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Ceres
Banned
(04-19-2017, 07:14 PM)
So basically a crappy overpriced juicer that tried to create a proprietary bag... they must have seen how much keurig took off and the growing juicing market....
Arkeband
Banned
(04-19-2017, 07:14 PM)
I can't wait until someone develops a clamp and funnel device that you can just pour boiled water into to bypass the need for a Keurig.
Dick Justice
Banned
(04-19-2017, 07:15 PM)
This guy looks like Oscar Bluth.
louiedog
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:17 PM)
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Originally Posted by Dick Justice

This guy looks like Oscar Bluth.

He's more of a Buster.

Metalgus
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:18 PM)
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This is amazing. All of it. These fruits must be soft as Hell if you can squeeze juice from them by hand.
Johndoey
Banned
(04-19-2017, 07:18 PM)
This is honestly the most confused i've been by a product in ages. Like it's just a pouch of juice right? Who is this for?

Why is it connected to the internet?

Kippy Williams, owner of Kippy’s Organic Non-Dairy Ice Cream Shop in Los Angeles and Toyko, said she purchased her Juicero late last year for $1,200. (Juicero charges businesses a premium, she said.) Williams, a self-proclaimed health-food evangelist, said she’d like to see the company sell packs by themselves to people who can’t afford the device. “It would be great if they offered people the opportunity to buy the packs and press them by hand,” she said. “I want juice for every man, woman and child.”

And they charge businesses more for the machine?
TTOOLL
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:19 PM)
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Amazing that I just subscribed to Silicon Valley Season 4 thread hahahah
BladeoftheImmortal
Banned
(04-19-2017, 07:20 PM)
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And here i am poor as shit.
CDV13
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:21 PM)
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Lol, Channing Frye from the Cavs had this in a snapchat the other day. Rich people will buy expensive shit for the convenience. Got to keep those hands fresh for shooting.
Goldrush
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:21 PM)
Surprised that this doesn't run off the printer model where it's the ink that makes profit rather than the machine.
whitehawk
leeches are the best bait when attempting to land bass
(04-19-2017, 07:22 PM)
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Originally Posted by Johndoey

This is honestly the most confused i've been by a product in ages. Like it's just a pouch of juice right? Who is this for?

I think the theory is for people who want "fresh juice" without the mess of using a juicer and real fruit.

Terrible idea all around though.
NEO0MJ
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:22 PM)
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People here are salty they didn't think of this first.

More seriously, lol lol lol. This is ridiculous.
Empyrean Heaven
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:24 PM)
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Won't stop every two-bit hipster in San Francisco from buying one.
The Greek Freak
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:24 PM)
The idea of buying special bags for a juicer kills me.

The whole point of a juicer is to use produce you can get yourself.
echoshifting
Banned
(04-19-2017, 07:24 PM)
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Originally Posted by Johndoey

This is honestly the most confused i've been by a product in ages. Like it's just a pouch of juice right? Who is this for?

Why is it connected to the internet?

Well you know I gotta have that proper always online DRM before I juice
dantevsninjas
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:25 PM)
This is insane. $400 for this nonsense, and they originally wanted $700.

Sidenote: isn't juice not great for you anyway? Doesn't it pull all the fiber out of the equation and just leave you with sugars? I could be wrong about that, I don't really follow that stuff, but I could have sworn I read something about that.
Armaros
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:26 PM)
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Originally Posted by echoshifting

Well you know I gotta have that proper always online DRM before I juice

Your network is getting DDoSed so now you can't use your juicer.
BobNewbert31
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:27 PM)
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Originally Posted by ReAxion

theranos gave us this:

https://twitter.com/shanevader/statu...20109529509888

totally worth it.

Krakn3Dfx
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:27 PM)
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Originally Posted by Dick Justice

This guy looks like Oscar Bluth.

There's always money in the banana stand.
barber
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:28 PM)
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Originally Posted by Akuun

Well, there's the Soylent guy who made this long, super smug and utterly insane post about how superior and efficient he is for throwing out all his clothes instead of washing them, among other things.

http://robrhinehart.com/?p=1331

The guy takes being self-absorbed beyond comic book levels.

He is worried about energy dependance and uses lead based batteries? yikes
And yeah that is smug as fuck
Edit: goddam the kitchen part is ... yikes
capitalCORN
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:29 PM)

Originally Posted by dantevsninjas

Sidenote: isn't juice not great for you anyway? Doesn't it pull all the fiber out of the equation and just leave you with sugars? I could be wrong about that, I don't really follow that stuff, but I could have sworn I read something about that.

Dantevsninjas used SCIENCE. It missed!
Extra Sauce
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:30 PM)
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Originally Posted by Viewt

Yeah, but where am I supposed to get a hand?

Check out my hand kickstarter. $1000 for a thank you and one hundred million dollars for an actual human hand that I will graft to your body.

Please donate, I need all the help I can get to pay for my medikal* studies.

*alternative spelling for legal reasons
jstripes
Banned
(04-19-2017, 07:31 PM)

Originally Posted by Ceres

So basically a crappy overpriced juicer that tried to create a proprietary bag... they must have seen how much keurig took off and the growing juicing market....

At least the Keurig performs a function slightly more complicated than squeezing a bag.
Frankfurter
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:31 PM)
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I can't believe that people backed this product. It's incredibly expensive and the bags are a stupid idea, to say the least. Great for the company that can sell these overpriced products of course.
echoshifting
Banned
(04-19-2017, 07:32 PM)
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Originally Posted by xtrasauce

Check out my hand kickstarter. $1000 for a thank you and one hundred million dollars for an actual human hand that I will graft to your body. Please donate, I need all the help I can get to pay for my medikal* studies.

*alternative spelling for legal reasons

Rumor has it xtrasauce's proprietary hand technology is not even as good as your normal hands, and are actually less efficient when masturbating

So go throw that KS a million dollars please
BarringGaffner
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:34 PM)
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Why is this called a juicer? It's a bag squeezer.

The only reason to have a juicer is to see exactly what is going in and to make it super fresh. Why does this exist?
shingi70
Banned
(04-19-2017, 07:34 PM)

Originally Posted by Akuun

Well, there's the Soylent guy who made this long, super smug and utterly insane post about how superior and efficient he is for throwing out all his clothes instead of washing them, among other things.

http://robrhinehart.com/?p=1331

The guy takes being self-absorbed beyond comic book levels.


How is getting all your clothes shipped through custom shipping containers more convenient than just going to a store.
Polk
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:35 PM)

Originally Posted by NEO0MJ

People here are salty they didn't think of this first.

More seriously, lol lol lol. This is ridiculous.

I'm not sure if I'm too clever or too stupid to think of internet connected squeeezer with subsription service.
claviertekky
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:36 PM)
Sounds like a product when combining Keurig + Soylent ideas together.

Not a far-fetched idea when the market loves those two companies for reasons that people don't understand. Some GAFers here use those products.

Originally Posted by FantasticMrFoxdie

bwahahahhaha i actually have one of these (got it free from work)

Why was your workplace giving them away?
AGoodODST
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:36 PM)
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Originally Posted by FantasticMrFoxdie

bwahahahhaha i actually have one of these (got it free from work)

Its stupid as fuck. Its DRM'd.

If you dont have a subscription to buy juices from them, your machine will not work/function and its essentially and literally a ton of brinks (its heavier than a damn microwave)

Work even gave us a free box of juices packets, but because you have to pay for a subscription even if you already have juice packets, you can't use it.

Me an my friends eventually figured out you can do what was shown in the OP. You can just cut a hole in the juice packet and squeeze out your juice.

I was thinking to myself how this is the Pet Rock of the modern era, but hey the free juice was actually really delicious.

This is amazing.
NoFaceNico
Banned
(04-19-2017, 07:37 PM)
All these DRM pod devices are just awful. What a horrible way to screw over the people who paid a premium for your product. They need to be shamed so people don't get sucked into these schemes.

I'm still waiting for the $400+ Flatev tortilla maker to implode.
Timbuktu
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:41 PM)
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It does read like all the extra tech is there to screw the customer over and adds nothing to the function. The guy wanted to charge $700 at first as well.
claviertekky
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:43 PM)

Originally Posted by NoFaceNico

All these DRM pod devices are just awful. What a horrible way to screw over the people who paid a premium for your product. They need to be shamed so people don't get sucked into these schemes.

I'm still waiting for the $400+ Flatev tortilla maker to implode.

Next up is an organic water dispenser with a barcode to fill your cup + wifi to help you count how much water you are drinking a day.
C.Mongler
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:46 PM)
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I saw this thing for the first time in one of Casey Neistat's blogs the other day (of course he fucking has one), and I literally laughed out loud when he got all excited about juicing and then slapped a pre-packaged liquid filled bladder inside of the thing. Like how the fuck does that work? What's the appeal over, ya know, a regular fucking juicer? If the answer is 'ease of use', doesn't just going to the grocery store and picking up bottled organic juice achieve the same effect for relatively the same cost? It fucking tickles me to learn that this thing both is pointless and has some dumb-ass DRM to boot.
Muppet of a Man
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:47 PM)
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This is what the world looks like when otherwise smart people jump on the get rich quick train. We need to solve the real problems of society. The hardest part is done: we know what they are.

We just literally need to devote the time, effort, and money to do it. What the fuck is wrong with people?
NoRéN
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:47 PM)
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Originally Posted by h1nch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viejY6UZ5Bk

Every time I hear "the S.S. Microwave" I hope to hear the dude in the pool say, "Achtung! Mein crepez are done!"
BobJustBob
LOL WTF I'm so drunk
(04-19-2017, 07:48 PM)
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Originally Posted by Disxo

Think I missed it,but, what is the point of those bags? They have 1 cup of content each? Isn't that going to make a lot of waste?





Box of Kittens
Banned
(04-19-2017, 07:48 PM)
They're really missing out on an opportunity here. Set up an app you can use to pay someone to squeeze your juice bag for you.

"Now you can be your own boss and earn extra cash in your spare time squeezing juice. Of course, as an independent contractor, we won't give you any benefits or assume any responsibility for juicing related injuries. Remember, we're not in the juicer business, we're disrupting the juicer business."
AndersK
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:50 PM)
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This is litterally 'The gang makes a juicer'/'The gang tries Kickstarter'
Akuun
Looking for meaning in GAF
(04-19-2017, 07:53 PM)

Originally Posted by louiedog

Here's a version

Thanks.

This fucking guy.
Sheytan
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:56 PM)
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Buy this juicer instead ;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b21MQqHthPs
Ogodei
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:58 PM)
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Originally Posted by pirateluigi

Every word of this is amazing.

I don't think you could come up with a more insulting product if you tried.

It's one of those things that someone would come up with for a spoof corporate dystopia story (and would get discarded from a real corporate dystopia story for being too unrealistic).
pastrami
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:00 PM)

Originally Posted by SheepyGuy

Why do you even need juice, what's wrong with just eating fruit?

If juice is so laborious and messy that you want to buy a $400 juicer + $7 per cup of juice, just eat an apple!

What a peasant, doing manual labor like chewing to obtain nutrients.
HamPster PamPster
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:00 PM)
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Originally Posted by NEO0MJ

People here are salty they didn't think of this first.

More seriously, lol lol lol. This is ridiculous.

Juice = This thing
Coffee = Keurig
Soda = Sodastream
...
Tea = My $120 million idea (patent pending pls don't steal)
shnurgleton
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:02 PM)
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Originally Posted by louiedog

Here's a version

http://robrhinehart.com/?p=298

Left out the part when he found out Snake Oil was the key ingredient.
Walter White Walker
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:05 PM)
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Originally Posted by Goldrush

Surprised that this doesn't run off the printer model where it's the ink that makes profit rather than the machine.

Considering they're charging $6-8 for small bags of fruits and vegetables I'd say they'd be making money both ways from the idiots that buy this.
Chittagong
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:06 PM)
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Originally Posted by FantasticMrFoxdie

bwahahahhaha i actually have one of these (got it free from work)

Its stupid as fuck. Its DRM'd.

If you dont have a subscription to buy juices from them, your machine will not work/function and its essentially and literally a ton of brinks (its heavier than a damn microwave)

Work even gave us a free box of juices packets, but because you have to pay for a subscription even if you already have juice packets, you can't use it.

Me an my friends eventually figured out you can do what was shown in the OP. You can just cut a hole in the juice packet and squeeze out your juice.

I was thinking to myself how this is the Pet Rock of the modern era, but hey the free juice was actually really delicious.

Ahahahaha, I am a VC and I am dying reading this, thanks for sharing! Holy shit which VC backed this...?
Box of Kittens
Banned
(04-19-2017, 08:06 PM)

Originally Posted by Armaros

Reminds me of Theranos.

All of these types worship Jobs.

Well, most of them remind me a lot of Jobs. At least the "being a complete asshole" part.
BobNewbert31
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:11 PM)
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Originally Posted by Chittagong

Ahahahaha, I am a VC and I am dying reading this, thanks for sharing! Holy shit which VC backed this...?

he has extracted a remarkable $120 million in investments from Silicon Valley titans, including Google Ventures and Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers, and big companies like Campbell Soup.

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/03/b...rest.html?_r=0
Gentleman Jack
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:11 PM)
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The New York franchise drew rave reviews from the likes of Gwyneth Paltrow.

A legitimate crazy person gave this person's business pedigree a good review and apparently that's enough for VCs to just throw hundreds of millions at his next idea. It's 1998 all over again.

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