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Just renounced my mother today

K

KraftyKrankins

Member
GAF i dunno. ugh. I'm sick of her. Years of issues. Renounced me herself for being bisexual. Started sedning threating texts to my friends and girlfriends. Years as I said. I'm drunk. I renounced her today. Was saving up money for us moving out for having a better life. She went crazy again. I dunno. Pls don't lock this thread. I'm not suicidal btw. had a great day. it needed to be doen i guess. Ugh. It sucks though. I'll regret this tomorrow.
 
G

Gestault

Member
Unfortunately in the wrong section. I'll ping a mod to have it swapped over.

Making that decision about whether someone central to your life/family is truly caustic enough to need them out of it is basically the hardest choice to make. I have a feeling you'll make the right choice. Even thinking about it seriously helps you get the emotional distance you may need to deal with them, one way or the other. I can't pretend to know your situation, but some people truly are terrible enough that you need to make that split.
 
S

Sarobi

Banned
Mother 4 cancelled

For serious: Do what you got to do, OP. You don't need that negativity in your life.
 
W

whyreggielie

Member
As others said, tomorrow is a new day. Just don't go on facebook since you been drinking and thats my biggest piece of advice for you.
 
H

Hades Hotgun

Banned
That sucks. We are sorta conditioned to expect that our parents will be sources of positive support in our lives and sadly that isn't always the case.

I wish you the best with it.
 
K

KraftyKrankins

Member
Christ. Did I really post this in Gaming. I will regret this tomorrow. Fuck.
Where are you from?
Click to expand...
Eastern Europe, but living in the states. Why?
That's rough, OP. I'm sorry to hear that, hope you find some peace soon :(
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I will, but it's like, it's my mom, man. Fuck. Most of my family's made me ashamed to be a part of them. So much bullshit through the years. Thought I'd be homeless at one point because of her. She said today "Don't text me like this again or you''ll regret it". I deleted all onlien contact with ehr. Fuck it. This wine's storng.
 
T

tr4nce 26

Banned
You should honor your mother and father. I know that at times they don't deserve it or should get that type of treatment but at the end of the day its still the right thing to do and you will be happier that way.

Honor as in treat them with respect despite what they do or say.
 
E

eyeball_kid

Member
Maybe she needs a harsh cutoff in order to realize what's most important. But either way, it sounds like you did what you thought was best for your mental health and happiness.
 
B

boiled goose

good with gravy
tr4nce 26 said:
You should honor your mother and father. I know that at times they don't deserve it or should get that type of treatment but at the end of the day its still the right thing to do and you will be happier that way.
Click to expand...

Honor? Wtf.

Respect and love have to be earned.
 
K

KraftyKrankins

Member
I dunno if i made a mistake though. She's had a lot of issues too. Living back home is this shithole of a countruy. Barely any money. Lot's of issues. It's been too much of bullshit lately though. Did I fuck up gaf? I just didn't wanna anyone pull me down...
 
NeOak

NeOak

Member
tr4nce 26 said:
You should honor your mother and father. I know that at times they don't deserve it or should get that type of treatment but at the end of the day its still the right thing to do and you will be happier that way.
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If they are cunts? No.
 
U

umop_3pisdn

Member
tr4nce 26 said:
You should honor your mother and father. I know that at times they don't deserve it or should get that type of treatment but at the end of the day its still the right thing to do and you will be happier that way.
Click to expand...

Enabling someone in their shitty behaviour isn't honouring them.
 
C

cameron

Member
Sorry to hear, OP. Your mother will regret her behaviour.


tr4nce 26 said:
You should honor your mother and father. I know that at times they don't deserve it or should get that type of treatment but at the end of the day its still the right thing to do and you will be happier that way.
Click to expand...

Case by case.
 
N

Nights Owl

Member
I hear you there OP. While my mother is very accepting of my problems and sexuality she always likes to play the "I have it worse than you" card at every turn, even when I'm at my worst and it really just annoys the piss out of me. Selfishness and unwillingness to accept someone as they are, are unfortunately commonly obtainable traits for many parents I've known. (My own father + mother, and friends/girlfriends parents).

I do hope you the best. Sometimes letting go of family is the best thing you can do. Some might not agree with it, but family aren't worth it if they're making you miserable.

Just do what makes you happy and be proud of who you are. Your mother doesn't define you.

That's all I can really say.
 
T

The_Kid

Member
I hear ya OP. Over the years my feeling towards my parents have turned from begrudging love to just a general despising of them. I'm finishing school and moving out sometime here but one day I hope to never have to talk to them again. They're like the only people in the world who make me feel shitty for having been born. It took my boyfriend telling me "no you aren't crazy, don't beat yourself up, they're insane and not normal for parents" to snap me out of just feeling like I deserve whatever I get from them.
 
K

KraftyKrankins

Member
tr4nce 26 said:
You should honor your mother and father. I know that at times they don't deserve it or should get that type of treatment but at the end of the day its still the right thing to do and you will be happier that way.

Honor as in treat them with respect despite what they do or say.
Click to expand...

I used to agree with ouy fully like for the longest time. I dunno what anymore. It's been so much bullsht. I was a kid when I was tellnig them how much they were fucking up. Before the divorce. I'm fed up with it dude.
 
T

tr4nce 26

Banned
If you guy's want to have bitter resentful relationships with your parents, be my guest. You don't have to agree with them all the time, but the least you can do is have a certain amount of respect and love tor them for raising you and bringing you into the world.
 
R

Rizific

Member
Saving up money for you and your mom to move out? You still under her roof? If so, better get to packing and gtfo there.
 
P

privitsan02

Member
I can relate. Only not as badly and not with my mother but a sibling. At some point, there really is so much you can take.

After a couple of months of ignoring, you'll have a better understanding of what could be done if at all.

Best wishes.
 
F

frontovik

Banned
tr4nce 26 said:
If you guy's want to have bitter resentful relationships with your parents, be my guest. You don't have to agree with them all the time, but the least you can do is have a certain amount of respect and love tor them for raising you and bringing you into the world.
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I agree, it's only the decent thing to do. Pure hatred will get one nowhere.
 
S

slit

Member
tr4nce 26 said:
You should honor your mother and father. I know that at times they don't deserve it or should get that type of treatment but at the end of the day its still the right thing to do and you will be happier that way.

Honor as in treat them with respect despite what they do or say.
Click to expand...

Suicide rates among the LGBTQ community are much higher than among the general population because of parents like her. Go honor that!
 
U

umop_3pisdn

Member
tr4nce 26 said:
If you guy's want to have bitter resentful relationships with your parents, be my guest. You don't have to agree with them all the time, but the least you can do is have a certain amount of respect and love tor them for raising you and bringing you into the world.
Click to expand...

If someone feels pushed to cut ties then yeah they're probably going to be a bit resentful for a while. Maybe they'll be able to reevaluate their relationship and decide how worthwhile it is to maintain that resentment once some distance is afforded to them.
 
S

shoelacer

Banned
tr4nce 26 said:
If you guy's want to have bitter resentful relationships with your parents, be my guest. You don't have to agree with them all the time, but the least you can do is have a certain amount of respect and love tor them for raising you and bringing you into the world.
Click to expand...

This is such bullshit. I'm lucky enough to have a great relationship with each of my parents, but I have friends whose parents are irredeemable garbage and would be better off having no relationship with them at all. You don't owe your parents shit simply for making you exist.
 
D

dark_quota

Banned
Sorry to hear that OP. Family is by far the best thing in my life so it's hard to relate, but I do hope you find peace in your decision.
 
W

Wereroku

Member
KraftyKrankins said:
I used to agree with ouy fully like for the longest time. I dunno what anymore. It's been so much bullsht. I was a kid when I was tellnig them how much they were fucking up. Before the divorce. I'm fed up with it dude.
Click to expand...
At a certain point you just have to stop feeding the bad relationship. You can still love your mother but realize that having a relationship isn't good for either of you. I would say just do what you need to do and don't respond to her toxicity. Maybe she will come around some day.
 
C

conman

Member
Sorry to hear, but in the long run, putting geographic and emotional distance between you will be good for both of you. If she ever recognizes and acknowledges her cruelty, then you can work on rebuilding your relationship. But, trust me, there are more important things in life than (toxic) family.
 
G

Gaardus

Member
tr4nce 26 said:
If you guy's want to have bitter resentful relationships with your parents, be my guest. You don't have to agree with them all the time, but the least you can do is have a certain amount of respect and love tor them for raising you and bringing you into the world.
Click to expand...
Rejecting a core aspect of OP's identity and working to sabotage OP's other relationships on an ongoing, long term basis kind of preclude feelings of love and respect.
 
N

Nights Owl

Member
tr4nce 26 said:
If you guy's want to have bitter resentful relationships with your parents, be my guest. You don't have to agree with them all the time, but the least you can do is have a certain amount of respect and love tor them for raising you and bringing you into the world.
Click to expand...

I really don't agree with you at all. I'd rather my mother not have if she was going to be as shitty of a parent as she was. Years of mental and physical abuse, and my mother being almost fully self-absorbed in herself and unwilling to fix the issues that literally destroyed my mental health are not things I will ever respect just because she gave me life.

I don't wanna get all "edgy" but from all the shit my mother could have prevented, such as my brother physically abusing me, or two of her boyfriends mentally abusing me for a decade and a half, I'd rather not give her any respect.

And my father wasn't much better. So I'm failing to see where I should pretend to respect them. All this combined really makes me rather I wasn't here right now. I live every day miserably and fearful of just about any and everyone. Bleh.
 
O

Ouroboros

Member
Stay strong. You need to focus on your well being, physically and mentally. Perhaps down the line you can let her back in your life, but I don’t know your whole life story. Take a day at a time and remember if you are feeling better after renouncing, you did the right thing for yourself.
 
T

tr4nce 26

Banned
shoelacer said:
This is such bullshit. I'm lucky enough to have a great relationship with each of my parents, but I have friends whose parents are irredeemable garbage and would be better off having no relationship with them at all. You don't owe your parents shit simply for making you exist.
Click to expand...


Keep fighting hate with hate then. See how far that gets you.
 
N

Nostremitus

Member
tr4nce 26 said:
If you guy's want to have bitter resentful relationships with your parents, be my guest. You don't have to agree with them all the time, but the least you can do is have a certain amount of respect and love tor them for raising you and bringing you into the world.
Click to expand...

Depends on what the parent did, TBH...

How is a relationship bitter or resentful if it doesn't exist, though?

tr4nce 26 said:
Keep fighting hate with hate then. See how far that gets you.
Click to expand...

Fighting hate with hate? No... It's removing hate from the equation and moving on without it.

You are not considering the possibility that the parent is the hateful one, not the child. Sometimes, in order to live a hate-free life, you need to distance yourself from hateful people. Sometimes those hateful people are relatives.
 
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