• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Restaurant closing

C

cryptic

Member
So I just was informed the place I've called home since moving to NYC six months ago will be closing Saturday.
These past six months later, I missed all those months of my life, forced to work multiple positions at a wage that, has left me nearly worse off than when I started.
Holes in my shoes, old clothes, candy and milk for food every night.
I'm so envious of the people who could afford to go to school.
I never had the money or the encouragement and everyday is just, a nightmare, of isolation, of coping strategies that forever estrange, of self-destructive behaviors as you want desperately to escape what at the same time sustains you.
There's been so many days I've cried, so many days I had to call the suicide hotline.
I can't reveal too many details, but we're somewhere on the Michelin list, and we kept our star/stars this year.
But it all takes more than it can ever give.
They throw us out like trash now, which I guess is how it always is in this industry, how it always is with the working class, and it's assumed that we had a choice.
I'm thankfully receiving some support from the friends I met, the wonderful people who make all this worthwhile, but, I don't know what the point is anymore.
It becomes so much a part of your life, that the loss of it feels similar to the ending of a life.

Anyone have any similar stories from this industry?
Thanks.
 
Discourse

Discourse

Member
I've worked in a thankless industry myself. One thing I've learned from experience is that as one door closes, another door opens. It might seem like wasted time now but the experience you gained will set you up for better opportunities.

I had a friend who was an artist who was really struggling financially but he was brilliant, everyone always told him. He applied for a cartoonist job at a major newspaper and long story short, he killed himself the day before the paper called his mom to say he got the job that would have transformed his life. I took this as a life lesson to never give up because just after you do was when it was your turn to win.
 
C

cryptic

Member
Thanks. I read that Gordon ramsay amazing and that is strikingly similar to my everyday for the last three plus years.
 
I

InfiniteBento

Member
Do not give up on your skills despite your restaurant closing. Training does not matter if you are consumed with passion for your craft in this industry. You have only scratched the surface of your career and there is still so much more to experience. You HAVE TO believe in yourself. At the end of the day, you are all you've got and loving yourself is crucial in these times of doubt and negativity. If you believe in yourself, the sky is the god damn limit. Your restaurant may close but those memories and lessons learned will last a lifetime. You will mourn its loss but you will grow immensely from this experience.

For the record, Im assistant head chef in the industry in Chicago. I am also severely mentally ill. I dropped out of school 3/4ths of the way through. I worked my ass off grinding to prove myself when everyone else had miles more experience + stable brains to keep them running. I outlasted them all and have proven that experience doesn't mean shit. You can do absolutely fucking anything if you believe in yourself. You cannot give up. There are countless resources to help you study your craft and find a new kitchen to call home, I can provide some if you would like them. You have SO much more to give than this and I may not know you but I believe in you!!!
 
highrider

highrider

Banned
InfiniteBento said:
Do not give up on your skills despite your restaurant closing. Training does not matter if you are consumed with passion for your craft in this industry. You have only scratched the surface of your career and there is still so much more to experience. You HAVE TO believe in yourself. At the end of the day, you are all you've got and loving yourself is crucial in these times of doubt and negativity. If you believe in yourself, the sky is the god damn limit. Your restaurant may close but those memories and lessons learned will last a lifetime. You will mourn its loss but you will grow immensely from this experience.

For the record, Im assistant head chef in the industry in Chicago. I am also severely mentally ill. I dropped out of school 3/4ths of the way through. I worked my ass off grinding to prove myself when everyone else had miles more experience + stable brains to keep them running. I outlasted them all and have proven that experience doesn't mean shit. You can do absolutely fucking anything if you believe in yourself. You cannot give up. There are countless resources to help you study your craft and find a new kitchen to call home, I can provide some if you would like them. You have SO much more to give than this and I may not know you but I believe in you!!!
Click to expand...

I’m a chef as well and just wanted to say awesome post, couldn’t agree more.

Op I’m sorry you’re having all the hard times, but try to focus on using your skills and passion in an environment that will hopefully foster that. Try not to get too pessimistic, it doesn’t get you anywhere. I hope you find a solution to your mental issues, or at least make them more bearable.
 
gimmmick

gimmmick

Member
I have worked in food & beverage for 13.5 years and it's never pretty. My last job was a Sous Chef gig at one of the restaurant at MGM grand. You really have to love what you are doing because working 10 - 14 hours a day as a manager will take its toll on you mentally and psychically. Hope you land back on your feet and enter a job environment where you enjoy doing what you are doing. I feel blessed I get paid highest in the country and still am able to have a life of my own and not be married to the restaurant I work for.

On a side note , my closest friends I have made and still talk too on a daily basis have been from restaurants / hotels I have worked for. They are pretty much an extended family since I have seen them so many days of the week and have spent constant holidays together.
 
Exr

Exr

Member
Youre still in my thoughts from time to time friend, I hope you can keep your head up.
 
Ichabod

Ichabod

Banned
Sounds like one hell of an origin story to me. Years down the line, long after you've made it through this and found your way, never forget what you rose above.

Is military service an option? It could be an option for getting yourself back in school.
 
Z

Zyzyxxz

Member
cryptic said:
So I just was informed the place I've called home since moving to NYC six months ago will be closing Saturday.
These past six months later, I missed all those months of my life, forced to work multiple positions at a wage that, has left me nearly worse off than when I started.
Holes in my shoes, old clothes, candy and milk for food every night.
I'm so envious of the people who could afford to go to school.
I never had the money or the encouragement and everyday is just, a nightmare, of isolation, of coping strategies that forever estrange, of self-destructive behaviors as you want desperately to escape what at the same time sustains you.
There's been so many days I've cried, so many days I had to call the suicide hotline.
I can't reveal too many details, but we're somewhere on the Michelin list, and we kept our star/stars this year.
But it all takes more than it can ever give.
They throw us out like trash now, which I guess is how it always is in this industry, how it always is with the working class, and it's assumed that we had a choice.
I'm thankfully receiving some support from the friends I met, the wonderful people who make all this worthwhile, but, I don't know what the point is anymore.
It becomes so much a part of your life, that the loss of it feels similar to the ending of a life.

Anyone have any similar stories from this industry?
Thanks.
Click to expand...

As someone who has devoted most of his adult life to the industry (7+ years) I have had my doubts and ups and downs!

I will tell you this, your michelin star experience is worth something! Considering I've never had the ability to stage at that level I still have been able to achieve success in my market of Los Angeles. If I can make it so can you! I'd understand if you want to leave the industry but one thing I wish I had learned sooner is that I now know what I am worth and I am not afraid to ask for it. You don't have to work for minimum wage for years on end, I wish I had started asking for me earlier on! The labor market is tight and restaurants are opening left and right but theres not enough staff for them, you are in a employees market and you can choose your own job.

Try to take time off, spend time with friends, travel and decompress and come back ready to tackle the world I know for me I have to travel consistently to make sure I don't lose hope but I'm at the point where I feel confident to open my own restaurant because I know I am worth it and deserve to and if you want it theres no reason to tell yourself you don't deserve it one day. It doesn't have to be a constant grind, take your days off, don't do the unpaid overtime unless you really want to, make time for yourself! I've learned that your business won't crumble when you aren't there, you can take a few days off and everything will be fine and its taken time for me to figure that out. NYC is a tough place to live on a cooks pay but whether you choose to move to another city or try to make it work where you are now, don't lose hope and believe in yourself. People will start valuing you more only if you start valuing yourself first.
 
L

Lord Thrappleper The 49th

Member
Ex-chef here. I feel you. You are not alone.

Being a chef is a universal trade. You can go anywhere and somebody will need a chef. Be proud that you have that kind of essential skill. You will always be a valued member of the workforce.
 
A

Ailile

Neo Member
My sister is a GM of a restaurant.
- She can't keep good help. Anyone who can put in the hours and have a good attitude are treated like gold. Don't be afraid to look around.

To get away from the business, have you thought about a temp agency?
 
C

cryptic

Member
InfiniteBento said:
Do not give up on your skills despite your restaurant closing. Training does not matter if you are consumed with passion for your craft in this industry. You have only scratched the surface of your career and there is still so much more to experience. You HAVE TO believe in yourself. At the end of the day, you are all you've got and loving yourself is crucial in these times of doubt and negativity. If you believe in yourself, the sky is the god damn limit. Your restaurant may close but those memories and lessons learned will last a lifetime. You will mourn its loss but you will grow immensely from this experience.

For the record, Im assistant head chef in the industry in Chicago. I am also severely mentally ill. I dropped out of school 3/4ths of the way through. I worked my ass off grinding to prove myself when everyone else had miles more experience + stable brains to keep them running. I outlasted them all and have proven that experience doesn't mean shit. You can do absolutely fucking anything if you believe in yourself. You cannot give up. There are countless resources to help you study your craft and find a new kitchen to call home, I can provide some if you would like them. You have SO much more to give than this and I may not know you but I believe in you!!!
Click to expand...

Thank you. This post really improved my mood and I'm inspired by your story. I'm at a point where I'm so tired, I'm going to need to rest. I may collect unemployment for a while, though that may not be enough.
 
C

cryptic

Member
I like the idea of being able to travel, but honestly, I don't see any viable way, asking for something like fifteen an hour as a line cook is seen as a bit much in this trade. So I've always been able to make only enough.
I wouldn't mind trying something else, but as sad as it, most other entry level jobs will pay even less.
I wish I had an opportunity to be a server, just to make some money for a bit, as they make on average three times what a cook makes.
I know that's sort of sacrilege and I love what I do, sometimes...when it comes together, but I just woke up... I tried to sleep the whole day away...
I've been homeless before in this industry, I've been verbally, and sexually harassed/assaulted, I'm looking at my options, how tired I am... I'm terrified.. I'm just always backed into a corner, pushed to the razors edge, after I've given everything, and I always am told that 'cos I am young, I will be fine.
I'm not going to be okay, no matter what, I'm never going to be fine, as far as an origin story, I would never want to share this as life just shouldn't be this way. No one should have to endure always feeling on edge like in you're war as you live your normal life even.
Desperately looking for happiness everywhere you go, with nothing to spend.
I'm being melodramatic right now but yeah I'll keep trying but only as there is no other choice for me.
People always tell me there's always a.choice, but that's not fair to me, that's not a fair estimation of the pressures that have been applied with the resources given.
I'm so tired, but I can't take a break.
Travel without risking everything.
I have to just keep going.

I'm so, so thankful for everyones advice and support though, I'm just completely overwhelmed right now by what I'm facing. I have a few potential jobs I'll be trialing for soon. I'll see how they go.
 
Z

Zyzyxxz

Member
While you're right that we may not know what presssures you face outside your worklife I still think that you can find the right place for you.

No shame in going FOH, I've heard of plenty of cooks who went server, wine sommelier, heck a good friend of mine who use to work the line with me is now a general mananger of a restaurant. If you think you would like the work give it a try the pay is certainly better but you would only be trading certain restaurant annoyances for new ones. (i.e. having to deal with customers directly)

Have you thought about checking out Philly or DC? Tons of restaurants opening in those markets and the costs of living is lower for sure.

Good luck either way and honestly if you think you are worth $15/hr then ask for it, worst case is they offer you a little less but its the ideal job and you can live with it then try it.
 
C

cryptic

Member
Zyzyxxz said:
While you're right that we may not know what presssures you face outside your worklife I still think that you can find the right place for you.

No shame in going FOH, I've heard of plenty of cooks who went server, wine sommelier, heck a good friend of mine who use to work the line with me is now a general mananger of a restaurant. If you think you would like the work give it a try the pay is certainly better but you would only be trading certain restaurant annoyances for new ones. (i.e. having to deal with customers directly)

Have you thought about checking out Philly or DC? Tons of restaurants opening in those markets and the costs of living is lower for sure.

Good luck either way and honestly if you think you are worth $15/hr then ask for it, worst case is they offer you a little less but its the ideal job and you can live with it then try it.
Click to expand...


I have been getting and asking for fifteen an hour. Honestly, doing the math, 18 an hour full-time only comes to 35,000.
In this city, living alone, that's nothing.
I was making 14 before and I have very limited savings.
It's another instance of experience, when considering transitioning to foh. There's always been a sort of stigma against cooks, introverted hothead, and I've found it nearly impossible to move lines with my history in the industry, or it's just me.

I have an interview tomorrow but I'm finding myself reflecting and I don't see any way forward I can accept. I'm on the verge of buying a plane ticket to Paris or England to take a shot at finding work there.
I just.feel like I need another radical change to find the will to keep going.
 
F

Furyous

Member
OP, have you considered applying for jobs abroad? Look at Canada, Australia, and New Zealand for example. Stick with it and things will pay off. The industry feels like it's going through a transition and things are getting rougher every day. Keep your head and start developing skills in case of an emergency need to transition away from the industry.
 
V

vesp

Member
cryptic said:
I have been getting and asking for fifteen an hour. Honestly, doing the math, 18 an hour full-time only comes to 35,000.
In this city, living alone, that's nothing.
I was making 14 before and I have very limited savings.
It's another instance of experience, when considering transitioning to foh. There's always been a sort of stigma against cooks, introverted hothead, and I've found it nearly impossible to move lines with my history in the industry, or it's just me.

I have an interview tomorrow but I'm finding myself reflecting and I don't see any way forward I can accept. I'm on the verge of buying a plane ticket to Paris or England to take a shot at finding work there.
I just.feel like I need another radical change to find the will to keep going.
Click to expand...

The only real answer that doesn’t involve leaving the industry is stepping up to management or getting a second job. It’s shitty but those are the breaks. I gave up fine dining and started running casual (but still scratch) kitchens and was able to get my salary into then 60k range in Seattle which while not cheap does not compare to NYC yet in living costs.

That being said the 60-100 hour weeks for a still pretty modest salary still burned me out of the industry and am now back to an hourly job (roughly $20) while going to school for programming.

Michelin starred restaraunts don’t pay well in general because they don’t have too, there’s still plenty of interesting places putting out good food in more casual settings that can make it more worthwhile financially (at the cost of ego and perhaps passion)
 
C

cryptic

Member
mashoutposse said:
Until you find steady work

https://newyork.craigslist.org/d/gigs/search/ggg

https://newyork.craigslist.org/d/customer-service/search/csr (Unskilled labor)

Community college in NY is nearly free, $5k per year for full-time, and that’s before any financial aid

http://www2.cuny.edu/financial-aid/...sts/tuition-fees/#1452179204200-d27abe14-99f4

You have no excuse
Click to expand...
Well, I have been trying to get the excelsior grant to attend Suny, cuny, but I'm realizing it's unrealistic with how exhausting, both physically and mentally the restaurant work is. The schedules are also generally all over and a full-time schedule often leads to heavy overtime.
Otherwise I'd return to school for nursing.
 
C

cryptic

Member
I have been heavily considering jumping on a plane to find work in England or Paris, something under the table.
I'm already soured on NYC tbh.
vesp said:
The only real answer that doesn’t involve leaving the industry is stepping up to management or getting a second job. It’s shitty but those are the breaks. I gave up fine dining and started running casual (but still scratch) kitchens and was able to get my salary into then 60k range in Seattle which while not cheap does not compare to NYC yet in living costs.

That being said the 60-100 hour weeks for a still pretty modest salary still burned me out of the industry and am now back to an hourly job (roughly $20) while going to school for programming.

Michelin starred restaraunts don’t pay well in general because they don’t have too, there’s still plenty of interesting places putting out good food in more casual settings that can make it more worthwhile financially (at the cost of ego and perhaps passion)
Click to expand...

The first thing I'm asked from most other chefs is what my second job is.
I'm not moving into management anytime soon, it's just nwver been pushed to me as a viable option.

What you learn in a Michelin kitchen is what lead me to it. Also, the potential for growth it grants by broadening your resume.
When I moved to new york, I had accepted a job offer, only to find they were overstaffed, they then pushed me out in a period of very heightened anxiety, and I was forced to scramble to take a job, I was offered three, and this was by far the cleanest kitchen/restaurant.

I have three jobs on the table now. Three interviews in the coming days, but I've hit a low of very extreme self-hatred from ten years of isolation bubbling up, and now I have time to reflect. I just starting to realize how old I'm starting to look, and there's a lot of life I've missed. I'm a bit of shock now. I really am so hurt by the way people get treated in all reality.
It's enough to make you want to give up.
The realities of love being not free at all.
How hard it is to even talk to people.
My lifestyle is so far removed from normal people, the people I want to be friends with, that it's nigh impossible to relate.
I've been listening to a lot of joy division to not feel alone in this, colony really fits the mood.

I am a millennial I guess and I really agree it was so wrong to give us this very hopeful, idyllic view of life.
 
mashoutposse

mashoutposse

Ante Up
cryptic said:
Well, I have been trying to get the excelsior grant to attend Suny, cuny, but I'm realizing it's unrealistic with how exhausting, both physically and mentally the restaurant work is. The schedules are also generally all over and a full-time schedule often leads to heavy overtime.
Otherwise I'd return to school for nursing.
Click to expand...

Perfect first step. The Excelsior Grant application and selection process is straightforward and essentially guaranteed as long as you meet the eligibility requirements.

Warehouse and logistics jobs are much more flexible and less mentally demanding than restaurant jobs since they’re not customer-facing and pay similarly. All companies that deal with physical goods need warm bodies to move and deliver stuff or contract with companies that do. Find a job moving and sorting boxes nights and weekends while you get your education.
 
C

cryptic

Member
mashoutposse said:
Perfect first step. The Excelsior Grant application and selection process is straightforward and essentially guaranteed as long as you meet the eligibility requirements.

Warehouse and logistics jobs are much more flexible and less mentally demanding than restaurant jobs since they’re not customer-facing and pay similarly. All companies that deal with physical goods need warm bodies to move and deliver stuff or contract with companies that do. Find a job moving and sorting boxes nights and weekends while you get your education.
Click to expand...

I want to keep in restaurants. So I'll just weekend it I guess.
It's such a thing though.
It's the same reason why the restaurant industry is rife with alcoholics and drug addicts, why there's a nationwide epidemic.
The sacrifice required will not necessarily justify the reward.
A greater pay, a greater sense of security, but I've come to realize what you endure through being deprived of your youth, a social life, it's not something you ever recover from.
There's not ever going to be a moment where I ever feel like I belong in any work environment, I'll never be able to even begin to relate to my peers who are simply handed everything.
It's what I have to do. I have no choice.
For everyone else, but it's an incredible burden to bare, and it's never really ever going to be justified.
Thank you for the support,it's going to push me to it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

How do I deal with PTSD?
23
1K
Leopold replied
Wanking Emails: (Up: Also Op is a serial wanker possibly twice between emails)
39
3K
BlackTron replied
'Perfect solar system' found in search for alien life'
2
50
3K
German Hops replied
Asians who grew up in the 1980s -do you look back fondly on that time?
5
826
analog_future replied
Last night I had to put my cat to sleep
9
571
Blade2.0 replied
Top Bottom