• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Dating Age |OT7| Tough Love

K

Kevtones

Member
AdanVC said:
Hello Dating-GAF. It me, the hopeless loser hooked to this girl who ignores me yet she doesn't want me to leave her.

I haven't update because honestly everything remains the same with her but at least I stopped worrying too much and just try to mind my business while she minds her own despite continuing being "in a relationship" As always, she says she is mad mad MAD busy with school/work and I understand. Last night however, I talked briefly with her and told me she is going to "escape" to a concert of her favorite band. Problem is, her dad didn't allow her to go AND the concert is going to be in another city. Despite of that, she is already on her way to the concert happening tonight.

Hahah I feel like an absolute utter shit right now. She doesn't have 10 minutes to chat or go out with me but she has the time to escape and go to a concert in another city with who knows who. She now will probably get grounded by her dad and we would probably never going out never again because of that. I think this was the last nail on the coffin. I've been extremely patience with her but my god... seriously I'm so pissed off right now I needed to vent somewhere and since I don't have friends, this is the only place to do so. :'/
Click to expand...

Dude we told you weeks/months ago and you have taken none of our advice. It is so obvious she is done with you and for that matter is treating you like shit.


- Her new guy is probably taking her to said concert (don't accuse this)
- She shows you NO respect
- You are playing into her beliefs by sticking around
- DUMP HER. Do it polite and unemotional. Make it quick and don't respond to her ploys to your emotions.

End this chapter of your life and move forward.
 
M

meow

Member
AdanVC said:
Hello Dating-GAF. It me, the hopeless loser hooked to this girl who ignores me yet she doesn't want me to leave her.

I haven't update because honestly everything remains the same with her but at least I stopped worrying too much and just try to mind my business while she minds her own despite continuing being "in a relationship" As always, she says she is mad mad MAD busy with school/work and I understand. Last night however, I talked briefly with her and told me she is going to "escape" to a concert of her favorite band. Problem is, her dad didn't allow her to go AND the concert is going to be in another city. Despite of that, she is already on her way to the concert happening tonight.

Hahah I feel like an absolute utter shit right now. She doesn't have 10 minutes to chat or go out with me but she has the time to escape and go to a concert in another city with who knows who. She now will probably get grounded by her dad and we would probably never going out never again because of that. I think this was the last nail on the coffin. I've been extremely patience with her but my god... seriously I'm so pissed off right now I needed to vent somewhere and since I don't have friends, this is the only place to do so. :'/
Click to expand...
Literally no one (and yes, I mean literally, not like when people say literally as emphasis only) in the world is so busy they don't have 10 minutes to chat with their supposed significant other. LITERALLY. NO. ONE.
 
L

Llyranor

Member
AdanVC said:
Hello Dating-GAF. It me, the hopeless loser hooked to this girl who ignores me yet she doesn't want me to leave her.

I haven't update because honestly everything remains the same with her but at least I stopped worrying too much and just try to mind my business while she minds her own despite continuing being "in a relationship" As always, she says she is mad mad MAD busy with school/work and I understand. Last night however, I talked briefly with her and told me she is going to "escape" to a concert of her favorite band. Problem is, her dad didn't allow her to go AND the concert is going to be in another city. Despite of that, she is already on her way to the concert happening tonight.

Hahah I feel like an absolute utter shit right now. She doesn't have 10 minutes to chat or go out with me but she has the time to escape and go to a concert in another city with who knows who. She now will probably get grounded by her dad and we would probably never going out never again because of that. I think this was the last nail on the coffin. I've been extremely patience with her but my god... seriously I'm so pissed off right now I needed to vent somewhere and since I don't have friends, this is the only place to do so. :'/
Click to expand...

You SHOULD be pissed off. At yourself. This is on you.
 
A

AdanVC

Member
Thank you for your words and advice, guys. Hah, well she is 21 and I just turned 27. Her dad is still very estrict and protective with her. But yeah I had enough. I honestly feel so utilized and offended by her right now. This act she pulled is a clear indicator that she simply doesn't care enough for me after all this months coming with excuses to not go out or talk with me. Oh boy but when it comes to traveling to another freaking city to a concert despite the consequences, she is going to be 100% in no matter if there's need to skip work and school. I honestly don't think she is actually seeing somebody else, she is genuinely busy af with school/work, plus she is very introvert just like me and she has a very tough personality so she doesn't trust in anybody else just like that. That's why I tried so hard to keep the posture and being patience with her, because I thought she was going to be worth it on the long term by having a girlfriend with that personality... but it seems she simply doesn't give a damn about me despite she saying the opposite. This act she did totally prove it. Siiighhhhh. I don't even feel like start talking to another girls or go back to Tinder. Right now I just want to lay down on my bed until I pass out. Fuck just when I was on the middle of doing an important work commision right now, this just ruined me don't know how I'm gonna finish it now.
 
Blam

Blam

Member
AdanVC said:
Thank you for your words and advice, guys. Hah, well she is 21 and I just turned 27. Her dad is still very estrict and protective with her. But yeah I had enough. I honestly feel so utilized and offended by her right now. This act she pulled is a clear indicator that she simply doesn't care enough for me after all this months coming with excuses to not go out or talk with me. Oh boy but when it comes to traveling to another freaking city to a concert despite the consequences, she is going to be 100% in no matter if there's need to skip work and school. I honestly don't think she is actually seeing somebody else, she is genuinely busy af with school/work, plus she is very introvert just like me and she has a very tough personality so she doesn't trust in anybody else just like that. That's why I tried so hard to keep the posture and being patience with her, because I thought she was going to be worth it on the long term by having a girlfriend with that personality... but it seems she simply doesn't give a damn about me despite she saying the opposite. This act she did totally prove it. Siiighhhhh. I don't even feel like start talking to another girls or go back to Tinder. Right now I just want to lay down on my bed until I pass out. Fuck just when I was on the middle of doing an important work commision right now, this just ruined me don't know how I'm gonna finish it now.
Click to expand...

Don't let her effect your life too much. Just honestly try to minimalise the impact she's going to have on you as much as you can.
 
K

Kevtones

Member
AdanVC said:
Thank you for your words and advice, guys. Hah, well she is 21 and I just turned 27. Her dad is still very estrict and protective with her. But yeah I had enough. I honestly feel so utilized and offended by her right now. This act she pulled is a clear indicator that she simply doesn't care enough for me after all this months coming with excuses to not go out or talk with me. Oh boy but when it comes to traveling to another freaking city to a concert despite the consequences, she is going to be 100% in no matter if there's need to skip work and school. I honestly don't think she is actually seeing somebody else, she is genuinely busy af with school/work, plus she is very introvert just like me and she has a very tough personality so she doesn't trust in anybody else just like that. That's why I tried so hard to keep the posture and being patience with her, because I thought she was going to be worth it on the long term by having a girlfriend with that personality... but it seems she simply doesn't give a damn about me despite she saying the opposite. This act she did totally prove it. Siiighhhhh. I don't even feel like start talking to another girls or go back to Tinder. Right now I just want to lay down on my bed until I pass out. Fuck just when I was on the middle of doing an important work commision right now, this just ruined me don't know how I'm gonna finish it now.
Click to expand...


When was the last time you saw her? Physically? When was the last time you kissed her? Made love? When was the last time she called you unprompted?

She is a woman hasn't had 10 minutes out of her day, for months, for you. Not having that for even a week is a HUGE red flag.

You need to STOP LETTING HER CONTROL YOU. She is a virtual stranger to you at this point. Take back control of your life Adan. It's okay to feel lost, blind, whatever it is - many of us have been there in one or another. We hate seeing you controlled by a young woman that is only using her for her own emotional stability.



If you lived in SoCal I'd take you out for a beer and a night on the town and help you clear your head. We are all here for you.
 
Z

Zaphrynn

Member
AdanVC said:
Thank you for your words and advice, guys. Hah, well she is 21 and I just turned 27. Her dad is still very estrict and protective with her. But yeah I had enough. I honestly feel so utilized and offended by her right now. This act she pulled is a clear indicator that she simply doesn't care enough for me after all this months coming with excuses to not go out or talk with me. Oh boy but when it comes to traveling to another freaking city to a concert despite the consequences, she is going to be 100% in no matter if there's need to skip work and school. I honestly don't think she is actually seeing somebody else, she is genuinely busy af with school/work, plus she is very introvert just like me and she has a very tough personality so she doesn't trust in anybody else just like that. That's why I tried so hard to keep the posture and being patience with her, because I thought she was going to be worth it on the long term by having a girlfriend with that personality... but it seems she simply doesn't give a damn about me despite she saying the opposite. This act she did totally prove it. Siiighhhhh. I don't even feel like start talking to another girls or go back to Tinder. Right now I just want to lay down on my bed until I pass out. Fuck just when I was on the middle of doing an important work commision right now, this just ruined me don't know how I'm gonna finish it now.
Click to expand...


Alright look, it's gonna hurt to hear, but she doesn't give a shit about you. Not a shit. Her actions clearly state that. Even if she actually calls you her boyfriend, her actions say otherwise. I can call the sun a moon all day, doesn't make that sun anything but a sun.

You can call her your girlfriend, but that doesn't mean you have a relationship. I'm busy as hell with school, and I always can make time for my boyfriend. I do this because I want to, and because I care about his feelings.

Dump this woman (who still gets grounded at 21. Honestly her dad sounds like a creep), and move on. Work on improving yourself, because you clearly need to work on your self-esteem. Quit letting this girl drag your down.

Start respecting yourself, and break up. Stop talking to her.


Obligatory mindfulness plug because this book has helped me cope with my depression and anxiety immensely (along with SSRIs). I recommend the audiobook, because I can listen to it while driving, so I have no excuse not to, haha:



https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0807012394/?tag=neogaf0e-20


Need help with friends and relating to people? Need help with social anxiety?

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1572245921/?tag=neogaf0e-20


Improving yourself is hard as hell. There's no sugar-coating that. But things do get better if you work at it. Time passes anyways, might as well start growing now.
 
S

Subpar Scrub

Banned
AdanVC, message her “our relationship is over”, then delete and block her. I’m going to overstep my position a little here, but If until you do this, I really don’t want to see you in here again about the same issue for the 8th time. The second you do, I’ll be stoked for you and help you with anything you need, but this is just getting ridiculous.

She doesn’t give a fuck about you. This can’t go on forever, so it’ll have to come to a head eventually. End it now, because all it’s doing is negatively affecting your mental health and work. End. This. Shit.

I won’t acknowledge any of your further posts until you’re done with her.
 
M

mike6467

Member
So last week I agreed to get sushi tonight with this girl (3rd date) without thinking too much about it.

I was swamped all week and just realized we have nothing setup for after. Aside from generic pool/bowling/drinking, any suggestions for activities that don't require much planning that I could bring up at dinner?

I'm hoping to sell her on movies or whatever at my place, but if that doesn't fly then I'd like to have a non-half assed backup.
 
S

Subpar Scrub

Banned
mike6467 said:
I'm hoping to sell her on movies or whatever at my place, but if that doesn't fly then I'd like to have a non-half assed backup.
Click to expand...

Your suggestions are fine, bowling or casual drinks are a pretty good follow up. You don’t have to do anything too extravagant to have a fun time and if it’s going on to the 3rd date, she clearly enjoys her time with you.
 
B

Beren the Empty-Handed

Member
I’m cooking dinner for the girl I’ve been seeing tonight. We’ve been hanging out a lot since the second date and we’ve decided to be exclusive.

Everything’s going so well and it feels really nice. In a couple of weeks I’ll bring up the topic of being in a bf/gf relationship, but she might bring it up first lol.

Just gotta keep up what I’ve been doing I guess!
 
Jzero

Jzero

Member
Beren the Empty-Handed said:
We’ve been hanging out a lot since the second date and we’ve decided to be exclusive.
In a couple of weeks I’ll bring up the topic of being in a bf/gf relationship, but she might bring it up first lol.

Just gotta keep up what I’ve been doing I guess!
Click to expand...
Wait what? I thought "being exclusive" automatically made them your girlfriend. I need to brush up on my dating lingo.
 
P

PARANO1A

Member
I'm recently single again in my thirties and back on the dating scene. I'm having lots of fun... I'm a bit out of touch with dating in general after a string of long term relationships, so would appreciate some general advice.

How many people is a decent amount to be seeing at once? I'm not looking for love, just fun and sex with awesome people. Right now there's one girl that's basically a FWB situation, and three to four others are actual dates scattered across the week. I have a few others wanting to have a first date in a pretty steady stream too. It's a bit much so I'll slow down proactively contacting new people, but is it normal to have quite a few prospective dates that you're having sex with on the go at once?

Related - is this considered weird? Like, there's no lying involved. I assume they're dating others too which is fine. Is there a point it becomes weird? Or am I right in assuming that would only be an issue much later, like when / if the 'exclusive' chat happens, likely months down the road if we're still interested in each other?
 
Jzero

Jzero

Member
PARANO1A said:
I'm recently single again in my thirties and back on the dating scene. I'm having lots of fun... I'm a bit out of touch with dating in general after a string of long term relationships, so would appreciate some general advice.

How many people is a decent amount to be seeing at once? I'm not looking for love, just fun and sex with awesome people. Right now there's one girl that's basically a FWB situation, and three to four others are actual dates scattered across the week. I have a few others wanting to have a first date in a pretty steady stream too. It's a bit much so I'll slow down proactively contacting new people, but is it normal to have quite a few prospective dates that you're having sex with on the go at once?
Click to expand...
That's really a personal thing and totally up to you. Some people can date a million people at once while some of us can only do one.
 
S

Subpar Scrub

Banned
PARANO1A said:
Related - is this considered weird? Like, there's no lying involved. I assume they're dating others too which is fine. Is there a point it becomes weird? Or am I right in assuming that would only be an issue much later, like when / if the 'exclusive' chat happens, likely months down the road if we're still interested in each other?
Click to expand...

You’re right that it could get weird if one of you catches feelings or perceives it as something more than just a casual fling. I guess just be ready for that.
 
S

Salamando

Member
Mentioned this in the Discord, but this situation is way too weird to keep there.

Small bit of background info: Every Friday, my friends and I have a game night. We host it in public and it's not exclusive or anything like that. For the past couple of weeks, I'd pick up a (female) friend, drive her there, and take her home.

Last friday, she leaves early, and I get a few bizarre Facebook messages.
RAkotSn.png

rXny0TY.png
Click to expand...
I'm at a loss on how to explain that. She's fishing for information, but for whom? For her attached friend? For her attached friend, to set-up a threesome? For herself? I have no interest in any of those scenarios, so I let the weird thing be a weird thing.

Fast forward to this week, I get some more messages before game night.
BuT2Eze.png
Click to expand...
That girl she's talking about - It's kinda-racist girl! We didn't just "go on a date", we dated for over a month. We got to know each other in the biblical sense. And with my friend (and presumably her sister) being black, puts the kinda racist thing in new perspective.

And that last message...things will sure as shit be awkward now!
RlXYtKT.gif
 
V

vypek

Member
Please keep us updated, Salamando. I'm very invested in this story/situation now. Hopefully it's not ridiculously awkward if she does go to game night
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
AdanVC said:
Hello Dating-GAF. It me, the hopeless loser hooked to this girl who ignores me yet she doesn't want me to leave her.

I haven't update because honestly everything remains the same with her but at least I stopped worrying too much and just try to mind my business while she minds her own despite continuing being "in a relationship" As always, she says she is mad mad MAD busy with school/work and I understand. Last night however, I talked briefly with her and told me she is going to "escape" to a concert of her favorite band. Problem is, her dad didn't allow her to go AND the concert is going to be in another city. Despite of that, she is already on her way to the concert happening tonight.

Hahah I feel like an absolute utter shit right now. She doesn't have 10 minutes to chat or go out with me but she has the time to escape and go to a concert in another city with who knows who. She now will probably get grounded by her dad and we would probably never going out never again because of that. I think this was the last nail on the coffin. I've been extremely patience with her but my god... seriously I'm so pissed off right now I needed to vent somewhere and since I don't have friends, this is the only place to do so. :'/
Click to expand...

I'm sorry to be rude, but you are a coward who just can't seem to leave this girl. This has been going on for months and it's the same old story. You're just not taking any of the advice given in this thread, so I don't see any point to this other than you using DatingGAF as your LiveJournal.
 
S

Scotch

Member
I'm sorry Adan, but this is just getting pathetic. How hard can it even be to break up with a girl you haven't seen in months? You only have yourself to blame at this point.
 
artsi

artsi

Member
AdanVC said:
Thank you for your words and advice, guys. Hah, well she is 21 and I just turned 27. Her dad is still very estrict and protective with her. But yeah I had enough. I honestly feel so utilized and offended by her right now. This act she pulled is a clear indicator that she simply doesn't care enough for me after all this months coming with excuses to not go out or talk with me. Oh boy but when it comes to traveling to another freaking city to a concert despite the consequences, she is going to be 100% in no matter if there's need to skip work and school. I honestly don't think she is actually seeing somebody else, she is genuinely busy af with school/work, plus she is very introvert just like me and she has a very tough personality so she doesn't trust in anybody else just like that. That's why I tried so hard to keep the posture and being patience with her, because I thought she was going to be worth it on the long term by having a girlfriend with that personality... but it seems she simply doesn't give a damn about me despite she saying the opposite. This act she did totally prove it. Siiighhhhh. I don't even feel like start talking to another girls or go back to Tinder. Right now I just want to lay down on my bed until I pass out. Fuck just when I was on the middle of doing an important work commision right now, this just ruined me don't know how I'm gonna finish it now.
Click to expand...

The problem: You're letting her treat you like shit.
Solution to your problem: Stop letting her treat you like shit.

Man up and do the right thing, end the relationship and move on.

If you're not doing what everyone is telling you to then why are you here?
 
X

Xun

Member
End it Adan, seriously.

Beren the Empty-Handed said:
I’m cooking dinner for the girl I’ve been seeing tonight. We’ve been hanging out a lot since the second date and we’ve decided to be exclusive.

Everything’s going so well and it feels really nice. In a couple of weeks I’ll bring up the topic of being in a bf/gf relationship, but she might bring it up first lol.

Just gotta keep up what I’ve been doing I guess!
Click to expand...
I'm really happy for you man.

Although by being exclusive surely you're already in a bf/gf relationship?
 
S

saizo

Member
Scotch said:
I'm sorry Adan, but this is just getting pathetic. How hard can it even be to break up with a girl you haven't seen in months? You only have yourself to blame at this point.
Click to expand...

Does anybody else remember that one thread about a gaffer who was flying out to see some girl? This reminds me of that

Also I forgot his username, but that thread was gold.
 
P

PixelatedBookake

Junior Member
Aw damn. The chick I met two weeks ago hasn't responded to "are we still on for tomorrow?" for our planned date. And its in an hour. She seemed interested at first but I dunno. Since I tend to get canceled on/stood up often Imma stop trying for a good minute to get some self-reflection/work on some issues. Hopefully I learn a thing or two.
 
G

Galang

Banned
I saw ashodin on the new forum. Easily the worst part of these dating threads. Yall should be pleased. It was a toss up between SmokeyDave, HiResDes and Ashodin as gaf's most annoying wankers
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Is Mode One an effective dating strategy for men?
2
65
4K
German Hops replied
Sexualizing
Opinion Drama Science 2
62
5K
Raonak replied
Museum reclassifies Roman emperor as trans woman
2 3
123
7K
Artoris replied
Silent Hill 2 Remake ESRB Rating Highlights Sexual Themes, Violence, and Playable Weapons
News
24
1K
solidus12 replied
Are We Dating the Same Guy?
2 3
149
10K
Days like these... replied
Top Bottom