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Sports match or wedding?

Planning a successful party, let alone a goddamn wedding means using a little foresight about your potential guests plans. I would chaulk this up as a whoopsie daisy on the bride/groom for not considering this in the equation.

I understand the counter-argument, and friendship ties but when you are voluntarily planning an event where you want all of your friends and family to show, part of this process is to always, always assume the worst and plan around it. Its wedding planning 101.
 
The GAA is a huge deal in Ireland. They can't really miss the game. It says amateur which it technically is but they get 70,000 people at Croke Park in Dublin for the highest level games. That being said I don't know what level this guy is playing at.

Aaah, I didn't know that it's such a big event. The way the OP phrased it, I assumed it was any old recreational sports league akin to the city basketball leagues that I play in, where like... 20 people show up to the games and they're usually people from the old folks home next door to the gym.

In this case, if it's such a big thing, I think the friends should buck up and make the difference for the bride on her wedding day.

Planning a successful party, let alone a goddamn wedding means using a little foresight about your potential guests plans. I would chaulk this up as a whoopsie daisy on the bride/groom for not considering this in the equation.

I understand the counter-argument, and friendship ties but when you are voluntarily planning an event where you want all of your friends and family to show, part of this process is to always, always assume the worst and plan around it. Its wedding planning 101.

My wife and I got married last year and we primarily planned around the rough schedules of our families and other major events when we picked our date. It's totally up to your friends wh oare RSVPing, not the bride/groom, to know the availability of other people... Outside of like close family.

Very few brides and grooms really care if you 'RVSP No' to a wedding. We invited 180 guests and quizzically had 184 people RSVP yes [late adds basically], and 183 people came. We had 1 no show and we were both a little miffed about that though not to a major degree (my wife was more miffed than I was). Even if close friends of ours couldn't make it, if they RSVP no ,then I wouldn't care at all. My old roommate, a guy I lived with for like 6 years who was a close friend for a long time RSVP no which was fine by me... He just couldn't make it for whatever reason, or didn't want to come, or w/e, and I didn't mind at all.

But if you RSVP Yes and then no show, even if you know your'e going to no show and let the bride know about it, it's shitty. I think they should pay the difference for their friend. That's bascially the only thing that would make this better in my mind, as a sort of mea culpa... "Yes, we're unreliable shitty people and we're sorry, but life intervened, here's the difference for the room/meal, and a wedding gift."
 
This is an amateur team right? Isn't it basically like something they do for fun?

Is it really that big of a deal?
GAA is all amateur in Ireland but they can draw 10s of thousands depending on the level it's being played.
Gooch_goal_vDublin20111.jpg
 

Jacce

Banned
This is an amateur team right? Isn't it basically like something they do for fun?

Is it really that big of a deal?

It was mentioned earlier in the thread that this amateur league is a huge deal in Ireland and big matches can get 70k+ in attendance.
 

Ahgod

Neo Member
I don't like weddings but I dont care about sports at all and find them pretty silly so I'd pick the wedding.
 

Regulus Tera

Romanes Eunt Domus
I was gonna say don't be a dick, attend at least for the free food.... but you don't reach semis every day. Conflicted.
 

Futureman

Member
why would the bride/groom have to pay for the hotel rooms? Wouldn't the guests have made the hotel reservations and thus they would be on the hook for the money?

maybe it's different in Ireland or something but the only wedding I had to travel to was in Chicago and my GF and I made our reservations and made payment.
 

Lucumo

Member
When asked if she tried to use Liveline as 'leverage' she said; "a little bit... because I was panicking that I was going to go on air."

"You can't use Liveline as a threat," Philip Boucher-Hayes told the bride-to-be, "that doesn't work."
Pfff...
 

_Nemo

Member
One of the biggest days of your life vs. One of the biggest days of a friend's life. There's no wrong answers here.
 

C.Mongler

Member
I don't know enough about sports, the GAA, weddings, or general Irishness to follow this article very well tbh.

On one hand, when you RSVP to something like this, it's kind of a commitment. To pull out days before the date after RSVPing does seem like kind of a dick move to me. You're already well paid, planned, and accounted for at that point, and it's a a pain in the ass/wallet for even a couple people to pull out at that point, let alone 18 people.

On the other hand, why was an entire sports team invited, and why wasn't their schedule considered when setting the wedding date (was she/her husband involved with this team? Legit couldn't follow). Surely they knew they invited an entire team, and surely they would consider possible schedule conflicts that would result you would think, and avoid big game season entirely.

In short, beats me man, I dunno.
 
Ah nevermind. I guess there's lots more money on the line here.
Again it depends on what level this is being played at. I don’t think any of the top level GAA competitions are in the semi final stage. Hurling just finished up last weekend I think.
One of the biggest days of your life vs. One of the biggest days of a friend's life. There's no wrong answers here.
The right answer is cover your expense back to the bride/groom.
 
Planning a wedding seems like the fucking worst.

I had a Vegas limo drivethrough wedding and In-n-out burger for the ‘reception’ and it was the fucking best, 10/10 would renew vows that way again. It helps that the wife doesn’t care about weddings either as we both just wanted the marriage part.

We also got wedding rings at the Pawn Stars shop. That whole experience was a blast.
 

smokeymicpot

Beat EviLore at pool.
why would the bride/groom have to pay for the hotel rooms? Wouldn't the guests have made the hotel reservations and thus they would be on the hook for the money?

The Bride/Groom probably had to put a bunch of money down to block out the rooms so they would not be taken.
 
why would the bride/groom have to pay for the hotel rooms? Wouldn't the guests have made the hotel reservations and thus they would be on the hook for the money?

OP didn't really mention the actual drama here, is that the Hotel has a 130-room minimum for reserving it, and these ~18 cancellations or whatever made the bride and groom fall short of the 130-room minimum, and so they're billing the bride and groom for unreserved rooms. Must be a pretty big hotel...

So, basically, the hotel is making the bride and groom pay ~$5000 or whatever dollars (just estimating, no idea what the rooms go for in Ireland) for rooms that are going to be empty that night. No idea what the rooms cost, just an estimate. That room minimum practice is very common for reserving rooms for weddings, but reserving 130 rooms is a lot. We had 180 guests at our wedding and I think reserved... 35 rooms? So this sounds like a major event for both the bride/groom and the hotel.

So the bride called to see if they could meet in the middle, e.g., we'll pay $3000, and they said no, and so she (stupidly) said she was going to call a local radio station or something, which then caused the hotel to double down and not budge because she was threatening them with bad press.

The story between the friends is side drama. Personally, I think if these friends are good people and give a shit about their friend getting married, then they wouldn't screw her/him out of $5000 on their wedding day, instead the 18 of them would buck up and realize "fuck, we unintentionally fucked our friend over on her wedding day and we should make up the huge cost for her."
 
Here's how I see it...

This is your friend's (hopefully) one chance at a great wedding...

But this is your groups possibly one chance to reach finals via the semis.

You're asking one person to give up a dream for 12+ peoples others dreams. I would not be upset, disappointed? Yes. Upset? No.
 
I think it might be more about the cost. Bride and groom are going to be out thousands of dollars because of unreserved rooms that they reserved because the no-show guests said they were coming, and now they broke their RSVP.

Reasonable thing would be to skip the wedding (because this sports event is pretty major if it's attracting 70,000 people), but still pay for the room that the bride reserved for you because you said you were going. Also the hotel should cut the bride/groom some slack here too. The right thing to do for the hotel would be to meet them in the middle on room reservations.
 

ghostjoke

Banned
The complete lack of comment from the groom entertains me to no end.

I don't have any interest in GAA, but there's a lot of potential glory there that's worth more than any wedding.
 
I think it might be more about the cost. Bride and groom are going to be out thousands of dollars because of unreserved rooms that they reserved because the no-show guests said they were coming, and now they broke their RSVP.

Reasonable thing would be to skip the wedding (because this sports event is pretty major if it's attracting 70,000 people), but still pay for the room that the bride reserved for you because you said you were going. Also the hotel should cut the bride/groom some slack here too. The right thing to do for the hotel would be to meet them in the middle on room reservations.

Wait, who was paying for the room to begin with? If the bride and groom were already paying for the room, then I'm a bit less sympathetic. If the guest was paying for the room, but now not and suddenly there's an additional cost to the bride and groom, then I'm much more understanding. Is this only about the room and not the cost of the food too?
 

Kill3r7

Member
Reasonable thing would be to skip the wedding (because this sports event is pretty major if it's attracting 70,000 people), but still pay for the room that the bride reserved for you because you said you were going. Also the hotel should cut the bride/groom some slack here too. The right thing to do for the hotel would be to meet them in the middle on room reservations.

.
 

Glix

Member
My dad was best man and his pals wedding, missing the Thrilla in Manilla. He already had the plane tickets and the fight tickets and everything.

He says he doesn't regret it.

I don't believe him.
 
Sports league championship tournaments usually run on a fairly predictable yearly schedule. So it's kind of the bride's fault for planning the wedding on the same day as another event that she likely knows would affect her guests.

???

It's the guests fault for RSVPing yes when they knew they may have a conflict, not the planners fault. That's the whole point of RSVPing.
 
Thought this thread was going to be about scheduling weddings during football season.

I'm on a rec kickball league with some good friends, and we've been playing together for years. And part of that is an annual trip down to Portland to play in their kickball tournament. One of the girls on the team scheduled her wedding for early August, with plans to move the date of her wedding if it happened to fall during the weekend of the tournament. (Luckily, it didn't.) So I get where one side of this is coming from.

On the other hand, if you RSVPd for a wedding, it's kind of shitty to leave the bride/groom holding the ball like that. That RSVP affects more than just the hotel room; it affects food and drink minimums, it affects the overall guest list, it affects potential guests and their travel plans.

Basically, planning a wedding sucks, and it makes everyone involved crazy. Don't contribute to that.
 
Who needs the friendship of someone who cared enough about you to invite you to one of the most emotionally significant days of their life when you could have potentially thousands of total strangers cheering for you?
 
I wouldn't skip a wedding to play a sport, because I am not a pro athlete, and my softball league isn't that big of a deal, HOWEVER I will not come to your wedding if you schedule your wedding in the fall, and Ohio State is playing a game that day. Sorry bout it. I would of course know well beforehand that the dates were a conflict, and would RSVP No though so you didn't waste money on me as that is a dick move.
 
I think the response here is a bit on sided with mostly guys on this forum. Weddings are a huge deal to women to the point where many will pick the wedding over "some" game.
Anyways if it was my best friend or brother my team will take the hit. Anyone else the game wins.
 
Finished reading the article. That bride is scum to try to blackmail a hotel like that. Really underhanded.

Still, how do people not get the fundamental idea of RSVPing to something? You do not RSVP yes if you foresee significant chance of you not making an event. The issue isn't with when the wedding was planned, the issue is that people agreed to come to the event then changed their minds. The issue isn't even that they decided not to come or them being bad friends for choosing sports over a wedding.
 
Wait, who was paying for the room to begin with? If the bride and groom were already paying for the room, then I'm a bit less sympathetic. If the guest was paying for the room, but now not and suddenly there's an additional cost to the bride and groom, then I'm much more understanding. Is this only about the room and not the cost of the food too?

The bride and groom had to pre-reserve a block of rooms, which the guests would then pay for as they make reservations. The bride and groom reserved the block expecting ~130 rooms because of RSVPs (which is unusually high...), but then 18 of these rooms aren't aren't being reserved, so the hotel was making the bride/groom pay the difference of the 18 rooms.

This is common with weddings reserving blocks of rooms. If they go unsold, then you have to pay for them..... But typically it's not this huge number. Like, we had a big wedding (180) and reserved 35 rooms I think, all of them were sold and then some, and some people stayed at another hotel because our main hotel was booked.

I'd imagine it'd also be the food too, but the rooms are the higher cost here (most likely).

If they pay for their plates then it shouldn't be a big deal. Especially since someone said the wedding can be moved but the couple doesn't want to.

I agree they should pay for their plates, but it sounds like the rooms are a much much bigger expense... Likely thousands of dollars.

Also changing a wedding date is insane. That's a fucking logistical nightmare and you're likely to have many more people who can't go on short notice if you change it on them. You have to book wedding dates well more than a year in advance usually, especially for a huge wedding. The venue, rooms, photographer, band/DJ, food, transportation, dessert, etc., Not to mention all of the other guests who have to plan their social schedule around the date you originally set, with Save the Dates, RSVPs, etc. Changing a date shortly before the event is not possible for anybody.

Finished reading the article. That bride is scum to try to blackmail a hotel like that. Really underhanded.

Still, how do people not get the fundamental idea of RSVPing to something? You do not RSVP yes if you foresee significant chance of you not making an event. The issue isn't with when the wedding was planned, the issue is that people agreed to come to the event then changed their minds. The issue isn't even that they decided not to come or them being bad friends for choosing sports over a wedding.

Exactly.
An RSVP yes means an RSVP yes. Unless there's some impossible to plan unfortunate circumstance like a death or extreme weather event, if you RSVP yes to something you're expected to go... Or at least, pay for the cost for the bride/groom.

If I RSVPed for a wedding and then didn't show, I'd pay for my plate + gift as the only decent thing a person should do. If there's also a room that the bride has to pay because of me breaking my RSVP? Then I'd pay for my room ($250 or w/e), my plate ($100 or w/e), and a gift. This is the fine for breaking an RSVP.
 
The bride and groom had to pre-reserve a block of rooms, which the guests would then pay for as they make reservations. The bride and groom reserved the block expecting ~130 rooms or w/e it says (which is unusually high...), but then 18 of these rooms aren't aren't being reserved, so the hotel was making the bride/groom pay the difference of the 18 rooms.

This is common with weddings reserving blocks of rooms. If they go unsold, then you have to pay for them..... But typically it's not this huge number. Like, we had a big wedding (180) and reserved 35 rooms I think, all of them were sold and then some.

I'd imagine it'd also be the food too, but the rooms are the higher cost here (most likely).



I agree they should pay for their plates, but it sounds like the rooms are a much much bigger expense... Likely thousands of dollars.

Also changing a wedding date is insane. That's a fucking logistical nightmare and you're likely to have many more people who can't go on short notice if you change it on them.
I think it is just paying for plates. 100-150€ a plate doesn't sound unreasonable. Times 18 guess you easily get to that 2000€ number.
 

Catdaddy

Member
Yeah bad planning on their part. Like having a Saturday Fall wedding in the South, be sure to make sure no major college games are on or have the wedding start at 8am.
 

Ogni-XR21

Member
why would the bride/groom have to pay for the hotel rooms? Wouldn't the guests have made the hotel reservations and thus they would be on the hook for the money?

That's what I was wondering, too. Why does the bride and groom have to pay for the rooms? I get that they have to pay for food, but I've never been to a wedding where the guests don't pay for their rooms when they stay for the night. Maybe German weddings are just different this way...

Edit:
I think it is just paying for plates. 100-150€ a plate doesn't sound unreasonable. Times 18 guess you easily get to that 2000€ number.

Sounds reasonable.
 
I had a Vegas limo drivethrough wedding and In-n-out burger for the ‘reception’ and it was the fucking best, 10/10 would renew vows that way again. It helps that the wife doesn’t care about weddings either as we both just wanted the marriage part.

We also got wedding rings at the Pawn Stars shop. That whole experience was a blast.

Sounds awesome. My girl and I have always said we'd save on the wedding and just go to the courthouse and have a dope honeymoon somewhere, but, who knows? They just seem stressful as shit, for absolutely no reason. Like, who does this to themselves on purpose?
 
The bride and groom had to pre-reserve a block of rooms, which the guests would then pay for as they make reservations. The bride and groom reserved the block expecting ~130 rooms or w/e it says (which is unusually high...), but then 18 of these rooms aren't aren't being reserved, so the hotel was making the bride/groom pay the difference of the 18 rooms.

This is common with weddings reserving blocks of rooms. If they go unsold, then you have to pay for them..... But typically it's not this huge number. Like, we had a big wedding (180) and reserved 35 rooms I think, all of them were sold and then some.

I'd imagine it'd also be the food too, but the rooms are the higher cost here (most likely).

The food cost to me is irrelevant because that was a fixed and sunk cost that you were fine with paying to begin with. Now the room situation is much more interesting.

What's interesting to me is that they would book this place as the site of their wedding with that type of commitment without knowing ahead of time if they would be able to really hit that commitment of 130 rooms. Typically you have to book the place in advance before you send out the invitation, so they were already taking a risk that they might not be able to fill 130 rooms and knew full well what that risk was. I asked about who was initially paying because I know in some cases, the wedding party pays for the rooms instead of the guest and that to me is a part of the fixed sunk cost of having the wedding if they were doing so. While I think the guest should pay for the unused room since this sounds like it's a sudden additional cost to the wedding party, the wedding party also knew this could have happened and that they would have been stuck with the cost anyway. That's the risk you take when you book this type of place in advance without knowing who will or will not come.

So again, I think it would be nice if the guest paid their part of the room, and still gave them a wedding gift, but the wedding party should have done better planning given the circumstances and what they were planning on committing themselves to in the obligation of the cost and venue of the wedding. I don't think the plate cost is something they pay for because the gift is the payment for the plate. I think they also handled the aftermath poorly.
 
i'm kinda shocked at the anti-wedding sentiment in here. i consider attending my friends wedding a big deal. its their big day and they invited me to be there with them - i'm doing whatever i can to be there

now I don't know what this GAA is but... is it more comparable to a beer league softball championship game or the super bowl?

because i'd be pissed if my friends missed my wedding for a beer league game
 
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