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Favourite Simpsons joke?

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VenomousCoffee

VenomousCoffee

Member
Oh man, so many great ones already in this thread.

-The Canyonero song

-"Oh Homer, people don't do that kind of thing with fish."

-"Two independent thought alarms in one day? Willie, remove the colored chalk from the classrooms."

-"You may remember me from such self-help videos as Smoke Yourself Thin! and Be Confident, Stupid."

-"I'm just a memory, Homer. I can't provide any new information."
 
I

IggyChooChoo

Member
ScraftyDevil said:
hqdefault.jpg


"She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene."

"What country is this car from?"

"It no longer exists, but take her for a test-drive and you'll agree--'Zagreb ebnen zloty diev!'"

"Put it in 'H!'"

This entire scene never fails to get a rise out of me. It's so brilliantly-written and -animated.
Click to expand...

Along similar lines: "Here's Eastern Europe's favorite cat and mouse team, Worker and Parasite!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2_dhUv_CrI
 
U

unpopularblargh

Member
il Diavolo said:
probably misses his old glasses
Click to expand...

Mine is from the same episode:
Homer: My own son going on his first date. (singing) Sunrise, Sunset, Sunrise, Sunset, (sings faster) Cats and the cradle and the silver spoon. Yes, we have no bananas. (starts sobbing)
Marge: Aw, Homie, it's sweet Bart is going on a date.
Homer: No, it's not that, they have no bananas.

Edit: Found a video link.
 
M

Magnet_Man

Member
Time and Punishment is the greatest episode of the series.

Quiet you!

Stupid bug! You go squish now!

Mustn't! Touch! Mustn't! Kill! ..phew *sits on a fish*
Oh, I wish I wish I didn't kill that fish...

Well behaved kids. Dead inlaws. Luxury sedan. Woo-hoo! I've hit the jackpot! Marge, would you kindly hand me a doughnut?
-What's a "doughnut"?
AAH! AAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! *runs back to toaster* *doughnuts begin falling from the sky*
-Oh no, it's raining again.

Favorite joke
"Don't touch anything"!? I'LL TOUCH WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE!!

Extra:
(Ha~ppy Birth~day~, Mr. Smithers~)
Mmmmmmmm

All hail King Homer!
 
K

KeyBladerXIII

Member
When Homer gets trapped in the 3D world in one of the Tree house of Horror episodes and he tries to explain what it's like:

Homer: Um, it's like, uh... did anyone see the movie Tron?
Doctor: No.
Lisa: No.
Chief Wiggum: No.
Marge: No.
Bart: No.
Selma: No.
Chief Wiggum (again): No.
Ned: No.
Patty: No.
Prof. Frink: No.
Rev. Lovejoy: No.
Chief Wiggum (3rd time): Yes. I mean, no. No.
 
S

Secret Fawful

Member
Homer on Rock Bottom will always be my favorite segment.

I also really like the physical gags like Homer rolling out of a car and rolling back into it.
 
H

Herne

Member
ScraftyDevil said:
hqdefault.jpg


"She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene."

"What country is this car from?"

"It no longer exists, but take her for a test-drive and you'll agree--'Zagreb ebnen zloty diev!'"

"Put it in 'H!'"

This entire scene never fails to get a rise out of me. It's so brilliantly-written and -animated.
Click to expand...

Absolutely my favourite. The little details are perfect, such as the fly logo on the steering wheel as it is on the front of the car as well. "Put her in H" is still my all-time favourite line from The Simpsons.

It's probably a dig at the Trabant, but who knows.
 
W

WedgeX

Banned
It's a full song but:

Well, sir, there's nothing on earth
Like a genuine, bona fide
Electrified, six-car monorail

What'd I say?
Monorail
What's it called?
Monorail
That's right! Monorail
Monorail
Monorail
Monorail

I hear those things are awfully loud
It glides as softly as a cloud
Is there a chance the track could bend?
Not on your life, my Hindu friend
What about us brain-dead slobs?
You'll be given cushy jobs
Were you sent here by the Devil?
No, good sir, I'm on the level
The ring came off my pudding can
Take my pen knife, my good man

I swear it's Springfield's only choice
Throw up your hands and raise your voice
Monorail
What's it called?
Monorail
Once again
Monorail

But Main Street's still all cracked and broken
Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken

Monorail!
Monorail!
Monorail!
Monorail!
Mono, d'oh!


The perfect everything about the Simpsons.
 
O

Ogodei

Member
The opening to Season 9, Episode 9 "Realty Bites."

HOMER: Ahh, I love these lazy Saturdays.

MARGE: It's Wednesday, Homer.

HOMER: Ahh! Work!

(Scene transition)

HOMER: Ahh, i love these *real* Saturdays. (mutters) Not like that fake Saturday that almost got me fired.

Another great gag right on the family couch, Season 5, Episode 8 "Boy Scoutz n' the Hood."

"Twenty dollars? Oh, I wanted a peanut."
"With twenty dollars, you can get many peanuts!"
"Explain."
"Money can be exchanged for goods and services."
"Woo-hoo!"
 
C

Cannon Goose

Member
Lisa: "Yeah, it's great! We have pony rides, sing-a-longs, apple bobbing, apple picking, apple everything!"
Skinner: "Ah, you forgot apple bobbing."
Lisa: "No, I didn't!"

I'm not sure I can even fully articulate why this is so funny to me. I know that humour often dies when you try and dissect it, but why the writers would even think to include this exchange is just... I can't explain it. It's not even a joke and it's such an inane comment by Skinner that is immediately refuted by Lisa. It's not even that funny but just thinking about the creation of the scene is more what gets me.
 
I

ironjoe989

Member
My absolute favorite, even though it makes me a little sick to my stomach, it's when Homer goes to clown school and then does an opening at a Krusty Burger. A Hamburglar type character comes to steal the burgers, but Homer thinks he's real. Naturally Homer attacks him and beat him so badly it leads one child to remark "stop he's already dead!."

Homer is clearly beating him within an inch of his life, so I find it deeply unsettling, but the fact that Homer thinks he's real, gets me everytime.
 
K

King Tubby

Member
920185.jpg


Now, this technology is new to me, but...I'm pretty sure that's Homer Simpson in the oven, rotating slowly. His body temperature has risen to over 400 degrees - he's literally stewing in his own juices!
 
T

TAJ

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
The lesson is "Never try.".
 
G

ggx2ac

Member
Deep Space Homer - Planet of the Apes scene.

Reporter: Isn't it dangerous to send unqualified civilians into space?

Homer: I'll field this one. The only danger is if they send us to that terrible planet of the Apes. Wait a minute, statue of liberty.

*Gasp*

That was our planet!

You maniacs!

*Pounds fist*

You blew it up!

Damn you!

Damn you all to hell!

*sobs*
 
R

Rockin' Ranger

Member
Marge: Why do you have so many bowling balls?
Homer: Ah, I'm not gonna lie to you, Marge. So long.



My other favorite was when Homer and Bart are making a prank call to Marge and after they hang up and it cuts back to show them in the Flander's living room where Ned, Maude, and Reverend Lovejoy are sitting.

Ned Flanders: Playing a prankeroo, hey?
Homer: I was having a private conversation with my wife in the guise of Chad Sexington. Do you mind?
 
B

bathsalts

Member
Lionel Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, what did you and your husband do after you were ejected from the restaurant.
Marge: We... pretty much went straight home.
Lionel Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, you're under oath.
Marge: We drove around until 3 AM looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant.
Lionel Hutz: And when you couldn't find one?
Marge: We went... fishing.
Lionel Hutz: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, does this sounds like a man who had "all he could eat"?
Overweight Juror: No, that could have been me!

The whole episode is greatness though.
 
P

Patrick Bateman

Member
Chief Wiggum: [reading a tombstone, talks into his "radio"] Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R Dewoh. Uh, better start with Greektown.
Joe Friday: That's Homer J Simpson, chief. You're reading it upside down.
Chief Wiggum: Uh, cancel that APB. But, uh, bring back some of them, uh, gyros.
Joe Friday: Uh, chief, you're talking into your wallet.
[Chief Wiggum's wallet flips open]


Still makes me laugh so much.
 
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