Girlfriend off the hook, but I would say tread carefully and do some investigating before goin all out and breaking up with her.
Budi
Member
(10-13-2017, 12:24 AM)
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Sorry to hear OP, I know it feels devastating. Chin up and go forward!
And I think people are misunderstanding something here (or I am) the guy is a Facebook friend of OP:s sister and saw OP:s GF in the pictures. The sister knows the dude and ofcourse OP:s sister.

She didnt know but the guy was a Facebook friend of my sister's. Somehow this guy sees pictures of my sister with my gf on FB

Originally Posted by Lakershead22

Ask her if she fancies seeing some dicks on the iPad.

brawly
Member
(10-13-2017, 12:25 AM)
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Originally Posted by Sub Boss

Some people aren't that young you know

I didn't know there was an age limit on getting married.
EloquentM
aka Mannny
(10-13-2017, 12:30 AM)
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She cheated on you. Why do you need to talk to her? The closure was her cheating on you. Also like I said earlier get tested and you may want to tell homeboy to get tested too.
DarkJediKnight
(10-13-2017, 12:32 AM)
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Originally Posted by kittoo

Just needed to vent GAF. Its 2AM here and dont know who to talk to.

We've been together for about 1.5 years. We met through a dating app and have been very steady (or at least I thought so). We were talking of getting married. She met my family many times. She got her family to meet me, specifically for marriage purposes.

The thing is, the week I met her parents, she was meeting someone else. She didnt know but the guy was a Facebook friend of my sister's. Somehow this guy sees pictures of my sister with my gf on FB and just asked my sister how my sister knew my gf and that he was dating her. My sister feigned that she was only a friend of a friend of my gf and asked the guy more details as part of her conversation.

The guy told that they met on the same dating app on which me and my gf met.
They've been dating for a couple of months and have met a few times. Didnt say anything about physical relations.
That my gf told him that she is single.
The guy is sure my gf likes him and that things will progress slowly and then they might think of getting married.

I am devastated. We were about to get married, I thought! I just met her family 2 weeks back! I am thinking of confronting her face to face tomorrow.

The thing is, I would think of ignoring the guy saying they both like each other etc. But why the hell is she on the dating app still and meeting guys when we were clearly in an exclusive committed relationship? I even saw the app once on her phone a few months back and when asked she said she made some friends on it before meeting me and she still talks to them on it. I thought that was OK.

I've been so trusting. I dont like doubting my partners. I never asked where she was, what she was doing, who she was with, what her plans were or anything at all. She used to say she really liked this about me- the complete trust. Now I feel betrayed and devastated.

Nothing to do other than wait for tomorrow. Just wanted vent. Thanks for listening GAF.

This whole thing sounds like an Indian Movie. Time to move on.
old manatee
Banned
(10-13-2017, 12:32 AM)
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Originally Posted by ApharmdX

Sorry to hear that.

1.5 years deserves a face-to-face break-up, so do that. Keep your emotions in check, confront with facts, and let her know that the relationship is over. Block her number and social media accounts. Move on.


Cheating deserves radio silence.
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
(10-13-2017, 12:32 AM)
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Originally Posted by Budi

Sorry to hear OP, I know it can feel devastating. Chin up and forward!
And I think people are misunderstanding something here (or I am) the guy is a Facebook friend of OP:s sister and saw OP:s GF in the pictures.

Ahh, I admit, even though I read this properly first, I overlooked that detail. Guess the better question is, how does this dude know Op's sister, why are they friends on facebook? and how often does he talk to her, about his own personal, romantic relationships no less, if he has ever messaged her before at all?

I still think he knew exactly who he was talking to and what he was doing messaging the Op's sister, despite them already being friends.
Straight Edge
Member
(10-13-2017, 12:35 AM)
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Originally Posted by SmokinGunZ1981

I don't understand the bolded part, so you say they have been dating for a couple of months but then say they have met a 'few' times but yet are thinking of getting married? That just doesn't make sense!

I also don't get this.

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