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The Feeling of Being Hated?

O

OfficerRaichu15

Member
Hey Gaf,
Does anyone usually get this feeling?
I’m in high school and have mild anxiety as well as OCDd so I feel it everyday. Every mistake I do makes me break down and think the person involved now hates me. Does anyone here also feel hated at times?
Maybe we can help each other out?
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
Hating someone is a lot of effort. Most people don't put that much thought into it. You're your own worst critic. Even if someone hates you, they're not worth appealing to and as long as you like yourself, their opinion of you doesn't matter as much.
 
R

RadioJoNES64

Banned
I kind of used to. Then I thought about whether or not I ever hated someone for something minor. I don't ever think that anymore.
 
P

PixelatedBookake

Junior Member
There are times I feel this way but to be honest OP, life is too short to be worrying about that kind of stuff. I'm too in my own head as well but thinking about that all the time will really wear you down. As long as you try to be a cool person and nice to others, I wouldn't sweat it.
 
E

Easy_D

never left the stone age
I can sort of relate, though I didn't worry people hated me, just that they'd find me weird or stupid and not want to be friends with me, which is pretty close I suppose.

But yeah any social weirdness from my end made me anxious as heck once I realised it. It was at the point where waiting in line for school lunch made my heart beat like crazy at times, didn't help that I already had issues with heart palpitations due to stress and stuff.

It took years but I grew out of it, I'm 27 now but it's only really in the last 4-5 years of my life that I've grown comfortable in myself and my social skills. So yeah, give it time, try to not give yourself crap over feeling like crap.
 
D

Daingurse

Member
Yes, I do have problems with this. It's pretty much tied into my major depression and anxiety. DBT helped me with processing my own thoughts, so I am at-least able to recognize that my thoughts are irrational, but it's still tough. I have to challenge my own thoughts constantly, or I'll get stuck in a cylical pattern of negative thinking. Shame spirals suck.
 
M

M52B28

Banned
It's OCD, it does it to you and it does it to me. Try and get medication. My OCD developed rapidly in highschool and it has been effecting me ever since. If you wait too long, you're going to pay the price in relationships, life opportunities and just life in general, as I have.

It's so bad that I can't really control some of my thoughts, though I would love to.

Don't let it destroy you.
 
O

OfficerRaichu15

Member
Daingurse said:
Lol. Being a black person with mental illness is a baaad combo. I'm constantly second guessing how people feel about me, and I'm a part of an extremely high risk group in-general.
Click to expand...
I'm sorry dude, honestly with how some people are in this world toward some people of color it makes me heartbroken that y'all have t live with this fear. :(
 
P

PixelatedBookake

Junior Member
Daingurse said:
Lol. Being a black person with mental illness is a baaad combo. I'm constantly second guessing how people feel about me, and I'm a part of an extremely high risk group in-general.
Click to expand...

Stay strong bro. After Trump was elected, I was like that for a month. Lowkey still like that.
 
Y

Yarbskoo

Member
Finky Spunky said:
If OP is looking for a philosophy to live by, and I know it's corny, but that hate can only make you stronger.
Click to expand...

bd1azR4.gif
 
D

Daingurse

Member
F

freethoughtbubble

Member
I used to, definitely. This is good advice, OP:

RadioJoNES64 said:
I kind of used to. Then I thought about whether or not I ever hated someone for something minor. I don't ever think that anymore.
Click to expand...

When you feel the instinct to beat yourself up, try to step outside of yourself, and imagine if someone else did or said what you did would you hate that person? In all but the rarest of cases, the answer is going to be "no, of course not." That "hate" is coming from within, not without.

It's cliche but we really are our worst critics. Most of the time, our behavior doesn't really register to other folks all that much--we're all mostly self-absorbed, after all--and even when it does it's fleeting. Learn to cut yourself a break, OP.

Edit: Also, high school just fucking sucks, OP. It's a pressure cooker and brings out the worst in a lot of people. Life got a lot better for me after I graduated, for what its worth.
 
T

TripleBee

Member
Everything in highschool feels amplified. In the real world nobody works up the energy to hate you, unless your that coworker who eats at their desk and chews with their mouth open.
 
kunonabi

kunonabi

Member
My middle school hated me all the way from special ed to the administration. I just kept my head down and found a few weirdos willing to hang with me in the second year. It was rough but I managed.
 
Sub_Level

Sub_Level

wants to fuck an Asian grill.
Beyond people who have bad experiences in school, I've found the only place people will consistently hate you is on the road driving. You're too fast, you're too slow, you didn't give enough time to signal, why would you turn there, you're not supposed to turn there, why are you trying to reverse out, why did you take my parking spot, e.t.c.
 
M

MugiwaraCole

Member
I'm a black male living in America with depression and anxiety. I'm trying to make it in corporate America, but I refuse to cut off my locs because I'm an idiot or something.

I feel you, but you've gotta remind yourself a lot of this shit is in our heads. Sure, a good deal of it isn't, but which do you think is healthiest to focus our energy on?
 
Strangelove77

Strangelove77

Member
The truth is that nobody cares enough about most of us to hate us.
Chances are if they haven't told you they hate you then they don't. That's all there is to it.
 
S

Silas Lang

Member
As someone who used to live with bad anxiety, I came upon a realization with age: you are not that important. Most people are preoccupied with their own drama.

Live your life. Don't preoccupy youself worrying about if people hate you for some dumb small thing.
 
F

FUME5

Member
If people actually 'hate' you over minor shit, they're psychopaths.

What you need to do is to find a way to improve your sense of self worth, which should reduce the instances of you feeling this way while also giving you the ability to say "fuck em" if they do hate you over petty shit.

Good luck.
 
S

Skar

Member
By the time you're in your 20s this will all seem so insignificant to you. Just focus on your academics. finding yourself, things you like to do and you'll be much better off than anyone who spent the whole 4 years preoccupied with social drama.

You'll meet people with similar interests and attitudes over time. Seriously join a club in school or even out of school and right there you'll automatically have a few people to hang out with. Go to round rooms if your school had them, go to events.

You don't even need to participate, you'll find the kids who do these things are often less into the shit than the kids who are just hanging out, partying, being dicks to each other.

That was my experience. Unless high school has changed drastically in the last 10 years it should hold true.
 
Clockwork5

Clockwork5

Member
I'm the boss of about 40 people so I feel it sometimes. Most of my employees respect me but there are a couple out of the 40 who begrudgingly follow instruction, resist any kind of correction and will find any excuse to argue with me.

The only thing that really bothers me is the thought that they insidiously attempt to undermine me amongst their coworkers but meh... I'm a good boss and the vast majority of my employees know it.

Then there are the days where I feel like I am the most hated person in the building lol.
 
A

Anteater

Member
well there are people who hate you, I mean I hate a lot of people too, what you do is keep being yourself and ignore them
 
L

Lord Thrappleper The 49th

Member
Do you really care about people who hate you? Why give a damn about what they think, are they worth your time?
I hate plenty of people, plenty of people hate me. But it never goes beyond that because the people I hate or hate me never interact with me in my life. And if they have to. I give them a reason to hate me. Fuck em.
 
L

Lmo911

Member
The hate of others gives me life. Every success I have is a middle finger in their faces. Make them burn.

But really, you’re probably over analyzing things. Luckily no one has time for that garbage out of high school.
 
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