Blackquill
Member
Oh sorry someone is making you uncomfortable, it's not like they are feeling bad am i right ?
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When Men Cry
- Thread starter Miles Quaritch
- Start date
Oh sorry someone is making you uncomfortable, it's not like they are feeling bad am i right ?
Because we look like this.
We must hide this face forever.
Not that it's common amongst women either, but I have yet to meet a man that isn't an ugly crier.
As for not offering assistance, if someone is distraught on the street I'm not going to get involved. The possible ways I could help are slim to none.
Personally, the only stuff that gets me crying is media, oddly enough. My wife could dump me for another man while the rest of my family died in a fire on the same day and I'd be outwardly stoic, but I tear up just listening to freaking bagpipes.
Personally, while I think the idea of repressing your emotions is harmful, I also don't see how that usually gets turned around to "you have to be a gooey mess". People could use a little more stoicism and better coping mechanisms than turning into a weeping wreck.
Yeah.... I'm gonna' say that's not usually how it works, as anyone who has been on the wrong side of a "I'm angry at you but I refuse to explain why, you should know because of that thing you did two weeks ago" bit can tell you.
Callous and selfish. Honestly, it sounds like you should "grow up." At least develop some empathy.
(This post and others sharing this sentiment managed to particularly bug the shit out of me. Some people have a lot of hurt going on inside them, and sometimes it's impossible to keep it in any longer. Be kind. Be more thoughtful than this. You don't know what they're going through.)
illusionspark
Member
I feel like I've cried buckets of tears this year, but never in public. Maybe in my car... a few times, but no one can see me crying in my car. I try to hide my tears in public. Why? Because I don't want to attract attention. I don't like attention to begin with most of the time, so I do my best to be "strong" in public. Plus I don't want to appear vulnerable to people I don't know. My natural facial expression and body language is very unfriendly for the most part, for the same reason, because I don't want to look vulnerable to random people. I only cry around people I trust and know very well (my boyfriend has seen me cry a lot).
Massive Duck. C.M.
Banned
As I've gotten older (and gone through some SHIT) the tears flow a lot more freely.
Chmpocalypse
Blizzard
I cry. It's human. It's natural. It's not shameful.
Fuck toxic masculinity right into the goddamn ground. Shit is ridiculous.
Fuck toxic masculinity right into the goddamn ground. Shit is ridiculous.
Wandering Robot
Member
I don't think it's weak or wrong for men to cry. More power to youit's human. It's fine.
Regarding the question in the OP, though, would I approach him? I don't know. It'd make really nervous. I wouldn't frown upon him for it regardless.
Regarding the question in the OP, though, would I approach him? I don't know. It'd make really nervous. I wouldn't frown upon him for it regardless.
Fulminator
Member
I cry sometimes just because I want to
Never any shame in crying, I wouldn't judge another guy for it at all
I do agree it is stigmatised for terrible reasons , boys should be raised with role models telling an showing them that its ok to have feelings
Dunno if I'd offer help, but I'm not sure if I would for any crying person unless they were rolling around on the ground or something
Never any shame in crying, I wouldn't judge another guy for it at all
I do agree it is stigmatised for terrible reasons , boys should be raised with role models telling an showing them that its ok to have feelings
Dunno if I'd offer help, but I'm not sure if I would for any crying person unless they were rolling around on the ground or something
Fulminator
Member
What? Why is that true?
cryptosporidium
Member
Adults shouldnt cry (sad tears, happy tears can be ok) in public except in obvious scernarios such as funerals etc.
Women and Men can both be stoic
Edit: I wouldnt shame anyone for crying tho, if someone needs help ill usually offer it
Women and Men can both be stoic
Edit: I wouldnt shame anyone for crying tho, if someone needs help ill usually offer it
Some friends and I were out and somehow this same conversation came up. All of us had women in our lives (mothers or girlfriends) who believed it and stated it. It sounds a bit extreme when you put it into words, I agree, but you cant' be the one crying at the drop of a hat. It's just not a damn luxury we can afford. In private, it's fine and healthy.
I don't like it any more than you do.
I feel that is an extremely unfair burden placed on men, stuff like this is what the MRA movement should be tackling instead of the disgusting movement they currently are.
Stuff like this, men aren't superheroes, you can be strong and still be realistic about the stuff you can do and not be afraid to show emotion if you so feel inclined after failure. I have always had a problem with this superhuman view of masculinity, it does so much damage to a lot of men to have this image they must aspire to.
Switch Back 9
a lot of my threads involve me fucking up somehow. Perhaps I'm a moron?
I teared up a bit tonighton a first datewhile talking about my great-grandfather...she ended up rubbing my thigh and then we made out.
So crying kinda gets the job done.
So crying kinda gets the job done.
Chaos2Frozen
Member
One of my favorite characters was JD from Scrubs, and this thread reminded me of this specific scene
https://youtu.be/vx4chPKwcbY?t=40
https://youtu.be/vx4chPKwcbY?t=40
Shambalakan
Member
Movies/Series/Games can make me cry easily. Don't mean those cliche movies about love and boy/girl relationships, but things like Peter Jackson's King Kong and Doctor Who or games like MGS.
And kidney stones... They can make you cry like a baby! :|
And kidney stones... They can make you cry like a baby! :|
blame space
Banned
I can't stop crying
blame space
Banned
nothing is healthy.
Tezzeractor
Member
I'll bottle it up until the end of time. I'm pretty introverted and I don't like my emotions on display. Any attention I would attract would be deeply undesired.
That isn't to say that the stigma should persist. Men should be able to cry as they please without ridicule.
That isn't to say that the stigma should persist. Men should be able to cry as they please without ridicule.
crazepharmacist
Member
It's a sign of high estrogen. Makes are supposed to have high testosterone low estrogen. Females have the opposite. Estrogen makes you emotional. Estrogen is feminizing so it makes sense there is a stigma. But it's also situational. My sister passed away in January and I haven't cried more in my life. I still break down randomly. Just a few minutes I was tearing up actually before even reading this thread.
Don't think there should be a problem with it, but in society there obviously is.
I generally don't get upset unless I take time to think things through. And I try to prevent that by playing video games and generally keeping myself busy each waking moment.
I don't think that's healthy. Crying is a way of dealing with things and helps emotionally. I don't think any less of anyone who cries and to think that someone would be worried about crying in front of other people is frustrating.
I feel this kind of cry bashing is another mental health stitmatism.
I generally don't get upset unless I take time to think things through. And I try to prevent that by playing video games and generally keeping myself busy each waking moment.
I don't think that's healthy. Crying is a way of dealing with things and helps emotionally. I don't think any less of anyone who cries and to think that someone would be worried about crying in front of other people is frustrating.
I feel this kind of cry bashing is another mental health stitmatism.
PunjabiPlaya
Member
The first time I saw a patient die in front of me and there was nothing we could do to save them, I went home after work and had a nice spontaneous uncontrollable cry in the shower. I held it together at the time and the rest of my shift and even talked it with my brother, but as soon as I got in the shower and really started to think of what happened, I just broke down. I'm actually glad that happened though, since I woulda been more concerned if I felt nothing. Being in the medical field and seeing that side of the world really makes you feel that crying over petty things is not worth the tears.
Still, I definitely get emotional and tear up during movies, tv shows, music, etc. Things that are meant to elicit emotion. That and when I get really angry I always tear up. Being emotional isn't a bad thing and is healthy to express those emotions, it's just stupidly stigmatized.
Still, I definitely get emotional and tear up during movies, tv shows, music, etc. Things that are meant to elicit emotion. That and when I get really angry I always tear up. Being emotional isn't a bad thing and is healthy to express those emotions, it's just stupidly stigmatized.
Forerunner
Member
I was taught not to, so I don't.
I hate that it's still a thing, crying is a natural thing we humans do to express powerful emotions like distress, fear, or sadness. I have never once seen a man as lesser or weak for crying, if anything I see strength in them for crying, for breaking such a stupid gendered norm and allowing themselves to be as they are.
As my Art History professor in college said: "Let your tears fall, men. Show your humanity; you are human, not machine."
As my Art History professor in college said: "Let your tears fall, men. Show your humanity; you are human, not machine."
CassidyIzABeast
Member
I hold onto these tears for real moments of struggle and emotion. Makes your tears have more impact like when somebody who doesn't curse drops a swear. You know shit got real.
Seems really limiting and unhealthy dude. Why can't the person who's got their shit together the most at that moment be the rock?
Everything you know is made up. That could be you crying at the drop of a hat but for the whims of circumstantial societal development.
Go ahead. Cry about all the shit that's been eating at you. You'll punch less things. Save money on damages.
Dirtyshubb
Member
Cant stand seeing other people cry, especially men? Grow up.
Cant understand that crying is normal and actually healthy emotionally? Grow up.
Cant show empathy to other people because your so concerned with you feeling comfortable? Grow up.
See how that works?
Chaos2Frozen
Member
For me it was "男人流血不流泪"
Literal meaning "Men shed blood not tears".
Rookje
Member
Because its a biological thing. Men are supposed to be strong leaders. You aren't strong if you cry because its a sign of weakness. Which biologically says you might have something emotionally wrong with you, which would make you a weak provider, which means you aren't a good mate, which means you could potentially not reproduce, which is the #1 priority of all biological beings.
Women cry for emotional release. Men deal with emotional release physically or verbally. Women who transition to men often lament that they are unable to make themselves cry, and miss being able to do so to reduce stress and improve their mood.
Women cry for emotional release. Men deal with emotional release physically or verbally. Women who transition to men often lament that they are unable to make themselves cry, and miss being able to do so to reduce stress and improve their mood.
Joyful
Member
things people actually believe
Monocle
Member
Sounds like you need to grow up yourself if you can't accept authentic displays of human emotion for what they are. Screw your macho bullshit. The very last things this world needs are more shame and emotional repression.
I'm not arguing for childish immaturity here, just tolerance and empathy for people who are genuinely overwhelmed by trying experiences. Let's please not promote or defend the ridiculous insecure charade some so-called adults engage in by pretending that showing their feelings is a sign of weakness. Real maturity starts with self-acceptance and the recognition that all people are emotional beings with flaws.
I remember reading an article from a transgender man, who said that when he started taking testosterone, his ability to cry was dramatically reduced, and when he wanted to cry, it wasn't the same emotional release consisting of wailing and sobbing as when he was a woman.
Whether it's true or just some strange anecdote, I don't know, but it certainly fits with what I've noticed.
Whether it's true or just some strange anecdote, I don't know, but it certainly fits with what I've noticed.
Westbahnhof
Banned
I cry. Happy tears, sad tears.
Seems really odd to surpress it.
Seems really odd to surpress it.
uncelestial
Member
What makes a man, Lebowski?
Funny to see this thread pop up tonight. Have had a really emotionally draining week over something that was going to happen today only for it to be put off to a later date. I came home from work and put on my "cry song" (we all have one of those don't we?) and had a massive cry for about 20 mins.
RuinerPrime
Member
I cry a lot. Mostly due to depression. I've had moments at work because of it, but it happens when I'm alone.
I typically cry or tear up over movies & hype/happy moments. I love hype tears for sure.
The one movie that got me the most was "A Long Way Down" not a great movie mind you, but for whatever reason I balled like a baby by the middle and end of it. My gf was there to comfort me lol. The movie was about suicide and depression and I related to Aaron Paul's character so much I couldn't stop crying for like an hour after it.
I can confirm that cry songs do exist.
Edit: lots of macho dudes in here
I typically cry or tear up over movies & hype/happy moments. I love hype tears for sure.
The one movie that got me the most was "A Long Way Down" not a great movie mind you, but for whatever reason I balled like a baby by the middle and end of it. My gf was there to comfort me lol. The movie was about suicide and depression and I related to Aaron Paul's character so much I couldn't stop crying for like an hour after it.
I can confirm that cry songs do exist.
Edit: lots of macho dudes in here