PixelatedBookake
Junior Member
Try only texting her about future dates/ scheduling. That way you can save your good convos for when you're in person and if you don't get replies back you can move on easily.
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Dating Age |OT7| Tough Love
- Thread starter Advocatus Diaboli
- Start date
Try only texting her about future dates/ scheduling. That way you can save your good convos for when you're in person and if you don't get replies back you can move on easily.
Meifu
Member
Jesus man, thats rough. Definitely time to dump/ end it, b/c like everyone else is saying thats over already, no point in stringing it out
Sygma
Member
Exactly, it's just perception. Of course if her instincts are more attuned to the social etiquette, in that case you take the no and move on to the next one. If you as a dude are chasing the gal you're doing it wrong anyway
Sygma
Member
Slap yourself for two seconds.
First of all you let her call. When she does you make a plan and carry on. If she's not interested about meeting up "ok cool, well let me know when you change your mind" and get out of the phone.
Save the convos and all of that for when you ll meet in person, phone is really just to set dates. Stop texting all day etc it makes you look desperate
Also to the oblivious ones, when a girl is contacting you, always ask her out and nothing more
Subpar Scrub
Banned
Same. I've seen people dig up posts from like 6 years ago, last thing I need is someone posting my pic in an unrelated thread to prove a point or some shit.
Or worse, a friend or employer finds my account lol
Beren the Empty-Handed
Member
This weekend I have three dates with three different women. Alas, I was not able to schedule them all for the same time and at the same restaurant. My dreams of reenacting that classic sitcom plot will have to wait.
Pie in the sky dream is to have to pretend to be an elderly British woman on one of them.
Pie in the sky dream is to have to pretend to be an elderly British woman on one of them.
EchoChamber
Member
I always have a small conversation before ask anyone on a date, I will wait to see if she answers the last message to ask her out.
And take the L or the W.
Is this how normal humans communicate? Why is she deflecting without giving you a short 1 minute answer?
Why does it take a whole day (way more than that, really, since you've been waiting for a while) to formulate a one-minute answer.
Re-read this quote five times and then break it off with her.
Is she in Guantanamo? She absolutely has a few spare minutes in her day. She just can't be bothered to spare them for you. Again, she would rather like things on fb than help alleviate this mental anguish you're going through from not knowing what's going on.
She would rather like things on fb than help alleviate this mental anguish you're going through from not knowing what's going on.
she would rather like things on fb than help alleviate this mental anguish you're going through from not knowing what's going on.
Krauser Kat
Member
That new stranger things bar is by far the best place in town for finding fun girls.... it sucks you have to wait so long to get in though.
PancakeBurglar
Member
Adam I'm sorry to hear about your situation, honestly I think you might need to end it if she can't genuinely communicate with you. Communication is one of the most important aspects of a relationship along with trust. I've struggled with depression, I've had friends struggle with it and dated women who struggle with it including my current girl and I'll never negatively judge someone because they deal with it. However I find that it's no excuse to ignore the people you are closest too, depressed or not that's no way to treat your SO, you are obviously unhappy about it I think you need to make your stand on what you really want.
Megalosaro
Banned
Please don't compare me to Trump.
Context? I'm presuming it was a creeper comment.
Thanks for the comments. It's good to get some outside perspective just so I don't get too acclimated in my own bubble.
Speaking of which, what ha been people's experience here with dating vegans?
I don't mean what it's like to date vegans, but, to use videogame parlance, what's your "encounter rate" with vegans in the dating world?
Me, while the % of vegans in my personal life (friends, family, co-workers, etc) is roughly 2%, but out of the women I have met while dating, it's close to 50%. That's a huge disparity. And nothing wrong with being vegan, nor dating one (though I do love going on dates to tasty restaurants and sharing a wide variety of things), it seems that single women, especially those without children are far, FAR more likely to be vegan.
Is that your experience as well?
LordKasual
Banned
The Hookup Chronicles OT
Not too terribly high?
But every time, it feels like getting a really nice item drop with a dreadful hidden negative passive roll
Megalosaro
Banned
I've never dated a vegan, but every vegan I've met was annoying af. I'm okay with their choices in life. Hell, I even agree with some of their points. But don't judge me or try to make me stop eatting meat.
One vegan I know personally is definitely annoying AF about it. But all the women I've gone out with who have been vegan have been very chill about it. I remember going to a pizza place with one, while she got a slice of vegan pizza, she was the one that suggested I get their meat lovers pizza, amusingly called "Meat Jesus". So absolutely no attempt at converting me. But then they're probably just being initially more tolerant about it and it might become more of an issue later on?
LookAtMeGo
Member
I was going out like 4 or 5 times a week all summer but so far this month its been like once or twice a week. I'm weening off. Ideally I'd like to get down to like once a month.
Are you going out like every day? Seems you got new story for every day
We don't know what the women look like
Lol
Yeah I know I said that. I still am doing better than I was for sure and will keep working on it but the whole neighbours bday with a bunch of cuties was too much for me to pass up. And I just happened to meet a few nice ones that night. I'm addicted to women and booze. Its tough. I havent had a smoke in a week so thats good!! And now that I have a few potentials going on I can just focus my attention there instead of trying to go meet anything new. Just sitting at home alone gets rough after a few days.
And yeah I get that about the lurkers.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
And, date canceled this weekend. A school commitment came up, and she has to work Saturday night anyway.
She apologized and immediately counter-offered with Sunday, but she warned me that it depended on how much work shes able to complete over the weekend; she also preemptively said shed feel terrible if she canceled on me again.
I said it was okay and that wed shoot for Sunday.
Her schedule is going to be difficult to work around.
She apologized and immediately counter-offered with Sunday, but she warned me that it depended on how much work shes able to complete over the weekend; she also preemptively said shed feel terrible if she canceled on me again.
I said it was okay and that wed shoot for Sunday.
Her schedule is going to be difficult to work around.
The one vegan I dated (late 20's) was okay with me eating meat. The more practical issue was finding places to dine at. Can't just walk down the street and duck into a random restaurant - often enough they'd have nothing she likes! Instead dinnertime consisted of 15 minutes of Yelp and menu browsing.
We ate a lot of Indian, Mexican, and Thai....
Even more so here, in Southern California.
I hate when cliches turn out to be accurate.
I get that, I broke up with my girlfriend 8 days ago and I'm already going through to Glasgow this weekend to see a uni friend for a piss up, going back to Glasgow next weekend to see my old flat mate for another piss up and then going down to London the week after that to see my friend and his wife down there for another major piss up.
I'm looking forward to it, especially now that I'm single!
toadsworth
Banned
Got a date lined up for Saturday night. I get pretty nervous about dating but I'm trying to be proactive and conquer that fear by going on more.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Its definitely fun getting back out there. Just got to be careful because its almost a little too much fun. I let myself get a little carried away. Sounds like you got a fun month planned though man. Hope its a blast.
Good luck toad. Snap me if anything cool happens 😉
Megalosaro
Banned
Yeah. She wants to fuck you. Bring condoms.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Is there a rule about banging a moms friend? That has to have some potential drama there, no?
do it
she wants to fuck. just be aware that 50 shades is a shit representation of BDSM. Watching 50 shades at home is blatant as fuck tho, lol
Raptomex
Member
And I'm very eager to know what happens next.
artsi
Member
I'm always prepared, especially on home dates lol.
Well she's not that close, they mostly know each other via their hobby (horses) and facebook. She knows all horse people over here anyway.
¯\_(ツ
_/¯
LordKasual
Banned
LookAtMeGo
Member
Red flag @ the boldedWell she's not that close, they mostly know each other via their hobby (horses) and facebook. She knows all horse people over here anyway.
¯_(ツ
Im kidding around but in my experience, horse people are nutso.
No offense to your mom.
artsi
Member
Ive been around them for my whole life so Im also nutso I guess, lol.
Maybe thats my problem, Ive been dating too sane people so far and I need some BDSM loving crazy horse ladies in my life.
PancakeBurglar
Member
Me and my girl are into BDSM it's fun, I've only experimented with it a bit in a past relationship but we've decided to embrace it and explore our sexuality with it.
PixelatedBookake
Junior Member
Well the date I had today cancelled fifteen minutes before the date. Oh well. She didn't try to schedule future plans so that might be over with. On the other hand, I did finally talk to this girl in my Science/Society class (thanks to the advice in the thread) and we had a pretty good convo. Didn't have a chance to get her number, so I'll just ask her out in person next week.
LegendofDragoonLives
Member
Stop it mate. Do not talk to her again. If she texts or calls you, tell her it's over. If she asks, keep it simple and short. You sound like a sad, sad sap with this "one more" shit. There's loads of girls that will be more responsive and not this massive mess that you try to fix and she doesn't give much shits about afterwards.
Ignore her and assume the relationship is done. If she calls months later, you decide yourself if you wanna open it again. I wouldn't. A drama queen that appears like a really shitty gf based on your description of her.
LordKasual
Banned
But yeah it's been a hell of a month mentally due to this. The fact she doesn't even take 10 minutes to send me a straight to the point message of what is exactly happening and why she has been acting like this with me the whole month is just too much uncertainty for me to deal because I love her
I think this was the last nail on the coffin.
Yeah I seriously cannot believe the amount of mistery and suffering with her. Like, come on, this is starting to get mentally dangerous for both of us when everything can be solved if she just had a few minutes to talk! I guess soon I would be another lonely soul on the "break-up season" thread.
i gotchu bro
she's not worth it. If she really wanted to fix it even a little bit, she would, but she isn't.
take the hint, remove her from your mind, focus on something else.
Stop wasting mental cycles on something that's only going to result in anger and depression
Happy news to dating-GAF. Moving in with my GF of almost a year in about 10 days. We're very in love and making plans for our future together. As a former 'updater' in this thread I just want to spread hope that none of us is doomed to solitude.
Dating in Los Angeles is crazy.
Dating in Los Angeles is crazy.
I don't even remember lol. Who is that?
LookAtMeGo
Member
Haha not that I dont like horses myself. I've owned horses and love them. But its definitely an observation I made when getting to know those in the horse circles. (Including my ex)
I've heard the 'horse girls are crazy' stereotype too. Makes me think I should get into horse riding to test it.
I'll echo what others have said. While it is possible you can salvage this, I don't see what the point would be. This is a month long relationship and this girl clearly needs to figure out her problems before she's ready to date. You don't need to stay in this toxic relationship.
hurricanes
Member
On mobile and was too lazy to quote at the early morning. But one user is thinking about to "practice" dating with people who he isn't attracted to and and admit that he will get hurt if he was the one getting "practiced". The other one have actually done it to people in the past. Regardless how "apologetic" they feel now, they were/are using people as stepping stones with little regards. Those "quotes" in my last post is just a simple summary of what they actually meant to say.
congrats! I hope everything goes well.
I can't wait until I get to move it with my SO.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
The red piller that Evilore gloriously banned. He kept talking about maxlooks and shit like that while playing his incel fiddle. The fact that I even know these terms disgusts me.
Yep, I completely agree. Im not optimistic (but Im not pessimistic). Immediate rescheduling, the apology, and the fact that we text all the time are other useful data points. But nothing replaces spending time with someone in person.
I dont mind someone whos busy, but Id like to see someone 1-2 times per week.
(Hear that, AdanVC?)