Old Man Gaf here (I'll be 45 next week)... these are some of my observations after having recently gone out with over 50 women in their late 30s/early 40s...
Obviously, circumstantial and specific to my experiences, but this is from a decent sample size of over 50 different women who I've gone out with since my last serious relationship, which was just a little over 2 years ago. Previous to my last relationship, I had only gone out with women in their 20s and early 30s, none of them previously married or with kids, so this is all new-ish to me. Little less than half of them are from online, the rest from mutual acquaintances and/or through work and situations. For reference, I'm in the Orange County area, though a few of them were from LA as well.
- They all have pets. ALL of them, zero exceptions! Some cats, some both, but mostly dogs. Of course it's not at all weird that they would have pets, but it's a little weird that they ALL have pets.
- Of the ones that have children, they either have 1 or 2,
never 3 or more. It was explained to me that being a single mother to 3 is
exponentially more difficult than 2, so many will hold onto a bad marriage until the eldest child is out of the house. And those women are a bit older than those I've been dating.
- As with most people, the older the woman, the more life experiences she has and the more interesting she is. Makes me realize how uninteresting many younger women had been and how some of them tried to make up for it with partying or whatever.
- These experiences can also lead to issues in compatibility. When you're younger, you're not as set in you ways and you're still developing your way. After you're more set in your ways, it's more difficult to break out of it with someone who might be different. You/they can, but it involves a lot of intentional work that usually doesn't seem worth it when you're older.
- Best sex I've had has been with previously married women in their early 40s. One word: voracious!
- The ones that have never been married have some strange hang-ups, almost all of them stemming from some deep-seated trauma, either from their childhood, or more recently. For example, one woman couldn't drive at night because of a car accident she was in 10 years ago, and that's a tamer one. Of course we all have hang-ups, but I've noticed that it's far more pronounced in the women over 40 who have never been married.
- When they're looking for a relationship rather than a hook-up, they will hold back being physical at for least a few dates. If they do much more than just kiss after only one or two dates, don't expect to see them again. Younger women did this too, but the difference comes in being more proactive in building emotional intimacy before becoming physically intimate. Which is a good thing!
- Logistics and timing are far more important when you're older than when you're young. Distance, time, schedules, life-stage, etc. all have a far bigger impact on a relationship when you're middle aged than when you're younger. These have been the main reasons why most of these women didn't pan out for me (in addition to just not being compatible)
- This being a videogame forum, I thought I'd add that not a single one of these women plays videogames - not even on her phone. It's just not a thing. And the few who have sons who play videogames wished that their son didn't. It's just not a thing in their world, like
at all.
There's more, but that's all I have time for rattling off right now. Just a glimpse into your dating future if you're not getting married before then.
As for me, I've been able to narrow things down to 3 front-runners! One 36 (way hot), one 40 (live around the corner), one 45 (we click well) - none of them previously married or with kids, which helps with logistics. Though the 45 year old one lives a little far, and has some hang-ups, but the sex is
amazing...
