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PumpkinSpice
Banned
(04-19-2017, 06:49 PM)

Originally Posted by NinjaMouse

We had one of these in our office for a demo week. It wasn't the juicer that was stupid, it was $7 per pack for the juice packs. Apparently the trick isn't the juicer's juicing skills as much as it is the "DRM" that's on each package. There's a bar code (QR code, maybe?) that the machine reads to verify the authenticity of the juice pack, keeping you from buying/using bootleg packs. Thanks, Juicero.

I can't believe anyone would invest any ANY of this nonsense.

$7 for a cup of juice? I could buy a lot of bananas for that.
louiedog
Member
(04-19-2017, 06:49 PM)
louiedog's Avatar

Originally Posted by slit

You bought one, didn't you?

You seem to have the wrong idea and completely ignored the part where I said the machine is stupid.

If I wanted juice I'd throw my vegetables in my nice blender and strain them through a nut milk bag. I'm not interested in juicing though so I don't.
Armaros
Member
(04-19-2017, 06:49 PM)
Armaros's Avatar

Originally Posted by Futureman

How many cups of juice do you get with a $7 pack?

Bloomberg has a link to their demo, it's about one cup per bag.
Suikoguy
I whinny my fervor lowly, for his length is not as great as those of the Hylian war stallions
(04-19-2017, 06:49 PM)
Suikoguy's Avatar

Originally Posted by echoshifting

No, some of those were pretty fun

This is just a big box that takes up space and does nothing

True, I guess it does not have the 'fun' bit.

This is some serious evidence of there being an investor bubble right now.

Originally Posted by louiedog

If I wanted juice I'd throw my vegetables in my nice blender and strain them through a nut milk bag. I'm not interested in juicing though so I don't.

Well, learned something new today. I thought it was a joke at first.
Phu
Banned
(04-19-2017, 06:50 PM)
After you buy the machine for just $400, you can then look forward to spending $8 for 3 fl oz of pomegranate juice. Most of the others are 6-8 for 8.
eggandI
Banned
(04-19-2017, 06:50 PM)
Reminds me of https://twitter.com/PlanetofFinks/st...48359392870400
Lagspike_exe
Member
(04-19-2017, 06:50 PM)
Lagspike_exe's Avatar

Originally Posted by FantasticMrFoxdie

bwahahahhaha i actually have one of these (got it free from work)

Its stupid as fuck. Its DRM'd.

If you dont have a subscription to buy juices from them, your machine will not work/function and its essentially and literally a ton of brinks (its heavier than a damn microwave)

Work even gave us a free box of juices packets, but because you have to pay for a subscription even if you already have juice packets.

Me an my friends eventually figured out you can do what was shown in the OP. You can just cut a hole in the juice packet and squeeze out your juice.

I was thinking to myself how this is the Pet Rock of the modern era, but hey the free juice was actually really delicious.

I can't believe this is real.
Akuun
Looking for meaning in GAF
(04-19-2017, 06:50 PM)

Originally Posted by louiedog

I wonder how many of these health conscious people are also environmentally conscious and how they convince themselves throwing out a plastic pouch every time they drink juice makes sense.

Well, there's the Soylent guy who made this long, super smug and utterly insane post about how superior and efficient he is for throwing out all his clothes instead of washing them, among other things.

http://robrhinehart.com/?p=1331

The guy takes being self-absorbed beyond comic book levels.
echoshifting
Banned
(04-19-2017, 06:50 PM)
echoshifting's Avatar
You could get actual fresh squeezed juice from Jamba Juice every day for less than that and you wouldn't have to clean a thing

This is one of the most hilariously inept products I have ever seen
Old Gimlet Eyes
Member
(04-19-2017, 06:50 PM)
Old Gimlet Eyes's Avatar

Originally Posted by Armaros

They saw the Keuring debacle and decided to go all the way. A subscription service to juice bags.

Lets just say it again so it's sinks in even more, a subscription service to drm juice bags. What in the fuck.
slit
Member
(04-19-2017, 06:51 PM)
slit's Avatar

Originally Posted by louiedog

You seem to have the wrong idea and completely ignored the part where I said the machine is stupid.

If I wanted juice I'd throw my vegetables in my nice blender and strain them through a nut milk bag. I'm not interested in juicing though so I don't.

I didn't ignore it, I just think you're now covering. The truth shall set you free. Unburden yourself to us.
p2535748
Member
(04-19-2017, 06:51 PM)
I think $400 is a new, lower price too. Didn't this launch at $700?
PumpkinSpice
Banned
(04-19-2017, 06:51 PM)

Originally Posted by Akuun

Well, there's the Soylent guy who made this long, super smug and utterly insane post about how superior and efficient he is for throwing out all his clothes instead of washing them, among other things.

http://robrhinehart.com/?p=1331

The guy takes being self-absorbed beyond comic book levels.

Everyone should read this, it's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read. He acts having a fucking kitchen is some massive burden.
sersteven
Member
(04-19-2017, 06:52 PM)

Originally Posted by Suikoguy

This is an invention you would see on MST3K.

That's frankly insulting to the guys over at Gizmonic Institute.
Mortemis
Banned
(04-19-2017, 06:52 PM)

Originally Posted by FantasticMrFoxdie

bwahahahhaha i actually have one of these (got it free from work)

Its stupid as fuck. Its DRM'd.

If you dont have a subscription to buy juices from them, your machine will not work/function and its essentially and literally a ton of brinks (its heavier than a damn microwave)

Work even gave us a free box of juices packets, but because you have to pay for a subscription even if you already have juice packets, you can't use it.

Me an my friends eventually figured out you can do what was shown in the OP. You can just cut a hole in the juice packet and squeeze out your juice.

I was thinking to myself how this is the Pet Rock of the modern era, but hey the free juice was actually really delicious.

This is absolutely amazing.

Have we reached the pinnacle for Silicon Valley?
Rembrandt
Banned
(04-19-2017, 06:52 PM)

Originally Posted by FantasticMrFoxdie

bwahahahhaha i actually have one of these (got it free from work)

Its stupid as fuck. Its DRM'd.

If you dont have a subscription to buy juices from them, your machine will not work/function and its essentially and literally a ton of brinks (its heavier than a damn microwave)

Work even gave us a free box of juices packets, but because you have to pay for a subscription even if you already have juice packets, you can't use it.

Me an my friends eventually figured out you can do what was shown in the OP. You can just cut a hole in the juice packet and squeeze out your juice.

I was thinking to myself how this is the Pet Rock of the modern era, but hey the free juice was actually really delicious.

Lmaoooo, that's so fucking dumb.

At this point, why not just focus on the juices themselves?
VeryGooster
Banned
(04-19-2017, 06:52 PM)
VeryGooster's Avatar

The product was an unlikely pick for top technology investors, but they were drawn to the idea of an internet-connected device that transforms single-serving packets of chopped fruits and vegetables into a refreshing and healthy beverage.

Christ this sentence.
shnurgleton
Member
(04-19-2017, 06:53 PM)
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This is idiotic. I can't wait for the Bay Area bubble to burst.
capitalCORN
Member
(04-19-2017, 06:53 PM)

Originally Posted by Old Gimlet Eyes

Lets just say it again so it's sinks in even more, a subscription service to drm juice bags. What in the fuck.

Involving a glorified squeezing machine that somehow weights more than a fucking microwave.
louiedog
Member
(04-19-2017, 06:53 PM)
louiedog's Avatar

Originally Posted by Akuun

Well, there's the Soylent guy who made this long, super smug and utterly insane post about how superior and efficient he is for throwing out all his clothes instead of washing them, among other things.

http://robrhinehart.com/?p=1331

The guy takes being self-absorbed beyond comic book levels.

That guy's a moron.

He lives in a city where great food is readily accessible and cheap because it's close to where it's all grown and raised thanks to a pleasant mild climate. Yet he got the idea for the company because he stayed inside his shitty apartment all day every day working on a failure of a telecommunications idea and couldn't be bothered to go out and get any of it.
ReAxion
Member
(04-19-2017, 06:54 PM)
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theranos gave us this:

https://twitter.com/shanevader/statu...20109529509888

totally worth it.
cameron
Member
(04-19-2017, 06:55 PM)
cameron's Avatar

Google’s venture capital arm and other backers poured about $120 million into the startup. Juicero sells the machine for $400, plus the cost of individual juice packs delivered weekly. Tech blogs have dubbed it a “Keurig for juice.

$120 million. That's awesome.

But after the product’s introduction last year, at least two Juicero investors were taken aback after finding the packs could be squeezed by hand. They also said the machine was much bigger than what Evans had proposed. One of the investors said they were frustrated with how the company didn’t deliver on the original pitch and that their venture firm wouldn’t have met with Evans if he were hawking bags of juice that didn’t require high-priced hardware. Juicero didn’t broadly disclose to investors or employees that packs can be hand squeezed, said four people with knowledge of the matter.

Sorry, can't sympathize.
Muppet of a Man
Member
(04-19-2017, 06:55 PM)
Muppet of a Man's Avatar
VCs pouring billions into bullshit like this all the time.

Hey assholes, pour billions of dollars into the development of clean, cheap, sustainsble energy sources like next gen renewables, next gen batteries, and next gen nuclear (fission and fusion based). Our world, and ultimately the long term viability of your market, depends on it.
tokkun
Member
(04-19-2017, 06:55 PM)
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Originally Posted by Disxo

Think I missed it,but, what is the point of those bags? They have 1 cup of content each? Isn't that going to make a lot of waste?

There is a lot of waste with conventional juicers too.
Akuun
Looking for meaning in GAF
(04-19-2017, 06:56 PM)

Originally Posted by louiedog

That guy's a moron.

He lives in a city where great food is readily accessible and cheap because it's close to where it's all grown and raised thanks to a pleasant mild climate. Yet he got the idea for the company because he stayed inside his shitty apartment all day every day working on a failure of a telecommunications idea and couldn't be bothered to go out and get any of it.

Is there an article about this? I didn't know about this failed telecom idea.

I agree the guy is an insufferable nutcase though.
NinjaMouse
Member
(04-19-2017, 06:57 PM)
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Originally Posted by Futureman

How many cups of juice do you get with a $7 pack?

ONE 8 oz cup

They tried to tell us, "but you can eat the pulp from the bag when you're done! We even use it to make cookies!" GTFO

Originally Posted by SheepyGuy

$7 for a cup of juice? I could buy a lot of bananas for that.

I mean, in NYC, at least...the "fresh juice" from the juicer scam shops can easily top $9 or $10. Juice Press and Liquiteria are building an entire business on $10. I mean, there's a reason you only find Juice Press in expensive areas, right? =P
Rembrandt
Banned
(04-19-2017, 06:57 PM)

Originally Posted by Akuun

Well, there's the Soylent guy who made this long, super smug and utterly insane post about how superior and efficient he is for throwing out all his clothes instead of washing them, among other things.

http://robrhinehart.com/?p=1331

The guy takes being self-absorbed beyond comic book levels.

He's an actual crazy person.
kitchenmotors
Banned
(04-19-2017, 06:57 PM)
kitchenmotors's Avatar

Originally Posted by shnurgleton

This is idiotic. I can't wait for the Bay Area bubble to burst.

Same, tbh.
louiedog
Member
(04-19-2017, 06:58 PM)
louiedog's Avatar

Originally Posted by Akuun

Is there an article about this? I didn't know about this failed telecom idea.

I agree the guy is an insufferable nutcase though.

I can't remember exactly where I read it. I saw two versions of the story that were more or less the same at different points.
NandoGip
Member
(04-19-2017, 06:58 PM)
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Great twitter account @internetofshit regularly skewers these dumb ass products. Newest item is the wifi connected stove, so you can burn your house down while youre visiting china
Mushroomer25
Member
(04-19-2017, 06:58 PM)
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Frankly, it sounds like they might have accidentally stumbled onto a neat mass-market product. Just sell people the bags, and sell it as juice that is as 'fresh squeezed' as you can get.
Steejee
Member
(04-19-2017, 06:59 PM)
At no point in the story did it sound like any of the ideas that led up to the final product was any good.

The only way I could see something like this making any sense is if you bought several bags, each with individual types of fruits and veggies, put them all in the juicer, and then could mix and match with pre-created/custom combos. Even then 1 cup per bag would be pointless, the bags would need several cups each to allow for repeated use before replacing any. Then on *top* of that, allow people to put their own fruits and veggies in sans bags.

Basically a Freestyle soda machine for Juice, or a printer.

I hope the parties at the company were fun, they're about to end.
jstripes
Banned
(04-19-2017, 07:00 PM)
Oh my god, I wish I could come up with an idiotic idea that I could squeeze money out of investors for.

Originally Posted by NandoGip

Great twitter account @internetofshit regularly skewers these dumb ass products. Newest item is the wifi connected stove, so you can burn your house down while youre visiting china

The only thing I'd ever want that's even close to that is the ability to see if it's on, and to turn it off if it is. But you know there'd be dozens of vulnerabilities that would lead to potential disaster.
ItIsOkBro
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:00 PM)
ItIsOkBro's Avatar

Originally Posted by FantasticMrFoxdie

bwahahahhaha i actually have one of these (got it free from work)

Its stupid as fuck. Its DRM'd.

If you dont have a subscription to buy juices from them, your machine will not work/function and its essentially and literally a ton of brinks (its heavier than a damn microwave)

Work even gave us a free box of juices packets, but because you have to pay for a subscription even if you already have juice packets, you can't use it.

Me an my friends eventually figured out you can do what was shown in the OP. You can just cut a hole in the juice packet and squeeze out your juice.

I was thinking to myself how this is the Pet Rock of the modern era, but hey the free juice was actually really delicious.

drm juicer

I can't
capitalCORN
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:00 PM)

Originally Posted by Muppet of a Man

VCs pouring billions into bullshit like this all the time.

Hey assholes, pour billions of dollars into the development of clean, cheap, sustainsble energy sources like next gen renewables, next gen batteries, and next gen nuclear (fission and fusion based). Our world, and ultimately the long term viability of your market, depends on it.

The bolded points might as well be a death sentence for VCs. These are their Yeezys.
Trojita
Rapid Response Threadmaker
(04-19-2017, 07:01 PM)
Trojita's Avatar

Originally Posted by SheepyGuy

Everyone should read this, it's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read. He acts having a fucking kitchen is some massive burden.

Oh god, he started out mentioning he is one of those people that implanted a magnet in their body.
Sylas
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:03 PM)
So wait, if squeezing produces as much juice as the, uh... juice squeezer, what kind of bag is this? Or are they just squishy apples for apple juice? Why can't I just beat up some fruit without the bag and get juice from that?!

(Yes, I know it'd be a mess but I don't see how this is any different from bullying some fruit into relinquishing its sweet, sweet juice)
Angry Grimace
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
(04-19-2017, 07:04 PM)
Angry Grimace's Avatar
I bought a $400 juicer once, mostly on the merits of being fuck-all powerful.

Then my wife dumped me and took it, even though I was the one who went out of my way to research and get it.
PumpkinSpice
Banned
(04-19-2017, 07:06 PM)

Originally Posted by Sylas

So wait, if squeezing produces as much juice as the, uh... juice squeezer, what kind of bag is this? Or are they just squishy apples for apple juice? Why can't I just beat up some fruit without the bag and get juice from that?!

(Yes, I know it'd be a mess but I don't see how this is any different from bullying some fruit into relinquishing its sweet, sweet juice)

Why do you even need juice, what's wrong with just eating fruit?

If juice is so laborious and messy that you want to buy a $400 juicer + $7 per cup of juice, just eat an apple!
Razorback PT
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:07 PM)
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It doesn't make juice out of actual fruit? You need a subscription to get proprietary juice bags delivered through the mail from them? Once you get the bags you don't actually need the 400$ machine to extract the juice?

Where do I sign up?!
Keasar
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:08 PM)
Keasar's Avatar
Holdon, so that big fucking bag only packs enough drink for one tiny ass cup? And it costs 7 dollars?

120 million dollars....
So many hospitals/soup kitchens/animal shelters/whatever across the USA could have benefited with that money. But nope, the people of Silicon Valley and wherever demanded a 400 dollar machine to fresh squeeze their colostomy bags...
old
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:09 PM)
old's Avatar
I'm not mad at these people. I'm mad at the people who gave them the start up money.
louiedog
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:10 PM)
louiedog's Avatar

Originally Posted by Akuun

Is there an article about this? I didn't know about this failed telecom idea.

I agree the guy is an insufferable nutcase though.

In December of 2012, three young men were living in a claustrophobic apartment in San Francisco’s Tenderloin district, working on a technology startup. They had received a hundred and seventy thousand dollars from the incubator Y Combinator, but their project—a plan to make inexpensive cell-phone towers—had failed. Down to their last seventy thousand dollars, they resolved to keep trying out new software ideas until they ran out of money. But how to make the funds last? Rent was a sunk cost. Since they were working frantically, they already had no social life. As they examined their budget, one big problem remained: food.

They had been living mostly on ramen, corn dogs, and Costco frozen quesadillas—supplemented by Vitamin C tablets, to stave off scurvy—but the grocery bills were still adding up. Rob Rhinehart, one of the entrepreneurs, began to resent the fact that he had to eat at all. “Food was such a large burden,” he told me recently. “It was also the time and the hassle. We had a very small kitchen, and no dishwasher.” He tried out his own version of “Super Size Me,” living on McDonald’s dollar meals and five-dollar pizzas from Little Caesars. But after a week, he said, “I felt like I was going to die.” Kale was all the rage—and cheap—so next he tried an all-kale diet. But that didn’t work, either. “I was starving,” he said.

Here's a version
The Technomancer
card-carrying scientician
(04-19-2017, 07:10 PM)
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Originally Posted by cameron

$120 million. That's awesome.



Sorry, can't sympathize.

MUST NOT GET ANGRY ABOUT INVESTMENT CULTURE

MUST NOT BE ANGRY ABOUT HOW MANY INVESTORS LOOKED AT OUR ACTUAL SALES AND PASSED
HamPster PamPster
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:11 PM)
HamPster PamPster's Avatar

Originally Posted by h1nch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viejY6UZ5Bk

Finally a better way!

majik13
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:11 PM)
majik13's Avatar
Thought this was about the show, was sort of confused.
Anton Sugar
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:11 PM)
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Originally Posted by Razorback PT

It doesn't make juice out of actual fruit? You need a subscription to get proprietary juice bags delivered through the mail from them? Once you get the bags you don't actually need the 400$ machine to extract the juice?

Where do I sign up?!

Yeah, I'm confused. If the packs literally just contain the juice that can be consumed, and it's not actually pressing/squeezing fruit in that bag--how the fuck did this get funded? Was it sold on the (lie) that it would be squeezing actual fruit into juice? Or were the bags always a part of it?

I read the article and it says many investors definitely didn't know the bags could be squeezed by hand, but I'm just confused at how it made it even this far by literally being a $400 fancy clamp for a bag of juice.
Crayons
Banned
(04-19-2017, 07:12 PM)

Originally Posted by FantasticMrFoxdie

bwahahahhaha i actually have one of these (got it free from work)

Its stupid as fuck. Its DRM'd.

If you dont have a subscription to buy juices from them, your machine will not work/function and its essentially and literally a ton of brinks (its heavier than a damn microwave)

Work even gave us a free box of juices packets, but because you have to pay for a subscription even if you already have juice packets, you can't use it.

Me an my friends eventually figured out you can do what was shown in the OP. You can just cut a hole in the juice packet and squeeze out your juice.

I was thinking to myself how this is the Pet Rock of the modern era, but hey the free juice was actually really delicious.

DRM'd juicers. This is what the future looks like
BladeoftheImmortal
Banned
(04-19-2017, 07:13 PM)
BladeoftheImmortal's Avatar
Lol, why even squeeze? just get scissors
Armaros
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:14 PM)
Armaros's Avatar

Originally Posted by Razorback PT

It doesn't make juice out of actual fruit? You need a subscription to get proprietary juice bags delivered through the mail from them? Once you get the bags you don't actually need the 400$ machine to extract the juice?

Where do I sign up?!

Originally Posted by Anton Sugar

Yeah, I'm confused. If the packs literally just contain the juice that can be consumed, and it's not actually pressing/squeezing fruit in that bag--how the fuck did this get funded? Was it sold on the (lie) that it would be squeezing actual fruit into juice? Or were the bags always a part of it?

I read the article and it says many investors definitely didn't know the bags could be squeezed by hand, but I'm just confused at how it made it even this far by literally being a $400 fancy clamp for a bag of juice.

The bags are of small cut up pieces of fruit or vegetable, so they need to be squeezed to get the juice out. Its just the force needed is within human squeezing strength and no need for a big machine.

They are selling you drmed bags of soft cut-up fruit that need to be squeezed.

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