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Anyone here end up marrying their 1st boyfriend/girlfriend?

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P

Podge293

Member
Miles Quaritch said:
Sometimes it is greener though. You might be settling with your partner, does that never worry you?
Click to expand...

Could also be throwing away the best thing ever?

If you're happy with the person and don't have an overwhelming urge to leave them it doesn't really make a difference if they're first of fifteenth.

Also everybody has to wonder at some point in their life what if
 
S

spuckthew

Member
I'm coming up to the two-year mark of my second relationship, but marriage isn't really on the cards. Not just because it's barely been two years, but because it's not something we necessarily believe is vital. We've jokingly discussed that should we do get married, we just get it done for my benefit because we want to move to the States in 2-3 years and it'll be muuuuuch easier to do if I'm married to an American citizen.
 
P

Prologue

Member
Phyranion said:
ITT:
  • People who's experienced a few breakups claim you need the experience.
  • People who stuck to their first partner claim you don't.
Click to expand...

I'm in a great relationship, but the thoughts of wanting to experience other things are starting to get to me more now.

But the thought of throwing away something great scares me too. I honestly wish i met her 2-3 girls down the line or something, so I can at least say I had my fun. But she was practically my first for everything.
 
T

thetrin

Hail, peons, for I have come as ambassador from the great and bountiful Blueberry Butt Explosion
TBH, I've never understood the "don't you ever wonder what it's like to be with other people" standpoint. The only reason I've ever left someone was because I didn't want to be with them, not because I got curious about a fictitious someone else.

Then again, I've never understood cheating on someone. But that's just me!
 
J

Jake.

Member
29 and in my sixth serious relationship. i think i've always wondered if the grass is greener since the second or third, although i haven't ended the majority of them. it sucks.
 
B

bosseye

Member
Nah. I thought I would at the time, but we split up just after buying our first house. The absolute cow.

Worked out well enough I got to shag around a bit and then met my wife.
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
thetrin said:
TBH, I've never understood the "don't you ever wonder what it's like to be with other people" standpoint.


The only reason I've ever left someone was because I didn't want to be with them
Click to expand...

You've got no reference point for being in a long term relationship with only one person.
Of course you'll never understand a situation you've not been in.
 
Q

Quonny

Member
Yeah. I went on dates in college and stuff and had a couple week/month-long girlfriends, but I ended up marrying my first real girlfriend. Dated four years, got engaged, married a year later. Couldn't be happier, six years together now.

Sometimes I wonder but it's always just curiosity, never bitterness or yearning.
 
Prax

Prax

Member
Started dating my first boyfriend at the end of highschool. Got married after dating for 10 years. Will be celebrating 4 years of marriage this June.

Pretty smooth so far! We don't even fight. But maybe kids will change this easugoing dynamic (that will be in 2 years).

He's had kind of a girlfriend in highschool before me, but it never got anywhere (maybe some kissing?) so does that even count? lol

I don't really regret not playing the field or whatever. "Dating" and searching for compatible people is a hassle. Glad I got it in the first try. :9

Edit: realized i posted in this thread last year!
welp, things still going strong!
"u have no ref points, ignorance is bliss" ppl sound real salty justifying their life journeys sometimes lol
 
Ban Puncher

Ban Puncher

Member
tumblr_nxyn1ln9fB1um5ktko1_1280.jpg



Our love is a pure love.
 
C

Cormano

Member
Keri said:
It seems to be working out great for me. We've been together 16 years total and married for the last 3. We're 32 now and expecting our first child this summer. I feel very fortunate to have gotten so lucky. I've never seriously worried about "what else is out there," because what I have now is working so well.
Click to expand...

In s bunch of states youre legally married after that long.
 
B

bomb

Unconfirmed Member
Miles Quaritch said:
This screams early 30s break up to me.

Unless they have an open relationship.
Click to expand...

Miles Quaritch said:
Sometimes it is greener though. You might be settling with your partner, does that never worry you?
Click to expand...

my wife already makes a 100k a year and continues to climb in her company, she's an amazing person, not controlling, loves the things I like(also we do our own things as well), and as an added bonus she is out of town 8-10 weeks a year. A little time apart is healthy in my opinion.

could the grass be greenier? sure. could we break up one day? sure. It's life. Shit could happen. So what. We have had a blast together this long. What am I missing out on or should be curious about? fucking an extremely hot girl? who hasn't thought about that?
 
B

BunnyBear

Member
I think you have to be completely mad to marry your first. Absolutely off chops. You need break-ups and to experience different people and relationships to learn about yourself. I'd never recommend it.

I'm sure it works for some but there's probably underlying reasons why. Low self-esteem, mainly.
 
I

ionitron

Member
I've been with my first boyfriend for 4 years. We're also LDR while he's in college. I care about him a lot, but I have a feeling it won't pan out within the next year because his industry is in California where he currently goes to school, and I kinda got offered a full-time job in Florida. He graduates next year, I graduate this April, so there's a year to see what happens, but... yeah. The distance wasn't a problem when it was obvious that he'd come home for summer/winter break. This is a new development though, we need to talk about it ASAP because I got offered the job this week.

=(

Otherwise, I don't really wonder what it's like to be with someone else. I'm happy with him as it is.
 
J

jetpacks was yes

Member
Yeah, but that's mostly because I was really overweight with self-esteem issues and never had a real relationship until I was in my late 20's. Married for six years with a little baby now. Feels good.
 
N

New002

Member
Ray Wonder said:
I know a couple that have been "dating" since they were in middle school (I think 6th or 7th grade lmao), and still, at 26, they're together. Not married though. Shit's crazy to me.
Click to expand...

Miles Quaritch said:
This screams early 30s break up to me.

Unless they have an open relationship.
Click to expand...

Hmm...Granted we didn't start dating in HS but my GF and I have been dating since early college and are going on 10 years.


For what it's worth I don't see an issue with marrying your first/HS sweetheart or whatever. If you're happy and it's working then great! I also see no issue with wanting to date various people and explore before settling down. Basically, do whatever works for you. There's no right answer imo.
 
I

Impeccable

Member
Everyone is different and different things work for different people.

Been with my wife for 17 years, met her when I was 16. Perfect relationship, extremely happy and unwavering. Never even been close to a serious fight. I feel lucky and blessed.
 
S

Supast4r

Junior Member
thetrin said:
TBH, I've never understood the "don't you ever wonder what it's like to be with other people" standpoint. The only reason I've ever left someone was because I didn't want to be with them, not because I got curious about a fictitious someone else.

Then again, I've never understood cheating on someone. But that's just me!
Click to expand...
These are my thoughts as well
 
T

thechristoph

Sir!
andymcc said:
how do you not get curious about what other partners are like?
Click to expand...

It seems that for some people, this question has more value than the value they place on their current relationship.

As a guy who never really had designs on "playing the field" or whatever, no, I never really had this question in the back of my mind. Maybe I'm a pessimist but the question is more like, would I be as happy if I was alone?
 
A

AudioNoir

Banned
I've been with my high school bf for years. We're both in our mid-thirties now with kids and a house. No complaints.

We did separate for a year a while back because I was paranoid that we'd "settled too fast" and never really got to experience different relationships. I didn't want to hit our 40s and have that thought creep up, so the split happened. We were in our mid twenties, and just ended up missing each other and hanging out anyway. I dated one or two guys for a brief time and meh.

In the end, I think the short time apart was good for solidifying things? Or something? We have a great relationship, I think. We do talk about everything, and we don't hold passive aggressive little grudges. We share chores, share responsibilities with the kids, and have our own individual hobbies. We respect each other's alone time, and really enjoy what we do together.

I think high school loves can last. It might not happen for everyone, but it certainly isn't unheard of.
 
entremet

entremet

Member
There doesn't seem to be a definite answer. Relationships and people are complicated.

As you see, many have married their first loves and are very happy and others have not.

I take issue to the fact that one or the other is right. Nothing is right or wrong here. We're talking about things with infinite variables. This is where I think the tinkering and engineering mindset that many of us comes back to bite us.

Relationships aren't physics.
 
T

Tragicomedy

Member
Sort of? We didn't officially date until much later as adults, but I married my first love. We went our separate ways for college and didn't reconnect until 9 years later, but have been together ever since.

Ten year anniversary this year. We're in it for life. My only regret was hesitating.
 
rokkerkory

rokkerkory

Member
If you found love in your first or your tenth relationship then it doesn't matter how many it took as long as you find it.
 
C

Captain Pants

Killed by a goddamned Dredgeling
I'm a super late bloomer. Managed to be alone till 31, and just got married to my first girlfriend this last October. It's been great. Every now and then I wish I had some more fun in my 20s, but I don't have any regrets about this relationship.
 
C

CarpeDeezNutz

Member
Impeccable said:
Everyone is different and different things work for different people.

Been with my wife for 17 years, met her when I was 16. Perfect relationship, extremely happy and unwavering. Never even been close to a serious fight. I feel lucky and blessed.
Click to expand...


You've never known heartbreak man, must have been a pretty good person in a past life.
 
T

Timeaisis

Member
I met my wife in college. First serious relationship I was ever in. So yes.

We've been together 10 years and have been married for five. Love her to bits.
 
K

KeRaSh

Member
I've met my wife when I was 17. She was 15.
Fast forward 11.5 years later and the relationship is as strong as ever. We've been married for 2.5 years now.
We've never had any serious, relationship jeopardizing fights in all these years.
No regrets on both ends.
 
V

Vincent Alexander

Member
My previous boss is married to his first for going on 25 years now. They have two kids who are in college now, and I've honestly never met two people in a relationship as sweet as them. It could be a secret nightmare, if you wanna be a cynic...but I doubt it.
 
V

velociraptor

Junior Member
No but I may consider marrying my 2nd girlfriend (2nd proper relationship that is i.e. lasting more than a few months). But we will see in a couple of years.

BunnyBear said:
There's a scary amount of people here that got married to their first... Jesus. You missed so much.
Click to expand...
I don't know.

If they're happy, that's all that matters.

Doesn't really matter if you have experienced X number of girls/guys before finding the one IMO.
 
X

xelios

Universal Access can be found under System Preferences
jon bones said:
no, and i've never seen this work out.

between college & your early 20s, i think you kind of need a few big breakups here and there to help you grow.
Click to expand...

I'm a gay man who married my first boyfriend. We've been together since I was 17 and I am 31 now, so over 14 years now. We've had rough patches like any relationship but have worked through them and neither of us would rather be with anyone else at this point. I don't personally know any friends or family my age who has made a relationship last this long so far, so I'm proud of it.

And, now you've seen it.
 
B

Bakercat

Member
I'm currently engaged to my first girlfriend. We've been together for over three years and I'm super happy to be with her. Yeah, I get the thoughts of other woman all the time, but I'm so happy with my fiancé that I just pass it off.
 
N

NESpowerhouse

Perhaps he's wondering why someone would shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane.
Yup. My brother ended up marrying his high school sweetheart, is about to have his second kid, and is about to celebrate their 10-year anniversary.
 
K

kswiston

Member
I guess you could say that I married my first serious girlfriend.

I had a girlfriend that I thought was serious for about a year when I was 17-18. But that was one of those situations where we both were just inexperienced, and hadn't really grasped the concept of a relationship being about more than just ourselves and the label. It was also a situation where we saw each other once every couple of weeks. So not all that serious in retrospect. I know that some people have more serious relationships around that age, but I was a late bloomer when it came to women.

After that, it was sporadic casual dating in college, until I met my now wife in grad school. That was over a decade ago. We have been married for close to 8 years.
 
A

AntraxSuicide

Banned
Almost 4 years of marriage for me. My only regret is that I highly suspect our early great marriage convinced some of our friends (who were dating each other) to get married and now they're getting divorced :/

But that situation has made us both happy that we've got a good thing going.
 
entremet

entremet

Member
BunnyBear said:
There's a scary amount of people here that got married to their first... Jesus. You missed so much.
Click to expand...
Miss what?

Such a presumptuous answer.

Look up paradox of choice and dating.

The benefits of marriage has also been observed heavily. For both men and women.

And I say this as a single guy who has dated tons already.
 
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