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Armaros
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:23 PM)
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https://www.bloomberg.com/news/featu...ng-the-squeeze

But after the product hit the market, some investors were surprised to discover a much cheaper alternative: You can squeeze the Juicero bags with your bare hands. Two backers said the final device was bulkier than what was originally pitched and that they were puzzled to find that customers could achieve similar results without it. Bloomberg performed its own press test, pitting a Juicero machine against a reporter’s grip. The experiment found that squeezing the bag yields nearly the same amount of juice just as quickly—and in some cases, faster—than using the device

A 400 dollar machine that just squeezes juice bags into a cup, that can be done by hand. Typical silicon valley stuff.


Squeeze me if old.

Edit: BTW you can only buy the bags if you buy the juicer AND they have been encoded with DRM that wont let the machine squeeze bags that are not-valid.

Yes really.


Added Gif of comparison
Last edited by Armaros; 04-19-2017 at 11:12 PM.
h1nch
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:24 PM)
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viejY6UZ5Bk
Viewt
Men, listen up!
(04-19-2017, 05:25 PM)
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Yeah, but where am I supposed to get a hand?
komplanen
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:26 PM)
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Originally Posted by h1nch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viejY6UZ5Bk

God damn you, Simpsons!
Lagspike_exe
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:26 PM)
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Internet connected juicer? We've reached peak Silicon Valley.
HvySky
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:26 PM)
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Originally Posted by h1nch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viejY6UZ5Bk

Was expecting this. Satisfied.
capitalCORN
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:27 PM)
I want figures. Exactly how myopic do you have to be to drop big dollars on a project like this?
Mr. F
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:28 PM)
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Originally Posted by Lagspike_exe

Internet connected juicer? We've reached peak Silicon Valley.

CES this year had a connected hair brush iirc
Kurdel
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:28 PM)
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Amazing
IronRaven
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:29 PM)
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Doug Evans, the company’s founder, would compare himself with Steve Jobs in his pursuit of juicing perfection.

In an interview with technology website Recode, he likened his work to the invention of a mainstream personal computer by Apple’s Jobs.


Christ. This guy is really full of himself.
Armaros
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:30 PM)
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Originally Posted by IronRaven

Christ. This guy is really full of himself.

Reminds me of Theranos.

All of these types worship Jobs.
iavi
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:31 PM)
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So essentially, the thing is just a bagged juice dispenser?
The Technomancer
card-carrying scientician
(04-19-2017, 05:31 PM)
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Christ so many hardware startups with absolutely no sense of pricing scale. Laughably dumb
Alcotholic
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:31 PM)
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Wait. Is that just juice in a bag or is there more to it? Can't you just go out and buy expensive bottles of organic fresh juiced juice?
ezekial45
I have assigned to you one day for each year its punishment will last.
(04-19-2017, 05:32 PM)
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Originally Posted by IronRaven

Christ. This guy is really full of himself.

SV is filled with people like him.
ReAxion
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:32 PM)
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i'm glad the VCs got ripped off.
sixteen-bit
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:32 PM)
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This is hilarious.
IronRaven
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:33 PM)
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Originally Posted by ezekial45

SV is filled with people like him.


As someone who lives in Silicon Valley I know this all too well. :/
Last edited by IronRaven; 04-19-2017 at 05:38 PM.
Polk
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:33 PM)

Originally Posted by Alcotholic

Wait. Is that just juice in a bag or is there more to it? Can't you just go out and buy expensive bottles of organic fresh juiced juice?

Nope
It just subscription service of juice bags with fancy 400$ dispencer.
Darth Pinche
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:33 PM)
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So $400 for basically a robot version of this:

Armaros
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:34 PM)
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Originally Posted by Alcotholic

Wait. Is that just juice in a bag or is there more to it? Can't you just go out and buy expensive bottles of organic fresh juiced juice?

It's bags of cut-up fruit or vegetable that get squeezed by the machine (or your hands)

And you need the buy the machine to even be allowed to buy the bags.
The Technomancer
card-carrying scientician
(04-19-2017, 05:34 PM)
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Must

not

get

angry

about

investment

community
Rembrandt
that PS4 privilege tho
(04-19-2017, 05:36 PM)
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Originally Posted by Darth Pinche

So $400 for basically a robot version of this:

Wtf is this? This is not the packaging I'm used to.

This isn't the keuring of juices.
slit
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:37 PM)
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$400 for a juicer just because it connects to the net and checks if the product is expired even though the expiration date is labeled on the packet itself. You can get one from Black and Decker for $40 and I guarantee you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
capitalCORN
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:37 PM)

Originally Posted by Rembrandt

Wtf is this? This is not the packaging I'm used to.

This isn't the keuring of juices.

It's something that poors denigrate themselves with. Come now, concern yourself no more.

Originally Posted by slit

$400 for a juicer just because it connects to the net and checks if the product is expired even though the expiration date is labeled on the packet itself. You can get one from Black and Decker for $40 and I guarantee you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

But how oppressed were the people that farmed the produce in the bag? I want receipts for suffering, damnit!
Bubba_Sparks
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:38 PM)
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Pathetic lol!
Katcrawler
Junior Member
(04-19-2017, 05:38 PM)
You can't make this shit up. Why do i need an internet connected juicer, WTF!
Akuun
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:39 PM)
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This is the definition of over-engineered garbage lol.
SheepyGuy
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:39 PM)
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Originally Posted by Armaros

It's bags of cut-up fruit or vegetable that get squeezed by the machine (or your hands)

And you need the buy the machine to even be allowed to buy the bags.

Couldn't you just buy fruit?
Armaros
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:40 PM)
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Originally Posted by SheepyGuy

Couldn't you just buy fruit?

Welcome to silicon valley.
Darth Pinche
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:40 PM)
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Originally Posted by SheepyGuy

Couldn't you just buy fruit?

But this has electrolytes!

We are getting closer and closer to the prophet Mike Judge's vision of our future.
Old Gimlet Eyes
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:41 PM)
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Easily one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read. $120 million invested in a piece of shit juicer that you have to order fruit bags for, the fuck.
Al-ibn Kermit
Junior Member
(04-19-2017, 05:41 PM)

Originally Posted by Akuun

This is the definition of over-engineered garbage lol.

That's an insult to engineers. They'd come up with Wizz bang fancy features beyond "bag squishing".

This is the fault of sales peeps.
louiedog
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:42 PM)
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Originally Posted by slit

$400 for a juicer just because it connects to the net and checks if the product is expired even though the expiration date is labeled on the packet itself. You can get one from Black and Decker for $40 and I guarantee you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

You'll notice the difference when you try to clean it. I stayed with some family who did a lot of juicing and I was amazed at how annoying that was and how many parts were just taking up the drying rack every morning.

I still think this machine is stupid though.

I wonder how many of these health conscious people are also environmentally conscious and how they convince themselves throwing out a plastic pouch every time they drink juice makes sense.
norm9
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:43 PM)
Should have sold when facebook offered 100 million for it.
barber
Junior Member
(04-19-2017, 05:43 PM)
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Originally Posted by Al-ibn Kermit

That's an insult to engineers. They'd come up with Wizz bang fancy features beyond "bag squishing".

This is the fault of sales peeps.

Being proud that your machine has 400 custom parts hurted me as an engineer...
slit
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:45 PM)
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Originally Posted by louiedog

You'll notice the difference when you try to clean it. I stayed with some family who did a lot of juicing and I was amazed at how annoying that was and how many parts were just taking up the drying rack every morning.

I still think this machine is stupid though.

Well if cleanup is that big of a concern squeezing the packet into a cup is the cleanest of all. Squeeze and toss it.
Suikoguy
I whinny my fervor lowly, for his length is not as great as those of the Hylian war stallions
(04-19-2017, 05:45 PM)
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This is an invention you would see on MST3K.

Edit: Only worse and without the joke.
Last edited by Suikoguy; 04-19-2017 at 05:53 PM.
Timbuktu
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(04-19-2017, 05:45 PM)
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Originally Posted by Armaros

Reminds me of Theranos.

All of these types worship Jobs.

But Jobs had Woz.
Zelenogorsk
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:45 PM)
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The device also reads a QR code printed on the back of each produce pack and checks the source against an online database to ensure the contents haven’t expired or been recalled, the person said. The expiration date is also printed on the pack.

Holy shit.
louiedog
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:46 PM)
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Originally Posted by slit

Well if cleanup is that big of a concern squeezing the packet into a cup is the cleanest of all. Squeeze and toss it.

They won't sell it to you without the $400 machine.

edit: Business idea. Buy a machine and charge people 20% markup to drop ship them juice packets.
FantasticMrFoxdie
Mumber
(04-19-2017, 05:46 PM)
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bwahahahhaha i actually have one of these (got it free from work)

Its stupid as fuck. Its DRM'd.

If you dont have a subscription to buy juices from them, your machine will not work/function and its essentially and literally a ton of brinks (its heavier than a damn microwave)

Work even gave us a free box of juices packets, but because you have to pay for a subscription even if you already have juice packets, you can't use it.

Me an my friends eventually figured out you can do what was shown in the OP. You can just cut a hole in the juice packet and squeeze out your juice.

I was thinking to myself how this is the Pet Rock of the modern era, but hey the free juice was actually really delicious.
Last edited by FantasticMrFoxdie; 04-19-2017 at 05:51 PM.
echoshifting
Banned
(04-19-2017, 05:46 PM)
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Originally Posted by Suikoguy

This is an invention you would see on MST3K.

No, some of those were pretty fun

This is just a big box that takes up space and does nothing
NinjaMouse
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:47 PM)
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We had one of these in our office for a demo week. It wasn't the juicer that was stupid, it was $7 per pack for the juice packs. Apparently the trick isn't the juicer's juicing skills as much as it is the "DRM" that's on each package. There's a bar code (QR code, maybe?) that the machine reads to verify the authenticity of the juice pack, keeping you from buying/using bootleg packs. Thanks, Juicero.

I can't believe anyone would invest any ANY of this nonsense.
Disxo
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:47 PM)
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Think I missed it,but, what is the point of those bags? They have 1 cup of content each? Isn't that going to make a lot of waste?
slit
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:47 PM)
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Originally Posted by louiedog

They won't sell it to you without the $400 machine.

You bought one, didn't you?
Chris R
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:47 PM)
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Originally Posted by slit

Well if cleanup is that big of a concern squeezing the packet into a cup is the cleanest of all. Squeeze and toss it.

Why not squeeze it right into your mouth, one less thing to clean.

I'll take $100,000,000 now, thanks.
Armaros
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:48 PM)
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Originally Posted by NinjaMouse

We had one of these in our office for a demo week. It wasn't the juicer that was stupid, it was $7 per pack for the juice packs. Apparently the trick isn't the juicer's juicing skills as much as it is the "DRM" that's on each package. There's a bar code (QR code, maybe?) that the machine reads to verify the authenticity of the juice pack, keeping you from buying/using bootleg packs. Thanks, Juicero.

I can't believe anyone would invest any ANY of this nonsense.

They saw the Keuring debacle and decided to go all the way. A DRMed subscription service to juice bags.
Last edited by Armaros; 04-19-2017 at 05:50 PM.
pirateluigi
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:48 PM)
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Originally Posted by FantasticMrFoxdie

bwahahahhaha i actually have one of these (got it free from work)

Its stupid as fuck. Its DRM'd.

If you dont have a subscription to buy juices from them, your machine will not work/function and its essentially and literally a ton of brinks (its heavier than a damn microwave)

Work even gave us a free box of juices packets, but because you have to pay for a subscription even if you already have juice packets.

Me an my friends eventually figured out you can do what was shown in the OP. You can just cut a hole in the juice packet and squeeze out your juice.

I was thinking to myself how this is the Pet Rock of the modern era, but hey the free juice was actually really delicious.

Every word of this is amazing.

I don't think you could come up with a more insulting product if you tried.
Futureman
Member
(04-19-2017, 05:48 PM)
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Originally Posted by NinjaMouse

We had one of these in our office for a demo week. It wasn't the juicer that was stupid, it was $7 per pack for the juice packs. Apparently the trick isn't the juicer's juicing skills as much as it is the "DRM" that's on each package. There's a bar code (QR code, maybe?) that the machine reads to verify the authenticity of the juice pack, keeping you from buying/using bootleg packs. Thanks, Juicero.

I can't believe anyone would invest any ANY of this nonsense.

How many cups of juice do you get with a $7 pack?

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