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You ever have a friendship ruined over money? $145
- Thread starter rackham
- Start date
You learnt a lesson everyone should learn OP, that if you give friends or family (especially family) money, give them the money with the expectation that you're never going to ever see that money back again.
You avoid a lot of disappointment and conflict this way, but you also get a nice surprise from time to time when some of the friends or family you gave money to actually take it upon themselves to give it back, even though you never asked them to.
You avoid a lot of disappointment and conflict this way, but you also get a nice surprise from time to time when some of the friends or family you gave money to actually take it upon themselves to give it back, even though you never asked them to.
Frankie Williamson
Member
Where do you live, Rapture?
rackham
Member
oh fuck off. He said he would pay me last week and I didn't even try getting a hold of him until a day or two ago. I called ONE time and he responded with his usual "I'll be at your house at this time when I'm out of work." That's the only reason I kept blowing up his phone with calls after. I need to know why he keeps wasting my time instead of just saying he doesn't have it right now. He is treating me like genuine shit
If you had fucking read my posts, you would realize it's about more than the money. The dude is constantly having me wait at my house, or by my phone at certain times and hours claiming he will be there to give me the money. If he said he didn't have it and didn't waste my fucking time, I wouldn't consider "burning his life to the ground" over $145.
By the way, telling his parents isn't burning his life to the ground.
Some of you need to get better friends
I have loaned out money and gotten them back with no problem. Having said that, I don't do it often, and if I have friends who is a dire need of money, I usually tend to just give him small chunk of what he/she is asking and I don't ask them back
I have loaned out money and gotten them back with no problem. Having said that, I don't do it often, and if I have friends who is a dire need of money, I usually tend to just give him small chunk of what he/she is asking and I don't ask them back
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
That's why I usually give money.
If I wanted to lend money I'd start a bank, and collect interest, not ruined friendships.
If I wanted to lend money I'd start a bank, and collect interest, not ruined friendships.
-Stranger-
Junior Member
Never ever lend money to friends or untrustworthy family members.
-Stranger-
Junior Member
Wasn't so much as a friend, as a friend of a friend, we were on good terms. But he did owe money, which I didn't even really care about (Cant even remember how much, $100 maybe?), I'd rather have remained an acquaintance.
But he knew he owed it to me, but rather than even confront me about it, he basically stopped showing up if I was involved, I assume because he figured I'd hit him up for it, or he felt guilty about it or whatever. I honestly didn't even care.
But he knew he owed it to me, but rather than even confront me about it, he basically stopped showing up if I was involved, I assume because he figured I'd hit him up for it, or he felt guilty about it or whatever. I honestly didn't even care.
The things Bronson would do for $5.
-Stranger-
Junior Member
My girlfriends younger sister is a bitch.
Constantly asking for money when she never pays back.
Wouldn't lend to us either(Not that we would ask)
So selfish.
Never again
Constantly asking for money when she never pays back.
Wouldn't lend to us either(Not that we would ask)
So selfish.
Never again
Never ruined a friendship over it but one friend when I've bought tickets for events in a group he has always taken an absolute age to pay me back whereas the rest pay back pretty much immediately. I'll happily do it for the rest but not for him due to the hassle of trying to get money off him.
I don't think I would lend money to a friend if they asked for it though, I have never been asked so far.
2 of my friends fell out when we were in school over £2 I think it was haha, he paid her back in 1p coins which she wasn't happy with.
I don't think I would lend money to a friend if they asked for it though, I have never been asked so far.
2 of my friends fell out when we were in school over £2 I think it was haha, he paid her back in 1p coins which she wasn't happy with.
TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared
Member
I've loaned my friends tons of money over the past 8 years or so (I made a thread about it I think) and one guy just continued to borrow and borrow, and I kept lending it (foolishly) cos I'm an idiot and feel like I constantly have to chase people to get them to like me at all. I've basically written that whole friendship off now though.
openrob
Member
This is key.
I have a friend, who basically I realised wasn't worth my time over £40. The thing is, when I was calling him, etc just to hang out he avoided me. He let the money get in the way.
I have another friend who I've lent money to and still hasn't paid me back, but it didn't get in the way of my friendship because our friendship isn't based on half a days wage. If I'm not stressing about getting it back, I see it as helping a friend.
Marky Mark
Member
I have a friend just like this. It got to the point that I don't bother offering any more and I'm not sure where the cut off is so we might get dinner and he'll just straight up pay the $80 for me no questions.
yup
let highschool friend move in when i needed flatmate. felt sorry for guy cause of family issues and a friend of mine just dumped him for being clingy.
he earned 3 times as much as me and aside from eveything annoying about living with someone who hadnt lived by himself, i had to ask him to pay rent when it was due. he ended up moving back with his mum and since he couldnt remember if he had paid me, he opted to not pay me a weeks rent... 120
i was like ok man see you later, good luck and whatever
let highschool friend move in when i needed flatmate. felt sorry for guy cause of family issues and a friend of mine just dumped him for being clingy.
he earned 3 times as much as me and aside from eveything annoying about living with someone who hadnt lived by himself, i had to ask him to pay rent when it was due. he ended up moving back with his mum and since he couldnt remember if he had paid me, he opted to not pay me a weeks rent... 120
i was like ok man see you later, good luck and whatever
CyclopsRock
Member
It's all very well saying "don't lend to friends" but clearly the problem here isn't the $145, it's the way the dude's behaved towards someone who's meant to be his friend. It's not money that ruined the friendship, it was his behaviour.
Subpar Scrub
Banned
This is unfortunately true. I once lent like $120 to someone who said they'd pay me back the next week and I didn't get paid back until 3 months later. Was at a bachelors event where $120 was the entry and he forgot his wallet. Throughout those months I was constantly reminding him and he'd still instagram-story himself drinking out in expensive clubs most weekends. Like, that sucks man.
Paid back and we're good now, but I'd never offer to cover him again. Also dropped a plan to move in with him, because that's a massive red flag.
Lesson learned though!
Wesley-Sigma
Member
Sadly, I have friends asking to borrow money quite frequently.
All I can tell them is that I do not risk friendships over that and they are better off looking for alternatives elsewhere.
All I can tell them is that I do not risk friendships over that and they are better off looking for alternatives elsewhere.
rackham
Member
What's up bro!
ZackieChan
Member
I feel like there's a lot of this going on with OP's situation. The aggressive attitude is only making it worse.
$150 is really enough to run a friendship? Probably weren't very good friends in the first place, then.
ClosingADoor
Member
I wouldn't care that much about the money, but that he is straight up lying to you and avoiding you is him ruining your friendship.
KillerMan91
Member
This thread makes me realize how good friends I have. I have absolutely no problem loaning some money to my pals or they have loaning to me. Always get my money back. I guess this is advantage of being friends from childhood.
rackham
Member
Aggressive? What's aggressive about him telling me he'll be at my house late at night and not show up? Or not show up the next day after work like he said? What's aggressive about him wasting my time and treating me like an idiot? I'm not the one who set a time frame. These are his time frames and his promises to me. I didn't tell him to pay it or die. I didn't even say he had to pay it back in full immediately. He could do it periodically.
I didn't want to make his business known but he used to be into cocaine and supposedly he stopped a while ago cause has a state job but the way he's acting makes me feel like he's using again.
I only loaned him money because he said he needed it for gas, gift for his girlfriend and money for food to hold him over until he got paid- which was quite a while ago.
I was like "ok man. I can do that for you. I don't want to see you struggle"
oneils
Member
Holy shit, I'm glad I did not enter that thread. This shit is infuriating. This is disgusting.
My "friend" who I worked with for almost two years needed a loan to help pay his rent. He was asking for an amount of $400 and upwards. I turned him down three times, each conversation becoming increasingly more uncomfortable. I hated that he put me in this position.
Cut to a month later and he managed to get the funds needed. But that was pretty much it for our friendship. We went from talking a few times a week; he would discuss family life, seek advice from me etc... To not talking at all.
I guess he feels insulted? Or something, that I didn't come through for him. But I don't do loans over $100 as a personal policy. It's a shame he felt so jilted to the point where he felt he had to end our friendship.. Oh well life goes on. Friends don't ask friends to pay their rent.
Cut to a month later and he managed to get the funds needed. But that was pretty much it for our friendship. We went from talking a few times a week; he would discuss family life, seek advice from me etc... To not talking at all.
I guess he feels insulted? Or something, that I didn't come through for him. But I don't do loans over $100 as a personal policy. It's a shame he felt so jilted to the point where he felt he had to end our friendship.. Oh well life goes on. Friends don't ask friends to pay their rent.
I get the situation is frustrating but Christ man, you need to chill out.
If it's REALLY about more than just $145 and it's about trust as you so say, it's better to just write the thing off as a loss and never talk to him again.
Man, I wouldn't call some people in this thread real friends. Never borrow money?
Never been in the situation where you went out with friends and there was no closeby ATM so you lend them money for food/drinks or vice versa?
Never had issues with that though sometimes persons need a reminder, guess some people are more forgetful (a friend of mine even forgot he borrowed me 50 bucks and was surprised when I paid him back).
Heck i even got money bavk I borrowed out for friends to buy drugs.
Anyway, A former roommate of mine who I considered beinh a friend (we hung out on a daily basis) fucked me over because of money. He started sublenting his room and got the cash from me and the sublenter but never paid the landlord, which ended in me getting kicked out.
He owed the money to the landlord because I wasn't on the lease but not paying the rent even though you are getting it from 2 people is a real dick move.
Never been in the situation where you went out with friends and there was no closeby ATM so you lend them money for food/drinks or vice versa?
Never had issues with that though sometimes persons need a reminder, guess some people are more forgetful (a friend of mine even forgot he borrowed me 50 bucks and was surprised when I paid him back).
Heck i even got money bavk I borrowed out for friends to buy drugs.
Anyway, A former roommate of mine who I considered beinh a friend (we hung out on a daily basis) fucked me over because of money. He started sublenting his room and got the cash from me and the sublenter but never paid the landlord, which ended in me getting kicked out.
He owed the money to the landlord because I wasn't on the lease but not paying the rent even though you are getting it from 2 people is a real dick move.
Marky Mark
Member
Yes, this is basically the kicker.
BeforeU
Oft hope is born when all is forlorn.
You clearly didnt get the point. This is how problems starts with money matters which most people dont see it coming. When we were in high school $5 was a days allowance today $5 is nothing for us. Value of money will keep going down doesnt mean it shouldn't be accounted for. Today its $5 parking and tomorrow its $15 for pizza. Where do you stop? Value of dollar is different for everyone. Not all my friends make same money. He paid a $1 for me, i will make sure and give him. I am glad we have decided to put down every little thing and divide it equally.
A real place where we pay each other our share for everything.
I don't know, it is quite usual for me and my friends to sometimes just pay for the other. You just try to keep it fair so that everyone pays for everyone sometimes.
Small differences in the exact amount are not important.
CampbellzSoup
Member
I lend NO ONE money it really brings out the worst in everyone:
PeskyToaster
Member
You should only loan money you're ready to never see again. Can't expect it to always come back.
DarkJediKnight
Member
Yes.
I don't regret it because my friend was an asshole. I think you see people's true colors when you live with them.
We went to a ski resort called Blue Mountain north of Toronto. He invited a bunch of his other friends and drank and messed the place. It was under my reservations. We all agreed to split the cost. But when it came to pay, he refused to pay.
We haven't spoken since.
I don't regret it because my friend was an asshole. I think you see people's true colors when you live with them.
We went to a ski resort called Blue Mountain north of Toronto. He invited a bunch of his other friends and drank and messed the place. It was under my reservations. We all agreed to split the cost. But when it came to pay, he refused to pay.
We haven't spoken since.
BeforeU
Oft hope is born when all is forlorn.
Just too much work to split and pay at the counter separately every place we go. One person taps card, done deal.
15 years ago I borrowed 40 to army "buddy" when I was young and naive.
He has not payed back. Even 15 years later this still pisses me off.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbVZASjxxBY
He has not payed back. Even 15 years later this still pisses me off.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbVZASjxxBY
Oh yeh.
Halfway through a web development project, the friend I was working with claimed we'd never agreed to tell the client I was involved. I found out he'd been passing off my work as his own, he looked me in the eye and denied what we'd agreed to a couple of months before.
After a few months of equally dishonest behaviour, he'd done very little work. Literally nothing he could actually show. I contacted him and gave him an offer. I would stop insisting my name be presented to the client, I'd let him pass all my work off as his own, /if/ we knuckled down and got this done within the next month (which was well within our capabilities). I just wanted it to be done, and to get paid.
He told me I had no right to make demands, and that it would be done when it's done. He wasn't going to rush, and I wasn't getting my name on it either way. This basically meant I was never getting paid. He was never going to finish it, he wouldn't tell me about every payment he received. It was clear he wanted the money and the authorship.
I ended the friendship and project there. I have no time for this kind of dishonesty, especially when it comes with apparent righteous delusion.
He reads this forum sometimes, I wonder what his reaction would be if he read this. I'm almost certain he'd scoff and think "Zakalwe is still so full of shit".
Sometimes people let you down in a way that can't be recovered from.
Halfway through a web development project, the friend I was working with claimed we'd never agreed to tell the client I was involved. I found out he'd been passing off my work as his own, he looked me in the eye and denied what we'd agreed to a couple of months before.
After a few months of equally dishonest behaviour, he'd done very little work. Literally nothing he could actually show. I contacted him and gave him an offer. I would stop insisting my name be presented to the client, I'd let him pass all my work off as his own, /if/ we knuckled down and got this done within the next month (which was well within our capabilities). I just wanted it to be done, and to get paid.
He told me I had no right to make demands, and that it would be done when it's done. He wasn't going to rush, and I wasn't getting my name on it either way. This basically meant I was never getting paid. He was never going to finish it, he wouldn't tell me about every payment he received. It was clear he wanted the money and the authorship.
I ended the friendship and project there. I have no time for this kind of dishonesty, especially when it comes with apparent righteous delusion.
He reads this forum sometimes, I wonder what his reaction would be if he read this. I'm almost certain he'd scoff and think "Zakalwe is still so full of shit".
Sometimes people let you down in a way that can't be recovered from.