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You ever have a friendship ruined over money? $145

C.Mongler

Member
I would never lend money that I couldn't live without literally never seeing again. I also would never lend money to someone who I wasn't 100% confident would give me a straight answer the first time or who I wouldn't feel completely comfortable going to their door and bashing on it until they paid up.

But mostly I just don't lend money to people ever because 9 times out of 10 it turns into some dumbass goose chase like this.
 

SpecX

Member
I have over much less. In school I had a friend that would always be short for lunch and stuff. I loaned her 5 bucks, then another 5 a few weeks later and then even a 3rd time. She always swore up and down she would pay me back. It never bothered me till I really needed the money and she refused to repay me. I had another girl get involved, not to fight but talk some sense into her. Ruined a 7 year friendship over 15 bucks.
 

shandy706

Member
1. Don't lend anyone money...ever...EVER...and expect it back.

2. If you do lend someone money, don't lend them enough that it bothers you. I bought tickets for 7 friends to the Panthers/Texans game and 3 of them didn't pay me back. It's only a couple hundred dollars, so I'm not worried about it. If the amount is something you would REALLY need to take care of your own expenses, or that you'll be upset about getting back, DON'T DO IT.

The guys I bought tickets for knew the others paid me, and said they'd try at one point, but they may be in a situation where they can't just throw cash at me. I'll just move on and it doesn't hurt our friendship at all.
 
I once gave my friend/roommate $180 so he could make rent. I told him to just pay me back whenever he could (I had quite a bit of money at the time). He proceeds to quit his job because he "wasn't feeling it" and got super behind on rent anyways and had to borrow from his younger sister (he was 22, she was 17) to help pay rent, and eventually he got kicked out.

I ain't ever getting that $180 back. Lesson learned.
 

siddx

Magnificent Eager Mighty Brilliantly Erect Registereduser
I lent $400 to a close friend for rent money years ago, he kept coming up with excuses to not pay me back and initially I was pissed, until I asked around and found out he had lost his job and wrecked his car. He needed the money just to barely stay afloat. I'd rather be $400 poorer than see a person I care about struggle and lose their home because life decided to shit them.

I guess the point is people don't always avoid paying back money because they are assholes or greedy, sometimes life is just a raging cunt.

Edit: of course on the flip side I later lent $800 to a friend I wasn't as close with to help pay her rent and because I wasn't as close I actually drew up a contact that specified when she had to pay me back and it listed payment plans she could follow. She of course vanished soon after so yeah, sometimes it's the people that are raging cunts.
 
I lent $5000 to my cousin last year.

Maybe he will pay me back, maybe not.

I can take the hit, but he's made no mention of it.

He's not a bad guy at all, and I'm pretty sure he will pay me back in time.

In general, it's best not to lend friends and family money, but of course every circumstance is different.

Never lend someone money unless you can afford to lose that same amount of money. Lent money should always be considered a loss until it is paid back.
 
I still have all my friends, I've also never lent them money. One time a close friend was broke and needed about $400 to pay some back bills. I told him he could either sell me something valuable of his, or I'd give him $400 in exchange for $400 worth of work around my house. He didn't want either (because honestly, he's a lazy dude who always wants the easy solution), instead he went to another friend who was more of a pushover, who gave him $400. He never paid him back, and after about a year or so of BS they stopped talking for good.

Even worse guys, never lend money to family. If you give money, always do it with the intention of never expecting it back. Even then, don't. Sometimes the only way people learn is figuring out life for themselves.
 

Kaako

Felium Defensor
I've been in this situation plenty of times and was way too trusting of people initially. I knew the risks of letting them borrow the money, and still hoped they would keep their word and honor paying their debt in a timely manner. I hoped for too much it seemed, in most cases based on life experiences. Live and learn, I guess.

A part of me doesn't like this world shaping you to be much less trusting of people when it comes to this stuff in general.
 

Nephtis

Member
I have a policy of not lending money if I can't live without it. I lent a friend of mine $150 because he needed to pay for his college books. He made an honest effort at paying me back, but he was struggling so I told him to keep the money and not worry about it. I gave him another $200 and helped him buy groceries because I knew he wasn't eating well.

A few years later I had a depression and didn't go out with my friends. Just wanted to be locked in my room the entire time. When this friend heard about it he got on my case and kept bugging me until I agreed to start going out. He wouldn't let me pay for shit even though he was still not doing great financially - and took me to my favorite places, had me go to the movies with friends etc.

In the end he didn't pay me back what he owed (I think he only spent like $70 on me) but his actions more than made up for it. In fact I feel I owe him, in super greatful to him.
 

mokeyjoe

Member
I never lend money to friends. I just give it. If they want to give it back that's up to them. I'll learn something about them either way.
 

Kenstar

Member
offer payment plans
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Swipe their CC on square and set it to reccuring invoice for x weeks until its paid
They lose nothing and they can't accidentally forget to pay you, and who's going to bitch about 10 a week repayment terms
 

Crayons

Banned
uhh wha?

I dont consider someone a close friend unless we've been through some shit together and/or I've known em for ~3+ years
things moved really quickly with us. We went from not knowing eachother to knowing eachother really well within 3 months. He even lived with me for a bit
 
Oh yeh.

Halfway through a web development project, the friend I was working with claimed we'd never agreed to tell the client I was involved. I found out he'd been passing off my work as his own, he looked me in the eye and denied what we'd agreed to a couple of months before.

After a few months of equally dishonest behaviour, he'd done very little work. Literally nothing he could actually show. I contacted him and gave him an offer. I would stop insisting my name be presented to the client, I'd let him pass all my work off as his own, /if/ we knuckled down and got this done within the next month (which was well within our capabilities). I just wanted it to be done, and to get paid.

He told me I had no right to make demands, and that it would be done when it's done. He wasn't going to rush, and I wasn't getting my name on it either way. This basically meant I was never getting paid. He was never going to finish it, he wouldn't tell me about every payment he received. It was clear he wanted the money and the authorship.

I ended the friendship and project there. I have no time for this kind of dishonesty, especially when it comes with apparent righteous delusion.

He reads this forum sometimes, I wonder what his reaction would be if he read this. I'm almost certain he'd scoff and think "Zakalwe is still so full of shit".

Sometimes people let you down in a way that can't be recovered from.
Haha, I remember this thread.

uhh wha?

I dont consider someone a close friend unless we've been through some shit together and/or I've known em for ~3+ years

Lol, that got me pondering as well. Even 3 years isn't enough to call someone a "close friend" for me. You're a friend at 3 but to be close man we need to have known each other for some real long time.

A woman I dated off Okcupid stole my copy of Battleborn sucks to be her but I quit talking to her over it.

Battleborn as in The Killers? I liked that album even though I heard Brandon Flower saying himself that he thought it wasn't very good.
 

Horns

Member
I just assume I am not getting it back when lending money. Not that I lend money often, but small amounts like $150 is nothing to get worked up over.
 

Voidwolf

Member
I'll spot small amounts of cash with my closest friends because I know they'll return the favor, like we'll buy each other stuff to eat when we hang out. Only time we've loaned each other large amounts of money was when we drove out to Orlando for Star Wars Celebration this year but we settled all our tabs the day after we got back home. Other than that I only lend money to my parents and sisters although my older sister is just the worst when it comes to paying back. It took her like almost 3 years to pay back like $200.
 

Gloggins

Member
No not ruined but I wouldn't do it again.

I bought my closest friend a replacement phone for £270.00 after his bricked in early 2015. He was living in London, a notoriously expensive as fuck place to live. He offered to pay me back £20-30 a month.

Due to circumstances, he then got a job interview in my city (he'd been wanting to live here for years). I paid for him to stay in a hotel room for the interview. This cost a couple hundred £ - I paid for this without telling him first and with no expectation to be paid back, just to help him out.

He got the job and once he moved up the country, we rented a flat together. No mention of paying me back for the phone was made. He had taken out a loan to cover the moving costs of deposit, rent, etc. So I didn't bring it up. I had to buy a new phone for myself in October 2015 at which point I asked to be paid back the full £270.00. He could only give me £200.00 from his savings.

So we're basically square in regards to the £270.00. I'm a little surprised he never started to pay me back a small amount monthly seeing as I also paid his hotel costs. if I didn't ask to be paid back in Oct 2015 I wonder if it ever would have happened. He's a great friend and the kind of guy who is always willing to help you out but still...

Long boring story short - best not to lend money except to fully trustworthy immediate family members.
 
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