Sorry in advance for my long winded post, but I feel the need to share, and I'm not currently discussing my dating life with people I know in real life. Please feel free to ignore this post.
Earlier in the week I asked the girl I had been talking to out for coffee. I wanted to start casual to not put too much pressure on anything (for myself as much as for her) and we could just see how it goes. But as we continued to talk between the time I asked her out and the date, I was feeling a lot more confident about the date and her interest in me, to the point where I was almost regretting only asking her out for coffee. She seemed to feel the same, as she texted me asking if we were "just doing coffee." Not wanting to seem overly eager (I totally was though) I said we would play it by ear, but I was up for something after if it went well. Fortunately, the coffee shop we were going to was in an arts district, so there were a lot of quirky shops and things nearby (she picked that coffee shop for that exact reason). We were meeting up at 5PM due to her working the late shift that week (until 6 AM the morning of our date), so I figured it would be pretty natural to transition into getting dinner at the very least.
Anyway, we met up yesterday and she was heavier than she looked in pictures. I knew to expect that to a certain extent, but since she already looked a bit heavy in the pictures I had seen of her (her pictures looked cute though), and they didn't seem to employ myspace angles that I thought it wouldn't be the case here. I don't look down on people for being overweight (I just recently lost a lot of weight, so I know how it feels and I still view myself as overweight even though I'm technically not anymore), but right off the bat I wasn't feeling attracted to her in the way I had been prior to that. At the coffee shop we ended up sitting outside since there wasn't a lot of seating indoors, which ended up being a bad idea since the sun was in her eyes, it was a little bit hot, and there was a weird smell nearby that wafted over when the wind blew. On top of that, the conversation wasn't really that exciting at that point. Not that we had trouble talking to each other, or laughing at each other's jokes, we just felt less connected than we had over text. Needless to say, we rushed through our coffee so we could get out of there.
But I wasn't about to call it quits so soon, as I still felt there was a connection there if we could get past the initial in person meeting awkwardness. So we walked around the area and checked out the local shops and art galleries. This was a much better time, and we had a lot of laughs and shared bits about ourselves in between. Then we got some dinner and had some nice conversation and some more laughs.
After dinner, I was still not feeling like we had quite connected (we were having fun and getting to know each other, but I was still feeling a bit reserved), which was unfortunate because from our conversations prior to meeting it really felt like we were connecting. But I was still holding out hope, so when she asked if I wanted to stick around or end the date there, I told her I would like to keep hanging out with her if that was alright and asked what she would like to do. She suggested we check out some of the live music that was starting up now that it was night time. We watched a rock band for a few songs, but it was too loud to talk and she wasn't really into it so we found a couple of guys playing blues and sat on a bench across the way to listen and talk.
At this point, we started talking about anything and everything, and we really finally connected. After a while, the music became distracting to our conversation, so we found a quieter place to talk. At some point during this period, the attraction finally came back. Just sitting there and talking to her and watching her laugh and smile, which she did constantly, I was reminded that her smile was what attracted me to her in the first place. And beyond that she was sweet and fun, and didn't seem put off by my awkwardness at all. We ended up talking until 12:30 AM, at which point we both agreed that we needed to call it as I had a 45 minute drive home. Before I left we both agreed that we had a good time and would like to do this again, and she suggested next time we go someplace closer to me. She texted me about 40 minutes after I left to tell me to text her when I got home so she knew I got there safely, and when I did we texted a bit more before bed.
All in all, I think it was a pretty good first date even if it had a bit of a rough start. I definitely plan on seeing her again. We're very different in a lot of ways, but we also have a lot in common, so I think there's definitely potential there. There were a couple of, I don't want to say red flags as that is probably too strong a word, but I guess concerns that I had, but nothing so severe to prevent me from trying again. I just hope that on the next date I feel attraction and connection right away.
