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Many probably false Cafe-related rumours posted on 4Chan, some by "ESRB employee"

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Chiggs

Chiggs

Member
Instro said:
I feel bad for Nintendo with shit like this going around the hype level is going to be way too high. Fuck me.

Cactus rumors could be legit, since he appears to have at least gotten Contra and Snatcher, but that could just be luck. Also I think Ive seen him post stuff before, not sure though. Everything else sounds like complete bs.
Click to expand...

We need to assemble previous posts for analysis.
 
K

kenji

Member
Kirby is still for Wii, it can't be ported to the Cafè when they showed the gameplay just 4 months ago
 
D

Deleted member 21120

Unconfirmed Member
1.5GB of RAM, Super Mario World 3 and a console Pokemon with a focus on online.

You're better than this, GAF. :p
 
F

ferr

Member
Can we get some sort of system where we change the level of dubiousness in the title every so often.
 
godhandiscen

godhandiscen

There are millions of whiny 5-year olds on Earth, and I AM THEIR KING.
Chiggs said:
Steam.
Click to expand...
They have not hired Steam to build a network for them. People are setting themselves up for massive dissappointment.

Cocopjojo said:
1.5GB of RAM, Super Mario World 3 and a console Pokemon with a focus on online.

You're better than this, GAF. :p
Click to expand...
Seriously.
 
M

Medalion

Banned
Keep your expectations lower than the underground depths of even Hell itself... and you won't be...too...dissapointed that NONE of that list remotely gets fulfilled
 
Chiggs

Chiggs

Member
Cocopjojo said:
1.5GB of RAM, Super Mario World 3 and a console Pokemon with a focus on online.

You're better than this, GAF. :p
Click to expand...

Did you miss the part about the touch screen that simulates physical textures?

godhandiscen said:
They have not hired Steam to build a network for them. People are setting themselves up for massive dissappointment.


Seriously.
Click to expand...

Valve and Nintendo are both located in Washington.

Super Mario World 3 is preloading now.
 
F

ferr

Member
Medalion said:
Keep your expectations lower than the underground depths of even Hell itself... and you won't be...too...dissapointed that NONE of that list remotely gets fulfilled
Click to expand...
Cafe's not even real, just an internet rumor.
 
G

GCX

Member
kenji said:
Kirby is still for Wii, it can't be ported to the Cafè when they showed the gameplay just 4 months ago
Click to expand...
Especially since Nintendo Japan has promised to release one 1st party game for Wii each month. They'll run out of games if they start porting all of them to Cafe.
 
C

Cartman86

Banned
So what wireless standard supports streaming to a separate device with no lag? Will the controller run the "game" in real time or is it just small little programs (menus etc.) and not full "Current" games? The wifi on remote play for PSP and PS3 is not good enough.
 
T

ThoseDeafMutes

Member
Wolves Evolve said:
I love lists of rumours with no negative parts.

The main games they will show will be Mii-based. Get used to it.
Click to expand...

Why would they show primarily Mii based games on the system that is supposed to be recapturing the hardcore market? You're not on planet fuck anymore, son.
 
godhandiscen

godhandiscen

There are millions of whiny 5-year olds on Earth, and I AM THEIR KING.
Chiggs said:
Did you miss the part about the touch screen that simulates physical textures?



Valve and Nintendo are both located in Washington.

Super Mario World 3 is preloading now.
Click to expand...
Dammit Chiggs, you killing me. LOL
 
C

civilstrife

Member
Cartman86 said:
So what wireless standard supports streaming to a separate device with no lag? Will the controller run the "game" in real time or is it just small little programs (menus etc.) and not full "Current" games? The wifi on remote play for PSP and PS3 is not good enough.
Click to expand...
Here's my prediction:

It doesn't stream at all. It'll be running off its own innards.

The controller hardware won't be very powerful of course. Probably DS level hardware.
 
G

GCX

Member
Tron 2.0 said:
WAT?!
Click to expand...
In the last investor's meeting Iwata promised that Nintendo will publish at least one game per month for Wii during the next 6 months to fuel up sales.
 
L

Lonely1

Unconfirmed Member
Cartman86 said:
So what wireless standard supports streaming to a separate device with no lag? Will the controller run the "game" in real time or is it just small little programs (menus etc.) and not full "Current" games? The wifi on remote play for PSP and PS3 is not good enough.
Click to expand...
Well, the PSP is only Wifi B-G. But yes, I have yet to see a good video on air implementation.
 
M

Medalion

Banned
ThoseDeafMutes said:
Why would they show primarily Mii based games on the system that is supposed to be recapturing the hardcore market? You're not on planet fuck anymore, son.
Click to expand...
Because they are not forgetting their casual roots that boosted their Wii last time, that would be stupid
 
I

Instro

Member
Cartman86 said:
So what wireless standard supports streaming to a separate device with no lag? Will the controller run the "game" in real time or is it just small little programs (menus etc.) and not full "Current" games? The wifi on remote play for PSP and PS3 is not good enough.
Click to expand...

Wireless n has high enough transfer rates doesnt it?
 
Q

qq more

Member
lol rumors

I'll keep my expectations low and hope there's at least a few good things announced this E3. I don't know if it'll top last year's E3 (which was fucking awesome), but kind of doubtful, that E3 was just too good to be top so soon.
 
C

Coen

Member
Expectations shot through the roof! I'm setting myself up for a major disappointment. I'd be especially funny if none of these agreed upon parts of the rumors turned out to be true.
 
W

Wolves Evolve

Member
ThoseDeafMutes said:
Why would they show primarily Mii based games on the system that is supposed to be recapturing the hardcore market? You're not on planet fuck anymore, son.
Click to expand...

I gotcha, but 'recapturing the hardcore' hasn't appeared ANYWHERE official or out of a Nintendo person's mouth. Its all rumours and speculation on that front.
 
G

gofreak

GAF's Bob Woodward
The Cactus rumours really don't sound all that outrageous at all. What makes me slightly dubious is that he doesn't talk at all about how the screen is used in games or whatever. Surely a digest reel would highlight that stuff to a certain extent, but he offers no examples.
 
T

ThoseDeafMutes

Member
Medalion said:
Because they are not forgetting their casual roots that boosted their Wii last time, that would be stupid
Click to expand...

So what? Even with the casual focused Wii they show off more non-casual games at the conferences than casual ones. Last year Skyward Sword took center stage. If this is the console that is targeting the hardcore, they're not going to show mostly casual games. They're going to show one or two casual games, and mostly hardcore stuff.
 
P

PigSpeakers

Member
New console's name is actually Currant.

Nintendo's E3 Conference:
-Miyamoto comes up on stage and presents a bowl full of currant berries.
-Audience is baffled.


Microsoft and Sony manage to find a knock-off bowl of berries several years after the run-off success of Currant. "Hardcore" gamers upset.
 
D

Dabanton

Member
Oh man tuesday can't come soon enough.

This is either going to be a fantastic event.

Or so rage inducing after months of rumours and mega hype that it takes down half the gaming forums for a coupe of days.
 
onken

onken

Member
CoffeeJanitor said:
Knowing Nintendo, that stuff seems weird. Also, it seems like their teams (EAD specifically) would be stretched thin if those Mario rumors are true.

Seems like a more realistic fan wish list.

That's just weird
Click to expand...

Yeah that's what I'm thinking. Would be awesome to have a new Super Mario World as a launch title though.
 
D

Deleted member 74300

Unconfirmed Member
556.png


Thank you Cactus prophet. I can see the future.

At least I hope so...Smash 4!
 
T

Triton55

Member
Another Cactus rumor said that this guy is in "Super Smash Bros. Paradise"
tqxYp.jpg

Will post screencap if I come across it.
 
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