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DERF
Junior Member
(09-12-2017, 02:50 AM)
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Good luck and God bless. Hope things work out.
Takuan
Member
(09-12-2017, 02:50 AM)
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That's a pretty nice pad.
RMI
Member
(09-12-2017, 02:56 AM)
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Good luck OP. Cute kid.
Mango Madness
Member
(09-12-2017, 02:59 AM)
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Best of luck to you.

Just remember: show, don't tell. Prove you've changed permanently. You writing posts on NeoGAF about not giving up doesn't mean shit, though it may feel good. Make the necessary environmental changes to facilitate success. You won't like it at first.

One idea, if you don't mind some further lecturing from a complete stranger on the internet. Chances are you're doing most of your job searching and applying online. Rather than doing so in your mother's basement, go to a local library.

I don't know your situation, so maybe I'm way off base with my advice. I'm sure you can pick-and-choose the parts that are actually relevant to you.
nickgia
Member
(09-12-2017, 03:03 AM)
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Stay sober. God bless.
Deuce Deuce
Member
(09-12-2017, 03:03 AM)
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Your self awareness shows you have a good head on your shoulders. Reach out to fam and support programs and take care of your business. It'll be a lot of work, but you seem ready for it. Good luck!
blame space
King of Members with nice chair, nice beard, nice wall hooks, broken TV, clean phone, and a red username.
(09-12-2017, 03:07 AM)
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l nevermind
BeforeU
Banned
(09-12-2017, 03:09 AM)
Proud of you man. Its never too late :)

I myself is going through some tough time right now.
Ultryx
Member
(09-12-2017, 03:12 AM)
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Good luck dude. Those are some demons. Don't be afraid to reach out for help (psychological, medical, etc.)
WX3
Member
(09-12-2017, 03:23 AM)
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I'm a 42 year old father of three who has been an opiate addict for 12 years. I lost my house of 16 years, two good paying jobs, and the respect of my family and peers. Depression was my excuse and I'd run to it whenever I felt the need to justify my actions.

I tried rehab twice and failed the first time. The second effort took place in 2015 and I was placed on suboxone to kill cravings and dope sickness. I stayed on it until January of 2017 where I somehow snapped and was sick and tired of being held back in life by this ball and chain.

I have not touched an opioid or any other drug or alcohol sonce and I feel great today. I still struggle with depression but realize my addiction was not helping me. I also realize the anti depressants I've been on aren't helping either and I've been weaning myself from 300mg of effexor a day down to 100mg that I currently take.

You are not alone my friend. But you alone have to make this decision to stay clean regardless of temptation. Best of luck to you, pm me if you ever want to chat.
Twilight Princess
Member
(09-12-2017, 03:28 AM)
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I don't believe you'll change, op.
mhi
Member
(09-12-2017, 03:38 AM)
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Remember, it all comes down to decisions. Put yourself in the position to make the right one every chance you get, and it will soon become a habit.
Radiant Silvertuna
Junior Member
(09-12-2017, 03:42 AM)
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NervousXtian
Thought Emoji Movie was good. Take that as you will.
(09-12-2017, 03:44 AM)
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Join a support group. Eliminate any friends you had that you got high with.

Stay sober. It can be done.
SmackDaddy
Member
(09-12-2017, 03:46 AM)
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Think about what you put your GF through. Don't let the drugs make you think that horrible, self-centered, careless stuff again. You need to be a better person than that for your daughter.

Good luck mayne! Let the power of GAF flow through you.
Krev
Member
(09-12-2017, 03:46 AM)
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Keep talking to people. The support group is a good suggestion. The more you hide these things the more power they have over you. It's easy to be lost in a spiral of shame. Other people give you the strength to lift yourself out of it.

Keep fighting. Don't give up.
Raw64life
Member
(09-12-2017, 03:47 AM)
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Print out 50 copies of what you wrote in your OP and put it everywhere. Every room of where you live. At your job. Make it your screensaver on your comp and your phone. Read it multiple times every day.
Choomp
Member
(09-12-2017, 03:48 AM)
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I really don't think it's ever too late, and you're probably just in your own head too much. I turned 19 last month and I often feel like I fucked my life up, but once I rationalize for a bit that's totally just an overreaction. You may be doing something similar, just do you
Catphish
Junior Member
(09-12-2017, 03:49 AM)
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You seem to be discovering this on your own, but I'm going to say it anyway:

That little girl needs you.

In this world, a little girl without her daddy is extremely vulnerable. Get your shit together. Your life isn't about you anymore. It's about her. If you need a good cry over that, have it. Then get busy.

The sacrifices you need to make will not be easy, and many of them won't be fun, but what you'll receive in return will make every one of them worth it. I fucking promise you that.

She only gets one childhood. Don't fuck it up.
AlphaDump
Member
(09-12-2017, 03:53 AM)
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It takes a lot of guts to come out and say it. I think that acknowledgement speaks volumes about who you really are. Hope for the best of you.
Widdle Puppy
Member
(09-12-2017, 03:53 AM)
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You should enter a 12 step program

They are free and people find them very helpful
mewmew42
Junior Member
(09-12-2017, 03:57 AM)
The "great" humbling experience of being rock bottom is, after this anything is just up

As long as you acknwowledge where you are, learn and not making the same mistake, let go of your past and just move beyond your current circumstance (no matter how small tiny step) you are winning

I will never be able to absolutely understand how you feel, but at least you have a mom basement to go to, to some rock bottom is being homeless

When iris learn to walk for the first time, she wont give up after her first fall. So by no means you should ever give up

Great to know you want to be a great father to them

Aim for that keep going forward
Alastor3
Member
(09-12-2017, 03:58 AM)
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Originally Posted by 120v

my 2 cents... the most overlooked aspect about addiction recovery (IMO) is who you surround yourself with. this may not apply to your situation but time and time again i see the recurring issue of being unable to cut off "contacts".

i've seen people go from puking and shitting themselves to being moderately to enormously successful, but then fall right back into it simply because they're unable to stay out of certain circles

this

also this video from Kurzgesagt
slick7rick
Member
(09-12-2017, 03:59 AM)
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Originally Posted by Radiant Silvertuna

I've hit rock bottom and my daughter is my light and motivation to do better in this world. To provide not only a better life for myself, but for her.

You're doing great, Sniper McBlaze, keep up the great work! Just find some productive hobbies and don't focus on the negatives in your life. Go running outside to clear your head. Go try new foods, make new friends, and get into new hobbies to start a new chapter in your life. It's all uphill from here :)
FaintColt388301
Member
(09-12-2017, 04:00 AM)
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Originally Posted by Radiant Silvertuna

Was waiting for this post.

I would say good luck but it's not luck you need, it's good judgement and toughness. It all comes back to you and the decisions you make going forward. I don't know you but you sound like you are on a good path. I have faith in you and hope you can look back at this point in the future and be proud of how much better you are doing.
Lebon14
Member
(09-12-2017, 04:00 AM)
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Keep it up, don't give up!

Originally Posted by hateradio

So that explains your tag.

*clicks tag*
LOLOLOL WTF xD
Oneself
Fired from EB Games
thanks to this thread!
(09-12-2017, 04:41 AM)
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Keep it up man, you're on the right track, seek help ASAP, don't be ashamed.

Looking back, with your daughter growing up, you'll be proud you got your shit together and you'll be able to enjoy the best thing life can offer which is IMO being a father. That's all you'll ever need.
Stinkles
Clothed, sober, cooperative
(09-12-2017, 04:42 AM)
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OP got this
JrBaconCheeseburger
Member
(09-12-2017, 04:49 AM)
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OP i got pulled over drunk and was let go with a warning this past weekend and this was my wake-up call.

I am done drinking as that DUI would have fucked me up.
Last edited by JrBaconCheeseburger; 09-12-2017 at 04:59 AM.
FUME5
Member
(09-12-2017, 04:50 AM)
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Originally Posted by Twilight Princess

I don't believe you'll change, op.

With the right motivation, support and personal fortitude, anyone can overcome substance addiction.
Nightwing123
Member
(09-12-2017, 04:53 AM)
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Good luck OP I'll be rooting for you.

Remember to seek help their is nothing shameful about getting help. Having a strong support group is key when confronting problems like these.
FooTemps
Member
(09-12-2017, 04:53 AM)
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Hey man, it's good on you that you're trying to change. Do it while you can still see your kid. One of my best friends lost one of his kids to the courts for being an alcoholic, don't make that same mistake.

You've got a chance to turn it around so make sure you find a good community to help support you.
RecRoulette
Member
(09-12-2017, 04:54 AM)
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Admitting you have a problem is a huge step too many people don't do. Good luck OP.
Mammoth Jones
Member
(09-12-2017, 04:55 AM)
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I wish ya the best.

In the end it comes down to a simple choice:

Your kids or your drugs.

Choose wisely.
marrec
Loves ketchup on hot dogs and Pringles
(09-12-2017, 04:56 AM)
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You got this my dude, hedge your bets tho and get into a program!

Glad you can see that light.
Heavy_D206
Member
(09-12-2017, 04:57 AM)
I've messed with hard drugs but I've never come in contact with Ketamine. I've heard from people who've done it that it's some harsh shit.

Stay strong and kick that habit man, if you want it bad enough you can achieve a clean life.
labx
Member
(09-12-2017, 04:58 AM)
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You are not an asshole OP. You have the courage of calling your demons out and make a change for your daughter. That is OG. You are in the path of becoming a good man for yourself and your love ones, that is admirable.
TheDanger
Member
(09-12-2017, 04:59 AM)
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good luck man, weed habit probably would have treated you better, why did you start out with so heavy shit?
Stinkles
Clothed, sober, cooperative
(09-12-2017, 05:02 AM)
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Originally Posted by Twilight Princess

I don't believe you'll change, op.

People do this all the time and realizations like his are pivotal.



But wtf are you DOING? Just don't fucking post dude. How hard is it?
Gully State
Member
(09-12-2017, 05:02 AM)
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Originally Posted by Sniper McBlaze

Zup GAF. I'm thirty and I live in my mother's basement. To some that might sound like the shit, but I feel better than I have in years because I finally feel like I don't want to die when I'm sober.

I'm also an addict. I've been abusing amphetamines for over two years. What started as a thing I tried at parties quickly became as usual as a cop of coffee in the morning. I lost my job because of it and I also got depressed. I still didn't want to accept that I was an addict so I just continued on, staying up for days. The most fucked up thing is that I hid it from my pregnant girlfriend for as long as I could. I lied and made up excuses to be able to continue my binging without her noticing.

I became a father in April, but I was still doing drugs. In the beginning of June I got thrown out of our apartment for being high. She had had it. She found a needle of Ketamine I had used to inject myself. I blamed her when I had to move out. I was a piece of shit. I'm still one, but I'm trying to change. Because I never want to be a negative force in my daughter's life or ever neglect the other people I love again.

I don't really know why I write this, but I guess it feels better to tell people about my darkest secrets. It feels good to not hide drugs and lie anymore. And if any of you are having a shitty time in your life I in the meantime I can be an example of someone who actually changed to the better.

If you have any stories to share, please do. Or just call me out for the asshole I am, hehe.

Edit: I know this must sound like random ramble, but it's hard to put the last two years in words. Especially since english isn't my native language.

Edit2:

The little one is my little Iris. She is the most important part in my life. My goal is to always put her first. How could I choose drugs our something so innocent?

Drug addiction is one of the hardest thing to conquer...especially after seeing the statistics. The first thing you need to do is to not feel ashamed and go seek professional help. This isn't something you can just quit cold turkey alone. You absolutely need a proper support system to do this successfully. When you finally are ready, go talk to your doctor, he or she will set you up with proper treatment. Also remember that relapsing in the middle of treatment doesn't mean you failed... you just need to make sure you have a plan to get you back on track in case it happens.

Hope it works out for ya.
TheDanger
Member
(09-12-2017, 05:08 AM)
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so you said she kicked you out in July, when is the last time you used?
Measley
Junior Member
(09-12-2017, 05:08 AM)
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After you've hit rock bottom, only place you can go is up.
TheDanger
Member
(09-12-2017, 05:09 AM)
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Originally Posted by Measley

After you've hit rock bottom, only place you can go is up.

you can also die that would be lower than rock bottom I guess
vegohead
Junior Member
(09-12-2017, 05:42 AM)
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This article helped alot with my issues of addiction.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/0...?utm_hp_ref=tw

"The Opposite Of Addiction Is Not Sobriety. The Opposite Of Addiction Is Connection"

Good luck with developing coping skills to deal with withdrawal, support groups helped me, they might be beneficial for you as well.
Sora_N
Member
(09-12-2017, 06:10 AM)
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It's really good that you woke yourself up. You've got a really important thing in your life to consider to keep you focused.

There's tons of support here!
Gnome Scat
Member
(09-12-2017, 06:24 AM)
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Don't let this define who you are, you can always do better if you stay strong. You deserve it to yourself and those around you that love you to do better. I'm rooting for you OP and I wish you the best.
Giganteus
Member
(09-12-2017, 06:45 AM)
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Originally Posted by Twilight Princess

I don't believe you'll change, op.

Based on what? Addiction is possible to beat. I get a much more positive impression from the op willing to admit he has a problem and talk about it than whatever it is you're trying to do here. All of us have problems or shortcomings, big or small; and if you think your post was a good idea to show to someone who's suffering and needs help, you need help too.

What you said is garbage and you should examine it if you have the self-awareness to do so. As a former addict, I really enjoyed proving people like you wrong, and I hope he does, as well.

Good luck, op.
Always-honest
always-end-with-a-swirl
(09-12-2017, 06:57 AM)
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Yeah be there for your daughter. You don't want to miss out on being a father and you don't want her to miss out on a good dad.

Best of luck. Fuck the dope man. It was fun for a while. You don't need it.

Prove the haters wrong. Be a great father!
Last edited by Always-honest; 09-12-2017 at 07:34 AM.
Secret Fawful
(09-12-2017, 07:12 AM)
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Good luck, man. It's going to be a hard road, but you can do it for her.
Broseybrose
Member
(09-12-2017, 08:12 AM)
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Originally Posted by vegohead

This article helped alot with my issues of addiction.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/0...?utm_hp_ref=tw

"The Opposite Of Addiction Is Not Sobriety. The Opposite Of Addiction Is Connection"

Good luck with developing coping skills to deal with withdrawal, support groups helped me, they might be beneficial for you as well.

This is one of the best talks on addiction Ive ever heard, and I think Ive heard them all by now. Its a crucial reform of how we think about addiction and addicts. If only our society would adopt these premises the way Portugal has, many many lives would be saved.

Best of luck to you OP. You CAN do it. But you cant do it alone... Thankfully you have the best reason in the world to wake up in the morning and stay clean and connected.

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