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Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy

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J

jaxword

Member
You know, I've been reading this thread.

And I've been thinking.

There's a ton of Japanese dating sim games. Generally aimed at the average Japanese guy in HS, earning "points" on how to pick up girls. All related to Japanese culture, of course.

There aren't a lot of American-nerd aimed games.

So they'd be useless as..."teaching aids" here.

This is a video game forum.

I am pondering...perhaps there is a vacuum here.

I wonder if one of those Japanese sims could be adapted for the American nerd? The stereotypical confidence-less "nice guy"? Let's not pretend that most of the guys here play video games as much as possible--thus would influence their perceptions, whether they realize it or not.

Hmm. I think there's pontential here. But I can't make such a game alone...
 
D

Danj

Member
jaxword said:
You know, I've been reading this thread.

And I've been thinking.

There's a ton of Japanese dating sim games. Generally aimed at the average Japanese guy in HS, earning "points" on how to pick up girls. All related to Japanese culture, of course.

There aren't a lot of American-nerd aimed games.

So they'd be useless as..."teaching aids" here.

This is a video game forum.

I am pondering...perhaps there is a vacuum here.

I wonder if one of those Japanese sims could be adapted for the American nerd? The stereotypical confidence-less "nice guy"? Let's not pretend that most of the guys here play video games as much as possible--thus would influence their perceptions, whether they realize it or not.

Hmm. I think there's pontential here. But I can't make such a game alone...
Click to expand...

The problem there is that Japanese dating "sims" are nothing of the sort. They bear little to no resemblance to reality (even the ones that are just slice of life stories with no magical catgirls or scifi aliens or whatever). I remember there being some Western flash-game which seemed a bit more realistic, no idea what it was called though.
 
J

jaxword

Member
Danj said:
The problem there is that Japanese dating "sims" are nothing of the sort. They bear little to no resemblance to reality (even the ones that are just slice of life stories with no magical catgirls or scifi aliens or whatever). I remember there being some Western flash-game which seemed a bit more realistic, no idea what it was called though.
Click to expand...

Well, of course, they're just games, they can't capture the nuances and details of body language and eye contact and facial expressions of real life.

Buuuuuuut it's a start.

Humans are creatures of patterns. We're video game nerds here.

I honestly think this has potential to help a lot of guys on this forum, even if by getting them used to positive/negative responses to comments.

One thing I notice is that awkward "nice" guys do not know how to flirt--it's either gushingly awkward praise of how hot they are, or it's attempts to be smartass/smooth which come across as forced.
 
S

shanshan310

Member
Danj said:
The problem there is that Japanese dating "sims" are nothing of the sort. They bear little to no resemblance to reality (even the ones that are just slice of life stories with no magical catgirls or scifi aliens or whatever). I remember there being some Western flash-game which seemed a bit more realistic, no idea what it was called though.
Click to expand...

Pretty much. I remember playing one and trying to "win" by putting in the answers I'd want to hear. friendzoned every time (Maybe the game knows I'm female).


Got me thinking though. There's a lot of people with programming/game creation knowledge. It probably wouldn't be too much work to make a dating sim aid similar to this with a combined effort, if that's what you were implying Jaxword. It'd be fun to do as well! I have no coding knowledge or drawing skills, but I can always help with the dialogue.
 
C

clip

Member
Hey guys,

I've been dating a girl for a just over a month now, we're exclusive, boyfriend/girlfriend, it's solid.

I currently live alone. She currently has 2 roommates, 1 male, 1 female. Her female roommate got a new job and is moving out very soon. The roommate that is replacing her is another male, so she'll have 2 male roommates. Clearly this concerns me.

We've spoken about it, she says that I have nothing to worry about, but of course I still do and I've expressed it to her.

Any thoughts or advice on how to proceed from here?
 
D

decaf

Member
clip said:
Hey guys,

I've been dating a girl for a just over a month now, we're exclusive, boyfriend/girlfriend, it's solid.

I currently live alone. She currently has 2 roommates, 1 male, 1 female. Her female roommate got a new job and is moving out very soon. The roommate that is replacing her is another male, so she'll have 2 male roommates. Clearly this concerns me.

We've spoken about it, she says that I have nothing to worry about, but of course I still do and I've expressed it to her.

Any thoughts or advice on how to proceed from here?
Click to expand...
Jealousy is a cancer, cut that shit out.
 
K

kinoki

Illness is the doctor to whom we pay most heed; to kindness, to knowledge, we make promise only; pain we obey.
clip said:
Hey guys,

I've been dating a girl for a just over a month now, we're exclusive, boyfriend/girlfriend, it's solid.

I currently live alone. She currently has 2 roommates, 1 male, 1 female. Her female roommate got a new job and is moving out very soon. The roommate that is replacing her is another male, so she'll have 2 male roommates. Clearly this concerns me.

We've spoken about it, she says that I have nothing to worry about, but of course I still do and I've expressed it to her.

Any thoughts or advice on how to proceed from here?
Click to expand...

Either ask her to move in or trust her (to have hot threesomes everytime you have trouble sleeping). Seriously, just get over it and trust her.
 
S

Sarye

Member
Been reading the last few pages and it's a little bit of a downer.

I think people should realize that we were all in the same boat once. It's not like your lack of self confidence is unique to you and we wouldn't understand your situation. A lot of us here are giving tough love because that's exactly what we needed in order to realize our mistakes..

When I was in high school, I lacked a lot of self confidence. I was the "nice guy" and could never get a GF. It wasn't until after college where I started to make a change and improve myself. I dressed better, worked out, and actually took care of myself. I always try to find one or two things to improve, and I didn't do it for the ladies. I did it for myself. Mind you, all these self improvements didn't happen over night. It took years. But because of my desire to be better, it shows outwardly. It doesn't even have to be appearance. Your goals can be sports related, or music, or hobbies... anything.

Everyone who is telling you that you need to change your attitude is right. It's not magic. People can see self confidence. Making an inner change will affect your outward appearance. Yes, that is easier said then done. For me, actually improving on myself changed my inner self. Working out does wonders.. so does just buying nice, well fitted clothes and personal grooming. People do take notice whether you realize it or not.

I'm not a good looking dude by any stretch. I'm pretty average. But just because I dress well I've been told otherwise. Also when I do get into relationships, I have a lot to offer them because of my mindset of constant self improvement.
 
H

HarryHengst

Member
clip said:
Hey guys,

I've been dating a girl for a just over a month now, we're exclusive, boyfriend/girlfriend, it's solid.

I currently live alone. She currently has 2 roommates, 1 male, 1 female. Her female roommate got a new job and is moving out very soon. The roommate that is replacing her is another male, so she'll have 2 male roommates. Clearly this concerns me.

We've spoken about it, she says that I have nothing to worry about, but of course I still do and I've expressed it to her.

Any thoughts or advice on how to proceed from here?
Click to expand...

Either you trust her and its fine, or you dont trust her and you might as well break it up now.
 
I

Izick

Member
Sarye said:
Been reading the last few pages and it's a little bit of a downer.

I think people should realize that we were all in the same boat once. It's not like your lack of self confidence is unique to you and we wouldn't understand your situation. A lot of us here are giving tough love because that's exactly what we needed in order to realize our mistakes..

When I was in high school, I lacked a lot of self confidence. I was the "nice guy" and could never get a GF. It wasn't until after college where I started to make a change and improve myself. I dressed better, worked out, and actually took care of myself. I always try to find one or two things to improve, and I didn't do it for the ladies. I did it for myself. Mind you, all these self improvements didn't happen over night. It took years. But because of my desire to be better, it shows outwardly. It doesn't even have to be appearance. Your goals can be sports related, or music, or hobbies... anything.

Everyone who is telling you that you need to change your attitude is right. It's not magic. People can see self confidence. Making an inner change will affect your outward appearance. Yes, that is easier said then done. For me, actually improving on myself changed my inner self. Working out does wonders.. so does just buying nice, well fitted clothes and personal grooming. People do take notice whether you realize it or not.

I'm not a good looking dude by any stretch. I'm pretty average. But just because I dress well I've been told otherwise. Also when I do get into relationships, I have a lot to offer them because of my mindset of constant self improvement.
Click to expand...

That's the thing though. I like that mindset, and I've integrated that mindset into my life.

I decided back in high-school that I didn't like being skinny, I never was picked on or anything, not to toot my own horn but I was always quite popular with in school, but I just didn't like the idea of being skinny, so I decided to start working out then, and continue that to this day. I was never great at school, not bad, but an average student, so I applied myself and made the Dean's List in college. It's probably not the greatest thing in the world, but I was still pretty proud of that.

You see, it just sucks when someone has that attitude already, but they're not seeing any real results in terms of relationships. Something just doesn't click I guess.
 
H

HarryHengst

Member
Anyone with confidence issues should listen to this 3 times a day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0N-c8MIFvaI

It owns. Rocky knows what he is talking about.


I agree with Sarye that , if you can afford it, everyone should buy more expensive, well fitting clothes. It owns also. I spend way too much on a single dress shirt, but it makes all the difference to have a shirt fit correctly and be of high quality materials. I know not everyone can or is willing to spend that much on a single piece of clothing, but if you are lucky enough to be able to, do it.
 
I

Izick

Member
HarryHengst said:
Anyone with confidence issues should listen to this 3 times a day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0N-c8MIFvaI

It owns. Rocky knows what he is talking about.


I agree with Sarye that , if you can afford it, everyone should buy more expensive, well fitting clothes. It owns also. I spend way too much on a single dress shirt, but it makes all the difference to have a shirt fit correctly and be of high quality materials. I know not everyone can or is willing to spend that much on a single piece of clothing, but if you are lucky enough to be able to, do it.
Click to expand...

Great movie. Rocky I is always the most inspiring for me though, then IV behind it. Amazing set of movies.
 
S

Sarye

Member
Izick said:
That's the thing though. I like that mindset, and I've integrated that mindset into my life.
Click to expand...
Awesome!
Izick said:
You see, it just sucks when someone has that attitude already, but they're not seeing any real results in terms of relationships. Something just doesn't click I guess.
Click to expand...
Maybe I missed it what what kind of issues are you having? How do you treat women in general? Are you elevating them up or do you treat them as who they are.. people.

I don't want to give the wrong impression. I get shot down a lot too. But I wasn't really looking for a relationship either.... Like, I wasn't in any rush. I was happy being single and took advantage of that until I met my current GF.
 
CAW

CAW

Member
Need some advice, GAF.

About four months ago I started talking with this girl. I had her on my FB from when she was friends with my brother and one day I commented on one of her wall statuses or whatever, which led to use chatting online for awhile. Nothing really took off from there but then I noticed one day that she had her cell number posted because she just got a new phone. I had also just got a new phone so I added her and we started texting and talking and we hit it off pretty good.

After a couple weeks of chatting and talking (quite a bit) we decided to plan a night and go out together but that was cut short. Just around the time we had started talking and texting was around the time she had broken up with an ex and was trying to get over him but he had contacted her a couple days before we were suppose to go out and that made her realize it wasn't the right time to be moving forward. She was totally honest about it and felt really bad that about "leading me on", and that was fine, I definitely understood.

So we still chatted as friends but then I kinda stopped. I needed time to kind of change my mindset because I was really beginning to like her. A couple months pass and we chatted randomly but very lightly. Just things like "hey how are you", etc.

So a couple months go by and I guess she tried to patch things up with the ex but it's just not going to work. She had said before that she had to give it one more try because she loved him and all that. But now apparently she's told him he's just not offering what she wants and she's moving on. They haven't spoken in weeks apparently, either. I guess I should also point out that they technically didn't 'date'. He didn't want a seriously relationship but I guess she figured if she played by his rules maybe he'd change his mind but I guess in the end he didn't and she finally had the courage to tell him she wanted something more and he then said tough luck.

She starts to text me more, and fills me in on the situation and whatever (this is where warning bells are kind of going off, but I believe things could be different this time and I'd really like to give it a shot and see what happens). We hit it off...again, and things are moving forward pretty good. We begin to hangout and then eventually she spends the night and we have sex.

I asked her if she wanted to get into a relationship, knowing that it was probably too soon but I wanted to know exactly what we were doing, and she said she liked me a lot (the reason for the sex), but she's just not ready for a relationship yet because she's still getting over her ex and the way she feels about him.

So OK, I guess I'm OK with this (or have I just been used?). But the real downside for me is that now I feel more attached to her. Like, I want to spend time with her, move forward but am I now suppose to put on the brakes? I don't want to seem overly eager and constantly texting her because I'm now feeling like I'm the only one feeling this way (although it's only been a couple days since she slept over so maybe I'm jumping the gun).

Anyway, that's where I'm at with this girl and I'm trying to chat with her and it seems like she's just not into it as much as I am, which sucks (unless it's too early to tell, I think I need to just be patient and see where it goes). But then again I'm not every good at the dating game and I don't know how to play it very well so I guess I'm looking for advice. I'm not a player, I wasn't really out looking for a relationship, even though it's clear that i'd like to be in one and I really like this girl. How should I play it from here?

Should I give it time, like not talk with her for a few days? Maybe she'll miss me. Perhaps I'm looking into this more than I should. Like I said, I'm not very good at the dating game.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
 
V

Vermillion

Banned
I'd personally say slow down, just based off of last time. She hasn't done anything yet for me to say move on, but you're getting ahead of yourself. She isn't ready for a relationship yet. Your options are to wait or explore other options. Don't try to enter a relationship unless both parties are ready.
 
H

Hylian7

Member
So I texted the girl I'm seeing and asked if she was up for doing something on Thursday. She said it depended on what since she had 2 tests the next day. I told her I was initially thinking dinner and a movie, but we can turn that into lunch and a movie since the former might trample her study plans. She suggests we have a movie night at one of our places instead that night.

Everything went better than expected.
 
V

Vermillion

Banned
Hylian7 said:
So I texted the girl I'm seeing and asked if she was up for doing something on Thursday. She said it depended on what since she had 2 tests the next day. I told her I was initially thinking dinner and a movie, but we can turn that into lunch and a movie since the former might trample her study plans. She suggests we have a movie night at one of our places instead that night.

Everything went better than expected.
Click to expand...

Great, dude, good to hear!
 
CAW

CAW

Member
JokerOfSpades said:
I'd personally say slow down, just based off of last time. She hasn't done anything yet for me to say move on, but you're getting ahead of yourself. She isn't ready for a relationship yet. Your options are to wait or explore other options. Don't try to enter a relationship unless both parties are ready.
Click to expand...

Do you think I should still invite her out for, dinner and a movie or to come over and chill and watch some netflix or something? Or should I just wait for her to want to do something? I mean, I figured sleeping over and having sex was moving forward but I don't feel like that's really the case. I guess I'm just confused.

I'd honestly like to just ask her what she'd like to do in terms of 'us'. You know, seek out an honest answer this way I'm not sitting around waiting or guessing. Is that probably a bad thing? Maybe I'm just super impatient (which I think I am). Or, is what I'm doing maybe pushing for a relationship? I mean I get that she doesn't want to being in a relationship, but what does that mean? Do we still hangout, do we still have sex?? I'm lost (i really suck at this lol).
 
T

The Anti-Monitor

Banned
CAW said:
Do you think I should still invite her out for, dinner and a movie or to come over and chill and watch some netflix or something? Or should I just wait for her to want to do something? I mean, I figured sleeping over and having sex was moving forward but I don't feel like that's really the case. I guess I'm just confused.

I'd honestly like to just ask her what she'd like to do in terms of 'us'. You know, seek out an honest answer this way I'm not sitting around waiting or guessing. Is that probably a bad thing? Maybe I'm just super impatient (which I think I am). Or, is what I'm doing maybe pushing for a relationship? I mean I get that she doesn't want to being in a relationship, but what does that mean? Do we still hangout, do we still have sex?? I'm lost (i really suck at this lol).
Click to expand...

Has she told you if she's interested in doing anything as friends, or she just wants time?
 
L

luckyboyceo

Member
JokerOfSpades said:
I mean, you can let her know that she's making a huge mistake, and you can even try to find out why, but the harder you are on her is the worse any sort of future connection would be. Imagine you were in her position - what are you looking for in her response? Also, the harder you are on her is the less she'll regret it... unless she imagines she's made you a worse person. Be as calm as you can when you talk.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I guess that's true. I guess I'll mostly be looking for answers, but I'll be as understanding as I can be during the conversation.

The whole thing really has left me speechless since it was so abrupt, I've been struggling to figure out what I'm going to say.

brian said:
It's certainly the mature way to handle it, and probably gives you the best chance of getting back with her, if that is your intention. On the other hand, odds are probably against you right now, and you're forced you to remain emotionally invested until she makes up her mind. And even if she does decide she wants to be with you, are you going to be second guessing the relationship moving forward? It's a toss up what you should do now, but I think you've handled the situation as well as you could to this point.
Click to expand...
Those are definitely my intentions, but I'm realistic and know that it's not something I can plan on. I kind of feel like the approach I take during our conversation will dictate whether or not a reconciliation is possible in the future, which is why I've been stressing about which approach to take.

If she does decide that we should stay together then yes, I'd be willing to work through things with her. The truth is, this is the first issue we've ever come across during our relationship which is why I'm willing to be patient and give her some space. I'm mostly just confused right now, which sucks because I've invested more into this girl emotionally than I ever have in the past so it's really taking its toll on me.

NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Let the caged bird freeeeeee

If she's not a hundred percent invested in your relationship, maybe you should just let her go. If she has second thoughts now, but comes back to you, how do you know she won't have them in the future? Maybe you two should just amicably split?
Click to expand...
To be perfectly honest, I'm just not ready to. This is truthfully the first girl I've ever really felt like it was alright to be vulnerable with emotionally, so I know if we do split (and unfortunately, that's the route that looks most likely at this point), that it's going to mess me up pretty bad for awhile.

Sorry guys, I'm trying not to let this situation get the best of me but I'm afraid it already has. I've been a wreck this week. I know I need to stay positive but it's been pretty hard to do so. Not trying to be a downer it just helps to voice some of my thoughts.
 
C

Cubsfan23

Banned
CAW said:
Need some advice, GAF.

About four months ago I started talking with this girl. I had her on my FB from when she was friends with my brother and one day I commented on one of her wall statuses or whatever, which led to use chatting online for awhile. Nothing really took off from there but then I noticed one day that she had her cell number posted because she just got a new phone. I had also just got a new phone so I added her and we started texting and talking and we hit it off pretty good.

After a couple weeks of chatting and talking (quite a bit) we decided to plan a night and go out together but that was cut short. Just around the time we had started talking and texting was around the time she had broken up with an ex and was trying to get over him but he had contacted her a couple days before we were suppose to go out and that made her realize it wasn't the right time to be moving forward. She was totally honest about it and felt really bad that about "leading me on", and that was fine, I definitely understood.

So we still chatted as friends but then I kinda stopped. I needed time to kind of change my mindset because I was really beginning to like her. A couple months pass and we chatted randomly but very lightly. Just things like "hey how are you", etc.

So a couple months go by and I guess she tried to patch things up with the ex but it's just not going to work. She had said before that she had to give it one more try because she loved him and all that. But now apparently she's told him he's just not offering what she wants and she's moving on. They haven't spoken in weeks apparently, either. I guess I should also point out that they technically didn't 'date'. He didn't want a seriously relationship but I guess she figured if she played by his rules maybe he'd change his mind but I guess in the end he didn't and she finally had the courage to tell him she wanted something more and he then said tough luck.

She starts to text me more, and fills me in on the situation and whatever (this is where warning bells are kind of going off, but I believe things could be different this time and I'd really like to give it a shot and see what happens). We hit it off...again, and things are moving forward pretty good. We begin to hangout and then eventually she spends the night and we have sex.

I asked her if she wanted to get into a relationship, knowing that it was probably too soon but I wanted to know exactly what we were doing, and she said she liked me a lot (the reason for the sex), but she's just not ready for a relationship yet because she's still getting over her ex and the way she feels about him.

So OK, I guess I'm OK with this (or have I just been used?). But the real downside for me is that now I feel more attached to her. Like, I want to spend time with her, move forward but am I now suppose to put on the brakes? I don't want to seem overly eager and constantly texting her because I'm now feeling like I'm the only one feeling this way (although it's only been a couple days since she slept over so maybe I'm jumping the gun).

Anyway, that's where I'm at with this girl and I'm trying to chat with her and it seems like she's just not into it as much as I am, which sucks (unless it's too early to tell, I think I need to just be patient and see where it goes). But then again I'm not every good at the dating game and I don't know how to play it very well so I guess I'm looking for advice. I'm not a player, I wasn't really out looking for a relationship, even though it's clear that i'd like to be in one and I really like this girl. How should I play it from here?

Should I give it time, like not talk with her for a few days? Maybe she'll miss me. Perhaps I'm looking into this more than I should. Like I said, I'm not very good at the dating game.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Click to expand...


she just wants to hook up
 
F

FelixOrion

Poet Centuriate
Finally got the nerve to ask someone out on a date, went to a movie, had a good time, kissed and then I left town for Easter.

Haven't had a chance to talk to her since but I'm gonna see her tomorrow in class.

I guess we'll just see how it goes.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
FelixOrion said:
Finally got the nerve to ask someone out on a date, went to a movie, had a good time, kissed and then I left town for Easter.

Haven't had a chance to talk to her since but I'm gonna see her tomorrow in class.

I guess we'll just see how it goes.
Click to expand...

65447443.gif
 
A

Atramental

Banned
Danj said:
Posting this in here as well so that people know I don't plan to keep pussying out with lame excuses. Here is the plan so far based on what has been suggested in the fitness thread:

  • I need to change my diet first.
  • I stopped drinking juice already now that I know it's bad for me.
  • I get paid next on April 27th, at that time instead of doing my usual monthly food purchase, I will attempt to do a 1 week food purchase of foods that have been recommended in the fitness thread. If this succeeds I will attempt to continue this in subsequent weeks.
  • Having made said purchases I will attempt to learn to cook them (where cooking is appropriate).
  • Dumbbells have been suggested as an inexpensive exercise tool. I have put a set on my birthday wishlist and will attempt to persuade my parents to buy me them for my birthday which is on May 11th, since I do not have the money for it myself.
Click to expand...
Very good, Danj. This is definitely a step (or rather, steps) in the right direction.
 
D

Danj

Member
shanshan310 said:
Pretty much. I remember playing one and trying to "win" by putting in the answers I'd want to hear. friendzoned every time (Maybe the game knows I'm female).


Got me thinking though. There's a lot of people with programming/game creation knowledge. It probably wouldn't be too much work to make a dating sim aid similar to this with a combined effort, if that's what you were implying Jaxword. It'd be fun to do as well! I have no coding knowledge or drawing skills, but I can always help with the dialogue.
Click to expand...

If you really want to go the Japanese style dating sim route, there's a pre-existing ready-made toolkit for that, called Ren'Py. You don't have to know programming to make stuff with it (though the option is there for more complex games). Unfortunately I don't really have any creative skill of my own, but I have done proofreading/editing for a visual novel before.

EDIT: it also has a Quick Start Guide which shows how incredibly easy it is to get started with.
 
D

Danj

Member
Lone_Prodigy said:
Want a Western dating sim? Play a Bioware game, pick the top option, profit.
Click to expand...

The "dating" in BioWare games is mostly pretty incidental to the actual game, and also probably not particularly realistic either. Though I concede that it's way more likely than what happens in Japanese games.
 
F

FelixOrion

Poet Centuriate
Danj said:
The "dating" in BioWare games is mostly pretty incidental to the actual game, and also probably not particularly realistic either. Though I concede that it's way more likely than what happens in Japanese games.
Click to expand...

Incidental?! That's shit carries over from game to game, bro. Gotta not screw it up.
 
H

Houston3000

Member
CAW said:
Do you think I should still invite her out for, dinner and a movie or to come over and chill and watch some netflix or something? Or should I just wait for her to want to do something? I mean, I figured sleeping over and having sex was moving forward but I don't feel like that's really the case. I guess I'm just confused.

I'd honestly like to just ask her what she'd like to do in terms of 'us'. You know, seek out an honest answer this way I'm not sitting around waiting or guessing. Is that probably a bad thing? Maybe I'm just super impatient (which I think I am). Or, is what I'm doing maybe pushing for a relationship? I mean I get that she doesn't want to being in a relationship, but what does that mean? Do we still hangout, do we still have sex?? I'm lost (i really suck at this lol).
Click to expand...
Sorry if I missed this but were you a virgin before you had sex with her? Was she your first? It seems to me that you're taking this way too seriously. From all accounts it was some very casual rebound sex. If it's your first time I feel sorry for you, I'm not saying it won't work out in the end, but these things don't always pan out the way you'd hope - and it's much harder to get over that 'first' girl than it will be girls in the future.
 
V

Vermillion

Banned
CAW said:
Do you think I should still invite her out for, dinner and a movie or to come over and chill and watch some netflix or something? Or should I just wait for her to want to do something? I mean, I figured sleeping over and having sex was moving forward but I don't feel like that's really the case. I guess I'm just confused.

I'd honestly like to just ask her what she'd like to do in terms of 'us'. You know, seek out an honest answer this way I'm not sitting around waiting or guessing. Is that probably a bad thing? Maybe I'm just super impatient (which I think I am). Or, is what I'm doing maybe pushing for a relationship? I mean I get that she doesn't want to being in a relationship, but what does that mean? Do we still hangout, do we still have sex?? I'm lost (i really suck at this lol).
Click to expand...

I mean, sure you can still be friends or whatever, and if she wants to fuck and you're cool with it, that's okay. But it doesn't seem like she wants anything more right now. I'd suggest the second option - check your other options - but it's entirely possible that she just needs some time and some space. In which case, you wouldn't want to settle into the friends with benefits thing.
 
M

mcrae

Member
So I slept with a prostitute yesterday.

Lol, sat night went out to the bar with some buddies, saw a nice ass, so I grabbed it.. She turns around and gives me a nice hug, and from then on it was ass grabbing and dancing till 2 am. Went back to her place, she passed out, I had whiskey dick.. At least we got out of our clothes lol.

Made up for it in the morning though, twice. She was good, but for someone in her line of work I thought I'd be blown away, but not quite. She charges 150/hour. (It was free, if that's not clear)

She didn't outright say she's a prostitute, but she did make clear she's not a stripper, and after the 2nd time we did it I said fuck it and asked "so.. Are you an escort? Or, a prostitute? Or ?" And she ignored the topic and made small talk, so that's pretty much a yes. I know what she charges cause she mentioned how she paid the bouncer 50$ to skip the line, but "whatever, its only 20 minutes of work."

She's a 21 year old 3rd year nursing student who is a self-admitted borderline alcoholic and smokes all the time, weed and marijuana. This can be nothing but disaster but I'm heading back to her place now. Fun times.
 
Boozeroony

Boozeroony

Member
mcrae said:
So I slept with a prostitute yesterday.

Lol, sat night went out to the bar with some buddies, saw a nice ass, so I grabbed it.. She turns around and gives me a nice hug, and from then on it was ass grabbing and dancing till 2 am. Went back to her place, she passed out, I had whiskey dick.. At least we got out of our clothes lol.

Made up for it in the morning though, twice. She was good, but for someone in her line of work I thought I'd be blown away, but not quite. She charges 150/hour. (It was free, if that's not clear)

She didn't outright say she's a prostitute, but she did make clear she's not a stripper, and after the 2nd time we did it I said fuck it and asked "so.. Are you an escort? Or, a prostitute? Or ?" And she ignored the topic and made small talk, so that's pretty much a yes. I know what she charges cause she mentioned how she paid the bouncer 50$ to skip the line, but "whatever, its only 20 minutes of work."

She's a 21 year old 3rd year nursing student who is a self-admitted borderline alcoholic and smokes all the time, weed and marijuana. This can be nothing but disaster but I'm heading back to her place now. Fun times.
Click to expand...

Don't get emotionally attached.
 
S

Syracuse022

Member
mcrae said:
So I slept with a prostitute yesterday.

Lol, sat night went out to the bar with some buddies, saw a nice ass, so I grabbed it.. She turns around and gives me a nice hug, and from then on it was ass grabbing and dancing till 2 am. Went back to her place, she passed out, I had whiskey dick.. At least we got out of our clothes lol.

Made up for it in the morning though, twice. She was good, but for someone in her line of work I thought I'd be blown away, but not quite. She charges 150/hour. (It was free, if that's not clear)

She didn't outright say she's a prostitute, but she did make clear she's not a stripper, and after the 2nd time we did it I said fuck it and asked "so.. Are you an escort? Or, a prostitute? Or ?" And she ignored the topic and made small talk, so that's pretty much a yes. I know what she charges cause she mentioned how she paid the bouncer 50$ to skip the line, but "whatever, its only 20 minutes of work."

She's a 21 year old 3rd year nursing student who is a self-admitted borderline alcoholic and smokes all the time, weed and marijuana. This can be nothing but disaster but I'm heading back to her place now. Fun times.
Click to expand...
Both, huh? Maybe she's a consultant like N. Bluth, ever think of that? What did she say that made you jump straight to call girl?
 
V

Vermillion

Banned
jaxword said:
You know, I've been reading this thread.

And I've been thinking.

There's a ton of Japanese dating sim games. Generally aimed at the average Japanese guy in HS, earning "points" on how to pick up girls. All related to Japanese culture, of course.

There aren't a lot of American-nerd aimed games.

So they'd be useless as..."teaching aids" here.

This is a video game forum.

I am pondering...perhaps there is a vacuum here.

I wonder if one of those Japanese sims could be adapted for the American nerd? The stereotypical confidence-less "nice guy"? Let's not pretend that most of the guys here play video games as much as possible--thus would influence their perceptions, whether they realize it or not.

Hmm. I think there's pontential here. But I can't make such a game alone...
Click to expand...

But, Japan.

Do we remember what the birth rate and such is like? I feel it'd be entirely counter-productive.
 
M

Mr.City

Member
mcrae said:
So I slept with a prostitute yesterday.

Lol, sat night went out to the bar with some buddies, saw a nice ass, so I grabbed it.. She turns around and gives me a nice hug, and from then on it was ass grabbing and dancing till 2 am. Went back to her place, she passed out, I had whiskey dick.. At least we got out of our clothes lol.

Made up for it in the morning though, twice. She was good, but for someone in her line of work I thought I'd be blown away, but not quite. She charges 150/hour. (It was free, if that's not clear)

She didn't outright say she's a prostitute, but she did make clear she's not a stripper, and after the 2nd time we did it I said fuck it and asked "so.. Are you an escort? Or, a prostitute? Or ?" And she ignored the topic and made small talk, so that's pretty much a yes. I know what she charges cause she mentioned how she paid the bouncer 50$ to skip the line, but "whatever, its only 20 minutes of work."

She's a 21 year old 3rd year nursing student who is a self-admitted borderline alcoholic and smokes all the time, weed and marijuana. This can be nothing but disaster but I'm heading back to her place now. Fun times.
Click to expand...

So, let me get this straight. You just grabbed a woman's ass at a bar, turns out she's could be a prostitute, abuses drugs, and you want to keep seeing her?
 
L

lawlohwhat

Banned
jaxword said:
Hmm. I think there's pontential here. But I can't make such a game alone...
Click to expand...

I'd be suspicious of any teaching tool that tended toward quantifying a goal in regard to social interactions. This includes a lot of PUA material and the games it sounds like you're talking about. It seems really unhealthy to teach people to think of others in terms of how many 'points' they're worth. Having relationships with people shouldn't be like power leveling a wow character.

clip said:
Any thoughts or advice on how to proceed from here?
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Personal anecdote: Guy moved in with one of my exes as a roommate and immediately began hitting on her relentlessly. I got jealous and confronted her about it, we broke up soon after, and they started dating a month later. I could have easily avoided the breakup if I had not gone down that path. I credit insecure actions on my part for ending that relationship.
 
E

Etrian Oddity

Member
mcrae said:
So I slept with a prostitute yesterday.

Lol, sat night went out to the bar with some buddies, saw a nice ass, so I grabbed it.. She turns around and gives me a nice hug, and from then on it was ass grabbing and dancing till 2 am. Went back to her place, she passed out, I had whiskey dick.. At least we got out of our clothes lol.

Made up for it in the morning though, twice. She was good, but for someone in her line of work I thought I'd be blown away, but not quite. She charges 150/hour. (It was free, if that's not clear)

She didn't outright say she's a prostitute, but she did make clear she's not a stripper, and after the 2nd time we did it I said fuck it and asked "so.. Are you an escort? Or, a prostitute? Or ?" And she ignored the topic and made small talk, so that's pretty much a yes. I know what she charges cause she mentioned how she paid the bouncer 50$ to skip the line, but "whatever, its only 20 minutes of work."

She's a 21 year old 3rd year nursing student who is a self-admitted borderline alcoholic and smokes all the time, weed and marijuana. This can be nothing but disaster but I'm heading back to her place now. Fun times.
Click to expand...
STD check, go do it.
 
S

soultron

Banned
mcrae said:
So I slept with a prostitute yesterday.

Lol, sat night went out to the bar with some buddies, saw a nice ass, so I grabbed it.. She turns around and gives me a nice hug, and from then on it was ass grabbing and dancing till 2 am. Went back to her place, she passed out, I had whiskey dick.. At least we got out of our clothes lol.

Made up for it in the morning though, twice. She was good, but for someone in her line of work I thought I'd be blown away, but not quite. She charges 150/hour. (It was free, if that's not clear)

She didn't outright say she's a prostitute, but she did make clear she's not a stripper, and after the 2nd time we did it I said fuck it and asked "so.. Are you an escort? Or, a prostitute? Or ?" And she ignored the topic and made small talk, so that's pretty much a yes. I know what she charges cause she mentioned how she paid the bouncer 50$ to skip the line, but "whatever, its only 20 minutes of work."

She's a 21 year old 3rd year nursing student who is a self-admitted borderline alcoholic and smokes all the time, weed and marijuana. This can be nothing but disaster but I'm heading back to her place now. Fun times.
Click to expand...

Just be careful. Condoms don't protect you from every STD, and they do nothing to protect you from crazy.

Remember that it's not your job to fix her.
 
A

Attackthebase

Member
Hylian7 said:
So I texted the girl I'm seeing and asked if she was up for doing something on Thursday. She said it depended on what since she had 2 tests the next day. I told her I was initially thinking dinner and a movie, but we can turn that into lunch and a movie since the former might trample her study plans. She suggests we have a movie night at one of our places instead that night.

Everything went better than expected.
Click to expand...

I'll get the cake ready.
 
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