The point is, this shit is a dick-waving circus and when Conor and Floyd finally stop waving dicks they still won't solve anything. And I don't mean that in any kind of "fighting is never the answer" way. In order to explain, let's take a look at how modern boxing works. In most sports, the top athletes compete to determine the best in the world. In modern boxing, the top athletes avoid each other to protect perfect records and manipulate public interest in order to turn a cycle of anticipation and disappointment into money. Top contenders in boxing are like Charlie Sheen and AIDS-- for years, the whole world wonders why they aren't battling yet, and when they finally do it's just kind of sad.
The way boxing is evolving, there will soon be 4,000 divisions and organizations, each with its own undefeated champion and a single battered man who suffers all the sport's losses. They'll call this man Plurge Gobo, because that's all he'll say when fans recognize him in his wheelchair and beg him to stop. "Plurge Gobo!" he'll repeat as their hearts quietly break. "Plurge? Gobo?" he'll ask again, never quite sure why everyone cries when they meet him. "Plurge," he'll decide. "Gobo," he'll poop.
So most of boxing is about ducking, and no one is better at ducking enemies and punches than Floyd Mayweather. He's the greatest defensive boxer of all time and he's going up against a counter fighter competing in the wrong sport. He and Conor are going to circle and hug in a frustrating demonstration of why man invented kicks and machetes. Both MMA and boxing will end up looking bad, and everyone who buys the pay-per-view will have exactly $99.95 less love in their heart. Then again, Plurge Gobo has proven magic is real if we only reach for it, so maybe the fight will be great and everyone will be happy?
