Support NeoGAF

Vermillion · Apr 4, 2012

Timedog said:
They're likely to break up either way after finding out that they're incompatible with living with each other. At that point the relationship is done. They might be less likely to break up if they're more long-term, but this is not a positive thing.

Most of the advice in this thread is based off the premise that breaking up is a "failure", and that it is necessary to stop this from happening at all costs. The sooner you break up with someone that you are incompatible with, the better.

I suppose so. I just mean that they're more likely to work on it for a better relationship. but I see where you're coming from.

Dropping the relationship based off of being unable to live together, especially under the circumstances (he's doing it to help her out) may not be the best choice altogether.

alphaNoid · Apr 4, 2012

Can't wait for the follow up thread.

"Ex-gf of 2 months won't move out! Has nobody else to live with so I feel obligated to forfeit my life to keep her happy. HALP!"

MikeHaggar · Apr 4, 2012

i'm kind of surprised by all of the people saying not to do it and what a huge mistake it is... it's not like they're talking about moving in together for good and living happily ever after two months into a relationship. the girl is in a bind and needs a place to stay so she can take this internship and better herself. i mean, isn't that what relationships are about? helping each other better themselves?

it's really not that sticky of a decision. you tell her that, normally, two months would not be enough time to start "living" together, but given the circumstances you'll agree to it. however, stress that it's only for the summer. if she's decent, reasonable person she will understand that.

honestly, if i was in a relationship with a girl and found myself needing a place to stay so i could do an internship while in college and my girlfriend was in a position to help me out but didn't even offer i'd be thinking "well, this one doesn't care about me all that much" even if it was only after two months of being together.

Timedog · Apr 4, 2012

JokerOfSpades said:
I suppose so. I just mean that they're more likely to work on it for a better relationship. but I see where you're coming from.

Dropping the relationship based off of being unable to live together, especially under the circumstances (he's doing it to help her out) may not be the best choice altogether.

What do the circumstances matter with them being able to live together or not?

Vermillion · Apr 4, 2012

Timedog said:
What do the circumstances matter with them being able to live together or not?

They're not living together for the sake of living together - they're doing that because she needs the help.

If a relationship has lasted a bit longer, and they decide "okay, we want to live together because we love each other," they're more likely to want to sustain the relationship and learn to live together.

CoffeeJanitor · Apr 4, 2012

Macmanus said:
As far as this being an experience to gain maturity from - I don't think that's the debate.

However, when you solicit a video game message board asking for the denizens opinion on this subject - people who have experienced this scenario or know others that have (I personally have), don't be shocked at the answers. That NO you are reading echoed over and over again is from said maturation and life experiences.

So; if we want to be 100% pragmatic about a response to this it's thus:

Kid, this will be a learning experience one way or another. You will grow from it. It also is a highly volatile situation in which you should expect to experience emotional pain, increased financial burden, and ultimately stress. It could end up locking you into something incredibly long term that neither of you might be prepared for. Most likely it will end in heart break. If you defy odds and logic - you'll end up happily ever after. It's clear your mind was made up before you posted this thread - which is fine. Just be aware that the likelihood of you regretting this decision is infinitely greater than everything turning out just peachy.

I agree with this. I would say no, but OP is probably set in his ways.

Timedog said:
What do the circumstances matter with them being able to live together or not?

Are you even reading what you're writing?

"What do the details matter when making a decision?"

Vermillion · Apr 4, 2012

For more clarification on my end:

If a guy was to punch someone out on the first week of dating, the girl he's with is likely to be all "heeeellll no," and leave. After a year or more, they're more likely to stick with each other and figure shit out.

Timedog · Apr 4, 2012

JokerOfSpades said:
For more clarification on my end:

If a guy was to punch someone out on the first week of dating, the girl he's with is likely to be all "heeeellll no," and leave. After a year or more, they're more likely to stick with each other and figure shit out.

You should want to know if your boyfriend is the type that punches people out as soon as possible.

Vermillion · Apr 4, 2012

Timedog said:
You should want to know if your boyfriend is the type that punches people out as soon as possible.

That's very true. But you're more likely to give chances for explanation and to figure things out if you've known them for a while. Like, if instead of a year, it was 25. You'd be more understanding of it.

LuchaShaq · Apr 4, 2012

JokerOfSpades said:
For more clarification on my end:

If a guy was to punch someone out on the first week of dating, the girl he's with is likely to be all "heeeellll no," and leave. After a year or more, they're more likely to stick with each other and figure shit out.

That's not really a fair example. Punching your grandma, and punching someone in defense couldn't be two more different things.

Vermillion · Apr 4, 2012

LuchaShaq said:
That's not really a fair example. Punching your grandma, and punching someone in defense couldn't be two more different things.

That's true, so let's assume it was a random guy, and not in self-defense. There's a reason for everything, but not many people give others the time of day in thinking about things. That girl who looked at you then looked away sharply... have you considered that you've done the same with girls you like?

Or the guy who doesn't hold the door open for you - haven't you had shitty days, too?

Timedog · Apr 4, 2012

JokerOfSpades said:
That's very true. But you're more likely to give chances for explanation and to figure things out if you've known them for a while. Like, if instead of a year, it was 25. You'd be more understanding of it.

You can try to reframe it any way you want, but getting to know what your SO is actually like as early as possible is a good thing unless you're afraid of being alone. Learning new things about someone that might disqualify them as a lover is not a negative thing. Yes, after a long term relationship these kinds of things (punching someone out, etc) would be less likely to cause termination of the relationship, because the two people are more intertwined in all aspects of their lives. You want to know stuff like this early so that you do not get too deeply intertwined with someone that you shouldn't.

subversus · Apr 4, 2012

Do it. You can put up with more shit while you are young. You'll get experience and won't do some mistakes in the future.

Vermillion · Apr 4, 2012

Timedog said:
You can try to reframe it any way you want, but getting to know what your SO is actually like as early as possible is a good thing unless you're afraid of being alone. Learning new things about someone that might disqualify them as a lover is not a negative thing. Yes, after a long term relationship these kinds of things (punching someone out, etc) would be less likely to cause termination of the relationship, because the two people are more intertwined in all aspects of their lives. You want to know stuff like this early so that you do not get too deeply intertwined with someone that you shouldn't.

Well, my point was that you're more likely to understand them. For 25 years, you know it's not them - it could be specific circumstances that you help them get through. For a week, you'd be smarter not to trust them, and to leave. It's really unlikely that someone who hardly knows you will try to understand you. And we've all done out of character things.

Now I'm out for the night.

heckfu · Apr 4, 2012

Tunavi, how fast do you think she'd move out when she found out you told the internet she's poor?

xxjuicesxx · Apr 4, 2012

I lived with my gf before we started dating. Not a big deal. Whats the point of dating someone for x amount of time just to figure out you can't fucking stand living with them when you finally do?

Zeouterlimits · Apr 4, 2012

Much like some other posters, my girlfriend practically moved in straight away just by staying over constantly.

It's good bro. If you feel you can trust her, which by dating her I assume you do, do it.

Robot Pants · Apr 4, 2012

RevDM · Apr 4, 2012

xxjuicesxx said:
I lived with my gf before we started dating. Not a big deal. Whats the point of dating someone for x amount of time just to figure out you can't fucking stand living with them when you finally do?

The point is you run the relative risk of living with a crazy.

MidgarBlowedUp · Apr 4, 2012

If she's hot I've got room at my place.

HarryHengst · Apr 4, 2012

Hahahaha, moving in with an 18 year old girl who just started college and has been your girlfriend for 2 months. Oh GAF, you never fail to disappoint me. :lol

Nevasleep · Apr 4, 2012

RevDM said:
The point is you run the relative risk of living with a crazy.

Well the OP and his roommate friend, I hate to say it, but can just 'persuade' her to move the hell out. As it's 2 vs 1 in the house.

Support NeoGAF

Should I let my new girlfriend move in with me?

Banned

Banned

Member

good credit (by proxy)

Banned

Member

Banned

good credit (by proxy)

Banned

Banned

Banned

good credit (by proxy)

I've done nothing with my life except eat and fap

Banned

Banned

Member

Member

Member

Banned

Member

Member

Member

Similar threads