That was last year. It (or a similar one) might have made a return visit to CES, though.
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Silicon Valleys $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze
- Thread starter Armaros
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That was last year. It (or a similar one) might have made a return visit to CES, though.
It's only fitting that Goop called it the coolest invention of 2016 (when it it was 699$):
http://goop.com/the-coolest-invention-of-2016-cold-pressed-juice-at-home-with-no-mess/
http://goop.com/the-coolest-invention-of-2016-cold-pressed-juice-at-home-with-no-mess/
ghostofsparta
Member
He's wrong when saying the bags are filled with juice. According to Juiecero's website, the bag contains finely chopped fruit which is actually squeezed.
https://www.juicero.com/the-packs/
Not that I'm trying to support this product...
fixedpoint
Member
This is the most oblivious and hypocritical thing I've ever read, almost a work of art. So many gems.
ConfusingJazz
Member
I would like to see what goes in that packet, and how necessary they are to the overall product quality. Like, does any of that "fresh chopped fruit and vegetables" actually go into the drink, or could I just use a straw and get the same drink?
That $430 1930's style onesie bathing suit tho.
buy teh haloz
Banned
Can it even be called a juicer if it's not even really extracting the juice itself?
TransTrender
Gold Member
This is a perfect reflection of too many things in our society. Aside from the VC's getting hosed the best part will be the insufferable braindead assholes that will buy and defend this 'lifestyle' product to the end while they live paycheck to paycheck under the boot of these vampires.
TAJ
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
The worst wi-fi-enabled device is still that dildo with a camera, remote control and weak security.
So what? Meal replacement drinks are older than me but that Soylent weirdo still managed to make a lot of money simply by marketing them to lazy people and through the generosity of some of the dumbest backers in the admittedly short history of Kickstarter.
So what? Meal replacement drinks are older than me but that Soylent weirdo still managed to make a lot of money simply by marketing them to lazy people and through the generosity of some of the dumbest backers in the admittedly short history of Kickstarter.
2Smashed4U
Banned
The worst part of using a juicer is that every time you use it you have to disassemble the whole damned thing and clean a ton of individual parts. I think a juicer that requires next-to-no cleaning or maintenance is an incredible idea that would go a long way.
At some point though it looks like these guys got obsessed with the lucrative razor blade busniess model, and decided to poison the whole thing with their DRM technology. If this were just a one-time purchase with an easy-to-clean juicing pouch that you could put your own fruits and vegetables into, I think it could be incredibly successful.
At some point though it looks like these guys got obsessed with the lucrative razor blade busniess model, and decided to poison the whole thing with their DRM technology. If this were just a one-time purchase with an easy-to-clean juicing pouch that you could put your own fruits and vegetables into, I think it could be incredibly successful.
Coreda
Member
Amazing.
I'd say it's all the insecure IP cameras in general that continue to be widely sold and are accessible to view publicly, have backdoors, or have serious flaws with their account systems (users who had returned some NetGear cameras for example found they could still log into the new owner's account). The whole IoT thing can be a mess. In Feb it was revealed a children's IoT teddy bear was using unsecured servers to store parent's/children's voice recordings, was hackable and could be used for remote spying purposes.
Bubble Metropolis
Member
I saw an Instagram post by E-40 recently with him showing this off and thought this was the lamest thing. The $400 machine has nothing to do with the quality of the juice inside the bags?!
AcademicSaucer
Member
If the juice is good they should just sell the bags
ZackieChan
Member
Watch the ridiculous documentary Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead to see where the modern trend of juicing came from. The whole thing is utter nonsense.
Frozenprince
Banned
I could literally just spend five hours bulk juicing fresh fruit and veggies for this crap by hand and come out hundreds of dollars ahead and not have something that weighs three hundred pounds taking up my entire counter.
Or I could just buy some orange juice because it's basically just as healthy for you as this crap.
Or I could just buy some orange juice because it's basically just as healthy for you as this crap.
Huh. I had to read the entire article and then go to the website before I finally concluded it only squeezed bags, not fruit and vegetables. That's so dumb it's actually kind of amazing.
That would actually be a pretty good model. They would still be selling the disposable bags. Basically the juicing equivalent of those vacuum pack machines that sell you over priced bags. There would be a decent market for it. Not for $6 glasses of juice via mail.
That would actually be a pretty good model. They would still be selling the disposable bags. Basically the juicing equivalent of those vacuum pack machines that sell you over priced bags. There would be a decent market for it. Not for $6 glasses of juice via mail.
Frozenprince
Banned
The amount of pretention to even purchase it is honestly staggering.
There's always money in the banana stand.
So this is basically juice as a service. They really should've given you the juicer and tied you into a yearly juice contract though. Then the DRM makes perfect sense, because you can't have people jailbreaking their juicers and pirating fruit....or something.
"Please ensure your juicer is connected to the internet, juicing will not begin until product is authenticated." I wonder if Denuvo's in on this yet.
So this is basically juice as a service. They really should've given you the juicer and tied you into a yearly juice contract though. Then the DRM makes perfect sense, because you can't have people jailbreaking their juicers and pirating fruit....or something.
"Please ensure your juicer is connected to the internet, juicing will not begin until product is authenticated." I wonder if Denuvo's in on this yet.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-i0UugILBJg
This feels like a parody ad you'd see in the background in Minority Report.
This feels like a parody ad you'd see in the background in Minority Report.
Wafflecakes
Member
One of the dumbest things on earth.
Even beyond the utter stupidity of the device and its cost... people pay $8 for a SINGLE cup of juice? Fuck, I wouldn't even pay that amount for a gallon of juice.
Even beyond the utter stupidity of the device and its cost... people pay $8 for a SINGLE cup of juice? Fuck, I wouldn't even pay that amount for a gallon of juice.
I think the main problem is that there are a ton of stiffer, denser vegetables and fruits that would be difficult to juice without a lot of prep. How do you juice carrots, apples, celery? Obviously you could spend time cutting them all into thin slices, but then you lose the advantage of having a hassle-free juicer. If this device has all the strength and force of a hydraulic press then maybe it's not an issue.
Are you kidding me. God I hope it fails do badly.
I need a glass of juice
- Unlocks phone
- Connect to Wi-Fi
- Opens Juice app
- Signs in with Juice account
- Read instructions
- Generate QR Code
- Scan QR Code with the Juicer
- Sync phone with Juicer
- App updates, check cloud light on the Juicer
You know, what I'm just going to drink water.
- Unlocks phone
- Connect to Wi-Fi
- Opens Juice app
- Signs in with Juice account
- Read instructions
- Generate QR Code
- Scan QR Code with the Juicer
- Sync phone with Juicer
- App updates, check cloud light on the Juicer
You know, what I'm just going to drink water.
br0ken_shad0w
Member
So GAF what mundane task can we overengineer and somehow make millions from lazy and gullible people?
nekkid
It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is our plan.
Something to read GAF for me would be a real time saver.
hammysaurusrex
Member
NinjaMouse
Member
So the takeaway here is that we now know that E-40 is probably an investor in this scam. =P
With our new online expiration date checking system we no longer need this sort of warrantless FDA overreach
I bloody love this excerpt.
kept laughing all morning...
encephalon
Member
Lol a juicer that squeezes juice that's already made. Someone thought of a juicer that defeats the very purpose of a juicer.
Two words: Chicken Nuggets.
We build a machine who's sole function is the cooking of perfect chicken nuggets and squirting an appropriate amount of sauce. The nuggets would come in individual packs of 8. The machine would read a QR code to figure out the ideal nugget "doneness", and how to cook it given the current nugget temperature. A little notification would then ding on your phone, alerting you to the farm your chicken was culled from.
Wow, this is so incredibly dumb a product
All of this for a pleasure of more hassle than ordering bottles of juice
FantasticMrFoxdie
Mumber
There's actually fruits and veggies in the packets. You can feel it in the texture when you press the bag. Even though i've tried plenty of them, I'm actually curious how they make the bags. There's no pulp or anything when you squeeze it out, even when not using the brickmachine lol. My guess is there's a really fine filter inside and it's engineered like a blood bag where the slit is very small for the liquid to come through
And yeah you actually really have to squeeze to get it out of the bag. Similar to wringing a towel.
No pulps? I'd like a health snob/hippy to defend this.
Antiwhippy
the holder of the trombone
So... you get none of the benefits of having the actual fruit pieces instead of going straight juice?
I think they mean no pulp comes out when you hand squeeze or get the machine to press as there's some sort of filter in there. You can see the pulp when they cut one open in the recycling part of the YouTube video.
I mean you WANT pulps. That's the point of fresh squeeze. Otherwise you may as well just order Tropicana. Them fibers
Edit: and seriously, that recycle process. So we have a product that is more expensive, more time wasting, less inconvenient, and possibly more waste.
Ah, I see where you're coming from.
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