It´s a repeating trend...basically the last 2 weeks she mostly told me that she has no time to spend with me cuz her friend told her to hang out...and sure i don´t wanna blame her...i just told her that it feels weird to me when she e.g. replies to my sms really late or not at all...then i asked her if she is avoiding me. I mean last week she told me that she feels sory for neglecting me and told me it´s because of job stress she has...i then said that it´s ok if she needs a bit time to rest...but now it gets more and more frequent and I really feel neglected now.
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Gay and Bisexual relationship thread |OT|
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It´s a repeating trend...basically the last 2 weeks she mostly told me that she has no time to spend with me cuz her friend told her to hang out...and sure i don´t wanna blame her...i just told her that it feels weird to me when she e.g. replies to my sms really late or not at all...then i asked her if she is avoiding me. I mean last week she told me that she feels sory for neglecting me and told me it´s because of job stress she has...i then said that it´s ok if she needs a bit time to rest...but now it gets more and more frequent and I really feel neglected now.
I never post on Facebook, as you know, but I have read some of your updates about school and fitness. You should be happy to know that after about four years of your constant fitness nut raving (the vegetarianism and the hiking and the yoga and the running (and then more running) and the gym and the competitive interpretive dance routines (which mostly involved running, I imagine) (I might be making that last one up... can't remember) that your implicit - and yet somehow even more insidious - peer pressure successfully pressured me into eating ever-so-slightly better and getting ever-so-slightly more exercise.
So congratulations. Bastard.
And yeah, I'd love to. I really enjoyed coming up last time, especially meeting your friends, and I like seeing Andy~ And maybe those damned penguins will be there. Stupid penguins.
I never left; I just don't post in this topic all that often since I'm not in a relationship (which for all I know isn't actually the exclusive focus of this topic now that I think about it). But then I saw excel posting and I was surprised since last time we talked he said he hadn't been on GAF in awhile, so I had to say hi.
@Mumei - is your av Johann?
Anywho, because I only really get to see my local guy once a week we kinda got into a formulaic routine of picking him up > dinner > movie night > fuck like rabbits > sleep until I needed to take him back to his place. Not that thats BAD mind you, but I for one really want to take him out even if its something simple as going to the park or walking around the city or whatever. Problem was getting him for a whole day due to scheduling.
Thankfully this past easter I was able to snag him for the entire day. So where do I take him? The only place where a gay couple plus my BFF (interracial straight couple) we could logically go in the deep south: The farmers flea market.
We all knew exactly what we were getting into, we even made a little game of it. My friend and his wife trailed behind us while Andy and I (we share the same name) walked ahead doing the usual couples PDA (hands, arms around waist etc etc). On top of that we're already easy to spot: one big guy (me) hugging on an average build guy with ink, 1 inch gauged ears and a septum piece.
Apparently every single head turned that day. And unfortunately it was mostly negative. No one confronted us, but the words my friend and his wife heard even made me lose my temper later on. Nothing creative, just the usual hate speech barring one mother telling her child that all of 'us' should be wiped out.
Oh well, their problem. Andy and I had a great day and all the vendors we spoke to were very cool. Things are progressing at a solid rate and I have a strong feeling it will be something more one day. I'm still unsure if I want to jump into a relationship so soon, but at the same time if I did I'd have no problem trying it with him.
Anywho, because I only really get to see my local guy once a week we kinda got into a formulaic routine of picking him up > dinner > movie night > fuck like rabbits > sleep until I needed to take him back to his place. Not that thats BAD mind you, but I for one really want to take him out even if its something simple as going to the park or walking around the city or whatever. Problem was getting him for a whole day due to scheduling.
Thankfully this past easter I was able to snag him for the entire day. So where do I take him? The only place where a gay couple plus my BFF (interracial straight couple) we could logically go in the deep south: The farmers flea market.
We all knew exactly what we were getting into, we even made a little game of it. My friend and his wife trailed behind us while Andy and I (we share the same name) walked ahead doing the usual couples PDA (hands, arms around waist etc etc). On top of that we're already easy to spot: one big guy (me) hugging on an average build guy with ink, 1 inch gauged ears and a septum piece.
Apparently every single head turned that day. And unfortunately it was mostly negative. No one confronted us, but the words my friend and his wife heard even made me lose my temper later on. Nothing creative, just the usual hate speech barring one mother telling her child that all of 'us' should be wiped out.
Oh well, their problem. Andy and I had a great day and all the vendors we spoke to were very cool. Things are progressing at a solid rate and I have a strong feeling it will be something more one day. I'm still unsure if I want to jump into a relationship so soon, but at the same time if I did I'd have no problem trying it with him.
That and he's friggin' amazing in the sack
excelforward
Member
Hm. Job stress could be a factor, certainly. This raises a few questions, so I can certainly see where the stress is coming from. From here, I say it's your call, honestly. The facts piled up could, emotionally at least, make you wonder if she's cheating. In the end, though, only time can tell. I stick by my advice of trusting her, but I know how you feel, and I know how much it sucks. Best of luck, man!
YES. I've gotten you, and Aydrian, and several others up here to do so. See? My power of influence extends past the realm of late-night cashier clerks. Oh, and I finally watched Eden of the East AND finshed Game of Thrones (books). You have influence, too. Oh, and you weren't supposed to see the interpretive dance. That's between me, my headphones, and the curtains pulled down.
Hm. Job stress could be a factor, certainly. This raises a few questions, so I can certainly see where the stress is coming from. From here, I say it's your call, honestly. The facts piled up could, emotionally at least, make you wonder if she's cheating. In the end, though, only time can tell. I stick by my advice of trusting her, but I know how you feel, and I know how much it sucks. Best of luck, man!
yeah it sucks that she says she has job stress and wants some chill out time but then again rather is hanging out with her friend...but oh well...i will just trust her because i love her. your advice made me feel a bit better though...so thx!
excelforward
Member
No, he just IS Johann
and puts Nina to shame when he wears a dress
In my experience, Andys often are. *Cue Mumei cringing and flailing*
Glad I could help, if only a bit.
I just post here when the subject bounces back to "pics of hot guys", who cares about relationships.
Good, then I <3 Mumei on AV precedence alone.
Indeed, but IMO Andrews are better.
Kinda just saying that because that's what I go by. But the things I can do with my beard are borderline magical
excelforward
Member
Good, then I <3 Mumei on AV precedence alone.
Indeed, but IMO Andrews are better.Kinda just saying that because that's what I go by. But the things I can do with my beard are borderline magical
Never tried an Andrew, though there's a trainer at the gym I used to go to by the name of Andrew. Biceps like my calves (and I've got good calves) and a chin that could chisel rock. I could do
Sounds like a good stock of Andrew right thur.
Nothing to add to that lol.
Its the Atlanta Eagle's 25th anniversary this weekend. It's going to be downright crazy!! Hope I don't get too carried away in that sea of harnesses and fur. Eh, lets be realistic I'm going to go nuts pun intended.
Nothing to add to that lol.
Its the Atlanta Eagle's 25th anniversary this weekend. It's going to be downright crazy!! Hope I don't get too carried away in that sea of harnesses and fur. Eh, lets be realistic I'm going to go nuts pun intended.
Oh, I'm not being nearly as good as Aydrian (who I haven't seen in months and whose Firefly DVDs I ought to return). I've just started walking a few miles (borrowing the neighbor's husky~) a day for a couple months. I was doing it before winter hit, but then it got too cold for that. I've thought about running, but the bug hasn't really hit me yet.
And speaking of reading, you should make an account on Goodreads.
While I do totally have the effete build for it, I am not Johan.
And Masamuna, the avatar is actually fanart; here are others by the same person. Love it.
Jordan, dear, you told me that the very first day after you slept with him for the first time. This is not new information 'tall.
That said:
D
Deleted member 30609
Unconfirmed Member
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DR2K
Banned
Truth is never rainbows and butterflies monami.
I'm guessing you've known she's bisexual for awhile now?
Since you've been together for a year - I don't think you should really jump to the "she's cheating" idea. Presumably if your relationship has lasted this long you've both earned each other's trust and it's not something you should really question just because she's been spending a lot of time with a friend.
As mentioned before, I wouldn't make it seem like she's doing something wrong - as you probably wouldn't like it if she was getting on your case for spending time with a friend either. In all likelihood, she probably wasn't even aware that you felt this way and probably doesn't think there's anything wrong.
Just tell her that you feel you haven't been spending much time together. Try and arrange some time together - whether it be a movie, dinner or just an evening. Make a date and do something fun and relaxing.
excelforward
Member
Why is that those who are the most cruel are those that justify themselves as the utmost purveyors of truth? Truth is not necessarily cruel anymore than truth is neccessarily kind. The truth you don't want to hear can be cruel at first, but in the end, is it not kind that you know more for it?
I'm not annoyed about what you were thinking. I'm sure a lot of people thought the same thing. My problem is with the fact that you considered it 'advice' enough to give it to someone who was (in my opinion) in genuine need of actual compassion and sound narrative. One-line statements touting 'hard truth' are nothing when not backed up by a good argument. Otherwise, it merely suggests you're trolling and have nothing 'real' to say.
DR2K
Banned
It's not advice, it's flat out telling him the most likely possibility. There's no need for an argument the girl sounds like she's not very interested in men based on his statements. He shouldn't take it personally is all I'm trying to say, being gay isn't an on and off thing.
Not to hop on the bitch train, but...
I agree with DR2K. Girlfriend starts talking more about her bisexuality and making jokes about actively doing things with girls coincidentally around the time she starts getting super close to this other chick? Yeah, not going to outright say she IS cheating. But you'd be an outright fool to not see the red flags.
That being said, DR2K could be a little nicer about it...
says the guy who outright called your a slut a page ago. lol
DR2K
Banned
It's not mean if your intentions are good.
Fantastical
Death Prophet
I feel like lying about my sexuality for so long has made me a VERY private person. I'm afraid to let anyone know anything personal about me because I've had to hide so much in my life. It's just made me extremely sensitive to negative judgment from people. I also feel very strange acknowledging that I am gay to people that know I'm gay (I've only come out to my parents and a friend). I want to be able to tell my friend that I think some guy is hot or something but I can't because it doesn't feel right because I've literally said those words before.
I need to come out to everyone, but I hate talking about being gay. I'm not really afraid about people knowing I'm gay, it's just the actual "I'm gay" thing is very awkward to me because I've, I guess, been insinuating that I'm straight for so long.
I need to come out to everyone, but I hate talking about being gay. I'm not really afraid about people knowing I'm gay, it's just the actual "I'm gay" thing is very awkward to me because I've, I guess, been insinuating that I'm straight for so long.
Go to the mirror and tell yourself that you are gay until you can say "fuck yeah I'm gay" then make your friends call you gay until you can say "you know it, gurl"
got to embrace it
This isn't always true.
The poster didn't actually mention that though. Perhaps there was ambiguity in the scenario, but from my understanding he didn't specify when his girlfriend identified as bisexual. Perhaps for the entire year they have been dating he's know that she's bi and only now feels threatened because he feels she's been neglecting him for this new friend.
If that is the case, I can't see how it's any more likely that she's cheating than she isn't. For all we know, she's just made a new friend that she really likes spending time with. This has only been going on the last two weeks and there hasn't been any other indications that she's been unfaithful.
This seems like pretty good advice. Well... maybe not the bit with the friends but at least the acceptance of yourself is important. I can really relate with your situation, having spent most of my life living as a heterosexual. My coming out has certainly created some interesting perceptions in my friends and it's still something I am dealing with to this day. I rarely talk about people I'm attracted to and almost never if its a guy. It's a change that you need to get used to because it's not just others perception of you but also how you perceive yourself.
DR2K
Banned
Thr Catholic Church and the Republican Party.
There wouldn't be many gays if it were possible.
D
Deleted member 30609
Unconfirmed Member
GasProblem
Member
Told my nephew I'm gay yesterday. We talked a bit about it and he's totally ok with it. Feels so good getting a reaction like that. The only people I still want to tell in person are my uncle and aunt and my grandparents. After that, my coming out is pretty complete Really wonder how my grandparents are going to react. They're 90 and 91 and faith is a big deal to them, I really don't know what they think about gay people. If they're going to come at me with the youre going to hell talk I'll tell them to fuck off, but I don't expect them to do that.
Really wonder how my grandparents are going to react. They're 90 and 91 and faith is a big deal to them, I really don't know what they think about gay people. If they're going to come at me with the youre going to hell talk I'll tell them to fuck off, but I don't expect them to do that.Electivirus
Member
Pretty much the only people who know I'm gay are my online friends. >.<
Used to be the same way and I think lots of people have been in similar situations. Accentuate the positive. Not so long ago you wouldn't even have the internet to be out on. Things get awesomer once you can move or you eventually get confident enough that the people you currently surround yourself with could deal with it enough for you to find yourself. Might help some of them out, too.
Electivirus
Member
Yeah, I won't even think about telling anyone IRL until I've moved out, at least. Especially not with the deeply religious family that I'm stuck with.
I can relate on that, too. From a pretty backwater area and my relationship with my family was pretty shitty. I waffled on coming out in high school (to some successes and more problems) and was generally a hypersexualized sociopath when unleashed a distance from home during college. I don't think my relationships with other dudes evened out until I moved cross country and was able to successfully start over and give myself a decent and fresh personal narrative.
Jamie xxoo
Member
Do you think if you date someone who looks like you, you must be totally narcissistic?
Especially if you're completely oblivious to it until it's pointed out to you?
Especially if you're completely oblivious to it until it's pointed out to you?
excelforward
Member
I'd say no. I've met several couples that look (startlingly) similar, but aren't jerks in the slightest. It's all about what you happen to be interested in. In my case, I'm a skinny twink-ish sort of guy, and am attracted to more muscular guys with hair. As a result, I'm trying to buff up to be more like the guys I'm interested in. Like attracts like, I guess?
Edit: Post 19,000!
Guys, I just need to talk to someone and I don't have anyone to talk to. The thing is... I finally did it, and to add to that, it was a one night stand with a guy I met in a bar. Now I'm going back and forth between not giving a damn, and deeply regretting it, it just wasn't very good for me to be honest, but maybe it was just the pressure of the first time? I don't know, the weird thing is that I don't feel less of a "virgin" now than how I felt before. I guess the experience overall was a bit overwhelming, but my expectations were way higher... I don't know, it was mostly enjoyable but I realized I wasn't into the guy as much as he was into me, and now he want us to meet again, but I don't want to... I don't know, my mind is going crazy right now, some times I feel nothing of importance happened, then next moment I'm getting paranoid about STDs and whatnot(yes of course he used a condom, still...)
Well, I just needed to rant, it sucks not having anyone to talk to about this things.
edit: damn! first page...
Well, I just needed to rant, it sucks not having anyone to talk to about this things.
edit: damn! first page...
first times are not always amazing, dont let it bother you much the best thing you can take from it is what you enjoyed and what you didn't for the next time
Definitely. I did learn a couple of things, most important, I'm not really a one night stand guy, and contrary to what I always thought, I'm not a bottom, although I'm not completely closed to it, I guess it also depends on the person you are with.
All I can say is that its not really that important to "do it", for sex, you really have to be on the same page as the other person, and I unfortunately wasn't. It wasn't completely horrible either, so overall I guess it was good experience. And I know it can be great, but for the virgins guys out there, don't rush into it, there's no hurry, and I'm 30 years old so I know what I'm talking about heh.
Tritroid
Member
It is common for narcissists to find people that look and act identical to them for relationships, but it never lasts long.
Either way, if you're questioning whether or not you're a narcissist...you're probably not a narcissist. Narcissists are blind to the fact that they have any flaws, it's a completely unrealistic possibility to them. They also lack traits such as empathy, sympathy, or guilt, but are capable of charming the birds right down out of the fucking trees when you first meet them. They mirror exactly what you want to find in a potential mate after they've studied you for a while, and then once you fall for them, they get bored and discard you for other forms of 'prey'. They're evil to the core, and literally only care about themselves.
Sorry...I've had serious issues with Narcs in the past.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
So true. I (drunkenly) took the only opportunity that had/has ever come my way when I was 31 and knew almost immediately that it was a mistake. If anything, it discouraged and depressed me even more regarding sex; still haven't gotten past it almost two years later.
I think it's quite common for people to feel ambivalent about their first time, mantidor.
My first time was fine, although it felt anticlimactic. I thought that I'd feel differently afterwards - although I don't think that I knew how I thought I'd feel differently - so it can be confusing when it turns out not to be such a big thing. It seems like you've learned a lot from it though, so it sounds like it was a positive experience for you in the long run. Now you can look forward to meeting guys that you're more compatible with!
My first time was fine, although it felt anticlimactic. I thought that I'd feel differently afterwards - although I don't think that I knew how I thought I'd feel differently - so it can be confusing when it turns out not to be such a big thing. It seems like you've learned a lot from it though, so it sounds like it was a positive experience for you in the long run. Now you can look forward to meeting guys that you're more compatible with!
Bel Marduk
Banned
.. and now you'll feel more confident next time it happens so be glad you got it out of the way. Sex is disappointing a lot of the time or maybe you were doing it wrong. You said he used a condom.. which probably means well don't worry it won't hurt quite as much the more that you do it.
and as far as the rant.. well thats what this thread is for.
I think you should still give yourself a chance no matter how much it sucked. What I also learned is that you need to know yourself, and that's easier said than done, sometimes you think you are going to like something because you fantasize a lot about it but in reality you don't, and vice versa, or you have limits you didn't know, or the limits you thought you had in reality are not there. Knowing and accepting yourself turned out to be a big part of enjoying being with someone else. And the funny thing is that you know yourself easier through being with others, and I don't mean just sex. While my mind can't stop spinning right now, I feel I moved one big step.
The consensus is clear, you get over it, and while the experience is still very recent for me, I do believe that is the case. Thanks everyone for your input!
This friend of a friend that I've been talking to for the past couple weeks told me he liked me today. Hopefully we can go out again soon. I hate my school/work schedule, cuz I basically have no free evenings except friday/saturday/sunday, and this weekend I'm going to Coachella :|
Hopefully we can go out again soon. I hate my school/work schedule, cuz I basically have no free evenings except friday/saturday/sunday, and this weekend I'm going to Coachella :|I hate gay guys!
Well gay dating site guys. My profile clearly states everything I like what I'm into. My body type etc. And I have not put a picture. I'd rather someone judge me on what they read and think of me before just sending a message because of how I look.
Anyway so this guy says he wants to talk on skype. All he asks about is physical features. He asks for a picture. I say I'll turn on my webcam. I turn it on for a little bit and then turn it off. Anyway he keeps asking more questions. whats your height? weight? etc
So I tell him, Then he says so you're fat. I say I'm not thin nor fat and just inbetween. Then he's like not with that weight and just keeps on going about it.
Anyway I'm so over this crap... I've been single since september last year and messed around a bit in october. But decided I just needed time to myself
Today I just decided to see if I could meet someone decent to talk to. Guess not -_-
Well gay dating site guys. My profile clearly states everything I like what I'm into. My body type etc. And I have not put a picture. I'd rather someone judge me on what they read and think of me before just sending a message because of how I look.
Anyway so this guy says he wants to talk on skype. All he asks about is physical features. He asks for a picture. I say I'll turn on my webcam. I turn it on for a little bit and then turn it off. Anyway he keeps asking more questions. whats your height? weight? etc
So I tell him, Then he says so you're fat. I say I'm not thin nor fat and just inbetween. Then he's like not with that weight and just keeps on going about it.
Anyway I'm so over this crap... I've been single since september last year and messed around a bit in october. But decided I just needed time to myself
Today I just decided to see if I could meet someone decent to talk to. Guess not -_-
So where's the picture?
jokes
I've never used a dating site so I can't really say one way or the other but it's my understanding that some sites are more focussed towards relationships while others are just for hookups. Perhaps look for the ones that are aimed at more serious relationships and make your intentions clear. The moment someone seems to be a douche, just stop talking to them.
CHEEZMO
Obsidian fan
lol, what a bellend.
What did you used to be, if you don't mind me asking? 150lbs was my goal too and I hit it recently, now I'm aiming for 160lbs. What kind of things are you eating to gain weight so fast?
I need to buy more 10kg plates, as with all my weights on the barbell it's ~145lbs - so that's what I've been using to bench press/squat/deadlift. I would love to give a 200lb squat a go some time soon, although what the bf has me doing is increasing the amount of time for each rep and I think that's just as good for making gains as using extra weight. Seems to be working anyways. I might also have to post some pics of my progress in here some time.
Sai! :3This friend of a friend that I've been talking to for the past couple weeks told me he liked me today.
That's awesome about the new friend but sucky about the work load. Summer is just around the corner though so I hope we'll all have more time for romance then. I don't know if I will, I'll have a thesis to write... yay?
I also can't believe you used a ':l' smiley and Coachella in the same sentence, for shame!
I'd approach the subject the other way round and post in your profile the most innocent, non-sexual and safe for work picture you have around where your features can be seen well without the need of requesting further pictures, maybe two or three in different situations (indoors, outdoors, practising some sport...). Most people in dating sites (me included) are usually not bothered with people without pics and just filter them out. Why? Let's see:
8-10 years ago not having a picture of you in your profile (or IRC, MSC, whatever...) wasn't that strange. Digital cameras and webcams were not as widespread (and were expensive as hell) but nowadays, in the age of laptops with integrated webcams and phones where even the lowest end dumbphones (save it for granny models) have a 2Mpx camera, the "I don't have a pic" excuse is no longer valid and it automagically indicates one (or various) of these issues:
1 - You're actually fugly. A lot. Beyond the "well, he's at least nice" boundary.
2 - Horrible self-esteem
3 - Closeted
4 - Married/Partnered and not being in an open relationship
5 - Fear of being recognised by somebody or "outed" (partially related to #3 and #4)
And guess what? besides #1 which is a completely different issue (and trust me, it's really not. I know fugly people that get laid more often than I do) nobody really wants to be with people in numbers #2 to #5 unless all they want is furtive anonymous sex (which is obviously not what you're after). If you want something more with them, they will always mean trouble, like, it's not fun going to the movies with someone that will request you to say you're his cousin or neighbour if you come across someone, or that asks you to try not to be seen by anybody when entering their home, or ridiculous stuff like that.
Think for a moment... how would people react if you approached in real life to them with a paper bag over your head even with the most innocent intention? What kind of people do you think you can attract that way?
Just my two cents.
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