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This is the greatest videogame patent I've ever read

emag

Member
I probably shouldn't be reviving this thread, but I came across a patent application publication, US 2012/0052930 A1 , that continues this thread:

Here you can see one of their optimus primes--EmCeeGramr--an alpha fanboy who probably gets all the chicks, scoffing at the idea of the Hero's Journey Mythology Code of Honor: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=366448 "Will Wright, why do you deny Zeus and the Judeo-Christian God? Why do you hate freedom?" He started the thread in honor of my exalted patent which is one of the most-read videogame design documents of modern times around the watery globe: SYSTEM AND METHOD FOR CREATING EXALTED VIDEO GAMES AND VIRTUAL REALITIES WHEREIN IDEAS HAVE CONSEQUENCES: EmCeeGramr, gettin' up in yo, ho-ass modal verbs: dem bitches be AUXILIARY (Jun. 27, 2009, 04:25 PM): This is the greatest videogame patent I've ever read: http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=aAuzAAAAEBAJ The fanboyz' "expert" reactions in these forums as well as at somethingawful.com, poenews.com, brokentoys.org/Gamasupra/Gamedev.net/Neogaf/Something Awful/BrokenToys/Eegra/TeamXbox/onelastcontinue and in countless other forums definitively demonstrates, for once and for all, the non-obviousness and originality of the novel technologies disclosed herein and in other related patents, as does Will Wright's continuing to ignore Homeric and Biblical Myths, even after Spore flopped, despite having received millions in funding/publicity/hype. And too, he has likely read the Gold 45 Revolver patent by now, as everyone else.

I imagine that EmCeeGramr was promoted for his bold display of courage from behind an interne sock puppet, and that he was recruited for the upper-level brass at a videogame company (now sitting on many boards of all the top game companies), where he can make thousands of uncredited developers work overtime to strip Dante's beloved, exalted, incorruptible Beatrice naked and cast her in hell, so as to sell her boobies to the world. And then the academics scratch their heads and go, "Gee, I wonder why people don't think games are art?" Lzozozlzl "Hows comes people don't think games honor story and soul and love and beauty?" Lzozlzlzlz "Gee whiz, we're gonna need some new tools to create our Davids and Dantes and Beatrices." Lzozolzlzlz
...
I had Blinder for Economics my freshman year, the same year Joyce Carol Oates kicked me out of her creative writing class for suggesting we read the Great Books and aspire towards them (just as they deconstruct the Great Books, they try to kill their living manifestations, and she tried to kill me (as a feminist hired by the fiatocracy/fanbabies)) just like Voldemeorte tried to kill Hary Potter when he was young zlzolzzozlz, but V reminds us that "behind this mask is a n idea, and ideas are bullet-proof) in V is for Vendetta, just as Neo realizes that he needn't even dodge the bullets, as they simply aren't real in the higher realm of ideals), while writing a one-sentence story on how creativity cannot be taught, but such is the nature of soulless leftists who see the greatest good in the creation of debt and debauchery which profits the few at the expense of the many.
...
The big question here is why are fanboyz ignoring and hating on the tools presented by Joseph Campbell, Homer, Moses, George Lucas, Tolkien, Rowling, Neo, and Morpheus? Why not adopt a Hero's Journey Mythology Code of Honor in games, as presented in the figures of this patent, rather than merely imitating the fallen fanboy/feminist/fiatocracy creators of debt and debauchery (even though the fiat dollar I a jealous god and will have none others before it, and thus must hire feminists to destroy and deconstruct the exalted, virtuous, manly soul)? And that's exactly the opportunity that this invention capitalizes on, exalting novel games with awesome, meaningful, deep, profound story and gameplay. Let the fanboyz scoff at the Greats and play their childish forum games--real men will rise to exalt games and gaming as art--epic, unparalleled, exalted art.
 

Blizzard

Banned
I honestly never expected to see a NeoGAF poster name mentioned as part of random patent text.

I also feel rather like this patent is some sort of scheme to drive any patent reviewers completely insane. Holy crap, I had managed to forget all the gold 45 revolver stuff. :(
 

TheOGB

Banned
The big question here is why are fanboyz ignoring and hating on the tools presented by Joseph Campbell, Homer, Moses, George Lucas, Tolkien, Rowling, Neo, and Morpheus? Why not adopt a Hero's Journey Mythology Code of Honor in games, as presented in the figures of this patent, rather than merely imitating the fallen fanboy/feminist/fiatocracy creators of debt and debauchery (even though the fiat dollar I a jealous god and will have none others before it, and thus must hire feminists to destroy and deconstruct the exalted, virtuous, manly soul)? And that's exactly the opportunity that this invention capitalizes on, exalting novel games with awesome, meaningful, deep, profound story and gameplay. Let the fanboyz scoff at the Greats and play their childish forum games--real men will rise to exalt games and gaming as art--epic, unparalleled, exalted art.
HkSqEoz.gif
 
If you want a new tag, there's probably no better time to request one. Wow.

i'm the fanboy feminist marxist deconstructing the manly heroic fiat soul

i'm the board of all video game companies, stripping beatrice and casting her into hell to sell her boobies
 

Persona86

Banned
supernatural-confused.gif

This was seriously my face trying to read the last few pages of this thread.

I just don't get it.

Edit: I figured it out, he must be an alien trying to communicate with us by using hot women and trying to speak English in a human way.
 

MisterHero

Super Member
I'm sorry I need to see a working prototype for the applied patent.

Are you sure you can deliver this product once approved?
 

Septimius

Junior Member
Holy crap. I came across this golden nugget
I understand that we live in a declining fiatocracy, but get over it. This fiatocracy won't be around forever, and someday people will be free to act upon their desire to play games founded upon classical ideals and idealism, wherein ideas have consequences, and where they can engage in meaningful gameplay, such as protecting and defending the Constitution, and protecting the unborn and borders of an empire, instead of fighting random fiat monsters on foreign shores. I know that many fanboys insist that games should have no intellectual content, and that they should merely exist to satiate the fanboy fantasies of hiring and killing hookers, jacking cars, killing cops and civilians, and doing drugs, and that's fine and good for their era and realm of gaming. But the times, they are a changin'.

EDIT: I had no idea this thread had gone this far, and that we actually had the patent holder come here. Some people are just crazy, I guess. And they see everyone saying that to them as a clear sign that they are the only ones that aren't crazy. Wow.
 

antitrop

Member
Late on this one, but I was already completely in tears and uncontrollable laughter by page 3 of the patent in the OP.

Lost it at 'npc1 encounters npc2 vampire who quotes lenin'.
 
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