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Tence
(11-20-2014, 05:42 PM)
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Originally Posted by leonidas.

So there's this stereotype about Asian women that they're only interested in White Western Men. What do you guys think about this? I personally find it a hasty generalization, while it is true that some women prefer Caucasian men, they don't represent the whole group.

That reminds me of some research they once did on a dating-site, about ethnicity and responses. I have no idea whatsoever if this is accurate though in general.

Noooooo...top of the page :(
jasonng
Member
(11-20-2014, 05:44 PM)
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Originally Posted by Kikirin

Subscribed.

ABV here, entire life pretty much spent in the Midwest so far. Unfortunately, my career / hobbies / mannerisms do little to dispel the Asian stereotype.

Don't fight genetics, bro. Just be happy being the fun violin playing mathematical genius doctor that you are.
Cewyn
Member
(11-20-2014, 05:52 PM)
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Originally Posted by backslashbunny

ahahaha I DO THIS TOO. But that's because young people seem to tip like assholes, and Asians in general don't tip very much.



I've heard that Japan is like that about foreigners.

To be fair, I once had someone ask me if I speak English in the US.



I'VE HEARD OF IT.



5% of the population is Asian, and since Asian women generally aren't seen as undesirable the way Asian men are, it makes sense that an Asian women might date a "white guy," given that there's probably 20 more of them for every 1 Asian male.

Aside from that, whenever I hear that stereotype, I roll my eyes internally and make a mental checkmark on whoever said that-- NOPE.

Funny you should ask-- my dad and my mom just left for Dallas a couple hours ago. My dad is definitely moving. I don't think my mom is, though.

Could you elaborate more on that? What makes people see Asian Men less desirable in comparison to Asian women? I have read blogs of Asian American LGBT activists pointing out to a certain degree of racism in the queer community, but I'm curious as to where you're coming from.

Originally Posted by Tence

That reminds me of some research they once did on a dating-site, about ethnicity and responses. I have no idea whatsoever if this is accurate though in general.



Noooooo...top of the page :(

Yeah that's a very interesting study. It makes me think about a bunch of things. I would want to ask the surveyors a bunch of questions. Do you have the link to this study?
Last edited by Cewyn; 11-20-2014 at 06:03 PM.
suzu
Member
(11-20-2014, 05:52 PM)
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My non-Asian friends used to try and set me up with other East Asians based solely on the fact that we were both Asians. That really annoyed for a long time, but I don't have any particular preferences now.
Zoe
(11-20-2014, 05:53 PM)
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Originally Posted by backslashbunny

I've heard that Japan is like that about foreigners.

I definitely made a sad face when I was the one person in our group of four (including a burst-into-flames-in-the-sun white girl) to get singled out for an "international" menu :(

I also got the "talking about you right in front of you" thing on the way to a wedding reception. I wasn't surprised though, it didn't occur to me until it was too late that my dress was quite revealing by Japanese standards.
CapNBritain
Member
(11-20-2014, 06:16 PM)
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Originally Posted by ActStriker

We all should get together and get some tasty food.

And then fight for the check.

I only seem to hang around poor and/or Americanized Asians, so this rarely happens. But one time my stepmom barged behind the counter to snatch my credit card out of the waitress' hand. I was buying boba for the family, so like $40 max. Was ridiculous.

Originally Posted by jasonng

Apparently Asian women only have two choices when it comes to dating: Asian guys or white guys.

It's a weird stereotype that might be true in a small number of cases, but generally just ends up occurring due to numbers. And many Asian girls only date guys of their ethnicity. One ex would only date Taiwanese guys. She also had a "must be older" clause, but gave that up once the pickings became slim. Personally I think that this is a bigger problem than the Asian girls only date white guys thing, which isn't true most of the time.

There's also the perception that Asian men aren't desirable. In the past, I just kind of assumed non-Asian girls weren't interested in me. When white girls hit one me I was either oblivious or confused.
backslashbunny
Member
(11-20-2014, 06:45 PM)
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Originally Posted by Kikirin

Subscribed.

ABV here, entire life pretty much spent in the Midwest so far. Unfortunately, my career / hobbies / mannerisms do little to dispel the Asian stereotype.

It's okay. Sometimes I feel this way about being a girl (I love makeup, shopping, sparkly things, squealing, and says "totes").. but then I remind myself there's nothing inferior about liking those things, just like there's nothing inferior about any of the things that make up the Asian stereotype.

Originally Posted by leonidas.

Could you elaborate more on that? What makes people see Asian Men less desirable in comparison to Asian women? I have read blogs of Asian American LGBT activists pointing out to a certain degree of racism in the queer community, but I'm curious as to where you're coming from.

Hollywood emasculates Asian men and uses them as points of comedy.

Also, the Hollywood archetype for hot male = tall and buff. Asian people tend to be on the smaller and slimmer side.. which is okay for women (minus all the "I like boobs on my women"), but not okay for male.

Originally Posted by jasonng

Don't fight genetics, bro. Just be happy being the fun violin playing mathematical genius doctor that you are.

Is it weird I would find that person 10000x more attractive on paper than a cornfed football jock? lol :p

Originally Posted by CapNBritain

I only seem to hang around poor and/or Americanized Asians, so this rarely happens. But one time my stepmom barged behind the counter to snatch my credit card out of the waitress' hand. I was buying boba for the family, so like $40 max. Was ridiculous.

It's a weird stereotype that might be true in a small number of cases, but generally just ends up occurring due to numbers. And many Asian girls only date guys of their ethnicity. One ex would only date Taiwanese guys. She also had a "must be older" clause, but gave that up once the pickings became slim. Personally I think that this is a bigger problem than the Asian girls only date white guys thing, which isn't true most of the time.

There's also the perception that Asian men aren't desirable. In the past, I just kind of assumed non-Asian girls weren't interested in me. When white girls hit one me I was either oblivious or confused.

Shit, maybe we dated each other.

On paying- the older always pays for the younger, so I have to really fight some of my friends that are only one or two years older than me for the bill. They love using that argument against me, but TBH it's more of a generation thing. I would never fight an older generation (parents-age) if they tried, and usually you don't fight if they are an older gen.. but you're supposed to fight if it's the same gen? & it's assumed you pay for the younger gen. Again, just my understanding of how this works culturally.

Also, TBH, I prefer dating Asian men that speak Mandarin, and my preference has always been men that speak Chinese with the Taiwanese accent. I also prefer my age or older. I also only want kinky partners. For me, that last requirement has made pickings slim... I've never had a problem finding Chinese-speaking boyfriends. The first three are to satisfy my parents, and the last two are for me.

I hesitate to say I "only" date Asians that are older than me, because I'm sure I'd date any interesting guy that piqued my interest (and I have dated nonChinese, and nonAsian men), but I've never really had a problem finding my preferred type, so I never needed to consider other ethnicities/backgrounds, if that makes sense.

Something about a guy that speaks Mandarin with a Taiwanese accent is just comforting to me. Makes me feel secure.

(Not to mention, I think Asian features are the most attractive, objectively speaking.)
y2dvd
Member
(11-20-2014, 06:52 PM)
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My viet gf's mom wants her to get into the healthcare industry to find a doctor to marry. We're only two months in so she haven't told her mom that we're dating. Her mom is going to be severely disappointed if she ever meets me lol. D:
Brakke
(11-20-2014, 06:53 PM)
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lmao Serial this week features like three instances of "Asian women all look the same". Goddamnit.
CapNBritain
Member
(11-20-2014, 07:01 PM)
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Originally Posted by backslashbunny

It's okay. Sometimes I feel this way about being a girl (I love makeup, shopping, sparkly things, squealing, and says "totes").. but then I remind myself there's nothing inferior about liking those things, just like there's nothing inferior about any of the things that make up the Asian stereotype.

Hollywood emasculates Asian men and uses them as points of comedy.

Also, the Hollywood archetype for hot male = tall and buff. Asian people tend to be on the smaller and slimmer side.. which is okay for women (minus all the "I like boobs on my women"), but not okay for male.

Is it weird I would find that person 10000x more attractive on paper than a cornfed football jock? lol :p

I suppose this is it. I also think that growing up, most of the guys girls were into were mostly non-Asian or part-Asian. Most of the full Asians has that bowl-cut thick glasses nerd thing going on, me included. It was only after getting into shape and learning about grooming myself that I broke that mold (and saw other Asian men doing the same), but I think I'll always be a chubby, nerdy Asian kid at heart.

Originally Posted by backslashbunny

Shit, maybe we dated each other.

Unless you're married with kids or a terrible, terrible person, we have not dated each other.

Originally Posted by backslashbunny

On paying- the older always pays for the younger, so I have to really fight some of my friends that are only one or two years older than me for the bill. They love using that argument against me, but TBH it's more of a generation thing. I would never fight an older generation (parents-age) if they tried, and usually you don't fight if they are an older gen.. but you're supposed to fight if it's the same gen? & it's assumed you pay for the younger gen. Again, just my understanding of how this works culturally.

I had no idea that the elders paid for the youngers. So many things make sense now.

Originally Posted by backslashbunny

Also, TBH, I prefer dating Asian men that speak Mandarin, and my preference has always been men that speak Chinese with the Taiwanese accent. I also prefer my age or older. I also only want kinky partners. For me, that last requirement has made pickings slim... I've never had a problem finding Chinese-speaking boyfriends. The first three are to satisfy my parents, and the last two are for me.

I hesitate to say I "only" date Asians that are older than me, because I'm sure I'd date any interesting guy that piqued my interest (and I have dated nonChinese, and nonAsian men), but I've never really had a problem finding my preferred type, so I never needed to consider other ethnicities/backgrounds, if that makes sense.

Something about a guy that speaks Mandarin with a Taiwanese accent is just comforting to me. Makes me feel secure.

(Not to mention, I think Asian features are the most attractive, objectively speaking.)

I've had non-Taiwanese Mandarin speakers say that I sound fake or like a robot when I attempt Mandarin. I say that they only think that because I'm not slurring my words and adding -la to the end of everything. I think of Taiwanese Mandarin as the British of Mandarin.

Also WTH on it being hard to find kinky men. Are you only dating very religious guys (who I would think have deep-seated kins ready to explode)? Is anti-kink another facet of my culture that I'm unaware of?
backslashbunny
Member
(11-20-2014, 07:19 PM)
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Originally Posted by CapNBritain

Unless you're married with kids or a terrible, terrible person, we have not dated each other.

I had no idea that the elders paid for the youngers. So many things make sense now.

I've had non-Taiwanese Mandarin speakers say that I sound fake or like a robot when I attempt Mandarin. I say that they only think that because I'm not slurring my words and adding -la to the end of everything. I think of Taiwanese Mandarin as the British of Mandarin.

Also WTH on it being hard to find kinky men. Are you only dating very religious guys (who I would think have deep-seated kins ready to explode)? Is anti-kink another facet of my culture that I'm unaware of?

I'm a terrible person.

Since I grew up around primarily Taiwanese-Mandarin speaking Asians, to me, that accent just sounds like home and safety. I do think it's "prettier" than mainland Mandarin, the same way I think Japanese sounds the "prettiest" of most languages.

& no, it just seems a lot of Asians are fairly traditional, and sex, while not a taboo in the MUST BE A VIRGIN WAY, is just not discussed. I'm on Fetlife, and there are NO ASIANS on that site in my area... despite the fact that the OC is like 30% Asian, at least. This is just the general fairly conservative Asian mindset. Sexuality is not a big thing-- if you look at the stuff on TV over there now, it doesn't really ooze sexuality the way Hollywood does.

Anecdotally-- my partner, Taiwanese-American (raised in TX in an area that was predominantly white at first), didn't really know about BDSM until he was 26 (when he met me and I told him about it). He's kinky, too, and I think honestly has always been.. but he was just unaware of it. I feel like I lucked out though... got a smart, Mandarin speaking w/Taiwanese accent, older, kinky WoW tank working in the STEM field. Hit every single turn-on for me :p.

Originally Posted by Brakke

lmao Serial this week features like three instances of "Asian women all look the same". Goddamnit.

Originally Posted by y2dvd

My viet gf's mom wants her to get into the healthcare industry to find a doctor to marry. We're only two months in so she haven't told her mom that we're dating. Her mom is going to be severely disappointed if she ever meets me lol. D:

Story time. The first boyfriend I ever had was Vietnamese, and the first time I met his mother.. LITERALLY THE FIRST THING SHE SAID TO ME (we were in high school):

1. So, where are you going for college? [I was a sophomore].
followed by
2. What are you going to study?
followed by
3. Why pharmacy? Why not medical school?

She didn't say hi. Didn't ask me anything. Later I found out she told her friends, in front of my bf, that while she thought the girl they picked out for him (doctor, another Vietnamese girl) was prettier, her son seemed to prefer me.

:x
CapNBritain
Member
(11-20-2014, 07:27 PM)
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Originally Posted by backslashbunny

I'm a terrible person.

Since I grew up around primarily Taiwanese-Mandarin speaking Asians, to me, that accent just sounds like home and safety. I do think it's "prettier" than mainland Mandarin, the same way I think Japanese sounds the "prettiest" of most languages.

& no, it just seems a lot of Asians are fairly traditional, and sex, while not a taboo in the MUST BE A VIRGIN WAY, is just not discussed. I'm on Fetlife, and there are NO ASIANS on that site in my area... despite the fact that the OC is like 30% Asian, at least. This is just the general fairly conservative Asian mindset. Sexuality is not a big thing-- if you look at the stuff on TV over there now, it doesn't really ooze sexuality the way Hollywood does.

Anecdotally-- my partner, Taiwanese-American (raised in TX in an area that was predominantly white at first), didn't really know about BDSM until he was 26 (when he met me and I told him about it). He's kinky, too, and I think honestly has always been.. but he was just unaware of it. I feel like I lucked out though... got a smart, Mandarin speaking w/Taiwanese accent, older, kinky WoW tank working in the STEM field. Hit every single turn-on for me :p.

I assumed that any guy growing up in America would be exposed to enough sex at least be curious about kink. But thinking about it, it's not like my parents ever gave me the talk or anything. Closest was my mom offering to buy me condoms when she found out I had a girlfriend. Though that's probably not a typical Asian mother response.

Originally Posted by backslashbunny

Story time. The first boyfriend I ever had was Vietnamese, and the first time I met his mother.. LITERALLY THE FIRST THING SHE SAID TO ME (we were in high school):

1. So, where are you going for college? [I was a sophomore].
followed by
2. What are you going to study?
followed by
3. Why pharmacy? Why not medical school?

She didn't say hi. Didn't ask me anything. Later I found out she told her friends, in front of my bf, that while she thought the girl they picked out for him (doctor, another Vietnamese girl) was prettier, her son seemed to prefer me.

:x

I know that it probably stung at the time, but that sounds hilarious.
small44
Member
(11-20-2014, 07:29 PM)
I like asian people
Mr. Wedgewood
Member
(11-20-2014, 07:58 PM)
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So what are your guys opinion on filipinos being considered Pacific Islander rather than Asian? Personally when I think Pacific Islander I think more on the lines of Samoan, Tongan, Hawaiian, chuukese, etc.
Cewyn
Member
(11-20-2014, 07:58 PM)
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Originally Posted by backslashbunny

It's okay. Sometimes I feel this way about being a girl (I love makeup, shopping, sparkly things, squealing, and says "totes").. but then I remind myself there's nothing inferior about liking those things, just like there's nothing inferior about any of the things that make up the Asian stereotype.



Hollywood emasculates Asian men and uses them as points of comedy.

Also, the Hollywood archetype for hot male = tall and buff. Asian people tend to be on the smaller and slimmer side.. which is okay for women (minus all the "I like boobs on my women"), but not okay for male.



Is it weird I would find that person 10000x more attractive on paper than a cornfed football jock? lol :p



Shit, maybe we dated each other.

On paying- the older always pays for the younger, so I have to really fight some of my friends that are only one or two years older than me for the bill. They love using that argument against me, but TBH it's more of a generation thing. I would never fight an older generation (parents-age) if they tried, and usually you don't fight if they are an older gen.. but you're supposed to fight if it's the same gen? & it's assumed you pay for the younger gen. Again, just my understanding of how this works culturally.

Also, TBH, I prefer dating Asian men that speak Mandarin, and my preference has always been men that speak Chinese with the Taiwanese accent. I also prefer my age or older. I also only want kinky partners. For me, that last requirement has made pickings slim... I've never had a problem finding Chinese-speaking boyfriends. The first three are to satisfy my parents, and the last two are for me.

I hesitate to say I "only" date Asians that are older than me, because I'm sure I'd date any interesting guy that piqued my interest (and I have dated nonChinese, and nonAsian men), but I've never really had a problem finding my preferred type, so I never needed to consider other ethnicities/backgrounds, if that makes sense.

Something about a guy that speaks Mandarin with a Taiwanese accent is just comforting to me. Makes me feel secure.

(Not to mention, I think Asian features are the most attractive, objectively speaking.)

Yeah that's definitely interesting. Those are mostly male gender stereotypes "tall and buff." In addition, most women want their men to be taller than them.
small44
Member
(11-20-2014, 07:59 PM)

Originally Posted by Mr. Wedgewood

So what are your guys opinion on filipinos being considered Pacific Islander rather than Asian? Personally when I think Pacific Islander I think more on the lines of Samoan, Tongan, Hawaiian, chuukese, etc.

There are from Asia so they are asian
simplayer
Member
(11-20-2014, 07:59 PM)

Originally Posted by backslashbunny

Also, TBH, I prefer dating Asian men that speak Mandarin, and my preference has always been men that speak Chinese with the Taiwanese accent. I also prefer my age or older. I also only want kinky partners. For me, that last requirement has made pickings slim... I've never had a problem finding Chinese-speaking boyfriends. The first three are to satisfy my parents, and the last two are for me.

Not asian, but the bolded seems really weird to me. Does it really matter what your parents think? Especially getting down to the detail of what sort of accent the guy has?
XiaNaphryz
LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
(11-20-2014, 08:05 PM)
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Originally Posted by leonidas.

So there's this stereotype about Asian women that they're only interested in White Western Men. What do you guys think about this? I personally find it a hasty generalization, while it is true that some women prefer Caucasian men, they don't represent the whole group.

Pretty big generalization, at least here in California. Growing up here (from junior high to high school to university and beyond), most asians I knew primarily dated other asians and you see plenty of that just walking around as well. There's a lot of cross-culture dating too (Filipino/Chinese/Japanese/Korean/Vietnamese/etc). My wife is also Filipino, but one of her sisters married a Korean guy and the other sister married a Chinese guy.

The large asian population we have here may be a factor in that.
claviertekky
Member
(11-20-2014, 08:20 PM)
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What did your families tell you about dating and sex while growing up?

Mine told me nothing. In fact, we avoided the subject all together.

Just focus on school, and everything will be OK as I know now that isn't true.

Same thing with friends. Focus on school, and everything will be OK.

There's a reason why some of us on here a lot because our social lives suck.

Now I have zero close friends and no dating experience (i.e. even kiss-less).

I don't know if I should blame my parents or myself. What are your experiences?
Last edited by claviertekky; 11-20-2014 at 08:27 PM.
Esch
Once got into a vicious fistfight with a coat hanger
(11-20-2014, 08:26 PM)
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Originally Posted by claviertekky

What did your families tell you about dating and sex while growing up?.

Little, but I was given a lot of freedom in that regard but it was made clear that my life was forfeit if I got a girl pregnant lol. Mostly figured it out myself.
backslashbunny
Member
(11-20-2014, 08:27 PM)
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Originally Posted by Mr. Wedgewood

So what are your guys opinion on filipinos being considered Pacific Islander rather than Asian? Personally when I think Pacific Islander I think more on the lines of Samoan, Tongan, Hawaiian, chuukese, etc.

My parents consider them to be Pacific Islander… I think it's because people from the Philippines look more "European" (thanks to Spanish blood?). Sort of how the indigenous natives of Mexico look a lot more like Asians than Europeans, but thanks to the Spanish invaders, Mexicans now look much more European.

I don't know. If you're flipino… imo, you can decide which one you would prefer to identify with.

Originally Posted by simplayer

Not asian, but the bolded seems really weird to me. Does it really matter what your parents think? Especially getting down to the detail of what sort of accent the guy has?

Yeah, I would say what my parents think make up 40% of my dating preferences.

The accent is more about how my parents like Chinese people from Taiwan, not Chinese people from China (something something cultural differences). The accent for me is more about the actual sound of it.

Originally Posted by claviertekky

What did your families tell you about dating and sex while growing up?

Mine told me nothing. In fact, we avoided the subject all together.

Just focus on school, and everything will be OK as I know now that isn't true.

Same thing with friends. Focus on school, and everything will be OK.

There's a reason why some of us on here a lot because our social lives suck.

Now I have zero close friends and no dating experience (i.e. even kiss-less).

I don't know where bad parenting comes in, but is this supposed to be normal?


Same here :D.

Luckily I had the INTERNET.

Also, hey, despite my extremely overprotective, super conservative, super religious Asian parents… my social life is fine :(. I'm a little awkward, and sometimes a bit.. uh… holier-than-art, and I do attribute that to how my parents viewed everyone else (you know, that we were superior or whatever, both ethnically [blahblah Taiwanese are the best] and morally [blah blah Christians are the best]), but it's something I'm really getting over and trying to correct myself when I feel like I'm doing that.

But, I've had a lot of boyfriends, lots of experiences. I even joined a Panhellenic sorority in college.

Still think life is what you make of it, though stereotypes and not having the foundation can make it a little tough to start.

*edit: Don't think it's a healthy outlook in life to look for something to blame, though. Just my 2cents.

Originally Posted by Esch

Little, but I was given a lot of freedom in that regard but it was made clear that my life was forfeit if I got a girl pregnant lol. Mostly figured it out myself.

Ahahaha. "Hmm, I have a pointy thing, and girls have a hole. EUREKA."
Last edited by backslashbunny; 11-20-2014 at 08:31 PM.
Valkerionseven
Member
(11-20-2014, 08:37 PM)
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Originally Posted by backslashbunny

1. So, where are you going for college? [I was a sophomore].
followed by
2. What are you going to study?
followed by
3. Why pharmacy? Why not medical school?

My mom pulled that nonsense with the first girl I ever brought over... geeze adding the "what race is she" in the most awkward attempt to be polite ever, before she got here. Pretty sure they think I'm gay now since I refuse to bring anyone over at this point.

Either way, as someone who is mixed with a ton of crap I don't really have a preference per se but I have noticed that pretty much all the women I dated happened to be Filipino just out of coincidence. Guess they are the only women attracted to me... at least blatant enough to straight up ask me out first which I like. It may sound weird but I sometimes wish I had the parental pressure to date a specific type of person who fits this list of criteria cause I honestly don't know what the fuck I'm doing haha.

And on the Asian ladies preferring white guys... its definitely not true, but easy to see where it comes from a lot of the time just visually looking around (depending where you live) and some of the stories we hear from friends or worse encounter in person as a third party.

Where I live theres more Asian Female & White Male pairings than other races outside Asian, simply as others said, numbers. There is already a very small Asian population here, and more White+Black couples are common when talking about mixed race. Have seen several Asian male Black female couples here... especially the one from high school. Chubby Asian guy, glasses, loved Naruto head band and all daily... smokin hot cheerleader gf for years. Must have been doing something right haha, a bunch of people hated on that couple but they were super cute in my eyes.

Also a previous ex's mother was completely on the "you need a white guy" train with her daughter, simply because she wanted a blonde baby in the family... When she told her mom that my hair grows with a mix of blonde naturally she proceeded to ask if "is there any sex techniques to make sure our baby would turn out all blonde, kinda like how you need to go deep to get a boy..." Now that was weird rofl. Her mom was kinda nuts but stories of how some parents almost, and I hate saying this, almost worship the ground white people walk on, I see randomly. Once again, not everyone is like that and seems like most of their kids have 0% thoughts like that thankfully.
Cewyn
Member
(11-20-2014, 08:39 PM)
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Originally Posted by backslashbunny

My parents consider them to be Pacific Islander… I think it's because people from the Philippines look more "European" (thanks to Spanish blood?). Sort of how the indigenous natives of Mexico look a lot more like Asians than Europeans, but thanks to the Spanish invaders, Mexicans now look much more European.

I don't know. If you're flipino… imo, you can decide which one you would prefer to identify with.



Yeah, I would say what my parents think make up 40% of my dating preferences.

The accent is more about how my parents like Chinese people from Taiwan, not Chinese people from China (something something cultural differences). The accent for me is more about the actual sound of it.




Same here :D.

Luckily I had the INTERNET.

Also, hey, despite my extremely overprotective, super conservative, super religious Asian parents… my social life is fine :(. I'm a little awkward, and sometimes a bit.. uh… holier-than-art, and I do attribute that to how my parents viewed everyone else (you know, that we were superior or whatever, both ethnically [blahblah Taiwanese are the best] and morally [blah blah Christians are the best]), but it's something I'm really getting over and trying to correct myself when I feel like I'm doing that.

But, I've had a lot of boyfriends, lots of experiences. I even joined a Panhellenic sorority in college.

Still think life is what you make of it, though stereotypes and not having the foundation can make it a little tough to start.

*edit: Don't think it's a healthy outlook in life to look for something to blame, though. Just my 2cents.



Ahahaha. "Hmm, I have a pointy thing, and girls have a hole. EUREKA."

I'm Hispanic but I can understand the sentiment. What your parents think is very important, at least to a certain degree. I'm actually Mexican and I wouldn't say indigenous native Mexicans look Asiatic. The closest could be aboriginals and Filipinos. But it depends, there were many tribes in ancient Mexico that were very different to one another including physical characteristics. The Philippines is an unique position because of the Spanish colonization. A lot of Filipinos have Spanish names and some of them have Spanish ancestry in them. European Mexicans look European. But many are mixed.
simplayer
Member
(11-20-2014, 08:40 PM)

Originally Posted by backslashbunny

Yeah, I would say what my parents think make up 40% of my dating preferences.

Why is that?
backslashbunny
Member
(11-20-2014, 08:45 PM)
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^- Oh yeah, the "what race are you." I actually got asked that as well by her, same meeting. "So, you're Chinese?"

.____. All of my awkward 15 year old pimply self in her kitchen just feeling pressured as hell.

TBH I wasn't confused about it… my whole life, I've always gotten the impression that dating an Asian meant you were never going to be good enough for his/her family. It's kinda funny, because I think in Asian families, there's this feeling of never being good enough for your parents… BUT THE MOMENT YOU GET A PARTNER, you suddenly become a divine god/goddess, and no one is good enough for you.

I actually met a really nice Asian guy once, and I was seriously hesitate to date him because I was afraid of what his parents would think of me. My older cousin, grew up the same street as me, had serious drama with her in-laws because they didn't think she was good enough for him, and didn't think our family was good enough. They met in undergrad and both went to the same medical school. They actually delayed marriage for about three years because both our families were angry at each other (my family was insulted they didn't think she/we were good enough, and their family didn't think our family was good enough).

?___? Crazy cultural crap.

Originally Posted by leonidas.

I'm Hispanic but I can understand the sentiment. What your parents think is very important, at least to a certain degree. I'm actually Mexican and I wouldn't say indigenous native Mexicans look Asiatic. The closest could be aboriginals and Filipinos. But it depends, there were many tribes in ancient Mexico that were very different to one another including physical characteristics. The Philippines is an unique position because of the Spanish colonization. A lot of Filipinos have Spanish names and some of them have Spanish ancestry in them. European Mexicans look European. But many are mixed.


TBH I'm not that good with faces and I do feel like a lot of the aboriginals in the Americas generally look like Asians (which wouldn't be too shocking, the Berling Strait or whatever it was called and all that). Though, I don't know too much about ancient tribes, so I'll let you be the authority.

Originally Posted by simplayer

Why is that?

Filial piety? I care a lot what my parents think about me, more than I care what anyone else thinks. They're my parents.
Last edited by backslashbunny; 11-20-2014 at 08:47 PM.
claviertekky
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(11-20-2014, 08:45 PM)
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Originally Posted by Valkerionseven

guys... its definitely not true, but easy to see where it comes from a lot of the time just visually looking around (depending where you live) and some of the stories we hear from friends or worse encounter in person as a third party.

I find that people who believe in that crap are a little crazy themselves.

I had a classmate that told me to marry white. Why?

"So you can have beautiful children! That's what I'm doing!"

so the whole basis of your relationship for dating preferences is to have what you think will be "beautiful children" because of race superiority?

wtf

I felt like I was getting trolled, but no, there are people who genuinely believe this notion.
TopDreg
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(11-20-2014, 08:47 PM)
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A thread for people kinda like me!

Hi all. My name's Aaron. I'm half-Chinese, quarter-British, quarter-Czech, currently residing in Oregon. I graduated with a triple-major in physics, math, and comp sci. Currently studying the LSAT for IP law while awaiting word on if I'll be going on a Peace Corps mission in June to teach math and science.

So, I guess I mostly fulfill the stereotype of one-half of myself?
Last edited by TopDreg; 11-20-2014 at 08:49 PM.
backslashbunny
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(11-20-2014, 08:50 PM)
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Originally Posted by claviertekky

I find that people who believe in that crap are a little crazy themselves.

I had a classmate that told me to marry white. Why?

"So you can have beautiful children! That's what I'm doing!"

so the whole basis of your relationship for dating preferences is to have what you think will be "beautiful children" because of race superiority?

wtf

I felt like I was getting trolled, but no, there are people who genuinely believe this notion.

To be fair, my Asian friends and I have all joked that at one point or another (high school, stupid 16 year olds)-- mostly joking, though a few of my friends still say it at this age (26) and I'm like o.O… not sure if serious...

Happas ARE incredibly beautiful, though. Maybe it's selective bias, but honestly every single happa I've ever met is gorgeous… like objectively just really, really good-looking. They all seem to be super smart, too :x.

Originally Posted by TopDreg

A thread for people kinda like me!

Hi all. My name's Aaron. I'm half-Chinese, quarter-British, quarter-Czech, currently residing in Oregon. I graduated with a triple-major in physics, math, and comp sci. Currently studying the LSAT for IP law while awaiting word on if I'll be going on a Peace Corps mission in June to teach math and science.

So, I guess I mostly fulfill the stereotype of one-half of myself?

/AAstylechant HELLO AARON.

Wow @ your triple major, and if you go join the Peace Corp, good luck! I did AmeriCorp myself in college :).
TopDreg
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(11-20-2014, 08:59 PM)
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Originally Posted by backslashbunny

To be fair, my Asian friends and I have all joked that at one point or another (high school, stupid 16 year olds)-- mostly joking, though a few of my friends still say it at this age (26) and I'm like o.O… not sure if serious...

Happas ARE incredibly beautiful, though. Maybe it's selective bias, but honestly every single happa I've ever met is gorgeous… like objectively just really, really good-looking. They all seem to be super smart, too :x.



/AAstylechant HELLO AARON.

Wow @ your triple major, and if you go join the Peace Corp, good luck! I did AmeriCorp myself in college :).

Half-Asian pride!

You did AmeriCorp IN college?? Mind if I ask what you did? That's awesome! I'm nominated for Ghana, and supposedly the Peace Corps has a need for math and science teachers, so fingers crossed. My mom, who immigrated from Taishan, is dreading the whole thing, but... so is the AA-life.
claviertekky
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(11-20-2014, 09:25 PM)
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Originally Posted by backslashbunny

To be fair, my Asian friends and I have all joked that at one point or another (high school, stupid 16 year olds)-- mostly joking, though a few of my friends still say it at this age (26) and I'm like o.O… not sure if serious...

Happas ARE incredibly beautiful, though. Maybe it's selective bias, but honestly every single happa I've ever met is gorgeous… like objectively just really, really good-looking. They all seem to be super smart, too :x.

Haha.

Yes and no. Not all, but in the end, that's not what matters in a relationship.

Originally Posted by backslashbunny

Same here :D.

Luckily I had the INTERNET.

Also, hey, despite my extremely overprotective, super conservative, super religious Asian parents… my social life is fine :(. I'm a little awkward, and sometimes a bit.. uh… holier-than-art, and I do attribute that to how my parents viewed everyone else (you know, that we were superior or whatever, both ethnically [blahblah Taiwanese are the best] and morally [blah blah Christians are the best]), but it's something I'm really getting over and trying to correct myself when I feel like I'm doing that.

But, I've had a lot of boyfriends, lots of experiences. I even joined a Panhellenic sorority in college.

Still think life is what you make of it, though stereotypes and not having the foundation can make it a little tough to start.

*edit: Don't think it's a healthy outlook in life to look for something to blame, though. Just my 2cents.

My social life is not.

I feel like my time here on GAF I can only have relationships to joke about things or alert things everyone should know. However, to actually get close to me, I can't do that here. Not everything online can substitute real-life social interaction.

As for blaming, most kids grown up in that kind of environment tend to have low EQ, so you're right. It's not healthy, but I'm still a bit bitter.
Last edited by claviertekky; 11-20-2014 at 09:48 PM.
Valkerionseven
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(11-20-2014, 09:30 PM)
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Originally Posted by backslashbunny


Happas ARE incredibly beautiful, though. Maybe it's selective bias, but honestly every single happa I've ever met is gorgeous… like objectively just really, really good-looking. They all seem to be super smart, too :x.

We are clearly superior genetically, literally, also jokingly haha.
claviertekky
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(11-20-2014, 09:34 PM)
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Originally Posted by Valkerionseven

We are clearly superior genetically.

I agree.

The more genes mixed, the healthier the next generation regardless of race. Future should be mixes of many races.

I wonder what's our equivalent of mudblood here as there are some families out there who are against the mixed races thing due to money + language compatibility. Yeah we live in a screwed up world.
Last edited by claviertekky; 11-20-2014 at 09:50 PM.
Cewyn
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(11-20-2014, 09:40 PM)
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Didn't a lot of European royal families have all kinds of health issues because they didn't have a lot of genetic variation? I recall reading/hearing this.
YesNOnoNOYes
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(11-20-2014, 09:43 PM)
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About the education thing, I felt that I actually benefitted in some regards. I came over to Australia when I was pretty young, but having that Asian mentality that is heavily oriented on education propelled me forwards in terms of school years. I skipped effectively 1.5 year and still was doing VERY well. I ended up with state-recognised awards and stuff from the Department of Education. It was kinda embarassing when I told my friends back home cuz I was not one of the top performers back home.

:x

Anyway, that propelled me further and I got into a good university early and it also gave me a shoe-in to a great MBA program.

But yes, my parents and Asian friends had an obsessive focus with academic achievement. It was pretty strange, looking back. But it didn't feel strange back then.

I think I lucked out cuz my first bf was white and he was one of those types that was all about challenging norms and critical thinking and live-and-live-now, etc.

He really opened my eyes with regards to sexuality and identity and stuff.
XiaNaphryz
LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
(11-20-2014, 09:46 PM)
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Originally Posted by Mr. Wedgewood

So what are your guys opinion on filipinos being considered Pacific Islander rather than Asian? Personally when I think Pacific Islander I think more on the lines of Samoan, Tongan, Hawaiian, chuukese, etc.

Filipinos are generally considered asian here in California. I remember going through the confusion growing up in elementary school when filling out forms, but it's a lot more clear now with Filipino being listed in the Asian section.
claviertekky
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(11-20-2014, 09:49 PM)
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Originally Posted by XiaNaphryz

Filipinos are generally considered asian here in California. I remember going through the confusion growing up in elementary school when filling out forms, but it's a lot more clear now with Filipino being listed in the Asian section.

Where is the Filipino community in California?

I have a classmate who lives in Cali now after living in the midwest, and he claims he can't find them.
XiaNaphryz
LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
(11-20-2014, 09:53 PM)
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Originally Posted by backslashbunny

My parents consider them to be Pacific Islander… I think it's because people from the Philippines look more "European" (thanks to Spanish blood?).

While this is part of it, Filipinos still have enough Southeast Asian influence that they really should still be considered Asian. Vietnamese, Malay, etc. aren't generally considered Pacific Islander.
Septimus Prime
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(11-20-2014, 09:53 PM)
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Originally Posted by Mr. Wedgewood

So what are your guys opinion on filipinos being considered Pacific Islander rather than Asian? Personally when I think Pacific Islander I think more on the lines of Samoan, Tongan, Hawaiian, chuukese, etc.

From what I noticed when I visited the Philippines (my wife is Chinese-Filipino), there is a very clear-cut distinction there between Chinese-Filipinos and ethnic Filipinos that's not just ethnic but also seems to be a class divide. Personally, I just consider them all Asian, since the Philippines are in Asia (and the Pacific Islands are not in and of themselves considered a continent), but I think over there the two consider each other completely different.

Here's a question for all the Filipinos, though: how do you feel about Claire Danes? My wife won't watch Homeland because she's in it. Evidently, she talked a lot of shit about the Philippines and its people a while back.

Originally Posted by claviertekky

Where is the Filipino community in California?

I have a classmate who lives in Cali now after living in the midwest, and he claims he can't find them.

Cerritos has a lot of Filipinos.
Last edited by Septimus Prime; 11-20-2014 at 09:56 PM.
Valkerionseven
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(11-20-2014, 09:57 PM)
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Originally Posted by leonidas.

Didn't a lot of European royal families have all kinds of health issues because they didn't have a lot of genetic variation? I recall reading/hearing this.

Yeah, royal families in Europe had a lot of inter-family marriages and children, even when marrying between countries people were commonly first cousins and what not. When the gene pool is that close genetic deficiencies appear more often not to mention a laundry list of other things. Similar to pure breed animals. More recent times allowed them to marry almost whoever they want. But once again, 9 times out of 10 they were from "noble" or affluent families meaning once again, gene pool is still similar due to old money being more common than new.

With humans genetic mixing leads to more resistance against certain health issues and diseases. Like how African decent is susceptible to sickle cell, but other races are not. Chances of a person mixed with African decent and say white or in this threads case, Asian, is slim to none. Some even suggest that we/they are down right immune to giving birth to it.
XiaNaphryz
LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
(11-20-2014, 09:59 PM)
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Originally Posted by claviertekky

Where is the Filipino community in California?

I have a classmate who lives in Cali now after living in the midwest, and he claims he can't find them.

Plenty in the SF Bay Area and down in SoCal. Certain cities and neighborhoods will have heavier populations than others like Daly City, and you'll also find a lot near the major military bases. Growing up near a naval base, my public schools were easily at least 20% Filipino.

There's also a lot of Filipino cultural clubs at the major universities.
Mr. Wedgewood
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(11-20-2014, 10:05 PM)
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Originally Posted by claviertekky

Where is the Filipino community in California?

I have a classmate who lives in Cali now after living in the midwest, and he claims he can't find them.

When I used to live in San Diego, National City had a sizable filipino community.

Originally Posted by Septimus Prime

From what I noticed when I visited the Philippines (my wife is Chinese-Filipino), there is a very clear-cut distinction there between Chinese-Filipinos and ethnic Filipinos that's not just ethnic but also seems to be a class divide. Personally, I just consider them all Asian, since the Philippines are in Asia (and the Pacific Islands are not in and of themselves considered a continent), but I think over there the two consider each other completely different.

Similar experience with my family. My mom is Ilocano/Spanish and my Dad is Tagalog/Chinese. My fathers side looked down on Ilocanos (low class), field workers, etc.

Personally I identify myself as just American. Not Asian or Filipino-American. Im kinda far gone from my ethnic culture, dont understand the language nor have any genuine interest in Philippines. I do love to eat blood stew (dinuguan) though.

One thing I find interesting is hair style and how one perceives you. Im a male with long hair, middle of my back. 1st gen Asian women hate my hair, think I should get a "traditional" short haircut. But I noticed the more "Americanized" they are, the more accepting they are of it.

Other comments I get sometimes is they think Im native American because of my hair, or hawaiian for some reason.
Last edited by Mr. Wedgewood; 11-20-2014 at 10:21 PM.
RM8
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(11-20-2014, 10:13 PM)
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Can I join the fun club? My family is Mexican / Japanese :] I can bring (real) tacos and you don't even have to tip me since it's not obligatory here in Mehicko!
y2dvd
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(11-20-2014, 10:16 PM)
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Originally Posted by small44

I like asian people

My cat's name is Mittens.
Cybit
FGC Waterboy
(11-20-2014, 10:20 PM)
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Originally Posted by Rm88~

Can I join the fun club? My family is Mexican / Japanese :] I can bring (real) tacos and you don't even have to tip me since it's not obligatory here in Mehicko!

Tacos?

You're in!
XiaNaphryz
LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
(11-20-2014, 10:29 PM)
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Originally Posted by Mr. Wedgewood

1st gen Asian women hate my hair, think I should get a "traditional" short haircut.

By 1st gen do you mean first in their family to arrive in the US, or the first generation born here? There's a big difference, I'm guessing you mean the former?
Mr. Wedgewood
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(11-20-2014, 10:35 PM)
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Originally Posted by XiaNaphryz

By 1st gen do you mean first in their family to arrive in the US, or the first generation born here? There's a big difference, I'm guessing you mean the former?

Sorry bout that, meant the former, first to arrive here.

So here's my lunch, kalbi salad.

TopDreg
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(11-20-2014, 10:41 PM)
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Originally Posted by Mr. Wedgewood

Sorry bout that, meant the former, first to arrive here.

So here's my lunch, kalbi salad.

*DROOLING INTENSIFIES*
YesNOnoNOYes
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(11-20-2014, 10:44 PM)
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^

ngl i thought it was a giant alien insect at first glance.

omnomnomnom
Timbuktu
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(11-20-2014, 10:46 PM)
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Originally Posted by y2dvd

My cat's name is Mittens.

I know a Chinese girl named Mitts.
jasonng
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(11-20-2014, 11:00 PM)
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Originally Posted by Timbuktu

I know a Chinese girl named Mitts.

Mittens are comfortable to wear in cold weather.

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