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Depression

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Cosmic Bus

pristine morning snow
I know it is something I can't change, but I can't really help feeling miserable over it. The problem is I have thought so much about it, everyday, at every hour, that it now has gone much beyond just that. I feel inferior, less than everyone else based solely on my height, even if they don't make fun of it or tease me with it (in that aspect I've been lucky enough not to ever been badly teased about my height), it is like nobody really mentions or seems to care about my height, but still I make a huge deal out of it, and I can't help it. Besides, it is some kind of "secret suffering", because I don't really talk about it. Nobody know it affects me the way it does.

I'm the same height as you (5'4") and have felt pretty similarly all my life. It isn't so much that teasing or serious discrimination have been a significant issue, but that I can't accept this miniature stature on a personal level. I hate it and being so short (along with plenty of other physical features about myself that I wish were different) seems like a curse.

Because I literally look like a child with an older face (I'm 34), people don't respect me or take me seriously. I often have to shop in the kids section for clothes. I don't/can't look mature or masculine, so as a gay man, I'm basically ignored by everyone... unless they want a friend, because as Bagels said, we tend to develop a sense of humor about it as a defense mechanism *cough*self-depreciation*cough*bitterness*cough* and we end up being seen as the fun, jovial, dependable guy since all we need is to be wanted, cared about, and not disposed of when someone more appealing comes along.

I dunno... I don't really have any advice to offer, just that I share your pain and frustration about this thing we can never change.
 

daripad

Member
I'm the same height as you (5'4") and have felt pretty similarly all my life. It isn't so much that teasing or serious discrimination have been a significant issue, but that I can't accept this miniature stature on a personal level. I hate it and being so short (along with plenty of other physical features about myself that I wish were different) seems like a curse.

Because I literally look like a child with an older face (I'm 34), people don't respect me or take me seriously. I often have to shop in the kids section for clothes. I don't/can't look mature or masculine, so as a gay man, I'm basically ignored by everyone... unless they want a friend, because as Bagels said, we tend to develop a sense of humor about it as a defense mechanism *cough*self-depreciation*cough*bitterness*cough* and we end up being seen as the fun, jovial, dependable guy since all we need is to be wanted, cared about, and not disposed of when someone more appealing comes along.

I dunno... I don't really have any advice to offer, just that I share your pain and frustration about this thing we can never change.
Wait. Are you saying that gay men prefer tall guys over short ones just because short guys are just an object? No way! I'm gay too, and I'm of average height, but I would consider every guy for their presonality over their physical appearance. That is the most important thing, and if some guys ignore you for your height or your other "flaws", then they're not worth it. Seriously, you will find someone who will be willing to be with you, but you need self esteem, you ARE a great guy, you just have to find yourself. Keep looking for that important person, I'm sure you will find him, sooner or later, be strong.
 

Collete

Member
When you say things like this it makes me wanna punch you right in the depression.

(it's just a matter of speaking, I don't want to punch you at all)

Please don't do anything crazy, or stupid. I don't know how to say this anymore, but you WILL be missed if you go.

Seriously, do you want someone to talk to? Do you need to vent? My PM inbox is open for you, and for everybody else in here too.

*sigh*
I'm just making people worry and bombarding you guys with senseless crap...Think I'll just take a hiatus from the thread for awhile...
Sorry for bothering you all.

Seen this picture the other, seems to pretty much some up what I feel like happens -

http://www.abload.de/img/meh_ro10201eqkm6.png

It's like that for me as well, except it's also can feel like a sudden wave has over taken you and you're just drowning and there's no way out....
 
That's a great analogy! I wear glasses/contacts so that's my go-to when people talk about not wanting to be "dependent" on medications. Insulin works nicely, too. :)

And if you tie a horse to your wheelchair, that's officially a CHARIOT! Which rules.
I think you're the one I talked to when I was going through a tough time (Through Skype.) Thanks!
 

P44

Member
Alright, here we go lads (and laddettes) , big vent coming.

Starting up a new game plan, and this time, I'm going to blow a hole the size of mars in the depression. Going to keep my goals short term, and I'm going to keep them rolling. I'm going to keep them non-crucial, because everytime they're something linked to something where failure could result in something negative, the depression grips me hard, so its going to be light, fluffy stuff in some sense. A lot of stuff that sets me off is that my life seems like a series of plans made to survive, and beyond those plans, when they're complete, I'll have nothing left to do. No reason to go on. Considering my deadline for these plans is arriving in 2-3 years, it feels like I have 2-3 years before the biggest depressive phase of my life.

Talking to a mate, it was brought to my attention that as a person, I'm pretty fucking hollow and I'm going to rectify that. Time to grow as a person. Gonna figure out what I like, what I love, gonna stick to them. Over time, I'm going to try and grow as a person up until the point where if you ask me why do I get out of bed, I will be able to answer you. Tired of getting stuck in bed for 2 hours in the morning staring at the ceiling whilst I pro and con the idea of getting up. Then when the plans run out in 2-3 years, I will have something. A life. If I can build a life in the next 3 years, and have even one reason to get up and out of bed, or just, hell, have something intrinsically positive rather than negative in my life (as it is now) I will have succeeded. But that's going to need a lot of short term goals to get me there.

I think this black dogs going to chase me all my life, but I'd rather make it into a poodle rather than a goddamn rottweiler. I'll probably crash depression wise in the future, but I hope to limit them to rare occasions and short durations.

The CBT has been working wonders, and really spurred me on to read some more, try and change core beliefs, deal with situations better. I've been more able to separate the depression thoughts and the actual thoughts a lot better of recent and thats helping a lot.

I guess the CBT made me feel like I can finally take this thing on. Gonna be slow, but I'll give it a go. Meds were never for me, it just seemed like the wrong approach for me. Fixing the underlying issues in my life is a pointless idea, as that has to be gradual, and once they're gone, the depression will/would remain and to that end, stuff like person based therapy failed me. CBT focused on attacking the depression dead on, forget whats happened, or what will happen, go straight for the jugular of the symptoms. Everyone has problems, and CBT is helping me not be so dragged down by mine.

tl;dr <3 CBT.
 

RionaaM

Unconfirmed Member
And, on a general note to anyone reading this post: Please do not ever consider killing yourself. I don't know how prone people are to that stuff since this is my first visit ever to this thread.
This is almost impossible to do, I believe. Personally, I can't stop thinking about suicide every once in a while, not in a serious manner, but in a "What if..." and a "I wish I had the courage to..." and "It'd put an end to my shitty life...". But to actually decide to go ahead with it, that's what I feel is the problem. That's what everyone here should try to avoid.

So having suicidal thoughts, while not good in the slightest, is not inherently wrong. Attempting to do it is. So I'll rephrase your post: Please do not ever attempt to kill yourself.

*sigh*
I'm just making people worry and bombarding you guys with senseless crap...Think I'll just take a hiatus from the thread for awhile...
Sorry for bothering you all.
Don't be silly. You're not saying anything senseless, nor is what you say crap, nor are you bothering anyone. I don't think you should take a break from this thread, unless you are tired of us (I hope not!) or GAF or the internet or whatever. We are really going to miss you if you go. But whatever you do, please don't do anything stupid. Please.

Alright, here we go lads (and laddettes) , big vent coming.

Starting up a new game plan, and this time, I'm going to blow a hole the size of mars in the depression. Going to keep my goals short term, and I'm going to keep them rolling. I'm going to keep them non-crucial, because everytime they're something linked to something where failure could result in something negative, the depression grips me hard, so its going to be light, fluffy stuff in some sense. A lot of stuff that sets me off is that my life seems like a series of plans made to survive, and beyond those plans, when they're complete, I'll have nothing left to do. No reason to go on. Considering my deadline for these plans is arriving in 2-3 years, it feels like I have 2-3 years before the biggest depressive phase of my life.

Talking to a mate, it was brought to my attention that as a person, I'm pretty fucking hollow and I'm going to rectify that. Time to grow as a person. Gonna figure out what I like, what I love, gonna stick to them. Over time, I'm going to try and grow as a person up until the point where if you ask me why do I get out of bed, I will be able to answer you. Tired of getting stuck in bed for 2 hours in the morning staring at the ceiling whilst I pro and con the idea of getting up. Then when the plans run out in 2-3 years, I will have something. A life. If I can build a life in the next 3 years, and have even one reason to get up and out of bed, or just, hell, have something intrinsically positive rather than negative in my life (as it is now) I will have succeeded. But that's going to need a lot of short term goals to get me there.

I think this black dogs going to chase me all my life, but I'd rather make it into a poodle rather than a goddamn rottweiler. I'll probably crash depression wise in the future, but I hope to limit them to rare occasions and short durations.

The CBT has been working wonders, and really spurred me on to read some more, try and change core beliefs, deal with situations better. I've been more able to separate the depression thoughts and the actual thoughts a lot better of recent and thats helping a lot.

I guess the CBT made me feel like I can finally take this thing on. Gonna be slow, but I'll give it a go. Meds were never for me, it just seemed like the wrong approach for me. Fixing the underlying issues in my life is a pointless idea, as that has to be gradual, and once they're gone, the depression will/would remain and to that end, stuff like person based therapy failed me. CBT focused on attacking the depression dead on, forget whats happened, or what will happen, go straight for the jugular of the symptoms. Everyone has problems, and CBT is helping me not be so dragged down by mine.

tl;dr <3 CBT.
That's the spirit! Hope you can succeed, we're all here if you need someone to talk to (at least I am, and I'm sure many others are willing to listen too).
 

strobogo

Banned
This is almost impossible to do, I believe. Personally, I can't stop thinking about suicide every once in a while, not in a serious manner, but in a "What if..." and a "I wish I had the courage to..." and "It'd put an end to my shitty life...". But to actually decide to go ahead with it, that's what I feel is the problem. That's what everyone here should try to avoid.

So having suicidal thoughts, while not good in the slightest, is not inherently wrong. Attempting to do it is. So I'll rephrase your post: Please do not ever attempt to kill yourself.

I agree with this. Thinking and getting close to the point of actually going through it has actually saved many a night and been a massive relief. It can definitely be therapeutic in its own weird way.
 

Bagels

You got Moxie, kid!
I think you're the one I talked to when I was going through a tough time (Through Skype.) Thanks!

Any time, man. Anybody who wants to can find me on Skype: gaf.bagels.

Great discussion on the height issue! You guys are amazing.

It's a good point about how being funny and self-deprecating can work against you when it comes to "serious" relationships. The funny, dependable guy is a great friend, but when it comes to romance, people seem to prefer assholes and douchebags.

I don't have a ton of great relationship advice (or advice in general, really), beyond people being attracted to confidence, because I honestly got very lucky and found a girl who saw my strongest qualities as great foundations for friendship, but also as the things she wanted in a mate. I look at my nerdy family and my nerdy friends and the guys more or less all attracted girls because of their sense of humor. There are people out there who realize how amazing it is to share your life with someone who can always make you laugh.

To steal Some wisdom from Pau, dating is a numbers game. You need to keep meeting people. Because the people who want what you have to offer are out there. There are people who only want to date tall people (or blonde hair or large breasts or whatever), but plenty of people think other things are way more important. You just need to find them. It's not easy, especially when you just want to hide from the world, but it's worth working on.

Man, do I ramble on or what?
 

jmdajr

Member
I think a lot of time you have to put things into perspective. It's difficult because you only know your own little world, but there are people in other places that are going through some REAL SHIT. Sometimes you need to get away and see that your life isn't that bad.
 
I think a lot of time you have to put things into perspective. It's difficult because you only know your own little world, but there are people in other places that are going through some REAL SHIT. Sometimes you need to get away and see that your life isn't that bad.

You don't understand depression. Perhaps you mean well by this post, but you really don't understand.
 

Maddocks

Member
Has anyone tried positive affirmations to battle their depression? I wonder how effective it can be.

I can only speak for myself, but I started telling myself everyday things I wanted to hear. It took 3 months but im in a much better place now because of it. It can help greatly. I advise it.
 

jmdajr

Member
You don't understand depression. Perhaps you mean well by this post, but you really don't understand.

I understand plenty. It's tough to get the energy to get out of it, nothing seems enjoyable. Luckily I've been able to pull out of it without the use of medication. It was tough just being sucked into a negative mood constantly, but with time it became 50/50 and then 60/40 and so on, until you get to the point when you feel good most of the time. Bad things happen and get knocked back down. Can't do much but try again and get back where you were.

I'm sure it's tougher when people have no one to help them.

To be fair my thing is mostly anxiety, but I know a lot of times the two go together. Very similar symptoms in many categories.

Environmental factors in my opinion are incredibly influential. It might in the end be a chemical imbalance and some people are more susceptible to it, but what goes on around you is what triggers it.
You can't control everything but there is some stuff I believe you can. It helps.
 
It's kind of funny what reactions people get when they reveal that they have depression.

To me it's not so hard to understand, and that you should be supportive of people that have it. But apparently others think that if someone has depression they're going to shoot/slice them up or something.

I have another session tomorrow and I haven't done a single thing I was told to do so I'm not particularly looking forward to that.
 

Prez

Member
I can only speak for myself, but I started telling myself everyday things I wanted to hear. It took 3 months but im in a much better place now because of it. It can help greatly. I advise it.

Thanks. I guess I should give this a try!

It's kind of funny what reactions people get when they reveal that they have depression.

To me it's not so hard to understand, and that you should be supportive of people that have it. But apparently others think that if someone has depression they're going to shoot/slice them up or something.

I haven't had that yet. In my experience people think it's just being sad and it will blow over in a few weeks.
 

jmdajr

Member
It's kind of funny what reactions people get when they reveal that they have depression.

To me it's not so hard to understand, and that you should be supportive of people that have it. But apparently others think that if someone has depression they're going to shoot/slice them up or something.

I have another session tomorrow and I haven't done a single thing I was told to do so I'm not particularly looking forward to that.

I have been pretty surprised about learning of certain people that have depression. It's like "woah, I never knew that guy had problems." The signs are not always visible. I guess you are right, most people expect some emo kid crying in a corner somewhere.
 

Bagels

You got Moxie, kid!
I think a lot of time you have to put things into perspective. It's difficult because you only know your own little world, but there are people in other places that are going through some REAL SHIT. Sometimes you need to get away and see that your life isn't that bad.

I know you mean well, but this kind of thing actually usually makes people feel worse. Depression is fundamentally an illogical disease - the hallmark is feeling bad out of proportion to your circumstances. I KNOW that many, many people have it way worse than I do. But that does not make the pain I feel any less real. It's phenomenally unhelpful to be told, "Come on! There are people with real problems out there! Just cheer up!"

Kudos on being able to overcome your issues, but many, many cases of depression aren't going to respond to that approach. Depression is an illness like diabetes, cancer, you name it. Why do people think that an illness is going to somehow respond to logic?
 

Collete

Member

I know I'm on hiatus but just for temporary post right at this moment...
Going to say this now, but thanks to you I actually think about and pursue my writing a little more than before.
Without your encouragement, even though I'm in my own hole unable to get out, you still got my gears turning on writing and pursuing my passion more. Thank you.
You told me your dreams of teaching in Japan before, it's still possible and everyone's here for you rooting you on.
 

DaFunk

Neo Member
I'm going to quit my life

Feelin' very similar to this right now. Trying to just endure and improve, but then I think of how I have 3 years left of school, not entirely sure I'll enjoy a job in the field I'm studying (engineering), stuck at a shitty food service job because I really don't want to put myself in debt. It's just really hard to continue caring when I have years of this to come and nothing is guaranteed. Sorry for the mini-rant.

Been lurking this thread for a while, first time posting. You are all wonderful and caring people.
 

jmdajr

Member
I know you mean well, but this kind of thing actually usually makes people feel worse. Depression is fundamentally an illogical disease - the hallmark is feeling bad out of proportion to your circumstances. I KNOW that many, many people have it way worse than I do. But that does not make the pain I feel any less real. It's phenomenally unhelpful to be told, "Come on! There are people with real problems out there! Just cheer up!"

Kudos on being able to overcome your issues, but many, many cases of depression aren't going to respond to that approach. Depression is an illness like diabetes, cancer, you name it. Why do people think that an illness is going to somehow respond to logic?

Not logic necessarily. I just think environmental factors can help.... or make it worse, sure.
If it didn't matter at all, then only medication would be an option. I don't think it always is.
 

Wilsongt

Member
Has anyone tried positive affirmations to battle their depression? I wonder how effective it can be.

I feel silly when I do that. I can't look myself in the mirror and go "You look sexy today," because I don't.

I also can't look at the work I do and say "It may not be great, but it is getting there!" because it's not.

=/
 

daripad

Member
Look at it this way. I'd rather die the person I am now than to become a person who I don't want to become.
Nope, you are going to become a strong man who can get what he wants because he has will

I feel silly when I do that. I can't look myself in the mirror and go "You look sexy today," because I don't.

I also can't look at the work I do and say "It may not be great, but it is getting there!" because it's not.

=/

Those are your flaws, but you have to act to eat rid of them. Also you can make a list of the things you are good at, and these things should be repeated everyday so you feel better about yourself
 

Bagels

You got Moxie, kid!
Not logic necessarily. I just think environmental factors can help.... or make it worse, sure.
It it didn't matter at all, then only medication would be an option. I don't think it always is.

Environmental factors, sure, but saying "I should feel better because other people have it worse" gets you nowhere fast.
 

jmdajr

Member
Environmental factors, sure, but saying "I should feel better because other people have it worse" gets you nowhere fast.

I understand. I've been there too. How can I feel so crappy when so and so has it worse.
It sucks, because you don't want to feel that way. I did say people sometimes can only know their own world.

But do everything I can. Putting things into perspective is just one. If it can help anyone, I wouldn't totally discredit it.

Interesting. If so many people suffer from depression, and many some folks says.."you don't understand." Well, maybe some do.
Varying degrees? Sure. Oh well, it's hard to listen sometimes too.
 

Bagels

You got Moxie, kid!
I understand. I've been there too. How can I feel so crappy when so and so has it worse.
It sucks, because you don't want to feel that way. I did say people sometimes can only know their own world.

But do everything I can. Putting things into perspective is just one. If it can help anyone, I wouldn't totally discredit it.

Interesting. If so many people suffer from depression, and many some folks says.."you don't understand." Well, maybe some do.
Varying degrees? Sure. Oh well, it's hard to listen sometimes too.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I get the deeper point, and I do agree that trying to get some perspective is part of the healing process. People have just historically reacted terribly to posts saying "hey, other people have it worse!" I bristle at that, frankly. Because it's so damn easy to write off depression as this fake illness - it's all in your head, just cheer up, etc. I get that you didn't mean that, but plenty of people have made similar posts and that WAS their message.

You're right about how many people are secretly suffering from depression. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to translate into any kind of better understanding across our society.

Still, I was floored when I "came out" to some of my friends. I thought I was really in tune with what depression was all about, but people I never pictured as having depression had in fact been hospitalized, were on meds, were in therapy. That was and is an amazing thing.

Thanks for joining our little community. I don't mean to jump down your throat or anything. Posts about having perspective just don't come across very well. There's a complex interplay between admitting that you have a real illness, a disease, treating it as such, and trying to get your thoughts in order and get that perspective. It's really fucking hard! I struggle with it all the time when I think about my own depression. It's much easier for me to see how real this thing is for the rest of you guys. I don't know why I'm so much harder on myself.
 

jmdajr

Member
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I get the deeper point, and I do agree that trying to get some perspective is part of the healing process. People have just historically reacted terribly to posts saying "hey, other people have it worse!" I bristle at that, frankly. Because it's so damn easy to write off depression as this fake illness - it's all in your head, just cheer up, etc. I get that you didn't mean that, but plenty of people have made similar posts and that WAS their message.

You're right about how many people are secretly suffering from depression. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to translate into any kind of better understanding across our society.

Still, I was floored when I "came out" to some of my friends. I thought I was really in tune with what depression was all about, but people I never pictured as having depression had in fact been hospitalized, were on meds, were in therapy. That was and is an amazing thing.

Thanks for joining our little community. I don't mean to jump down your throat or anything. Posts about having perspective just don't come across very well. There's a complex interplay between admitting that you have a real illness, a disease, treating it as such, and trying to get your thoughts in order and get that perspective. It's really fucking hard! I struggle with it all the time when I think about my own depression. It's much easier for me to see how real this thing is for the rest of you guys. I don't know why I'm so much harder on myself.

It's cool. I'm fighting my own battle, so I definitely don't mean to put people down,or make it seem that it's not a real problem. It's tough and it sucks.

I wish I was better at handling adversity. It's the type of thing that someone will say, there is 99% chance that everything will be ok, and yet I worry about that 1%?
Why? I disappoint myself acting like that. But I know what kind of things can trigger me, and sometimes I have to be honest, ..I don't try my best at handling the situation. I CAN do better. I know shit can't just be willed away, but it could be a lot less worse. Just feel that even though there is stuff we can't control, we can't give up on the things we still can.
 

Colin.

Member
My mood has spiked down today, I hate feeling like this. I just feel empty. I see and hear of others who are doing well in the world and have solid futures ahead, then there's me, a waste. I've excelled at nothing in my life and I don't think that's going to change any time soon. When you're growing up your always told things like "everyone is good at something" "you can be anything you want" what a load of crap. All I've ever done is scrape by in anything I've tried to achieve, I even fail at interaction with my own species, how pathetic. The only impact I make is using up the resources wasted to keep me alive.
 

RionaaM

Unconfirmed Member
I think a lot of time you have to put things into perspective. It's difficult because you only know your own little world, but there are people in other places that are going through some REAL SHIT. Sometimes you need to get away and see that your life isn't that bad.
Dude, can we please not do the "Kids in Africa have it much worse than you, therefore you shouldn't feel bad about your stupid problems" tactic? Thanks.

You don't understand depression. Perhaps you mean well by this post, but you really don't understand.
Sorry for the off-topic, but I can't help myself: I was just listening to the album featured in your avatar. "Coming back to life" never ceases to amaze me, I swear it gets better every time I listen to it.

I'm going to quit my life
Nope, you are going to live it and try to make it better. I really don't know if you'll be able to, but damn if you're not going to at least try. C'mon, don't give up. You've gotten so far, you could very well keep going until the end.

I'm going to tell you the same as I did to Oomikami: please don't do anything stupid. If you ever feel like harming yourself, come here instead and talk to someone. Send me a PM, or post in this thread. Then put on your favorite album (I recommend Cosmo's Factory by Creedence Clearwater Revival, or On Air by Alan Parsons), lay in your bed and let the music calm you down. But whatever you do, please don't make any stupid and irreversible decision.
 

Windam

Scaley member
I'm just a broken record. I don't know how else to describe myself anymore. Day in, day out, it's the same shit. Pretty sure the few people I talk to are sick of it/me, even if they won't admit it. I contribute nothing of value to anyone, or anywhere and all I do is ask for more; more help. I'm sick of being who I am.

Edit: Even this is the same. :/
 

Smiley90

Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
I'm just a broken record. I don't know how else to describe myself anymore. Day in, day out, it's the same shit. Pretty sure the few people I talk to are sick of it/me, even if they won't admit it. I contribute nothing of value to anyone, or anywhere and all I do is ask for more; more help. I'm sick of being who I am.

If I was, I wouldn't be talking to you, would I. It's not like you're a classmate/coworker I can't ignore. Ignoring you would be the easiest thing in the world, IF I wanted to. But I don't. So there's that.
 

cryptic

Member
What do I do Gaf.
No work, no prospects, bills coming from school.
This school I failed at, and I fear I'm just a failure because of it.
My parents always argue and cry over money and it hurts.
Where can I go to get away from this hell?
 

coldvein

Banned
What do I do Gaf.
No work, no prospects, bills coming from school.
This school I failed at, and I fear I'm just a failure because of it.
My parents always argue and cry over money and it hurts.
Where can I go to get away from this hell?

become a buddhist monk
 

Bagels

You got Moxie, kid!
I'm just a broken record. I don't know how else to describe myself anymore. Day in, day out, it's the same shit. Pretty sure the few people I talk to are sick of it/me, even if they won't admit it. I contribute nothing of value to anyone, or anywhere and all I do is ask for more; more help. I'm sick of being who I am.

Edit: Even this is the same. :/

Not sick of you at all, dude. I don't think there's a person in this thread who has a real handle on how much they are helping others.
 

Voyevoda007

Neo Member
I don't usually post here. But I need to share this with someone.

I'm 22 (gonna be 23 soon) and I'm having a hard time. I picked a major that I love, but can't seem to focus enough to succeed in it. Most of my buddies have graduated and I still have a long way to go. Moving from a Community College, to a University has really killed me. It feels like a totally different ball game. In the past I could usually bullshit through the assignments and get a decent grade but I can't even get a C in some of my classes. I scared that the University might kick me out and I would lose my Financial Aid. Focus seems to be a huge problem since I was a kid, and recently I been told I might have ADHD/ADD. I'm not even sure. I feel like a loser to be honest. I want to do good in school but just can't seem to get my head straight.

My social life is not better. Most of my close friends are heavy drug user, I love them but I can't be around them. Never had a girlfriend, or any close relationship with a woman. I have a job, but the pay is not nearly good enough.

I want to change, I want to be someone who has goals and achieve them. But I lack something.
 

RatskyWatsky

Hunky Nostradamus
I feel like we need to bring back scheduled chats. Both the Skype and Mibbit rooms are dead pretty much any time I check them out. We tried this once before but I can't remember what day/time we decided would be best for everyone. Thoughts?
 

Corky

Nine out of ten orphans can't tell the difference.
Fuck yea!

You know when you think life just can't get worse? How everything you touch turns to shit, can't get out of bed, constantly sick, body aching and the one light in the tunnel is you thinking "well, it can't get worse than this so I guess I'll bump into something positive soon".

No.

It always get's worse, it's amazing really, you feel so bad that you can't possibly comprehend feeling worse and yet you keep getting harsh reminders that there is no light in the tunnel, it won't get better no matter how much you'd like to cling to that shred of hope or how others try to pep you up. In fact it will always get worse.
 

TUROK

Member
Fuck yea!

You know when you think life just can't get worse? How everything you touch turns to shit, can't get out of bed, constantly sick, body aching and the one light in the tunnel is you thinking "well, it can't get worse than this so I guess I'll bump into something positive soon".

No.

It always get's worse, it's amazing really, you feel so bad that you can't possibly comprehend feeling worse and yet you keep getting harsh reminders that there is no light in the tunnel, it won't get better no matter how much you'd like to cling to that shred of hope or how others try to pep you up. In fact it will always get worse.
It can always get worse. But it can always get better, too. Life is full of ups and downs. I think it's safe to say that a lot of us in here have had way more downs than ups. I'm not really good at this encouragement stuff, but I implore you to wait for the ups.

I'm an extremely cynical person. Every day I feel like things just won't get better, but for some reason, I just refuse to throw in the towel. It's definitely not optimism, but rather a feeling that I just cannot allow myself to give up, that I just cannot let this sad and pathetic existence go to waste.

I hope you can find that one thing that keeps you from giving up, even if it's something as simple as just trying to stick it out for the ride.
 

Corky

Nine out of ten orphans can't tell the difference.
It can always get worse. But it can always get better, too. Life is full of ups and downs. I think it's safe to say that a lot of us in here have had way more downs than ups. I'm not really good at this encouragement stuff, but I implore you to wait for the ups.

I'm an extremely cynical person. Every day I feel like things just won't get better, but for some reason, I just refuse to throw in the towel. It's definitely not optimism, but rather a feeling that I just cannot allow myself to give up, that I just cannot let this sad and pathetic existence go to waste.

I hope you can find that one thing that keeps you from giving up, even if it's something as simple as just trying to stick it out for the ride.

I've waited for what feels like a lifetime, and not on my ass mind you I've honestly tried making it better but my life keeps getting worse. See that's the problem, for once I can understand a part of this hell, if I had been in bed and just trying to 'wait everything out' then sure I wouldn't be surprised when it all inevitably goes to shit. But when you actively try to make it better and yet not a single thing improves... well that just hurts.


Yeah I used to feel the same, that I won't give up as this miserable existence needs to be turned around and put to some use... but that's long gone I literally don't care anymore.

Eh don't worry, screw the encouragement stuff, I'm starting to feel that's the worst thing about this : people telling me 'it will get better', no it won't, why should it better? Random chance? Giving people false hope is bloody cruel, from now on if anyone asks me about things related to depression or w/e I'm gonna be brutally honest. No point in lying to yourselves/others. Yeah maybe it gets better for some, kudos to them though.
 
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