So I've been playing this a bit more. I don't feel a need to rush through it, but it's a nice diversion at night with a cocktail in hand.
I still don't think the writing is great; I mean it's adequate, but not exactly something I would read outside of a game. I think Jill is a bit odd for a bartender. I've been to plenty of bars, high-class to total dives, and I've never seen a bartender be so sassy to customers. Rude/terse yes, ignoring customers yes, but never talking shit to their face unless they are a regular and doing some friendly teasing, what the Brits call 'banter'. The way she talks just doesn't feel authentic (have you ever heard a bartender use a word like "laconic"?), and I don't really like her that much.
The drink-making mechanic is okay I mean at least it gives some sense of interaction with the customer but I would have preferred something more complex and using real drinks and real ingredients. I guess you can barely call this interactive fiction, but just barely. The interactivity with other characters is very indirect. I haven't felt that need to keep playing for more than a chapter at a time because I don't really feel invested in the characters so far. There's also some poor contextual awareness which adds to the lack of interaction with the narrative, as sometimes I'll make a drink, and then the next drink they want is the one I just made, but they act like they've never had one.
I don't like the scorecard at the end of each chapter, with number of mistakes listed. That makes me want to just replay the chapter to get it "right" instead of just focusing on the story.
Like I said at the beginning, I do enjoy it to an extent. It has a fantastic mood that's generated by the music and art (though I wish they would have ditched the ever-present VA-11 HALL-A logo to make room for more bar scenery), and it's rather relaxing. But the characters and plot so far haven't grabbed me.